Instead, I completely lost my mind the minute I touched her smooth skin and almost blacked out during sex because it had been too long.
I left marks on her hips.
I didn’t warn her.
I didn’t kiss her.
I just wanted. So I took.
Monster.
I’d proven one thing.
I was worthy of the same death sentence that hung over every one of my cousins’ heads.
“Shit!” I slammed my fist into my pillow again and again. Not satisfied, I grabbed my knife and ripped into it. Feathers went flying in a puff of white.
“Sex usually calms you down.” Serena’s voice interrupted my rage-filled tantrum.
I looked up and blinked. She was stunning, always so stunning it hurt to look right at her. “How the hell did you get in?”
“Magic.” She sighed. “Oh, and also, I picked the lock.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I can’t, not right now, Serena. I can’t fight, I don’t want to talk to you, so unless you’re here to suck my dick, leave.”
“Ah, there it is.” Serena’s smile was sad. I needed her to go before I hurt her. Before I destroyed what was left between us with my anger. “The Junior Nicolasi charm. Is this the part where you push me away to make me angry, so you don’t get hurt? Or am I supposed to be into it and just get on my hands and knees? Should I be wearing more clothes or less?” She looked down at her tank and shorts.
I fell back against my bed and groaned. “Why don’t you ever listen?”
“Because I know you.” I could feel her walking toward my bed, and then she was crawling onto it through the mess of white feathers. “And I know that you need me right now, and I don’t care how painful, how terrible, how much—I’m here because that’s what friends do and no matter what happens between us, you have always been and always will be, my best friend.” A tear slid down her cheek and dripped onto my stomach as she waited for me to say something.
A thousand words and sentences filled my head, romantic ones, promises, vows, but all I kept thinking was how damn pretty she was and how I didn’t deserve her would never deserve her. I could imagine only one happy ending to this scenario, to us being together, and it was my own death.
And I knew… it would be worth it.
To have her.
To own her.
To love her.
Even if it meant I had her for a few days, or maybe if we were lucky, I’d get her for a few weeks.
Serena Abandonato was my suicide mission.
And my heart couldn’t help but beat… yes.
Nothing good would come of this, but maybe in the end, at least the bosses would understand that we had to cling to the good, so the bad didn’t destroy us, and she was everything good in my life.
This time. I wasn’t letting go.
This time I’d sign my own death contract.
This time, it would be on my terms.
“Love you.” I squeezed my eyes shut because it hurt to look at her. “For as long as we both shall live.”
And in what felt like a holy moment, Serena Abandonato, my first and only love, bent over and pressed a kiss to my forehead and then moved to her feet. Slowly, she pulled every stitch of clothing off her body until she was naked, and then she whispered, “Take whatever you need because I’ve always, only ever been. Yours.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Serena
It was either the stupidest thing I’d ever done or the bravest. I held my breath when he said he loved me, and then I froze.
I wasn’t sure what he needed.
I wasn’t sure if talking would help.
But something in Junior’s face darkened as his eyes slowly roamed over me, his expression was anything but calm as his hooded gaze locked on my breasts and then drifted lower.
The covers on his bed were pulled back to his hips, revealing such godlike beauty that my chest ached.
Muscles strained around his midsection as he put his hands behind his head and watched, waited, looking ready to pounce.
“Junior?” I took a step toward him, unsure of what he actually wanted me to do now that I was naked in front of him, now that we were doing this… wait, were we doing this?
Confusion must have marred my expression because he finally spoke. “Do you remember your sixteenth birthday?”
Searing heat flooded my face. “Yeah, I cornered you in the hall and asked for my present early.”
His smile was dark, wicked, as he moved to a sitting position and reached out his hand, brushing my right breast with the back of his knuckles, it was so brief and yet I felt an electric current shock me with each touch. “And what did I give you?”
I gulped. My eyes darting to his mouth and then lower as I took in his naked torso and then looked toward his lap.
I squeezed my eyes shut as a shiver wracked my body. “You finally gave me what I’d been begging for.”
“What was that?” He said on a growl. “What were you begging for?”
Slowly I lowered myself to the mattress. It sunk under my weight, sending our bodies sliding toward one another. “You gave me you.”
“What part of me?” His hand moved to my shoulder as he slowly pulled me down over his body.
I straddled his waist and moved my hips. He was completely naked underneath the sheets. I could feel him pulsing against my ass as he watched me, waited for me to tell him.
“You said I could suck your dick, and then you said happy birthday like a complete asshole as if I should say thank you for your present.” I remembered the day well. I’d been so pissed, so embarrassed, that I’d slapped him across the face then punched him in the gut. “I shoved you against the wall, which only seemed to encourage more laughter on your end—and then I kissed you.”
“You kissed me.” He repeated. “So fucking hard that my teeth hurt for two days.”
I smacked him on the chest. He caught my hand and brought my fingertips to his mouth and then slowly took my hand and brought it lower until I was touching between my thighs, dripping wet, ready for him to do something other than travel down memory lane.
I let out a hoarse cry when he made me touch myself, and then he brought my hand back up and licked my fingertips. “I got off so many times on that day, alone in my room, just thinking about that kiss, how aggressive it was, how much more I wanted it to be.”
I wiggled against him.
He winced and then slowly flipped me onto my back, hovering over me. “And what happened later that day, Serena?”
I let out a shaky breath. “You caught me.”
“Caught you.” He pinned my wrists above my head and rocked his naked hips against me. “Doing what?”
So good. He felt so hot it almost hurt.
My cheeks heated. “Thinking about you… wondering how it would be if we could finally…” I bit my lower lip. “I was touching myself.”
“Mmm,” He teased my entrance a bit. “Tell me, do you regret it? That day? That night? Those years? Knowing who I was. Who I am. Knowing we would only ever have this?”
“Never,” I vowed. “The only thing I regret is that we have to pretend we don’t—”
“Don’t what?”
I bit the bullet. “We have to pretend that we hate each other because it’s the only thing as extreme as our love.”
He surged into me. “Right answer.”
“Was it a question?” My head fell back against the pillows as he kissed the side of my neck.
“No,” he said between kisses. “I just want to make sure there are no regrets, no matter what. Just promise me you’ll remember this forever. That Serena Abandonato was the most tempting poison, and that I, Junior Nicolasi…” His lips lingered against mine for a heart-stopping moment as he deepened the kiss, then murmured against the corner of my mouth, “…drank.”
“Junior…” I clung to his back as he deepened his thrusts. “You’re scaring me.”
“Have me now.” He pressed a
painfully slow kiss to my mouth. “Remember me forever, okay?”
“Okay.” Tears filled my eyes as I clung to him. “Love you as long as we both shall live?”
He gulped and then. “As long as we both shall live.”
“You didn’t say you loved me.” I tried teasing, even though my body was already on the brink of exploding as he moved inside me.
“Yeah, I did.” He finally smiled. “With every fight, every shove, every insult, I told you I loved you, and with my body right now—I fucking worship you.”
I dug my nails into his back as he slammed into me, causing the headboard to hit the wall.
“Don’t stop, don’t stop!” I scrambled to hang on to his muscled body as he loved me, as he showed me forever.
And when I felt his release inside me, I hooked my ankles around his body, keeping him pinned where I needed him.
Because the thought of him letting go, was the most terrifying thing I could possibly imagine, and part of me wondered why it seemed like he was saying goodbye when we’d finally decided to be together again.
While we were still connected, he looked down at me, his aqua eyes flashing as he whispered, “You will always be worth it, Serena. Always.”
He kissed my forehead and muttered a curse as we both stared at one another, panting.
“What happens now?” I asked.
“Well, my princess just said I could have her any way I want. What do you think happens now?”
I grinned. “We might need some red bull.”
“Speak for yourself.” He slapped my ass on the side. “I have over a year of pent-up sexual aggression to get out.”
“It was only one time!” I blurted.
He frowned. “What was?”
“It was one guy, and it was one time, and it was horrible, and I only did it to make you mad and—”
He devoured my next words. “Promise me?”
“It’s always been you, always.” I kissed him deeper, harder, warred with his tongue as he tried to dominate the kiss, his fingers digging into my hips.
He pulled back, out of breath. “Never thought I’d see the day the ruthless princess surrendered to the dragon.”
“Dragon?” I smirked. “Nah, the ruthless princess just surrendered to her King.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Junior
I wanted nothing more than to pull Serena into my arms and sleep in since it was a Saturday, but the last thing we needed was to get caught before this even really got started because believe me, there were things I was going to do to her that would keep her body humming for hours.
My body ached as I moved to a sitting position and then leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She moaned in her sleep, then blindly reached for me, brushing up against my dick.
“That’s not your phone, Serena,” I whispered.
“No.” She yawned. “My phone’s bigger.”
I tackled her onto her back while she burst out laughing. “Take it back…” I slid my hands down her sides and tickled her sensitive skin.
“Never!” Her laugh was so damn carefree my heart cracked in its darkness, wishing that I could keep that laugh, this version of her forever, hating that we all had a role to play, masks to wear.
A knock sounded on my door.
Thank God it was locked.
“Junior!” Nixon barked. “If Serena finds out you brought another whore home, she’s going to chop off your balls, cook them into your favorite dish, and feed them to you.”
“Yeah, Junior.” Serena murmured with a smirk. “I’m gonna grab these—” She reached for my dick, but I kept her pinned. “What? Afraid I might have a sharp object?”
“You’re nothing but sharp objects,” I whispered. “But don’t worry, I’m into it.”
“Yeah, you are.” Her eyes zeroed in on my mouth.
“Junior!” Nixon yelled again. “I’m serious, let the skank out the back and get ready for breakfast. We need to talk anyway.”
“Sorry, Nixon, right on it.” Actually, I was right on her.
I flipped off the door and pressed a heated kiss to her mouth before peeling myself away from her naked skin, and then walking toward the bathroom.
I heard Serena jogging behind me, felt the slap on my ass, then burst out laughing as I chased her into the shower.
“Mmm…” She rubbed soap up and down her body. “You need some?”
“Nah,” I gripped her breasts and squeezed lightly, then massaged up and down her stomach, using the slickness of the body wash to roam all over her nakedness.
Her breath hitched when I pulled us under the water and captured her mouth into a watery kiss that starved us of oxygen.
She clung to me, her arms wrapped around my neck, her hair sticking to my chin as our foreheads touched.
“Are you sore?” I asked softly.
“Even if I was…” She reached for me and stroked. “…do you really think I’d say no to having you any way I can?”
I cursed as she lifted her right leg and then hooked it around my hip, heaving herself up against my body as I pressed her against the wall, thrusting into her beneath the hot water, covering her would-be moans with my mouth. She was slippery everywhere, I dug into her ass harder, angling her down onto me. It always felt like a holy experience, being with her, maybe it was because she was it for me.
My soul mate.
My everything.
The other half of my dark, twisted heart.
She gripped my head with her hands and licked a trail of water down my neck as her thighs tightened around me. She was close; I could feel it in the way she met me thrust for thrust, the way her eyes flashed wild even though she tried to pretend she was calm.
“You with me?” I rasped.
She gave me a jerky nod. “Always with you.”
I might have filled her then, but I could have sworn her body was healing me as we both found our release and stared at each other.
“I’m never letting you go. You know that, right?” I slowly pulled back and let her slide down my body.
She turned around and gave me her back as I jerked her against me. Her breasts teased my forearm. “I think I would die if you did.”
We were quiet through the rest of the shower, though I did get my ass grabbed at least a dozen more times before I made it back to my room and changed.
I wasn’t sure what Nixon wanted, but the last thing I needed was to look like I just fucked his daughter.
The only problem? When I looked in the mirror, I looked way too excited to be headed to breakfast.
My saving grace was that Ash had landed a few good blows causing my cheek and my right eye to bruise.
Add that to the cuts on my knuckles, and I could fake it that I was sore, I could make it look like I was depressed as hell.
All I had to focus on was the fact that one of my best friends was hurting and that my love for my other best friend would one day kill me.
Happiness. Gone.
I jerked open the door to the guest room, and when a shadowy figure pushed off the wall, out of instinct, I reached for my gun in the back of my jeans.
Nixon frowned. “Are you going to shoot me?”
“Depends. Are you going to scare the shit out of me all the time?”
He looked over my shoulder. “Where’s the girl?”
I shot him a smug grin and patted him on the shoulder. “We all have our secrets, Nixon, right?”
His eyes narrowed. “I heard her.”
“Yeah, I did too.” I started walking down the hall. “Allll night long.”
“Really?” Nixon scowled. “Where do you find these girls?”
“Eh, you’d be surprised…” I shoved my gun in the back of my pants again. “Some may say they just fall right into my bed, no questions asked.”
“Who falls into his bed?” Breaker asked from the kitchen, holding a glass of orange juice in one hand and bacon in the other.
“Some girl.” Nixon sighed. “She sn
uck out already, though. According to Romeo over here.” He jabbed a hand in my direction.
Breaker choked into his orange juice and then rasped, “Yeah, bet she did, because that’s so easy to do in this house, sneak in and out, right Junior?”
I flipped him off, knowing exactly where he was going with that, and I was still pissed at him, which meant I owed him one. “Hey, Nixon, did you know Breaker had his tongue down Serena’s throat last night for three-point-two seconds?”
“BETRAYER!” Breaker threw his bacon at me. “After all I do for you!”
“WHAT?” Nixon roared.
Breaker ran to the other side of the table and held up his hands.
“You did what!”
“I was teasing her!” Breaker argued. “Plus, Junior’s just trying to—”
“Why is everyone yelling?” Serena waltzed into the kitchen, leaned up on her tiptoes, and kissed her dad on the cheek.
His anger disappeared as he pulled her in for a hug. “Nothing, just don’t let Breaker’s dirty mouth anywhere near yours.”
“Ew, he tasted like gin.”
“See!” Breaker really needed to stop talking. “If I were actually meaning to kiss her, I’d drink whiskey. You know she likes the taste better, right Junior?”
I glared. “How the hell would I know where Serena puts her mouth?”
Serena started charging toward me.
Here we go, back to the hate. I waited for her to punch me in the face.
Instead, she grabbed a fork and held it dangerously close to my cock. “What was that Junior?”
I grinned. Did she have to be so damn pretty? Her eyes were wild, outlined in black, her lipstick was pale, her blond hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, and she was wearing the tightest black jeans I’d ever seen, not to mention a tank top that showed a bare midriff. “Nixon, don’t you think she should put a sweater on or something?”
Her eyes widened even more as she lowered the fork.
Nixon sighed. “Serena, don’t castrate him. We may need him later. And he’s right, put on a cardigan or something.”
“Fuck!” Ash’s voice sounded from somewhere in the room. “Could you guys please keep it down? I’m trying to die in peace!”
I saw a flash of color; he was in the living room lying on the couch with an empty bottle in one hand as he stared up at the ceiling.
Ruthless Princess Page 19
