He’s such a gentleman!
The wind had died down and his hair draped like soft velvet over his shoulders. What a beauty of a man I had the good fortune to behold. Our eyes met as I came closer. What beautiful dark eyes he has, smiling eyes, loving eyes, adoring eyes.
“My dear,” he said as he opened the door, bowing like a servant. He was back behind the wheel in a flash. “How did your visit go?”
“It was lovely, simply lovely,” I said. If I had paid attention, I might have noticed the tiny bit of sarcasm in his tone, but as it turned out, it didn’t register until sometime later.
“And did you get your questions answered, my love?” he asked, oozing sweetness.
“As a matter of fact, Sibelle made it quite clear to me that she would have more to tell me, if only I was able to keep my thoughts to myself.” That sounded kinder than blaming him for listening in on my thoughts.
“She did, did she?” He sounded quite happy with himself.
Why isn’t he the least bit curious about what she could have told me, if only my mind was my own?
He reached over and put a hand on my thigh, saying, “Well, that is a shame, is it not?”
Now he sounded downright mocking. I turned to face him as he drove away and decided, instead of lashing out, like I really wanted to; I’d take the high road. I forced myself to only think about Sibelle’s words of encouragement.
I do possess the gift! I will learn how to use it wisely.
And, most importantly right now, Sibelle trusted me! Her secret would’ve been shared with me, if only he couldn’t read my mind. And, besides, what’s the point in arguing? We always made up anyway. We would always love each other. I didn’t want to ruin the last evening of our holiday, and we had a bright future ahead of us. Right now, that was quite enough.
After arriving back at the lodge, Emrys pulled me into his arms and lavished his sweet cherry kisses all over my face and neck. It was electrifying. Within seconds, we were on the bed, lost in the moment, and moving together as one.
This is so much better than arguing.
* * *
The next day we arrived at the tiny airport in Stornoway in plenty of time to make our flight. I recalled the last time we’d flown; a massive jet had taken us from Canada to the U.K. Now climbing aboard this toy plane, I hoped claustrophobia wouldn’t set in – there couldn’t have been more than 30 seats. But luckily it was only a short 45-minute flight to Inverness and, it gave us a chance to view the islands from above - and the views were spectacular. We were even given complimentary drinks by the lovely Scottish staff, and the time snapped by so quickly, we barely finished our drinks by the time we were ready to land.
After a short ride from the airport to the train station, we had just enough time to grab a quick meal, and then catch the Sleeper train. Scotland was beautiful, and as we sat together wrapped in each other’s arms, we watched the Highlands disappear behind us as twilight glowed in the sky, coloring the horizon with red and purple streaks.
Even though I didn’t get all of my questions answered, I was happy and satisfied, knowing that in time, everything Sibelle had said would make more sense.
CHAPTER 6
HIDDEN CHARMS
As always, it was great to be back at home. As much fun as traveling can be, living out of suitcases can be a giant pain, and being home again means organization. There’s something to be said about knowing exactly where all your stuff is…and of course, being near family. And even though Emrys has an endless supply of donors scattered all over the world, I always felt more secure at home with our live-in donors who keep our fridge stocked at all times.
As soon as we finished unpacking Emrys had to get back to business and went down to his office, and for the first time, Amrita volunteered to sit with me. It was a bit awkward at first, since we’d only conversed when other family members were around, never really one on one. Drinking tall glasses of our sweet nectar together was quite relaxing, and after the first fifteen minutes or so, it felt nearly as comfortable as spending time with my own sister.
And apparently since it was so late in the evening, Amrita had already taken all of her makeup off and lounged casually in a pair of baggy gray sweats and an old tattered white t-shirt. Every now and then my eyes were drawn to her many piercings, but even they looked less daunting without all the dark colors she usually wore – clothing and makeup.
“Thanks for not making a big deal out of my lack of war-paint, Lizzy. I rarely show my face without it. But for some reason, I just knew I could be myself with you.” She shifted and pulled her bare feet up under herself on the wide chair and hugged her knees to her chest. I couldn’t get over the difference in her, and had to force myself to not stare.
“Really? I barely noticed,” I said, giving her a wide-eyed grin; of course she knew I was joking right away.
“Sometimes I get tired of the façade, you know?” she said, and smiled back.
“I think I know what you mean,” I started. “But, in all seriousness, Amrita, you are every bit as gorgeous without all of that makeup.”
“Thank-you Lizzy, but I don’t wear it to try to make myself beautiful; I actually wear it to hide. I’ve been hiding for as long as I can remember. I may not be a psychologist, but I think I understand myself pretty well.
I was amazed she had made such a revelation to me, and apparently she noticed my surprise when she went on with her explanation.
“I feel like I can trust you with my feelings, Lizzy.” Amrita leaned back, looking more serene than I’d ever seen her and said, “I’m not sure why, but perhaps it’s because I’ve seen you and Emrys together. Or maybe because I’ve watched the way you interact with all of your other relationships around here. You definitely have a knack for bringing out the best in us.” She paused and raised an eyebrow, adding, “I barely even noticed Kelsey before you got ahold of her. Suddenly she has a personality! And a fun one too! It actually makes me feel guilty for not trying to befriend her sooner. Her mother can be such an old stick-in-the-mud; I suppose I just didn’t want to contend with any of her nonsense.” She heaved a sigh. “I always had the feeling that Priscilla didn’t like me, so it was easier to stay away from both of them.”
I thought back to the story that Kelsey had told me about her mother, and how despondent Priscilla had become after Phoebe was cast away from Ravenswynd. Perhaps Priscilla felt it was somehow Amrita’s fault, in a weird second-hand way. In reality, it was the stupid rules that had caused her to lose her friend. It actually made me rather angry thinking about it…after all, poor Amrita had to grow up motherless. The least Priscilla could have done is be there for the child.
“You do realize that Priscilla and your mother were good friends, don’t you?” I asked, keeping my voice calm. Kelsey had told me all about Phoebe and Priscilla’s close relationship too.
“Yes,” she said, nodding. “Emrys has mentioned it several times through the years. Still, it just always seemed like she blamed me for my mother being banished. As if I had anything to do with it!” She narrowed her eyes at me and shook her head.
Apparently I was on the right track with my thoughts about Priscilla, and said, “Some individuals have a weird way of looking at things, don’t they?”
“Yep.” She switched gears, nodded her head thoughtfully, and said, “I suppose that’s partly why I took to hiding behind all those alternate personas. I figured the more I appeared to be unapproachable, the more they’d all just leave me alone. I’ll tell you what; I was damn lucky when Larkin fell for me. For some reason I never felt the need to hide from him, and he got a kick out of all my crazy alter egos. But here I am, Lizzy. The real me.” She held both arms out wide. “What do you think?” She kept smiling, but I sensed she had a real need to know how I felt about her.
I gave her another wide grin. “Amrita, I saw right through you as soon as you opened your mouth that first night on the dock. Oh, don’t get me wrong,” I said, raising my eyebrows. “When I firs
t spotted you gliding over to us, I freaked out a little. And then, up close, seeing all those tattoos and piercings, I thought, wow, this chick is unreal. But then you started to talk. I heard the softness in your voice right away. Eventually, I figured it out; I knew you had a big story to tell.”
“I knew you’d get me as soon as Emrys told me that you grew up without a mom. I just knew it.” Her eyes glistened in the dim light as she held back the tears, and a moment later I had to swallow down the jagged lump in my throat. Nodding my understanding, I now realized just how deep our connection really was.
And suddenly I remembered. It was amazing to me how I had completely forgotten! I jumped up and said, “Oh! Hang on a sec!” I ran into my bedroom and over to the vanity table, yanked the middle drawer open and reached to the back, careful to not jab the envelope under my fingernail like I did the first time I’d found it. But then I wondered if this was a good idea and hesitated, thinking: What if Amrita left it there on purpose? Or worse yet, what if she never saw it before? But it was too late. Not being a good liar, I couldn’t think of any other reason to give her for my idiotic actions.
Okay, relax, Elizabeth. She’s not going to freak out on you…just show it to her.
I returned to the living room to find Amrita half-smiling and half-frowning. “What’s the deal, Lizzy?”
“I…um…” Stammering like an idiot, I held up the envelope. “I found this in the drawer of the vanity, Amrita. It doesn’t belong to me, and I…thought…”
Amrita’s expression turned into a full-frown as she eyed the envelope in my hand.
“I think it must be Phoebe’s” I said, pausing, and then shaking my head. “I mean – your mother’s private prophecy from Sibelle. I read part of it,” I admitted. “But as soon as I realized what it was, I stopped.”
Amrita reached up as I handed it to her. “Oh!” she said accepting it. “I forgot all about this! I found it decades ago before I was turned. I was just a kid and never gave it a second thought.” She quickly peeled back the top of the envelope and pulled out the paper.
I watched her open it and her frown grew even deeper. Her breath hitched for a moment, she put a hand to her chest, and said, “Wow! This is my mother’s writing. I recognize it from the letters she left for me.”
She took another long breath and my mind sidetracked for just a moment.
I never knew Phoebe left her daughter letters. How sweet.
I sat down across from her and watched her read silently. It had been long enough that I’d already forgotten the exact words, but I did remember the gist of it, and I clasped my hands nervously in my lap waiting for her reaction.
She glanced up at me. Her frown was gone, but she’d replaced it with a sorrowful look instead. And then she surprised me when she looked back down and read aloud from the beginning.
“True fortune told and quite profound-
Your fate shall force you underground.
Though on that eve ‘tis not your fault,
You’ll bear the blame for this assault.
Half insane, with shrieking breath,
Ferocious battle - to the death.
One is conquered and beheaded,
And one mind is all but shredded.
No longer living as a wife,
A babe is born within the strife,
Just three short months to be a mother,
A daughter raised by elder brother.”
That was about where I had stopped reading after realizing that the prophecy was meant for Phoebe. I had no idea how much more there was, nor how it would affect Amrita. I began to panic, thinking this could really set her off, especially now that she was letting her hair down with me. When she heard me give a loud sigh, she looked up for a moment and said, “There’s more.” About halfway through the next stanza her voice hitched quieter, and when she was finished, the tears began to fall.
“Heavy hearts with this foretelling-
When you are banished from your dwelling.
Grievous wailing, silent tears,
You must be strong for many years.”
I wiped my eyes quickly, and went to sit beside her. I felt terrible and wished I had never remembered the damn envelope. “I’m so sorry, Amrita.” I put a hand on her shoulder. “I never should have showed you this.”
“There’s even more…but I can’t read it,” she said closing her eyes.
At first I thought she’d ask me to finish reading it for her, but she shook her head, clearly shaken up, and folded the paper and stuffed it back into the envelope. She looked up at me and said, “It’s not your fault, Lizzy. It’s not as if I ever really knew her. I don’t even know why I’m crying.” She tried to shrug it off, but it was too late. I had seen the real Amrita.
“But for God’s sake, she was your mother! What’s not fair is that you were deprived of that relationship just because of a stupid rule. At least my mother had a good excuse for leaving me!” Although I didn’t say it aloud, I did have a vague recollection of my mom.
Amrita put a hand on mine. “I know, Lizzy. But it’s too late to shed any more tears. What’s done is done.” She shrugged and shook her head again. “It’s not like anyone can bring her back.” She wiped her face and, with a determined look, gave me a small grin.
I leaned back into the sofa, rested my head back, folded my arms across my chest, and just stared up at the ceiling. We were both lost in our own thoughts for a while, and the room grew silent. In the stillness of the moment, the hoot of an owl could be heard in the distance, stirring me out of my reverie.
I sat back up and examined Amrita’s medallion. It occurred to me that I’d never questioned her about it. Pointing toward her chest, I asked, “Is the owl your totem, Amrita?”
She glanced down, pulled the owl between her fingers, and began to rub it with her thumb. “Ah, my little owl. I got this from Emrys the day he turned me. I really have no idea how Sibelle knew my preference to birds, especially the owl, but she told him I needed to wear this.”
She rolled her eyes, and I wasn’t sure if she was mocking Sibelle’s suggestion about the medallion, or her prophetic abilities in general. I asked, “Didn’t you ever go see her yourself?”
“No, I haven’t. I’ve always felt that her fortune telling didn’t really help anyone all that much.” She leaned back and let the medallion drop. “Apparently it didn’t help my mother to know ahead of time, now did it?” Her voice was sharp and accusing.
“I see your point,” I said, sighing and nodding.
“I just always wondered why you didn’t have a Raven on your medallion, like Emrys and I do.” I touched my necklace, feeling the smoothness of the crystal.
“I assume… since my blood-line comes from Idris, I am not a true Bertrand. I don’t mind though. I love my owl.” She touched it again, and gave it a gentle rub. “My little bird of the night,” she said with a forced smile.
I could see that even though she was trying to be honest with me, it was difficult for her, so I decided to change the subject.
“You know, I always thought that owls were supposed to be nocturnal. But when Emrys and I went to see Sibelle, I saw a big white owl on her roof. And as a matter of fact,” I added, now remembering back, “I also saw one here in Kelsey’s garden – both times in broad daylight.”
Amrita looked thoughtful. “Hmm, now that you mention it, I always see them in the daytime too. I guess I never gave it much thought before either.”
“And, speaking of birds, it’s apparent that you also like swans. I could spend hours just sitting near the pond watching those graceful creatures floating about.”
“Me too,” she said with a wide grin. “That’s why I had them brought here. And by the way, did you know that swans are monogamous?”
“Oh, that’s right. I remember Emrys telling me that they mate for life!”
Amrita nodded, saying, “My darling husband thought that I’d bought them just to make a statement. He was so concerned that since we didn’
t have the benefit of the Signatus, that in time, we’d grow apart or that I’d fall out of love with him. Actually when I did my research about swans - and their habitats and lifestyles, I found that there were many other animals that are monogamous.” She gave a quick chuckle and continued, “For example, black vultures mate for life too, but I didn’t see fit to stock our land with those creatures! I just think the swans are so very elegant and beautiful; I wanted to be able to see them in person any time I felt the need.”
I didn’t mention to her that Emrys had already told me about Larkin’s unwarranted fears. I just gave her an understanding smile and then sitting forward, I finally asked the one question I’d been dying to ask her for months. “Amrita, what was Ambrose really like?”
Her eyes widened in surprise, and before she had a chance to answer I explained; “I only know the bits and pieces that I’ve gleaned from the dreams during my transition. I’ve never had the guts to ask Emrys too much about him. It’s such a sore spot in his life. I mean, obviously, it wasn’t easy for you to grow up without parents either, but he must feel so conflicted about his father. His love for him must vacillate now and then, you know? It can’t be easy to love the one who banished your own mother, and yet he seemed to keep a semblance of respect for the guy, at least until Ambrose lost his mind.”
“He was one creepy chap,” she said nodding. I could see she weighed her words carefully, and then she added, “He seriously scared the crap out of me when I was a kid.”
I nodded, not sure if she realized how much I knew or didn’t know, but prepared to listen to whatever she had to say.
“He used to wander around the whole estate in the dark, shuffling up and down the hallways like some kind of zombie. That freaked the hell out of me. He was always mumbling as he wandered around in the dark; and once in a while, he’d let out a shriek that was loud enough to hear all the way to the gatehouse. I remember distinctly as if it was yesterday, exactly what he said too.” She closed her eyes and suddenly I could almost see the frightened little girl as she mimicked Ambrose. Slowly and with a deep voice she said, “And my soul from out that shadow - that lies floating on the floor - Shall be lifted - nevermore!” She opened her eyes and leaned closer, stared at me with wide eyes and slowly and softly said, “Nevermore!”
The Ravenswynd Series - Boxed Set Page 59
