by Aria Ford
A lifetime seemed to pass in the span of a moment bore the doorknob finally turned, and I sprung up on tense legs. Smoothing the purple and cream skirt of my dress, my fingers trembled as the violent cocktail of emotions inside me drained to be replaced with giddiness.
I had a plan; I would apologize to Luciano. My plan didn’t go any further, but it didn’t need to.
Only the form that appeared behind the barrier before me wasn’t tall or broad or imposing. Blinking slowly, my eyelids snapped back wide as my pupils blew up. Clad in a casual suit, Sylvi stood straight even as he tilted to lean on the door frame. Shrewd, appraising eyes scanned my body from top to bottom, and a sliver of darkness pierced my heart.
“I bet you’re wondering where Luciano is. He left an hour ago to warm up at the Stadium.” Crossing his ankles, Sylvi locked eyes with me just as a wave of disappointment crashed into me. The devastating blow was enough to send me swaying back, and I stumbled down onto the foot of my bed. Staring into nothing, my eyes swam with the tears of a missed opportunity.
“What did you do to him while you were out today?” Flickering to Sylvi, my eyes couldn’t focus on him while my mind screamed at me. All of this would have been avoided if I had ignored that woman- a stranger, someone I didn’t even know the name of.
But it was so easy to believe her… My heart nearly stopped at the thought. It was easy to believe her because she wasn’t lying.
“Hey.” Snapping to Sylvi as he languidly strode across the room, my vision cleared with a harsh shutter of my lids. Tensing with each foot that disappeared between us, I held my breath as his expression softened. “Do you love him?”
A deep, dark shudder lodged in my spine, jerking my shoulders and forcing my tears to start falling. My mind went blank at Sylvi’s question, shrouded in darkness that lasted seconds. Inside and out the silence stretched, and the lump in my throat bubbled up until a sob burst from between my trembling lips. Choking on air, my throat burned as my lungs quivered around a heart that no longer knew how to beat properly.
Gasping cries wrenched from my body, and snot ran down form my nose to mix with tears. Covering my ruined face, my palms were hot and clammy, smearing the mess that coated my skin. Crying a hoarse shriek, my hysteria reached its peak at a fragment of a thought that managed to form.
I betrayed him. This was my punishment; not a literal death, but a figurative one.
Unfamiliar fingers wrapped around my chin while yet more pried my hands from my face. Through watery, aching eyes Sylvi appeared, his face drawn and lips turned down into a deep frown. Pushing back strands of hair that stuck to my cheeks, his gentle touch made me flinch. Heaving for air, my lungs screamed, and my heart palpated as the dark blotch surrounding it grew.
“I knew he made a mistake by keeping you like some pet… but it’s too late now to kill you. Do you know why I didn’t kill you in Trevor’s apartment even though you witnessed his murder?” Sighing heavily, Sylvi didn’t wait for me to shake my head; I wasn’t sure I could as madness closed in on me. “You remind me of this girl I knew in Italy. She was a slut- the best slut I’d ever had. The things I made her do and did to her horrified her so much she never spoke of it. She never acknowledged those terrible, disgusting things between those endless moments. And you’re so much like her. You wouldn’t have said anything about Trevor to anyone. You would’ve ignored it because he disgusted you. That’s why I offered to let you go.”
“But you stayed, and now you need Luciano… like some sick puppy that latched onto the first semblance of safety you could find. It’s revolting, really. Now, you’re here alone for the first time with me because Luciano decided you’re no longer worth his effort. He’s going to ignore you because you disgust him, just like that slut did- just like you did with Trevor. You need him, but he can’t even bring himself to look at you. You betrayed him, and this is the consequence.”
I betrayed him. Sylvi’s retreating form was lost to me as those three, little words circled in my mind. The abyss reached out, overtaking my field of vision until I was surrounded it. I betrayed him.
‘I don’t trust Sylvi…’ Luciano’s voice burst through the darkness to hit my body like an invisible brick wall. Gasping from the impact, I fell back onto my bed as memories rushed into my mind’s eye. The gym- the first time I met Sarah- I had been trying to block out her incessant talking. When Luciano’s familiar vocal wave reverberated around the gym, and his angry words had given my ears some relief.
“Don’t trust Sylvi…” My mumble was barely even words, but it banished the all consuming black around me. Blinking as inky tendrils were sucked into the corners of the room, I pushed myself up onto my elbows. Luciano wouldn’t ignore me. He would kill me.
The rationalization brought so much comfort it gently coaxed my heart back into rhythm, and I sat up fully. Relief turned my legs into limp noodles, and I managed a deep, steadying breath. Wiping my face, I sniffled hard as the space around me snapped into focus. Standing up slowly, my muscles ached and tingled as they slowly relaxed from their stiffness.
Sylvi and that woman from the shop were the same, and I shook my head roughly at the thought. They were destructive to me- to us, Luciano and I.
But there’s a place neither can get to us.
Stumbling over my half numb feet, I took slow, short steps to reach the door. When the barrier swung open easily, that pin needle sensation had given way to a surge of determination. The house was empty, dark even with golden light streaming through the curtained windows. Peering down the hallway, I rushed towards the stairs even as discomfort mounted in my gut. Over these past weeks I never once left my room without Luciano.
I have to, though. Because Luciano was out there, and Sylvi was whispering in his ear just as that woman from the shop had done to me.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
LUCIANO
“Are you okay, Luciano? I’ve never seen you fight like that before…” Emptying the rest of a bottle of alcohol onto my fists, I hissed at the sting as Sylvi’s words snaked into my ears from behind me. The smell of sweat and blood curled my nose hairs; a block of uncovered, gray concrete filled my vision. Tossing the bottle of the floor, my fingers flexed and tensed with the desire to squeeze something.
“I’m fine.” My grunt reverberated through the small room I had been assigned, echoing off the walls. Only a plain, hard couch and a shower decorated the space. There wasn’t even a rug on the concrete floor.
The room was nothing more than a fucking concrete box- a cell.
“No, you’re not. What happened today?” Clenching into fists, my hands shook from a mix of pain and adrenaline. Images whirled through my mind of the shit that had happened today. My muscles gorged on blood rich with oxygen and anger, and I took a shallow, rasping breath.
“She was afraid of me.” That collection of words felt alien as they rolled off my tongue. Disgust rose up inside me, and my lips curled into a snarl. “That fucking cunt made her afraid of me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Lei è sempre spaventata.” Whirling around, I lunged at the only person stupid enough to come near me. My hands finally found something to crush, and Sylvi’s neck was slender enough for my fingertips to touch.
“Not like that!” Roaring in his face, I squeezed until his harsh breaths rang in my ears. My brother was powerless against me; his wide and fearful eyes told me he never expected me to turn on him, but in that moment I didn’t care. “She was never afraid of me like that!”
Restricting around Sylvi’s neck, my palms itched to take another life as Aya’s image bubbled up from my brain. He couldn’t breathe at all now, his mouth opening and closing as his throat flexed wildly. Watching his face go from bright, lobster red to pale purple, my eyes narrowed into slits.
Jerking Sylvi away, I released my grip to send him against the wall as he choked and gasped for air. Knowing I could kill him sent a rush through me that egged my already tense muscles to grab him again.
“What t
he fuck is wrong with you, Luciano?” The anger that laced Sylvi’s voice was nothing compared to the raging maelstrom that swirled in my chest. Glaring he straightened to rub his frail neck as I stalked the room in a hard pace. “I told you keeping her was a bad idea. Do you want m-”
“What are you going to do, Sylvi? Huh? What? You gunna shoot me? You haven’t shot anyone but your stupid fucking whores in years. You can’t even pull out your gun before I snap your fucking neck. Don’t you dare fucking threaten me!” My pacing quickened in the need to move, to do something, anything, to avoid killing Sylvi. In a tiny, weak part of my brain, I knew it was a bad idea, but knowing didn’t silence me. “You’re a piece of shit, and if you don’t shut the fuck up, you’re a dead piece of shit.”
A snort flew from my chest when Sylvi stayed quiet, but his glare didn’t die down. Tossing my head, I ground my teeth together as our stalemate came to an end. My brother adjusted his collar, tugging on his suit jacket, and his breathing finally evened out.
“You need to set yourself straight, Luciano. Is that why you didn’t bring that girl? Because she was afraid of you?” Stiffening, I clenched my hands into tight fists and ignored the sting of my knuckles. “You think that she’s with you because she wants to be? You keep her locked in a room, Luciano! Even my whores get better treatment than you give her. Why shouldn’t she be afraid of you?”
My throat tightened at the accusation, and I hissed as Sylvi straightened. The fire in his eyes flared- a window into his soul that was steadily gaining courage. Taking a threatening step forward, he shook his head hard with a growl.
“You can’t talk shit about what I do when you’re holding a girl hostage, constantly interrogating her because you think the Russians want her for some reason. At least my whores get to laugh, even if their comfort is a set up.” Thick, heavy breaths flowed in and out of my lungs, forcing my chest to heave. Sylvi’s gaze bit at mine with sharp, invisible fangs, and his words wrapped around me to squeeze tightly. Clenching and releasing my fists, my fingers became sticky with blood that flowed from my knuckles.
But he’s right… I was going to abandon Aya for being afraid when she had every reason to be. Goosebumps washed my chest, and cold dread raised the hairs that coated my arms. Tearing my gaze off Sylvi, I stared at the shower stall through narrowed eyes. There was nothing but a drain and a shower head to mark the spot, but my memory filled in the missing wall.
Aya had only touched me after I had nearly broken her neck. Fuck- the only time she even said my name was after she’d nearly frozen to death and woken up on top of me. Growling at the memory, I started to pace again even as I sensed Sylvi take steps of his own.
“You need to consider letting her go, mio fratello. Ha bisogno di qualcuno che non la farà male.” Sylvi’s perfect, crisp Italian rang in my ears like the death tolls of church bells. Aya needed someone that wouldn’t hurt her.
Hurt her was all I did. The countless times she’d jumped when I entered her room filled my head. Every whimper beat against my ear drums; each shiver that passed from her to me when I held her strafed my muscles.
For the first time in my life guilt began to eat away at my gut, and my face twisted in disgust. Not for Aya for making me feel this way, but at myself. She wasn’t delusional. I am…
The walls started to close in on me, and my legs took wide strides toward the door with no direction from my brain. Splinters dug into my palms from the force I used to open the door. A resounding bang echoed down the hall, but it was lost in the hard, painful bet of my heart.
Blinking hard, I found myself in front of my car with no memory of how I’d gotten there. Digging my keys out of my basketball shorts pocket, I ripped open the door as the haze finally started to clear.
If Aya was afraid of me, it was my own fault, a voice in my head hissed with disdain. Let her go, whispered another as I jostled into the driver’s seat- she deserves that much.
Time moved too fast for me to follow, and I sped home well over 80 miles an hour. Blowing past red lights and narrowly avoiding other cars, my tire tracks painted the asphalt and angry beeping rose above the hoods of cars.
“Aya!” Bursting into Sylvi’s dark, quiet abode, my stomps were heavy but the only sound I could hear. There wasn’t a single light on, but I moved with ease of practice towards the stairs as panic began to well inside me.
“Aya!” My roar reverberated through the house and sweat beaded down my neck and back. An uncomfortable heat clawed at me as I took the stairs two at a time. Aya should’ve heard me and would’ve appeared.
But her room was stark and sweltering when I beat down the door. Her empty bed was made, and for a moment I couldn’t do anything but stare at it.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
AYA
Panting hard, my throat burned and my lips cracked from how chapped they were. My bare feet slapped against the pavement, and I only slowed to gasp for air. The sun had set, casting the streets in shadows as hopelessness crept up from the bowels of my being. Looking around wildly, my eyes widened as I struggled to figure out where I was.
This city was too big, too winding, but the pads of my feet still scraped against the pavement. Stumbling over a crack in the sidewalk, I flailed automatically only to lose sensations in my fingertips.
My heart beat too fast, too hard, and blood couldn’t flow properly.
“Oh no- no- no- no!” I’m lost… The urge to scream was overwhelming, and my vision blurred as I stared down at my shaking hands. In the quiet darkness of the city, my cries were loud and echoing. Turning my gaze to the huge buildings, I spun in frenzied circles trying to recognize anything.
Anything that would lead me to Luciano’s little, one room apartment.
Carrying me deeper into the city, my feet ached, and sweat trickled down the nape of my neck. Each street I turned to looked just like the last, and panic squeezed my lungs.
The orange door. My wide eyes nearly boggled from their sockets as I stared across the small, full parking lot. The energy seeped from my body, and I fell to my knees in relief. Light streamed from the clouded windows, my own personal opening of the Heavens. A hymn floated down from the glass panes that had been flipped open, the grunts, groans, and smacks of punches being thrown.
Tears streamed down my face, and shivers raked down my spine as I stared at the door. Under a faded, yellow light bulb it was the most glorious thing I’d ever seen.
Stumbling towards the familiar hunk of metal, I struggled to breathe through the tightening of my throat. With each successful step the corners of my lips picked up higher until I finally wrapped my hands around the handle. Grunting with the effort it took my weakened body to push open the door, I squeezed my eyelids shut. A blast of heat wrapped around me, threatening to scorch my face as it dried the thick layers of sweat that coated my skin.
Slowly I blinked, my muscles going rigid in preparation for what I’d see. Panting harshly, I trembled under the weight of a dozen pairs of eyes before falling back onto my butt. A hysteric giggle bubbled up from my throat, and I couldn’t control the harsh laughter that replaced my breaths.
“What the fuck…?”
I couldn’t breathe, my laughter growing in intensity until it was nothing more than noiseless wheezing. The confused murmurs that reached me became white static in the background of my mind, and I clutched my chest. Rocking back and forth, tears of relief, of happiness, trailed down my face to dangle off my chin.
“Shit- she’s gunna suffocate herself… Sarah! Sarah- get some alcohol! What the fuck happened to your feet?” Dylan’s voice cut through my raging emotions, and I gasped for air to fill my starving lungs. Hard, unfamiliar hands ran down my legs, lifting my feet up off the floor and sending me onto my back. “Fuck- Aya, what the Hell… did you run here all by yourself?”
“L- Luc-ciano-o…” Rasping, my weak voice scraped against the back of my throat. Staring at the ceiling, the beams were so high I couldn’t see them through my haze of tears.
; “Tell me what happened. Where’s Luciano, Aya?” I didn’t answer; I couldn’t bring myself to speak and stop my heaving, desperate breaths. “Shit… Just relax. I’m going to pour this on your feet- it’s gunna hurt.”
“He’s not answering his cell phone, Dylan.” Blinking hard, my tears fell towards my ears before Sarah came into view. Her hands gently pushed away hair that stuck to my forehead, and for once I was glad to see her. Frown lines added to the light wrinkles on her face, concern raining down from her brown eyes.
“Keep calling until he answers, baby.” Pulling the phone up to her ear, Sarah pursed her lips and thumbed my cheek. “It’s the adrenaline- she probably can’t feel much. That’s good.”
“Aya, honey, where’s Luciano? Why are you alone?” My eyelids popped when Sarah said my name, her worry bleeding into her voice. For a moment I stared, trying to process her questions over the swell of fog that settled heavily on me.
“D- don’t trust Sylvi… don’t trust Sylvi… No- no-” Shaking my head, I struggled to keep my eyes open. Running for so long made me numb, and I watched through blurring vision as Sarah hit a button on the phone before returning it to her ear.
“Hey- hey… sh-h… stay awake. Stay awake so you can talk to Luciano when he picks up, Aya.” A hiccup jerked my chest, and I whimpered weakly while Sarah repeated her action a third time. The past few hours seemed to catch up to me- first the car ride, then the boutique, and Sylvi’s traitorous whispers. Running; I had run too hard, too far.
But it was going to pay off. Now, I could get to Luciano. We could go to a place where Sylvi couldn’t reach us.
“Luciano! Oh my God- you need to get to the gym right now! Aya- she ran all the way here. Her feet are mang-” Shooting up, my fingers scratched Sarah’s hand heavily before wrenching the phone away from her. Luciano’s gruff, hoarse voice boomed through the receiver, and my throat clogged with tears. Staring at the device as it shook from my trembling palm, I couldn’t hold my sobs back; I had no energy.
