by Reese Ryan
“‘I’m so sorry, Nate, I just can’t do this’ isn’t a discussion, Kendra.” The veins in his neck corded as he repeated her words that night verbatim. “You’ve shut me down anytime I’ve tried to have a real conversation about that night. If you want me to trust you, start by being honest about what happened between us.”
“This isn’t productive.” She shivered beneath his cold stare. “Discussing my proposed PR plan is.”
“If Marcus says you can do the job, I trust his judgment. What I need is to know I can trust you. So for once, be honest with me about why you walked out. Why you waited until I asked you to marry me and you were pregnant with my son to decide I wasn’t the right man for you.”
Her heart clenched at the bitterness that laced his words. It took her back to that night. The night she’d made the biggest mistake of her life.
“I underestimated how difficult it was to be the wife of a pro athlete.”
“I’d been with the Marauders for a year by then. How would your life have been any different?”
“There’s a huge difference between being the live-in girlfriend and being the wife and mother of your children.”
“A marriage license is just a piece of paper, Kendra. Other than having it and my last name, nothing would’ve changed.”
She tipped her chin, determined to keep her emotions in check. “It isn’t a meaningless piece of paper. It’s a lifelong commitment. That means something to me.”
Nate snorted. “If it means so much to you, why’d you turn it down when I offered it?”
“I couldn’t be one of those football wives who doesn’t have a life of her own and pretends not to know what happens on the road.”
His expression morphed from anger to hurt again. “So it was about that girl who let herself into my room in Cleveland. I told you, I didn’t know her, and nothing happened between us. When I discovered her in my room, I called security and they sent her ass packing. End of story. I called you right away and told you about it. I wasn’t trying to hide anything.”
“The sports channels picked up the story. I would’ve heard about it.”
Nate ran a hand through his close-cropped curls and heaved a sigh. “So that’s what you think of me? That the minute I’m out of sight I can’t keep it in my pants? News flash, Kendra, if I’d wanted to be with someone else, I would’ve been. Football groupies have been throwing themselves at me since high school. I didn’t want them. I wanted you. I loved you. You obviously didn’t feel the same.”
“That isn’t true.” The accusation hit her like a bullet to the chest, piercing her heart and severing arteries. Nate was the only man she’d ever loved. She loved him still, but their time was past, and it was all her fault. “I’m a realist. You’re only human. A man can only take so much temptation.”
“If you felt that way, you should’ve come to me. We could’ve worked things out.”
“How, Nate? You weren’t going to leave the team, and I’d never ask you to give up your dream.” She hadn’t meant to stress the word.
Nate shifted in his seat, lowering his gaze. He hadn’t missed the implication. She’d supported his dream, but he hadn’t supported hers. He took another sip of his beer. “I never gave you any reason to doubt me.”
“It was my issue, not yours. I fully own that.”
“Just to be clear, you blew up our relationship, our family, because you thought I might eventually cheat on you?”
“It isn’t as simple as that.” She poked at the flounder she no longer had an appetite for. “My fears are very real, and I have them for good reason. That’s my problem, not yours.”
Nate laughed bitterly. “It sure as hell felt like my problem when you turned down my proposal in a roomful of our family and friends.”
She cringed, remembering the moment he dropped to one knee and presented her with a beautiful, custom diamond engagement ring. The memory of that moment was as vivid now as it was then. Euphoric joy immediately followed by debilitating fear and a panic attack that stole her breath.
Chest heaving and the room spinning, she had only one clear thought—she couldn’t marry Nate.
Until that moment, she’d anticipated the day he’d propose and dreamed of an intimate wedding ceremony on the beach. Then Nate asked her to marry him and the room went black.
Visions of ruthless groupies who’d do anything to get with a ballplayer filled her head. Her own father hadn’t been faithful to her mother. How could she expect Nate to do so with so much temptation?
She’d broken it off, packed her things and made the long drive back to Pleasure Cove. Weeks later, she discovered she was pregnant with Kai.
“You didn’t deserve that. I should’ve told you how I’d been feeling, but—”
“You didn’t trust me enough to have an honest discussion then. Give me one reason I should trust you now.” The ache reflected in his dark eyes penetrated her skin more than the bone-chilling air outside had.
Kendra choked back the thickness in her throat. “Because I’m the same girl who cheered you on at every game from peewee to the pros. The one who wouldn’t let you give up on your dream when you weren’t drafted.”
Nate’s expression softened, but he didn’t respond.
Encouraged, Kendra continued. “We were so young then, Nate. I handled my feelings poorly. But I’ve never been anything but supportive of your career, and I’ve proven that I’m willing to go to bat for you. Who was it that convinced those arena football teams to give you a shot? Who sent your arena highlight clips to pro teams until the Marauders invited you to try out?”
“You.” He rubbed his chin. “I owe my entire career to you.”
“Our relationship may have ended, but my support of your career hasn’t. No consultant will fight for your career harder than I will. Deep down, I think you know that.”
Nate kneaded the back of his neck. “Okay, fine.”
“Really?”
“Just until we secure my new contract.”
Her buzz was quickly doused—like a too-short candlewick. The muscles of her face strained to maintain her smile. “Of course.”
“We’ll make it a six-month contract. You’ll be well paid and Marcus will give you references, contacts...anything you need to rebrand your business. All right?”
“It’s a generous offer, thank you. I accept.”
* * *
“All right then.” Nate inhaled Kendra’s sweet scent: a gentle breeze wafting through a summer garden bursting with jasmine and gardenias. He pretended not to notice the disappointment on her face. It tugged at his heart and made him want to promise her the world just to see a genuine smile light those brown eyes. “I’ll call Marcus tonight and have him draw up the contract.”
“Great, I’ll have my lawyer review it and we can go from there.”
“How is your brother doing?” Nate sipped his beer, amused by how formally Kendra referred to her brother, Dashon, a contract law attorney.
Kendra shrugged. “He’s still Dash. Being himself and doing his own thing.”
“New York must be treating him well. I hear he rarely returns to Pleasure Cove.” Nate carved into his prime rib covered with a creamy mushroom and lobster sauce—one of Nadine’s specialties.
Kendra’s mouth twisted. He’d obviously touched a nerve. He wouldn’t pry further. They didn’t need to be best friends. Just have a personable working relationship. “He comes home about as often as Quincy.”
Touché. His globe-trotting younger brother was quickly making a name for himself as a photographer. His shadow rarely darkened the Johnston family’s doorstep.
Nate contemplated the quiet look of concern that furrowed Kendra’s brows. “Did I say something wrong?”
She stopped pushing the food around her plate and put down her fork. “N
o, but there’s something we need to address, so I’m just going to say it.”
He put down his utensils and sat back warily. “I’m listening.”
“What happened between us in Memphis—”
“Which time?” Nate couldn’t help the smirk that tightened his mouth when he remembered how an argument between them had descended into hot, angry sex on two different occasions.
“Both.” Kendra clearly wasn’t amused. Nor did she seem to have the same fond memories of those occasions. “That can’t happen again.”
“I was hoping it would be one of the amenities you’d throw into the deal.” He held back a grin as he drained the last of his beer.
She pointed one of her painted fingernails at him. “See, that’s what I’m talking about. If this is going to work, you have to take me seriously.”
“Oh, I took what we did very seriously.” He raised an eyebrow and resumed eating his meal.
She let out a frustrated sigh and settled back in her seat. “This is your career we’re talking about here, Nate. I need to maintain my focus, and I can’t stay focused on cleaning up your rep if I’m thinking about...” Her words trailed off and there was a deep flush in her cheeks beneath her smooth brown skin. She shook her head, as if trying to shake off the memories. “Neither of us can afford the distraction.”
“Agreed.” He adjusted in his chair, his own body reacting to the memories. Her scent. Her taste. The sound of her soft pleas. “Though it worries me that my media consultant can’t multitask.”
They dissolved into laughter, and for a moment, it felt like old times. It was the first time either of them seemed relaxed since he’d arrived.
Nate smiled, relishing the sound of her laughter. One of the countless details about her he missed. “Okay, Ms. Media Consultant, where do we begin?”
Chapter 3
“This sounds like a great opportunity.” Maya Alvarez, Kendra’s half sister, sipped her mocha latte as they sat at the breakfast bar in the gorgeous penthouse Maya shared with her fiancé, hotelier Liam Westbrook. “So why aren’t you excited about it?”
Kendra took a sip of the frothy peppermint mocha her sister made for her and let out an appreciative moan. “I am, but what if I’m jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire?”
“It’s a tricky situation. I certainly couldn’t work with the girls’ dad. Not for all the money in the world.” Maya placed a hand on Kendra’s in response to her fallen expression. “But it’s different with you and Nate.”
“How? Carlos walked out on you, just like I walked out on Nate. The only difference was you and Carlos were married.” Kendra drank more of her coffee. “He feels the same way you do. Honestly, I can’t blame him.”
“You’ve maintained an amicable relationship. Friendly enough that you two hooked up.” Maya peered over her coffee cup, her dark eyes dancing with amusement.
“Shut. Up.” Kendra pointed a finger at her giggling sister. “I shouldn’t have told you that. I still can’t believe it happened. Twice.”
“Are we talking instances or the actual amount of times you guys—”
“Stop it, Maya!” Kendra’s face and neck warmed. “Everyone knows you’re not supposed to hold the things your sister says when she’s drunk against her.”
“All right, fine.” Maya was still giggling. “I’m just saying, things can’t be that bad between you. Besides, Nate’s a terrific guy, and we both know you still have feelings for him.”
“Of course I care about him. That doesn’t mean we should be together.” It was too quiet without the children around. Nothing to distract her from a conversation she’d rather not have. Liam had taken them to see the aquariums he’d just had installed at his family’s luxury resort so she and Maya could talk. “Things between us are...complicated.”
“Things were complicated for us, too. Every day I’m grateful Liam recognized that what we have was worth fighting for, despite the complications.” Maya’s face glowed when she spoke of Liam.
Kendra missed that feeling—the infinite joy of being in love with a man who adored her. She ignored the growing sense of envy that felt like a boulder tethered to her ankle, threatening to drown her in a sea of self-pity. She forced a smile. “I’m happy for you. You’re perfect together, and Liam is so good with the kids.”
“Sofie and Ella adore him.”
“So does Kai. He talks about his Uncle Liam all the time. You’d think he was a superhero or something. He’s making the Johnston men jealous.”
“Liam has really taken to Kai, too.” A warm smile lit Maya’s eyes like a candle lighting a paper lantern from within.
No matter how many times Kendra saw that smile—and it was often in the weeks since Liam and Maya had gotten engaged—she couldn’t stop her reaction to it. Intense joy for her sister, followed by deep sorrow for herself.
Maya seemed to recognize her pain. Her brows furrowed with concern. “I’m glad you accepted the offer, but I’m a little worried, too. Are you sure you’re going to be okay with this? Six months is a long time.”
“This is my shot to finally build the kind of clientele I’ve always wanted. I’m not going to blow it. Besides, Nate needs my help. I know it won’t make up for how I hurt him, but at least it’s something.”
“When is your first meeting?”
“Tomorrow, so I’d better get it together.”
Maya’s smile was reassuring. “Everything will be fine, and who knows? Maybe you two will make up.”
“Don’t even go there, and please don’t give Kai false hope about me and his dad getting back together. I don’t think he could bear that. He misses him so much when he’s away during the season. Now that the girls have Liam in their lives, Kai is more aware of his father’s absence.”
“I didn’t realize—”
Kendra squeezed her sister’s forearm. “I’m thankful Liam’s in his life. What he’s feeling now...it would’ve come up eventually. We’ll deal with it. He’ll be fine.”
“Either way, I know this is going to work out for the best. You have to believe that.”
“It has to. If Nate ends up with a West Coast team, Kai will see him even less. He’d be heartbroken.” Kendra’s voice wavered. She sipped her coffee, hoping her sister didn’t notice. “If I can prevent that from happening, I have to at least try.”
Kendra avoided Maya’s gaze and the pity she knew she’d see there. They both turned toward the front door in response to the jangling of keys that signaled Liam and the children’s arrival.
Kai practically jumped into her arms. He was a sweet, affectionate boy. She kissed her son’s forehead, dreading the days when he got older and would think it uncool to give her a big hug and a sloppy kiss.
She took in her handsome, smiling child. Wide, round eyes. Nate’s nose—a narrow bridge with slightly flared nostrils. A wide smile stretched his Cupid’s bow mouth—a near duplicate of hers. His thick ringlets were cut into a frohawk. He was only six, but his long arms and legs indicated he would be tall—like his father.
Kai was the perfect mélange of her and Nate’s features, and he’d inherited an ideal mix of their personalities. He was truly the best of them.
Kendra smiled, warmth spreading through her chest as she choked back tears. Maybe she didn’t get their relationship right, but she would always have the best part of Nate.
For that she was grateful.
Chapter 4
Nate fluffed the pillows on the sofa in his office for the third time, then readjusted the chain on his neck again.
This isn’t a date. It’s business. Be cool.
He eased onto the sofa and drummed his fingers on his knee. Kendra would arrive shortly for their first official meeting.
She and Marcus had met before the ink dried so she could lay out her ideas
and they could come to consensus on a plan. Marcus had thought it was best for him to sit out that meeting.
Fine by him.
He recognized the necessity of jumping through PR hoops. Still, he resented wasting time and money defending himself about truthful comments made in private.
Not that there was any such thing as privacy anymore in the social media age.
A car door slammed. Nate glanced at his watch and smiled. On time, as always. Kendra was right; in many ways, she hadn’t changed. Organized and efficient, she’d never been late for anything.
Nate opened the door before Kendra could ring the bell, startling her. She dropped her leather portfolio, her papers sailing across the porch.
He planned to help her recover them, but froze, mesmerized by the perfectly round shape of her curvy bottom in a narrow black pencil skirt as she bent to retrieve them. Finally shaken from his daze, he stooped to pick up a few sheets that had landed near his feet. He handed them to her, his fingertips grazing her soft skin.
Kendra withdrew her hand, as if she, too, felt the spark of electricity that charged his skin when they touched. She gave him an uneasy smile as she accepted the papers and stuffed them back into the portfolio. “Not the graceful entrance I hoped to make.”
“Also not quite as entertaining as your entrance to the junior prom.” He grinned.
“You did not just go there. You’re never going to forget that, are you?”
He chuckled. “Don’t think anyone in Pleasure Cove ever will. Principal Dansby nearly crapped himself when you came strolling up to the stage in your purple Prince tribute gown with your right butt cheek on display.”
Kendra shuddered, shifting the portfolio to her other arm. Her cheeks glowed red beneath her dark brown skin. “You know the ass-baring feature was completely unintentional. I told my mother wearing panty hose was a bad idea. If I hadn’t been wearing them, my dress couldn’t have gotten tucked into the back of them. I still blame her for the entire fiasco.”
