What did it mean? Why had he tried to kiss her, now, when she’d given up on ever having a relationship with him? And what had stopped him?
The logical, rational part of her mind realized that it was just as well he’d stopped, that there was no sense in starting something that could never go any further. But, oh, the other part of her, the emotional, dreamy side, had wanted that kiss, had wanted to know what it felt like to be held in his arms, even if it was only this one time.
She reached the top of the stairs and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to somehow hold in all the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her.
Could it possibly be that now, when she’d given up all hope and resigned herself to moving on, Ward was finally beginning to take notice of her? If so, what would happen if she decided to stay?
Did she dare find out?
Chapter Thirteen
Ward didn’t bother trying to get any sleep. He cleaned up and then fixed himself a couple of very strong cups of coffee while he pondered the implications of what Tim Hill had witnessed. If the gossip spread, as it almost definitely would, he would do the right and necessary thing to protect Hazel’s reputation.
Marriage. To Hazel. Of course, she’d been hinting for quite some time that she wouldn’t be opposed to such a thing. Which meant she probably wouldn’t have any big objections, other than on general principles over being backed into a corner to do it.
But how did he feel about it? He’d long ago decided that being sheriff would not just be a job to him, it would be both a calling and a way of making amends for the wrong he’d done his sister. He couldn’t make things right with Bethany herself but he could do this thing instead. And dedicating himself to the job of sheriff meant putting it first in his life, second only to God. Which left no room for a family. And he’d been all right with that all these years. In fact, it had felt sort of noble to approach it that way.
But what had happened this morning had changed all that. Just like taking care of Meg when she’d been left in his care had taken precedent over his duty to escort his sister’s body home, making sure Hazel wasn’t ruined by a scandal of his making took precedent over his vow to never marry.
He would just have to make certain she understood that this was a marriage of necessity, that his dedication to his role as sheriff had to come first.
The bigger issue was whether or not he could maintain that kind of discipline himself. His ability to resist Hazel’s unique brand of charm was being sorely tested lately.
Downing the last swallow in his second cup of coffee, Ward carried the cup to the sink and went to wake Meg.
After he’d fed her breakfast, the two of them headed to Dr. Pratt’s place. The physician was Verity Cooper’s uncle and Ward felt certain he would know how to contact her and her husband, which he did. The physician also insisted on tending to the cut on Ward’s forehead while he was there.
Armed with the information from Verity’s uncle, Ward next went to the telegraph office and sent word to Nate Cooper about the break-in.
Walking down the sidewalks of town, he was very conscious of the looks he and Meg were getting from some of the townsfolk they passed along the way. Was it his imagination or was the judgment and speculation he saw reflected in those looks sharper today?
When he reached the dress shop, he saw that Hazel had ignored his suggestion to sleep late and had her shop open already. Was it because she’d had as much trouble sleeping as he had?
Since Hazel was obviously up and about, he left Meg with her, pausing only long enough for the briefest of conversations and a promise to Meg that he would bring Pugs over later.
His next stop was the land office, where Mayor Sanders could normally be found when he wasn’t taking care of town business. After he’d reported on the incident of the night before, Mayor Sanders leaned back in his chair.
“So you didn’t get a good look at them?”
“No. In fact, I only saw one of them, though I did overhear some talk that leads me to believe there were at least two.”
“Do we know if they took anything?”
Ward shook his head. “I won’t know for sure until Nate gets back and does an inventory, but judging from how quickly they were moving when they hightailed it out of there, I doubt they were carrying much with them.”
“Well, there’s that at least.”
Ward resisted the urge to rake his hands through his hair, wanting to maintain an in-control demeanor. “I’ve sent a telegram to Nate to let him know what happened.” He hoped it wouldn’t lead him to cut his family’s travels short. Not only would it be a shame to ruin the last half of their vacation, but Ward certainly didn’t want the Coopers to come home early if it meant hastening Hazel’s departure.
Though he refused to examine his motives for that thought too closely.
The mayor’s expression would have been called grumpy on a less dignified person. “It certainly would have helped settle the frustrations in town if you’d caught the culprit last night.”
Mine included. “I agree. But whoever these scoundrels are, they’re starting to get careless and make mistakes. Letting Miss Andrews hear their break-in was a major error on their part. My gut tells me it won’t be much longer until I’m able to capture them.”
“Let’s hope your gut is right. Folks around here are beginning to lose patience with the amount of time it’s taking you to resolve this matter.”
Ward stood. “So am I.” He had to get control of this situation somehow. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I want to look around at the Coopers’ place to see if I missed anything last night.”
But Mayor Sanders held up a hand. “There’s one other thing I wanted to talk to you about before you leave.”
Ward reluctantly settled back in his seat. He was pretty sure he knew what was coming and it wasn’t going to be pleasant.
“Word of what Tim Hill witnessed this morning is circulating around town.”
That hadn’t taken long. But before he could respond, the mayor gave a quick disclaimer. “Of course, I believe there’s an innocent explanation for what Tim saw, but perceptions can be every bit as damaging to a person’s reputation as the truth.”
Sometimes more so. “Nothing inappropriate happened.” He kept any note of defensiveness from his voice. “Miss Andrews acted above reproach at all times. She was merely watching Meg for me while I investigated the break-in taking place next door to her home.”
One of the mayor’s brows went up. “So Tim was mistaken when he said the two of you seemed to be exchanging more than a polite goodbye?”
At the moment Ward could have happily sentenced all gossips to the deepest, darkest, smelliest dungeon he could find.
But again he managed to keep his voice even as he responded. “I believe what Tim witnessed was Miss Andrews expressing her concern over my injury and trying to staunch the bleeding.” He touched the bandage Dr. Pratt had applied to his forehead. “It’s unfortunate if he interpreted our actions as anything more than that.”
But the guilt gnawing at his gut reminded him it could have—and almost had—turned into so much more. And that it was his fault it had gone as far as it had.
“Unfortunate or not, there are those who find the mere idea of her having been in your home, especially at that hour, to be highly indiscreet at best. And as sheriff, you have a responsibility to remain above reproach.” The mayor spread his hands. “I’m only telling you this as your friend, you understand, so you can be aware of what is being said.”
“Then, as my friend,” Ward said stiffly as he stood, “I would appreciate it if you would set the record straight whenever you overhear someone trying to spread such damaging untruths.”
With that, Ward left, his jaw set and his steps firm. He didn’t look either left or right, not trusting what others m
ight see in his eyes if they stopped to greet him.
Ten minutes later, he was standing in the middle of Cooper’s Saddle, Tack & Supply, taking a deep breath and trying to let his personal problems go while he concentrated on his job.
Surveying the disarray, it was hard to tell if anything was actually missing, but the intruders had certainly done a lot of damage.
The glass front on the counter was smashed, everything that had hung from pegs on the wall was now scattered on the floor, a number of boxes of brads, rivets and miscellaneous hardware had been emptied and the contents flung about. This was damage for damage’s sake, pure and simple. The Coopers would have quite a mess waiting for them when they returned.
“Oh my.”
Ward turned at the softly uttered exclamation to see Hazel and Meg had entered the shop behind him.
“What are you doing here?” The question came out sharper than he’d intended but she seemed not to notice.
“I wanted to see the damage for myself.” She shook he head, her expression stunned. “Nate and Verity don’t deserve this.”
“No, they don’t. But as far as I can tell, neither did any of the others who were victims of our malicious intruder.”
She seemed to pull herself together and met his gaze with her usual spirit. “Once you’re done with whatever official sheriff business you have in here, I’d like to do some cleaning up.”
Hazel never ceased to surprise him with her big heart and optimistic outlook. “That’s kind of you.”
Hazel waved away his compliment. “Verity would do the same for me. And I don’t want them to come home to—” she motioned with her hands “—this.”
“Well, I see no reason to keep you from it.” Then he gave her a stern look. “I just don’t want to find you here after dark.” He rubbed his chin. “If you come across something that you think doesn’t belong or discover something missing that you think should be here, let me know.”
Hazel glanced toward the door that hid the stairs. “Do you know if they intruded on the living quarters?”
Ward shook his head. “That door is still locked and doesn’t look like it’s been tampered with.”
“Well, that’s a relief at least.” Hazel smiled down at her companion. “Meg, sweetheart, would you like to help me clean up this place for my friend?”
Meg looked around, her eyes wide. Then she gave Hazel a game half-smile. “I’ll try.”
Hazel embraced her in a quick hug. “Thank you. Do you know that the people who live here have a little girl not much older than you?”
“They do?”
“Uh-huh. Her name is Joy. And they also have a little dog, not much bigger than Pugs, whose name is Beans.”
Meg giggled. “Beans. That’s a funny name.”
Ward watched the interaction between the two of them, feeling almost like an outsider looking in. And he realized he very much wanted to be on the inside, to be a part of their self-made family. But he needed to quit entertaining such thoughts.
Should he tell Hazel about the gossip spreading around town? Or let her enjoy this untainted moment while she could?
Much as he’d prefer to wait, Ward knew it would be better if she heard about it from him first so she wouldn’t be caught off guard hearing it from someone else.
He picked up a large can and handed it to Meg. “Half-pint, why don’t you gather up those buckles over there and put them in this container.” It would keep her busy away from the broken glass while he talked to Hazel.
He drew Hazel a little distance away. “I wanted to make you aware that there is a bit of talk circulating around town today. Talk regarding me and you.”
“Oh.” Her gaze searched his expression, her demeanor turning sober. “I suppose you mean gossip of some sort.”
He nodded grimly. “It appears Tim exaggerated a bit when recounting what he saw in front of my place this morning.”
The pink rose up her throat and into her cheeks, and her smile took on a forced quality. He hated that he was the one responsible for her discomfort.
“I see,” she said, tilting her chin up. Then she flashed a not-quite-believable smile. “Well, if we ignore it and go about our business as usual, I’m certain the talk will die down soon enough.”
He certainly hoped she was right. “I just wanted to make sure you’re prepared for the unwanted attention that’s likely to come our way over this.”
“Thank you.” She placed a hand against his chest. “It’s why you were trying to rush me off this morning, wasn’t it? I’m sorry I put you in this spot.”
The warmth seeping from her palm through the thin barrier of his shirt was almost painfully sweet. He took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You’ve nothing to apologize for.”
She met his gaze for a long second, her eyes wide and searching. Did she feel that same sense of connection, of wanting more, that he did?
Then Meg dropped something and shattered the tenuous link.
Hazel broke eye contact and spun around. “If that’s all, Meg and I have some cleaning to attend to.”
“Hazel.” He waited until she met his gaze again. “I want you to know that, if this becomes an issue, I’m prepared to do the right thing.”
He saw the blood drain from her face. And then suddenly there was a flash of fire in her eyes.
“The right thing,” she said, enunciating each word clearly, “would be to go on with our lives as usual. Now, I’m sure you have some business to attend to while Meg and I get to work in here.”
And with that she again turned from him and went to work picking up the shards of broken glass.
Knowing he’d been dismissed, Ward took a minute to give Meg a quick goodbye hug, then headed for the door. He hadn’t been surprised by her reaction, had actually expected it.
She wanted to pretend this would all go away if she just ignored it, wanted to believe that her innocence would protect her. But that wasn’t how gossip and speculation worked. Which she would likely discover before the day was over.
Which only left them with one option.
Marriage.
Whether Hazel liked it or not.
Chapter Fourteen
Hazel heard Ward make his exit and was finally able to take a deep breath. Surely Ward was overreacting. After all, they hadn’t actually done anything wrong or even questionable. Folks could think what they will, but if she and Ward held their heads up and didn’t flinch, folks would lose interest eventually and move on to some other bit of news. Especially if the culprit who was responsible for this mess struck again.
Not that she wanted that to happen, she told herself quickly. Just some other really attention-getting something for people to focus on.
Maybe Tensy would announce her engagement soon.
She scratched her finger on a piece of broken glass and quickly lifted the digit to her mouth, fighting an unaccountable urge to cry. There had been a moment, when he’d taken her hand, when she thought he was going to say something sweet and tender. Then he’d spoiled it all with his noble assertions to do right by her.
This was all just too unbearable. She was being tested, that had to be it. Yes, she’d long dreamed of a life married to Ward. Yes, she’d most assuredly find joy in helping him raise Meg to be the wonderful person she could become.
But she’d put aside those dreams, was trying to focus on a new vision of her future. And now this—Ward’s offer to do the right thing. Even if she wasn’t leaving Turnabout, that wasn’t the kind of marriage she’d envisioned. Nor was it one she wanted anything to do with.
If that was all he had to offer her, it was just as well she wouldn’t be here much longer.
Dearest Lord, I know I’ve come to You many times in the past, asking for some kind of miracle that would make Ward w
ant to marry me, but I never meant for it to happen like this. So if those are my choices, then I’ll take New York and whatever awaits me there.
But, as always, Your will be done. Amen.
* * *
Hazel had been on edge ever since that disastrous conversation with Ward at the saddlery shop. When he’d come by to escort her and Meg to lunch, he hadn’t brought the subject up again as she’d expected. It wasn’t so much that she wanted to discuss it again, it was more that she felt Ward had more to say on the subject and she just wanted to get it over and done with.
The walk to and from the restaurant had been uncomfortable—she imagined every person they passed or came in contact with was staring and passing judgment. Ward seemed outwardly composed and kept up a running conversation with Meg. But Hazel knew him well enough to know that he felt the censure as well. He’d also given her a see-what-I-mean look at one point.
If only Verity were here. She sorely missed having her best friend and confidant only a few steps from her front door whenever she needed to talk.
Shortly after she placed Meg down for her nap, on a pallet set up expressly for that purpose in the workroom, Eunice Ortolon and Eula Fay Sanders walked into the dress shop. The two women were the self-appointed town conscience. Both wore identical thin-lipped, self-righteous expressions, which was never a good sign for whomever they were focused on.
Unfortunately, it looked as if she was that lucky person today.
Putting on her best shopkeeper smile and positioning herself behind the counter, Hazel greeted them. “Good afternoon, ladies. Is there something I can do for you today?”
“We’ve come to speak to you.” Eunice was apparently going to be the spokesperson today. “We feel it is our Christian duty to discuss a matter of extreme importance with you.”
“Oh?” Thank goodness Meg was sleeping. She wasn’t certain the child’s presence would have deterred them.
“There has been some rather upsetting talk circulating about town this morning,” Eunice continued. “Talk of a rather indelicate nature, if you know what we mean?”
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