by Jody Holford
“This would actually be a pretty easy doll to make. I could do that and then you’d have two, but would you still fight over this one?” Kate asked.
Beth and Grace stared at each other a moment and Elliot smiled at their ability to communicate without talking. Kate looked over their heads and grinned, and a spark of desire burst through him so unexpectedly it stole his breath.
“We’d share them both and wouldn’t fight,” Beth said.
Kate nodded. “Okay. I’ll make you another.”
Elliot didn’t know what made him happier, or more surprised, that she understood why they needed one each or that she was willing to take the time to do something so sweet for his girls.
As they unpacked Christmas ornaments, ribbons, and other tree trimmings, Kate told the girls stories of her family’s holidays. The girls spent more time playing with the mini nativity set they’d found than they did helping with the tree. While he and Kate worked together to string lights, Elliot settled into a quiet kind of contentment he wasn’t familiar with.
He plugged the lights into the power bar. “How was the family reunion?”
Kate shrugged. It didn’t suit her. She was usually confident and sure where her family was concerned, but at the moment, she looked more lost in thought than he’d been.
“Everyone was there and I thought, wow, they all got together for brunch to welcome me home.” Elliot waited, but she stared intently at a shiny cylindrical-shaped ornament she held. “That’s nice,” he said.
Her eyes met his for only a second before she busied herself with hanging the decoration. “Except it turns out that Char, Luke, and their girls are actually staying with my parents. They were doing a kitchen remodel and some pipes burst.”
“Right. I think Alex said something about that. I forgot. Still, I’m sure they were all happy to be there when you got home.”
Beth and Grace curled up on the couch with a couple of books they found in one of the bins. Elliot smiled over at them before returning his focus to Kate.
“Yeah. It was nice, but not what I expected. I just felt…out of the loop, you know? It made me think of how hard I was on Lucy when she came home a couple years ago and tried to just jump back into all of our lives. I gave her a hard time and now I’m in the same spot.” She gave a sad laugh that made Elliot’s chest ache. “Only with nowhere to stay.”
Elliot froze in the act of picking up a weird looking Santa ornament. “What?”
“Char’s family is using up the rooms at my parents’ place and they had to move a bunch of their stuff so they’re storing it at Lucy and Alex’s.” She shrugged again.
Elliot hung the Santa at the back of the tree where it would dance in the window. He walked around to stand beside her. “You can crash here,” he said.
She looked up at him and his heart pinched again at the melancholy he saw in the depth of her eyes. “That’s sweet, but I need a place to live, not crash. I mean, I didn’t want to stay with my parents anyway. But I thought I would for a few days at least.”
Her smile came back like it had never been hiding and she patted his chest with one hand, right over his heart.
“Don’t worry. After a couple nights on my parents’ couch, I need a real bed. I’ve got some friends I can stay with. That’s the good thing about coming home, right?”
She turned back to the decorations lying on the table and picked up another. Kate looked over at the girls. “You girls going to help us?”
Beth yawned and Grace snuggled into the corner of the couch. “In a minute,” Beth said. Gracie’s eyes were half closed. Elliot knew he’d be carrying them both to bed.
With the hum of Christmas music setting the tone, Kate and Elliot finished decorating the tree using a combination of his ornaments and ones from her family. It was peaceful and Elliot realized he’d never felt the sense of calm with another woman that he did in Kate’s presence. Growing up, his parents had been anything but calm and the holidays were no different than any other day. Doing something so traditional with Kate, to whom such activities clearly mattered, made it feel almost sentimental. He enjoyed being with her. The girls liked, no, they loved her the way kids do so freely. And she needed a place to stay. He watched her as they worked, trying not to be obvious about looking at her and probably failing if the number of times she scrunched her face quizzically at him was anything to go by.
He told himself that his attraction wouldn’t get in the way of the idea he was about to bring up. In fact, if she said yes, it would put her firmly in the “no fly” zone. Kate tucked away the ornaments they didn’t use, setting the lid on the container and snapping it closed. Elliot turned just as she stretched, her shirt riding up enough that he could see the smooth skin of her stomach. His fingers actually tingled—itched—with the desire to touch her and that was not the only part of his body she stirred.
Don’t do it. It was probably a bad idea all around. But it was also one that would solve both of their pressing problems. And bring up a ton of others.
The girls had fallen asleep, and Kate was watching them wistfully. Elliot stepped closer to her and wondered if he’d imagined the tremor that went through her body when he came near.
“Stay,” he said. Idiot. Fucking idiot. Alex is going to kick your ass.
Kate frowned. “What?”
Taking her hand, he pulled her through his now-very-festive living room and into the kitchen. She didn’t pull her hand away, even when he turned her so they were facing. His chest was too crowded with emotions he couldn’t name to remember to let it go. So he held tight, their fingers linking.
“I need someone to watch the girls. You need a place to live. If you stay, it fixes both of those things,” he said.
Out loud, the idea didn’t sound half as crazy as it felt. Maybe that was because, logistically, it was a good idea. Emotionally and physically, it might turn him inside out.
“Elliot, what are you talking about? You want me to babysit your kids?”
Her tone was just shy of insulted and he pulled his hand from hers and took a step away. When he turned back, she had one dark eyebrow arched. God, the woman had a killer face. It sucked him in, made his suggestion seem the height of stupid. He wanted to trace the curve of her jaw with his fingers and let his lips follow the path. He squeezed his eyes shut for a second; just a second to pull himself together.
“Okay. Listen, I was looking at the cost of care for the girls. It’s crazy. But I can’t give up my job, obviously. I work different shifts, which doesn’t match up with regular daycare hours, even if what we need is mostly after-school care. You have things you want to do that don’t require a nine-to-five position, right?”
Kate leaned against the counter, her eyebrows and the rest of her more relaxed. “Okay. That’s true.”
She hadn’t said no. He kept going. “You can do what you need to do around my hours. I’ll pay you to care for the girls and you’ll have a place to live. I won’t have to worry when I have night shifts or early morning shifts and you won’t have to worry about finding a place.”
Pacing his kitchen, he realized the idea was solid. Daycare was expensive. He was worried about finding a place where the girls could go at the crack of dawn and stay through the night. He had a hard enough time leaving them with their mother. Leaving them with a stranger could weigh him down so heavily, he might be distracted at work. Elliot wanted the girls and he wanted them full time. He was about to fight for them and that meant he had to show he was doing everything he could to give them the best life possible.
“Elliot, are you serious?”
He closed the distance between them. “I am. If you think about it, it’s a really good solution for both of us.”
Kate pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and Elliot’s stomach tightened uncomfortably. He ignored it, mostly. “I can’t let you pay me to watch your kids.”
“Why not?”
Now she paced. “Because they’re your kids. We’re friends. We help each o
ther out.”
“Sure, if I needed you to watch them for a night. But this is different. I have to have someone come here to make it work with my schedule. I want someone I can trust. Someone I like and get along with, who won’t drive me crazy. Someone who cares about the girls and is great with them. I’m going to have to pay to have someone regardless but I don’t want them with just anyone.”
When she went for a third lap of pacing his kitchen, he grabbed her arm and pulled her closer. She looked down to where his hand encircled her wrist. He let go quickly, like he’d touched fire.
“Elliot, this is crazy.”
“Maybe. But tell me what would work out better for both of us.”
Kate’s expression softened and the air in Elliot’s lungs felt stale. She stared at him, and he forgot to breathe. “It’s a bad idea,” she said.
“Kate. It’s a great idea.” Now that he’d said it aloud, he wanted her. No. He wanted her to say yes.
“I don’t know that it could be long term,” she said.
His heart leapt, jumped like a diver from the high board. “Even if it’s temporary, it’ll be better than what they’re used to and give us both a chance to straighten our lives out a little.”
“You do need some straightening out,” she said, poking him in the stomach.
He grabbed her finger, closing his hand around her smaller one. “Who better than one of the Aarons girls to help me get my life organized?”
She did the thing with her lips and teeth again, and Elliot nearly groaned. He would not convince her by drooling over her, and if she was going to live in his house, he’d have to get over the attraction that seemed amplified in the quiet darkness of the kitchen.
“Elliot, on paper, this sounds ideal. But I really don’t know that it’s a good idea.”
His heart screeched to a halt. “Why?”
When her eyes went soft and her body shifted closer, his heart revved up once again. Their combined breaths seemed loud, almost echoing in his ears.
Kate took a deep breath and let it out. “Look at me and tell me you don’t feel the heat between us. The attraction. How long do you think we can ignore that if I’m living in the same house?”
Shit. On one hand, it was good to know he hadn’t been seeing something that wasn’t there—his instincts were still highly intact. She wanted him every bit as much as he wanted her. But they also had bigger goals, more important agendas that could suffer if she said no. She was looking at him now and in her eyes, he saw a reflection of what he felt. The depth of that feeling was a surprise, and damn humbling. But since the day he’d held his girls in his arms for the first time, he’d stopped putting himself first. Kate was on the verge of saying yes and he didn’t want anything to stand in the way. He needed her. They needed her. More than that, he wanted it to be her. Wanted her to be someone who touched his girls’ lives.
Looking Kate straight in the eyes, he did something he hated. He lied.
“Kate, I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. Shit. I feel like a jackass now,” he said. It physically hurt, like being struck with an open palm, to look at her while he said the words.
“What?” She stepped back.
“We’re friends, that’s all. I’m really, truly sorry if I’ve made you think otherwise. And of course I understand if you can’t do this because, well, because you feel…differently for me.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, his stomach turning in on itself.
Kate’s eyes widened and she gave a high-pitched, short laugh. “What? No. It’s not uncomfortable. Of course we’re friends. Wow. Don’t apologize,” she said, her words coming fast. “I don’t even know why I said that. I don’t…I don’t have feelings for you and of course, I didn’t think you had them for me. God. I’m such an idiot. I’m so sorry. Well. At least my face is now the right shade to blend in with your Christmas decorations.”
Fuck. He hated himself. “I didn’t mean to make this awkward.”
She shook her head too fast. “No. You didn’t. This is…you know what? It’s an excellent idea. You’re absolutely right. We are friends. Nothing more. I adore your girls and I like you. As a friend. I need money, you need a nanny.”
“Kate.”
She shook her head again and when she spoke, her words were tight, like a noose wrapping around his heart. “Elliot, I would love to work for you. I can’t promise a long-term commitment, but you’re right. For now, it is a perfect solution for both of us.”
They stared at each other, both digesting the words. Electric energy hummed between them, more powerful because he knew, as a man and a cop, that she was as full of it as he was. He stepped forward and held out his hand.
“You’re hired.”
Kate looked down at it then slid her palm against his. Fucking electric.
“Perfect. Absolutely perfect, boss.”
Chapter Eight
Kate’s phone shook in her hand. Correction. It was her hand shaking. Because she was a complete idiot. Her breath refused to pull all the way into her lungs and the short, quick bursts of air were nearly as loud as her heartbeat. She typed out a text to her sisters.
Kate: I’ve solved one of life’s most pressing questions. You can both thank me now.
Char: Why men get to pee standing up?
Lucy: Is there really a G-spot?
She knew they’d make her laugh. They’d pull her out from the murky waters of humiliation and tell her she was overreacting.
Kate: You cannot, in fact, die of embarrassment. I tested that theory to the absolute limit and am sad to say that when you reach the threshold of shame, you do not go up in fire or sink into the depths of hell or fall lifeless to the floor.
Char: This ought to be good. Tell us more. Where are you, anyway?
Lucy: Wait, let me get my wine before you give us all the details.
Or maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe they’d just make her feel worse. But the embarrassment was still eating a hole in her stomach so she needed to share it.
Kate: You both suck.
Char: So? Tell us anyway.
Lucy: I’m back. Tell us. And yeah, where are you?
Kate stopped pacing the guest room Elliot had said would be hers and stared at her phone. What was wrong with them? Had no one heard her? More importantly, had no one listened?
Kate: I told you—all of you—I was going to Elliot’s to help with decorating the tree. Thanks for listening. I could be dead somewhere and you wouldn’t even know.
Char: But you already said you didn’t die of embarrassment even though you wanted to. So since you didn’t, tell us what happened?
Lucy: Did you see Elliot shirtless and drool all over yourself?
Kate: Do you want to know or not?
Char: Lucy, knock it off or she won’t tell us.
Lucy: Bossy.
Char: Brat.
Kate: GUYS!
Kate sank into the softness of the double bed as a knock came. She jumped back up, tucked her phone in her pocket, and opened the door. Elliot stood in the threshold.
“Hey.” He rolled in her suitcase, which, ever the gentleman, he’d grabbed for her from the back of her mom’s car. He ran a hand through his dark hair. “You need anything? I just tucked in the girls. I work at six tomorrow.”
Kate shook her head. “Nope. I’m good. Great. Really tired though.” She faked a yawn and Elliot raised one eyebrow in response.
“Okay. You sure you’re okay?”
Smiling so wide her cheeks hurt, Kate nodded. Dammit, stop nodding like a bobble head doll. “I’m good. Really. It’s okay if I take the girls out tomorrow? I’ll need to grab some of my stuff from my parents’ and then I promised them I’d take them shopping.”
Elliot shoved both of his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Kate kept her eyes up, though they really wanted to travel down the length of him. “It’s fine. You really don’t have to do that though. The shopping. We can all go when I get home tomorrow. After dinner.”
“Nope. This is a girls-only trip.”
“Okay.”
She stepped back from the door and he started to turn away. When he turned back, Kate’s breath caught in her throat. Painfully. “Kate?”
“Mmm?”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
She could only nod. Shutting the door, she leaned her forehead against it for a moment, then pulled out her phone again. Several texts popped up from her sisters.
Lucy: Sorry.
Char: Sorry, honey. Go ahead.
Lucy: Where are you? We said sorry! Come back.
Char: Come on. Don’t be like that…come back.
Lucy: Kate Marie Aarons!
Kate: Stop it! I was talking to Elliot for a minute. He offered me a perfect solution to my no-job, no-place-to-live issue.
Char: Oh, Kate, I feel terrible. Honestly, we can get the kids to bunk with us in Lucy’s old room, you take yours.
Lucy: Let her finish.
Kate: It’s okay. I now have both a job and a place to live. I’m going to be a live-in nanny for Beth and Grace.
Lucy: Okay….
Char: You’re going to be a babysitter?
Lucy: Char. Bitchy.
Kate had said the same. She had a degree in social work and had just finished an internship at a top New York fashion house. She’d even won the coveted best intern award six months ago. And now, she was lying back on a paisley print duvet in the house of a man she more than lusted after, waiting for the shame to fade far enough into the back of her mind that she could just find the whole thing funny.
