“Thank you child. I have to go now. I just wanted to come see those babies and say goodbye.”
“Goodbye?”
She watched as granny began walking effortlessly backwards toward the door, almost as if she was floating on air. Holding out her hand, she said, “Please granny don’t go. Sam or Declan will take you home if it gets too late. Stay with me.”
“I wish I could but I can’t child. I must go. Remember, you became a very important part of my life. In my last days you were such a wonderful blessing. You and Declan take care of one another and always remember love will pull you through anything.”
“I will granny.”
“Promise.’
“I promise.”
Granny disappeared as Makeba continued to plead with her to stay.
~*~
Makeba’s eyelids fluttered until she was able to keep them open, finally coming down off of the anesthesia. The nurse walked into her room with a big smile spread across her lips.
“Hello Mrs. Whitaker. I’m glad you’re finally awake. Your husband and your mom will be back shortly. They went to get coffee. My name is Tracie Younger, I’ll be taking care of you tonight.”
“Hello Tracie.”
“It’s really late now but I know you haven’t seen your babies as of yet. I’ll have the babies' nurse bring them in for a little while.”
A smile spread across her lips. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Looking towards the door, she smiled upon seeing Declan and her mother enter.
“Well, look who’s awake.”
“Hey mom.”
“Hi sweetheart,” she replied rushing over to her side and kissing her on the forehead.
“Hello, my beautiful wife.”
“I don’t know about beautiful but I am definitely your wife.”
They chuckled.
“Where’s Sam? Tell him I said thank you for bringing granny by earlier. I begged her to stay but she said she had to go. I hope he brings her back in the morning.”
Declan and Mrs. Jones glanced at each other inquisitively. Noticing the visual exchange between them Makeba asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing honey,” said Mrs. Jones. Nothing at all.”
“Are you sure? Your faces are telling a different story.”
“Sweetheart, everything is fine,” Declan replied.
“Well, I want to speak with her first thing in the morning. You know, she named the twins?”
Before he could respond the nurse walked in rolling two cribs. Declan lifted his daughter holding her close to his chest while the nurse held the other baby gently placing him in Makeba’s arms.
“Hello Jillian. It’s good to finally meet you.” She played with her tiny little fingers. Declan moved closer to the bed so she could see the other baby. Bending down, she rubbed his hands and kissed him on the cheek. “And hello to you too Jacob. I hear you’ve met your great grandmother tonight. She smiled teary-eyed. “Isn’t she wonderful?”
Tears filled her mother’s eyes. It tore at her heartstrings to know that Makeba will never get to see granny again. “Makeba baby, maybe you should let the nurse take the babies back so you can rest. They’ll bring them back bright and early in the morning. I’ll come early too so we can feed them together if you don’t mind.”
“I’d love that mommy.”
Mrs. Jones took the baby from her arms and laid her down in the crib. Declan gently lowered the other baby down as well. The nurse said goodnight and rolled the babies out the room back to the nursery. Makeba laid her head back against the pillows as she grimaced at the soreness of her abdomen. C-sections were no joke. With every movement was pain. She glanced at Declan and smiled.
“Can you guys drop by and pick up granny on your way here?”
Again, Declan and his mother-in-law eyed one another. This time Makeba wasn’t buying the reasons for their looks, she wanted answers, honest answers. “Ok you two, what is going on?”
Declan approached her bed grabbing her hands in his. “Honey I can’t bring her to you in the morning.”
She looked at her mother who was now standing a few feet away from the bed with tears in her eyes. Upon seeing this, panic set in. She knew something was horribly wrong. “Mom, what is it?”
Tears began to stream down her cheeks and she hadn’t even heard what was wrong yet. Closing her eyes, she placed her hands on her abdomen to keep it steady as she cried. The slightest movement was painful. Turning to Declan she asked, “Why can’t you bring her here?”
As bad as he wanted to change the subject, to tell her anything but the truth, he couldn’t bring himself to lie to her especially not about this. Taking a deep breath he said, “Makeba, granny died.”
Pulling her hands away, she turned toward her mother as she let out a nervous chuckle. “There’s no way she’s dead. I just saw granny not too long before I woke up in this room. I saw her as clear as day.”
“Makeba, maybe you were dreaming.”
Becoming agitated, she tried to sit up. He rushed to her side trying to help her but she pushed him away.
“Makeba, baby please lie back. You don’t want your stitches to come apart. Lie back sweetheart,” said Mrs. Jones helping her daughter to lower herself back down onto the pillows.
Breathing heavy and refusing to look at her husband, she glanced at her mom through questioning eyes. The look almost broke Mrs. Jones down. She hadn’t seen such sorrow filled eyes since her daughter was a young girl. “Baby, I wish I could tell you something different but I can’t. She’s gone honey.”
Shaking her head vigorously from one side to the other, Makeba yelled, “No,” over and over again.
“Yes sweetheart.”
As if right on cue Sam entered the room wondering what all the commotion was about. “What’s happening in here?”
Confident that Sam would be able to bring her better news, she got excited. “Sam, I saw granny and they don’t believe me.” She turned to her husband once more. “She was here Declan. She said she saw the babies. She called them Jillian and Jacob,” she sobbed.
Immediately Declan and Sam glanced at one another, shocked by what they had just heard.
“How is that possible? I saw her clear as day. She made me promise we’d take care of one another. She also told me that I was a blessing to her.”
All of a sudden, she stopped speaking as she looked around the room at everyone. The appearance of granny came to mind. Recalling the vision of her was nothing like seeing Declan, Sam or her mom. Granny was surrounded by beautiful white light. She looked peaceful and the happiest she had ever seen her. Makeba cupped her hands over her mouth and screamed. She didn’t care about the pain in her stomach because the aching in her heart was much more severe.
Declan didn’t know what to do. He’d seen her happy, upset, disappointed and hurt but this, this was far more devastating than any reaction he had ever seen from her. The pain she’d endure at the loss of granny was not surprising to them but knowledge of that could not prepare them for the gut wrenching scream she let out once she realized granny was indeed gone. It was a loud bone-chilling wail. He wanted to comfort her so bad but thought he’d be rejected. Her mother ran towards her but her screams only got louder the closer she came to her bedside. Sam took a few steps towards the bed but was stopped before he could get to her when Nurse Younger ran into the room asking what happened. They explained that there was a death in the family and they had just revealed it to her. Angry that they would do such a thing when she had just delivered two babies by C-section, she voiced her disapproval of their actions. Trying to calm her patient down was a task she was not prepared for. She needed reinforcements. Pressing the nurse call button on the wall, she requested assistance in room 422. Immediately, two additional nurses came to assist. Declan, Sam, and Mrs. Jones were asked to leave the room. They stood outside the door as nurses entered, exited and entered again. After a while they didn’t hear so much as a sigh from Makeba. The other two nurs
es returned to their duties while Nurse Younger remained behind doing a last minute check of her vitals. Thinking it was ok to re-enter, they entered her room but before they could get all the way in she approached them ushering every one of them back out into the hall.
“We had to give her something to calm her down. I think its best that you guys leave and let her get some rest. Come back in the morning.”
They agreed and left.
The following morning Makeba was awakened by the doctors doing their rounds. Lying in bed listening to them discuss her case annoyed her like hell. A few hours of sleep had done nothing for easing her pain. Perhaps there was one thing that would, no two things, two precious little bundles of joy. A sudden urge to hold her babies close consumed her. Just as she was about to ring for the nurse, she walked in. Since it was past the start of the shift, Nurse Younger was no longer on duty. Her replacement was a younger African American nurse who introduced herself as Kierra.
Kierra was tall, thin, complexion like dark chocolate with short hair, plump lips, and brown eyes. Makeba was instantly taken in by her carefree spirit the moment she bounced into the room.
“How are you feeling Mrs. Whitaker?”
“Not so well but I’m glad all those doctors are gone. I just want to be alone.”
She sighed as she checked the IV in her arm. “Honey, you have to get up and walk around today.”
Makeba glared at Kierra. “Do you know how sore I am?”
“I do but you have to get out of that bed. The sooner you start moving around the quicker you’ll start the healing process. Besides, we don’t want you sitting up in her getting pneumonia or anything like that.”
“No.” She shook her head from one side to the other. “I’m not getting up today. I can’t.”
“I’m here to help you hon.”
“What part of ‘I can’t’ don’t you understand?” she yelled.
Kierra looked at her with a sympathetic smile. “Mrs. Whitaker, I know you’re hurting physically and emotionally. I heard about the loss in your family, but my mama always told me in everything good or bad there’s a blessing. The blessing here is, even though there was a loss of life, there were two lives born through you. You brought two beautiful children into the world. Let’s go and see them. I guarantee you the moment you lay eyes on your angels you will feel a lot better.”
Makeba’s heart softened. Kierra had a point, seeing her babies would make her feel better and although granny Whitaker’s spirit left this world two lives were born into it and she needed them just as much as they needed her. Dream or not, she was glad that granny Whitaker got to see and name them before her spirit actually departed. No matter what anyone tried to convince her of, granny was there.
“Ok, I'm ready.”
Kierra looked over her shoulders and smiled. “Good.”
She approached the bed raising the head as far as it would go and lowered the feet the same.
“Ok, what I want you to do is scoot all the way over to the edge of the bed then push yourself up using your legs not your stomach muscles.”
“Oh God I’m so not ready for this.”
Kierra chuckled. “You can do it. I’m here to help you.”
She waited a few minutes. “Ok, I’m ready.”
“Ok now, I’m going to help pull you up but at the same time let you do most of the work and this is only for today. Tomorrow, I expect you to get up out this bed on your own.”
“I think you’re expecting too much too soon.”
“Not at all, Mrs. Whitaker. Now, let’s go,” she said as she extended her arms out for Makeba to hold onto.
Makeba moved to the edge of the bed and turned to place her feet on the floor. Holding onto Kierra’s hand, she moaned as she pushed herself up trying to use her legs only. No matter how much she tried, it was impossible not to use her stomach and it hurt like hell. She was so tender, she didn’t want to move but once she was up it felt a little better.
“Good job Mrs. Whitaker,” said Kierra smiling.
Makeba continued to hold onto Kierra’s arm as they walked out the room down to the nursery. Gazing through the window, she smiled as tears from mixed emotions ran down her face. Witnessing the tears, Kierra rubbed her back in an effort to comfort her.
“You have two beautiful babies.”
“Yes I do. Thank you Kierra.”
“Yes, they’re amazing.”
Kierra and Makeba looked to the side. It was Shelly. Makeba stood there in shock.
“Well, don’t be so surprised. I have two beautiful grandchildren. You did good,” she smiled as she leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.
Makeba was speechless. Who was this stranger standing next to her? Is this Shelly, her mother-in-law, the same mother-in-law who despised her, who thought her son married beneath him, the mother-in-law who refused to attend her wedding? Had she been hit over the head and got amnesia? So many thoughts were running through her mind.
“I’ll take it from here,” Shelly said to Kierra as she grabbed Makeba’s arm and held it tightly under hers. After a few minutes she was ready to go back to the room and lie down. Amazingly, Shelly was more than happy to escort her. As they trotted back, Shelly began to speak and what she said almost knocked Makeba off her feet.
“Makeba, I would like to apologize for the way I’ve treated you. It was unfair and wrong of me to pre-judge you without getting to know you for myself. You are a good woman and you love my son. I would like it very much if you give me a chance to make things right between us. Can we start over?”
Makeba came to an abrupt stop. She was dumbfounded. Was she hearing her correctly? Closing her eyes, she meditated momentarily on Shelly’s words while pondering whether she was seeing things again. She opened them slowly. Yes, it was Shelly, she thought. After all that had been done and all that she had said, she had the audacity to ask if they can start over. She wanted to ask her if she had lost her mind but thought better of it. Regardless of what had happened between them, she was still her husband’s mother, and if she denied her request and held on to the grudge, that would make her no better than Shelly. She was twice the woman Shelly would ever be. If for no other reason she’d consider it for Declan’s sake. As hard as she tried to tell her so, her lips parted but no words came out. She was still in shock.
After a few seconds had passed Makeba eyed her suspiciously. “Why the change of heart all of a sudden?” She asked as they resumed their stride.
“I can recall when I was introduced to Sarah. She didn’t like me very much. That was clear from the moment she laid eyes on me. Yet, she put her feelings aside and supported her son in his decision to date me, eventually making me his wife.”
Silence.
“I so envied the relationship you had with her. We never were that close and I have no one but myself to blame for that. When Michael and I married I didn’t give her much reason to. I challenged her every chance I got. I was his wife and I felt as though I was the one with the most authority. Not such a good idea. After Michael had died, I calmed down and tried desperately to build a loving relationship with her but it didn’t happen. I had burned my bridges to the point where our relationship could not be mended.”
Arriving at the room, she helped Makeba back into bed then pulled the covers over her. Makeba continued to listen as Shelly spoke. It was as if she was in a confessional or something.
“I have two beautiful grandbabies and it would be a blow to my heart if I was prevented from having a relationship with them.”
There it is. That’s it. She had just exposed her motive. The only reason she wants a fresh start is because she thinks she won’t be allowed in her grandchildren’s lives. Makeba rolled her eyes in disgust. She grimaced in pain as she grabbed the nurse call button remote and raised the head of her bed.
“Listen Shelly, I have no intention of keeping you from the children. I would never deprive my children of a healthy relationship with their grandmother regardless of what has happe
ned between us, so if that’s why you’re here pouring your heart out and asking for a new start, please don’t.”
“On the contrary dear. I’m sincere in my apology and I mean every word.”
Makeba bit lightly on her bottom lip glaring at her with a look of distrust and disbelief and Shelly saw it in her eyes.
“Give me a chance to make things right. I think Declan would appreciate both our efforts.”
“I’m sure he will.”
Makeba adjusted herself in a more comfortable position and drifted off to sleep.
IN ANOTHER LIFE TIME
Squinting from the bright sun, she gazed out over the horizon as she stood on the deck reminiscing about her encounters with granny. A tearful smile spread across her lips. Ten days ago she was ecstatic about granny seeing her great grandchildren and in an instant her excitement turned to loss and pain. It was difficult for her to comprehend why she had to experience a birth and death all in the same night. The birthdays of her babies would always be bittersweet. Feeling like a cruel joke had been played on her, she silently asked God why? Why did she have to experience such joy and deep pain in the same day. As she hung her head low, she closed her eyes trying to fight off the overwhelming emotions that threatened to envelope her.
Feeling strong arms embrace her from behind gave her a sense of security. It was assurance that it was ok to release all the emotions and all the tears she stifled over the past few days. Sobbing while holding tight to the banister of the deck, Declan gripped her tighter turning her around and pulling her into his chest. He wished he could take her pain away but he couldn’t. No one could. His pain was just as great as Makeba’s, but he knew he had to hold it together and be strong. Since she was released from the hospital, he tried convincing her to stay home, stating that attending granny’s funeral would not only be an emotional strain but a physical one as well. His efforts angered her and understandably so. She refused to stay home as he knew she would. He was concerned about her, especially since she only returned from the hospital two days ago. It was apparent that she was still tender from the C-section but what could he do? He couldn’t chain her to the bed to keep her from attending. If he could, he wouldn’t anyway because he knew the closeness his grandmother and his wife shared. Never had he witnessed Granny so taken by anyone. The very moment he brought Makeba home, they connected instantly, like magnets.
Until My Heart Stops Beating Page 27
