by V. L. Locey
Lila reached up to pat her hair. “Well, after careful consideration of many factors, I have come to the conclusion that I would be willing to try living in Cayuga.”
“Yes!” I shouted as I shot to my feet.
The other diners looked at me oddly.
“She just said she’d move in with me,” I told the packed dining room.
Several tables applauded. I sat down wearing a huge grin. Lila was hiding her face behind a hand.
“I promise you, I will make Cayuga the best and happiest thing that ever happened to you, Lila. You too, kid.”
“Whatever,” Langley mumbled while shoving his spoon into a big dollop of whipped cream resting on his banana split. “You did say something about season tickets? I hope they’re behind the bench.”
“Now, Langley, it isn’t nice to guilt others into complying with our wishes,” Lila said softly as she poked at her slice of peach pie. “If Seamus can get us tickets, that’s fine, but perhaps he won’t be able to.”
“Sure he can – he’s like the oldest player in the league, right? They give old people all kinds of stuff, right? Like a discount on groceries on Tuesdays. Shit like that.”
I threw the kid a glower.
“Perhaps we can use Seamus’ senior citizen player discount to buy clothing at the stadium,” my woman chimed in.
“I can see living with you two is going to be a real boon to my confidence.”
“You asked for us,” Lila reminded me with a sassy wink.
“Yeah, yeah, I did ask for you.” She offered me her hand and I took it and gave it a gentle squeeze. “And man, am I glad I got you.”
As much as I’d enjoyed waking up with Lila daily, I have to admit that pulling into the Rader on a brisk Tuesday morning to see the Cougars charter bus waiting made me an even happier man. I handed off my personal bag to a trainer, then jogged into the warm and cozy atmosphere of twenty-some hockey players. They shouted my name in unison. I gave the knuckleheads a nod, then spied Augie waving his hand over his head as if he were trying to taxi a jet onto the top of an aircraft carrier. He was in the second row back from the driver and had saved me a seat. Didn’t the goof know that rookies sat in the back and not vets? Bet he didn’t know about how rookies had to clean the bus after we departed, either.
I gave the guys a shoulder shrug and flopped into my seat next to August. Travelling, for me, required some good music. Thankfully, we were only heading to Binghamton for an overnighter. It made me even happier to know that within twelve hours, I’d be face to face with Danielson, the dickhat who’d made me piss pink for a week. Men talked all around me. I dug into the pocket of my jacket and removed my phone and a set of ear buds. After I settled in, I looked over to see Augie smiling at me like some sort of bona fide idiot. The kid looked as if he was having trouble sitting still.
“I ever tell you that you remind me of a beagle I had when I was a kid?” I asked, and Augie shook his head, his brown eyes glowing with excitement. “Well, you do. He had that same bouncy ‘OH MY GOD I’M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU!’ attitude when someone sat down beside him.”
“I’m really glad you’re back! I have something to show you when we get to the hotel. I think you’ll like it. How was your suspension? I bet it sucked, but on the other hand, you got to be with Lila. How was that? I put in for us to room together. I hope that’s cool? I packed my console and a few games. We won our first two games. Did you see that? Yeah, I bet you did. It was pretty awesome! I did kind of okay, you know, but wow did the defense step up in front of me. You do anything exciting down in Scranton? What do you think our chances of beating Binghamton are? They’re tough but their power play is crummy.”
I stared at him.
He drew in a huge breath and stared back at me.
“You just said more in fifteen seconds then you have in all the time I’ve known you. Did your verbal dam break or what?”
“Must be I had a lot to tell you.”
“It’s cool, Augie, I just didn’t want you to faint and fall face-first into my lap.” I chuckled at the blush creeping into his cheeks.
The door to the bus closed and we pulled away from home ice. It took our goalie about thirty minutes of constant talking to exhaust all his news. I was beginning to think he was making shit up just to hear himself make noise. Which reminded me of Kalinski, so while Augie prattled on about some con he wanted to go to during the summer, I leaned to the left a bit to try to spy Victor’s flaming head a few rows back.
I found Dan Arou instead, staring at me while wearing a stupid smile. I gave him a confused look. He mouthed something but I couldn’t make out what it was. Assuming it was something meant to knot my kilt, I flipped him off. Dan laughed loud and hard, then sat back in his seat to chitchat with Victor. Augie was now onto video games and his need to find a certain one about souls being dark or some shit. I nodded and made sounds like I cared. Finally he grew quiet. I chanced a peek and saw that he was snoozing with his dark head against the window. I shoved my ear buds in, closed my eyes, and let the roll of the tires and Merle Haggard ease me into sleep.
The trip from Cayuga to Binghamton isn’t a long one – about ninety minutes give or take – so my nap was short. We had some time to kill, so after I was in my room I gave my gal a call. Augie had gone out to see the sights with a couple of the younger guys, and the silence was pleasant. When Lila answered, she informed me that she had been busy talking with Monday to see if she could lure her photographer up to Cayuga in the future. Certainly Lila could find another person to take pictures, but she trusted Monday. She and the woman had met at an LGBTQ rally in Philadelphia several years ago. Monday, Lila, and Monday’s partner Angela had hit it off immediately. When Lila had fully stepped into her new career as an erotic model, she’d given Monday a ring, and they’d been a professional pair for over five years now.
Knowing how important it was to Lila to be with a photographer who strived to make her images as tasteful and erotic as possible, I told my woman I loved her and missed her already, then I hung up and let her attend to her business. After untying my new boots and letting them hit the floor, I crawled into my bed and watched some TV until it was time for the team lunch.
We all met in the hotel restaurant around noon. The spread was always good and nutritious. I filled my plate with a couple of chicken breasts, steamed green beans with almond slivers, and side of fresh coleslaw as well as a couple of wholewheat rolls. Water was my chosen drink. After a week of Lila’s cooking, I needed to get back on track. Sure I had run a few times while down in Scranton, but that wasn’t the same as time spent on the ice. This old body didn’t need extra pounds slowing it down. Mother Nature was taking care of that all on her own.
Dan Arou waved me to his table. We were a little early and so had the place to ourselves for a few minutes.
“How goes it?” I asked as I pulled myself closer to the table.
“Good. How goes it with you and your new not-so-secret admirer?”
I looked up from salting my chicken. Dan had a rather concerned look forming on his face. “What the hell are you talking about? I don’t have a secret admirer.”
“August,” he murmured as a group of hungry Cougars entered the dining room. “You do know that he has a crush on you, right?”
My eyebrows knotted up. “You’re stuck in newlywed la-la land, Arou,” I replied as soon as the absurdity of his comment sank in. “Seeing love all over the place where there isn’t any.”
“I don’t think so. Vic sees it too. The way he follows you around, hangs out at your place, checks out your ass when you’re not looking. He’s as gay as I am and really awful at hiding it.”
Dan dove into his chicken. I sat there with a saltshaker in my hand, stunned into stupidity by this whole conversation.
“I don’t think the kid’s gay,” I blurted out, simply not to sound like a moron.
Dan threw me a glance while chewing. The chicken needed to be cut, so I started hacking it into bite-size bi
ts. It seemed really important to keep what I knew about August’s preferences to myself. The kid didn’t need me gossiping about his homosexuality to one half of the Arou-Kalinski gab duo.
“He’s gay, trust me. I know when men are gay, Mario. Don’t you bi guys have the same sense about it?” He lifted his glass of milk and took a sip, his blue eyes remaining on me as he drank.
I shoved a bite of chicken into my mouth. “Not this one I guess,” I mumbled around the wad of meat in my mouth.
“Well, the kid is gay and he’s got it pretty bad for you. Maybe you should try to feel him out and see if he’s willing to talk to someone about his feelings. I’d be happy to hang out with him if he wants another gay guy to talk to.”
“Um, well, I can toss that out to him, but maybe the kid just needs to come out on his own, you know. If he is gay, which I don’t think he is.”
Wow, that was pitiful. Nice job on obviously covering something up, McGarrity.
“Oh, for sure, I’m not saying nothing about forcing him to admit he’s gay,” Dan was quick to say. He turned in his seat to face me now, his expression a serious one. “We all got to do that when we’re ready.” He looked at the players at the buffet table, then his worried gaze came back to me. “The thing I’m concerned about is that keeping that secret can kill a man, you know?”
“What secret?” Victor asked, appearing behind Dan from out of the ether, it seemed.
Dan jumped a bit when his husband dropped a hand on his shoulder. I tried to swallow my chicken, but it seemed to have gotten bigger and drier. It went down after a few harsh swallows.
“Did I interrupt something personal?” Vic said.
“We’re talking about August,” Dan whispered when Vic slid around him to stand between us.
I looked up at the Pole. He nodded, gave me a stupid look, then sauntered off to get some food.
“He thinks I’m worrying over nothing, but he never hid in that closet, not really. It’s suffocating in there, Mario. If you can, don’t let August get buried in the darkness and moth balls, okay?”
“I’ll do what I can,” I promised my center.
Dan looked relieved and the conversation went off to other things. About five minutes later, Augie arrived, looking like he’d just doused his head in the sink and darted to the dining hall. How the hell the kid didn’t have an entourage of men trailing after him was a mystery. He was tall, cute as hell, had an incredible body, soulful brown eyes, and a smile that would melt the polar ice caps. His sight roamed the room until it landed on me. As soon as he smiled at me, I knew Dan had been right.
“Fuck me,” I mumbled as something much more than friendship lit up our goalie’s eyes. How had I not seen it?
“Told you,” Daniel murmured while forking up some green beans.
“Well shit,” I said. Dan nodded, and then that discussion had to be shelved as Victor had come back and August was now heading our way.
Within minutes, the table was full of hungry men, my new gaming buddy and the team captain among them. Maybe I should ask Lila how to proceed with this situation. She was the classy one between the two of us. If anyone knew how to handle something this touchy with finesse, it would be Lila.
Leaving the team behind, I carried my dessert – a large bowl of chunks of pineapple, cantaloupe, and fresh blueberries – to my room. After I flopped down into a stuffed armchair that sat beside my bed, I took out my phone and dialed Lila. She picked up right off the bat. I ate and told her about this crazy thing with August and didn’t leave out any details. I knew his secret, such as it was now, would be safe with my woman, and I desperately needed to talk about it with someone.
“Seamus, did you really not see it before Daniel broached the subject?”
“No,” I grumbled as I forked up a fat blueberry. “I just thought the kid was looking for a friend. He knows I’m head-over-heels in love with you.”
“The heart wants what the heart wants,” Lila said. I chewed on a berry. “Perhaps he’s simply content to admire you from afar. I do feel for the boy, though. I think you should speak with him about this. I suspect he may have been harboring a tiny spark of attraction for you, which is what spurred him to come out to you in the first place, even though he knew you were spoken for.”
“Speak to him? What the fuck am I supposed to say?” My fruit suddenly didn’t taste as sweet as it should. I put the bowl on the floor and stared at the ceiling, phone held to my ear. “Sorry about the F-bomb, baby.”
“I know you’re upset,” she said, then wiggled the phone a bit. The clack of an earring hitting her phone filled my ear. “Why don’t you tell him that we’re taking our relationship to the next level and moving in together? That may be all he needs to hear to peel the gossamer threads of adoration from his eyes.”
“I still don’t have a clue why the kid would crush on me,” I told her. “I’m about worn out, my nose is crooked, my teeth are more fake than real, and I’m an ill-bred buffoon, to quote Kalinski.”
“He finds you attractive for the same reasons I do, Seamus. You’re a good man who loves fiercely and loyally.”
Her words made me feel nice and warm. “You forgot to say how big my dick is.”
“Well yes, of course, that’s a huge reason I love you as I do.” She laughed softly, and my heart flipped around inside my chest. “I might have been peeking at some houses from a few realtors in Cayuga.”
Okay, that news really made my old ticker speed up. “I can’t wait to come home from the barn and find you waiting for me in our new house. I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”
“I must confess I’m rather bubbly about it myself. I never thought I would ever be making this step. It’s rather scary, yet exhilarating.”
“Yep, it is.” I picked my fruit bowl up from the floor and shoved my fork into a fat wedge of cantaloupe. “I’m going to make you as happy as a bird with a French fry, Lila.”
She laughed out loud at that. I sat there smiling, chewing on fruit, and wondering if life could possibly get any better, August and his misplaced affections aside.
The answer to that came at puck drop that night, and it was a resounding, “Yes, life can get better, Mario!” despite my having chickened out about talking with August. I’d gone to the stadium via cab super early to avoid my roommate. I’d excused my cowardice by telling myself I needed time to work out what I wanted to say. That was what I’d told myself, anyway. In actuality, I’d shoved the entire future confrontation to the side and lounged in our dressing room watching old reruns of Hee Haw on my phone until a busload of Cougars had showed up. Augie had given me a warm smile that made me feel like a huge dick. Why was nothing simple in life? Game time had rolled around none too soon.
I’d had the pleasure of seeing Bryce Danielson skating up to my left when we were about ten minutes into the game with the Broncos. His line and mine had not clicked until just now. I’d known it would happen. He and I would eventually be on the ice at the same time.
My shoulder shouted, “Hey there, asscrack!” when we went into the corner after a puck. I drove the crosschecking fucker so hard into the boards that his mother felt the hit. It was a clean check – I made sure of that. He bounced off the glass and went to his ass. I skated around him, puck on my stick, and tried to tuck the puck around the pipe. The Broncos goalie shoved his skate tight to the pipe to block the wraparound attempt. Arou appeared out of nowhere, as he is known to do, and jumped on the rebound. He flicked it up high over the goalie’s left shoulder. The goal light went off behind the Broncos’ net and I threw my arms around Arou. As we skated off for the customary fist rap down our bench, I saw Danielson glaring at me. I thought about egging him on, but opted just to play hockey and not get another stint in the sin bin or worse.
Things kind of fell apart for the Broncos after that first goal of ours. Maybe they hadn’t expected the Cougars to be any kind of a threat. They had thought wrong. This team had something intangible but powerful brewing just under the
surface. It felt like something good. Like maybe we’d finally found the right ingredients, kind of like Lila’s primavera, and this was going to be our year. If that were the case, then August was the lone bay leaf in the recipe.
Maybe I was just too happy to be back on skates, or perhaps the feeling wasn’t the team at all. Maybe it was my life and how it was now filled with a future family. Who could have known a good woman and a surly teen would make a man so flipping happy? Whatever it was, it was nice. I wanted to hold on to it for as long as possible.
I was just tossing my leg over the boards for a line change when the bay leaf in the crease flipped the hell out. I sat there, one leg on either side of the boards, and watched in shock as August slashed Danielson in the face with his stick. It was a blatant attack that had whistles blowing instantly. Hand to God, if someone had sneezed on me I would have tumbled to the ice.
The home team fans lost their minds. Danielson was helped off the ice by a couple of trainers, his hand over his mouth, blood dripping between his fingers. It appeared that Augie had freed Danielson of some of those annoying teeth of his.
I threw a look at the coaches, who all looked like someone had slapped them in the mug with a dead squid. Everyone on the Cougars bench looked the same. The refs gave August a match penalty for a multitude of reasons such as he left his crease and the severity of Danielson’s injury. I’d been playing hockey since I was old enough to stand on skates, but I had never seen a goalie get a match penalty and be thrown out of the game. Our backup goalie, a strapping kid named Mitch Adams, hustled out to cover the crease. August left the ice with his head held high and his stick bloody. So the spunky little snot was proud of what he’d done. Huh. Color me fucking curious.
We socked another one past the Broncos tendie in the second period and grabbed a fat W with a 2-1 score. The away dressing room was boisterous. The vibe was good and the guys were relaxed. I couldn’t sense any tension at all and that, maybe, was why things were jibing so nicely.
