by Elle Casey
Table of Contents
Title page
Copyright
Other Books by Elle Casey
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter Forty-Eight
Chapter Forty-Nine
Chapter Fifty
Chapter Fifty-One
Chapter Fifty-Two
Chapter Fifty-Three
Chapter Fifty-Four
Chapter Fifty-Five
Chapter Fifty-Six
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Chapter Sixty
Chapter Sixty-One
About the Author
Other Books by Elle Casey
Acknowledgments
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2014 Elle Casey, all rights reserved, worldwide. No part of this ebook may be reproduced, uploaded to the Internet, or copied without author permission.
The author respectfully asks that you please support artistic expression and help promote anti-piracy efforts by purchasing a copy of this ebook only at author-authorized online outlets that serve your country. If you’re viewing this book without having paid for it, you are pirating this creative work.
PIRACY = STEALING
Elle Casey thanks you deeply for your understanding and support.
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OTHER BOOKS BY ELLE CASEY
NEW ADULT ROMANCE
Shine Not Burn
By Degrees
Don’t Make Me Beautiful
Rebel
Hellion
Trouble
YA PARANORMAL ROMANCE
Duality, Volume I (Melancholia)
Duality, Volume II (Euphoria)
YA URBAN FANTASY
War of the Fae: Book 1, The Changelings - FREE!
War of the Fae: Book 2, Call to Arms
War of the Fae: Book 3, Darkness & Light
War of the Fae: Book 4, New World Order
Clash of the Otherworlds: Book 1, After the Fall
Clash of the Otherworlds: Book 2, Between the Realms
Clash of the Otherworlds: Book 3, Portal Guardians
My Vampire Summer
Aces High (co-written with Jason Brant)
YA DYSTOPIAN
Apocalypsis: Book 1, Kahayatle
Apocalypsis: Book 2, Warpaint
Apocalypsis: Book 3, Exodus
Apocalypsis: Book 4, Haven
YA ACTION ADVENTURE
Wrecked
Reckless
DEDICATION
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
Dear Reader,
You have just been rickrolled.
“Never Gonna Give You Up”
Lyrics by Rick Astley
CHAPTER ONE
EVERY BAD THOUGHT I HAVE about myself is confirmed in my mind when I catch Colin looking at me. The expression on his face is just … ugh. I don’t know whether to call it disdain, disapproval or just plain old nausea. I think I literally make him sick to his stomach. Of course there are those times I can tell he’s purposely not looking at me, staring off in another direction when anyone else would acknowledge my presence. I mean, I am kind of hard to miss being almost eight months pregnant, but he manages to treat me like I’m invisible.
“How are you feeling today?” Teagan asks me, coming in from the kitchen, interrupting my daydreams of the guy who lives next door but who thankfully isn’t here right now.
Teagan and I are temporary roommates. To say I’m living with her and her boyfriend Rebel under duress would be an understatement. I cannot stand being a burden to people and that’s definitely what I am to them. They might not say that or admit it when I bring it up, but I know it’s true. I have no money for rent, no money for food, no money for anything. My car’s been repoed, and my family has completely shut me out of their lives for being pregnant and unwed. I have no idea what I’m going to do when the baby comes. I try not to think about it too much. I’m finding solace in denial. So far I have refused to visit the welfare office. Using food stamps is something I never dreamed I’d have to do to survive, but every day I get closer to my due date, it looks more inevitable. The thought literally makes me ill.
“I’m fine,” I say, lying my eyeballs out. My feet are swollen, my belly feels like there are three babies kick-boxing inside it, and I just noticed a stretch mark on one of my thighs. I guess I should be grateful it’s not above my bikini line, but all I can think about is how my youth is now gone and how much the real world sucks. This life is nothing like I had planned for myself.
“Rebel and I are going to sign the lease on the house today. Do you want to come?”
I pretend to be very busy reading so I won’t have to look her in the eye. “No, thanks. I’ll just hang out here.”
Teagan drops down on the couch next to me. “You’re going to grow roots out of your ass if you stay on this couch much longer, you know.”
I can’t keep ignoring her. To do that would be rude, and I can’t afford to be rude to the people who are keeping a roof over my head. And besides, Teagan is a nice person. Sure, her language leans way more into the foul range than mine does and she has her awkward moments where she puts her foot in her mouth in very public ways, but that doesn’t change the basic facts that she’s kind and generous and not one bit stuck-up even though she comes from a lot of money. It says a lot about her character that even after losing her father and all his money in one big event, she still has pretty much the same attitude in life. I wish I could be more like her sometimes.
“I get out,” I say. It’s another lie. I hate leaving the apartment and having people stare at me. It’s just a reminder of how stupid I am and how badly I screwed up my life.
“When?” she challenges. “When do you get out?”
“I got out a couple weeks ago. When I w
ent on that road trip with Quin.” There. That’ll shut her up. We did her a big favor going on that reconnaissance mission and finding that little bit of information her lawyers are busy tracking down now.
“Okay, fine. But that’s one trip outside the apartment in two weeks. It’s not healthy to stay all closed up in here like a mole rat.”
I put my e-reader down. “I’m not a mole rat. I’m just … tired.”
“You’re tired because you’re vegging too much. You need to move those muscles.” She nudges my leg.
I shove her hand away. “No, I’m tired because I’m pregnant.” She’s annoying me now. Pushing me. She does that every once in a while. She’s not as bad as Quin is, but she’s bad enough that I try to keep my nose buried in books so I appear unavailable for conversation.
“No, you’re tired because you’re a cranky butthead who keeps pretending things aren’t going on that are.”
I sigh heavily and stare at the ceiling, trying to keep a handle on my emotions and temper. “I don’t want to talk about this with you right now.” Not now. Not ever. Not with Teagan or anyone else. My business is my business and no one else’s. I’ve never been one for sharing secrets.
“You’re going to have to talk about it some day. If not to me, then someone else.”
“Whatever,” I mumble, picking up my e-reader again. The idea of telling anyone what’s going through my mind terrifies me. I’m hoping if I try to ignore it hard enough, eventually it’ll fade out to a dull roar.
Teagan gets up and leaves the room, and I have to battle not to let out a huge sigh of relief. I know she means well, but I can’t handle the stress of having her in my business and trying to connect with me. She’s one semester away from graduating and getting her degree. She has a hot boyfriend who thinks she walks on water, a best friend who would step in front of a bus for her, and a future so bright she has to wear shades. I have nothing and no one. My grand sparkling future that included a college degree, a prestigious, high-paying job, and a sophisticated husband and children with our shared, unspoiled DNA … is gone. Poof. Just like that, one night combined with one bad decision, and my life did a one-eighty. And now I just have to live with that. Life’s a B-word.
My melancholy thoughts are interrupted when the door to the apartment opens up. My heart leaps up into my throat when I realize who it is.
Colin.
He just stands there, staring at me.
“Can I help you?” I say, my disconcerting emotions and elevated heart rate showing itself in an annoyed tone.
“Is Teagan around?”
“I’m in here!” she says from the kitchen. “Just trying this banana bread recipe I found online.”
“Oh boy,” he says, too quietly for Teagan to hear. I hate that my heart goes even faster at the idea that his comment might have been meant for me.
“She didn’t burn the last one so much,” I say, before I can stop myself. My face goes red at the realization that I just tried to engage him in conversation when I know darn well he’s not interested.
He glances at the kitchen and then at the door behind him, like he’s trapped and looking for exits.
“Come try a piece!” Teagan says. “I’ll put some butter on it for ya.”
His shoulders sink in defeat as he moves farther into the room.
I go back to staring at my e-reader, but I’m not seeing any words there. My eyes are stuck, focusing on my reflection on the screen. It’s like I’m starving for words that only he can deliver and he’s just about fresh out of them. It’s almost painful how much I want to talk to him, while at the same time how much I don’t want to. I really wish I could just be somewhere else entirely so I wouldn’t have to battle with myself so much over something so stupid. He’s just a guy, and a felon at that. Definitely not my type.
I scoff at my own thoughts. As if I have a type. I’m never going to be with another guy ever again, for as long as I live. The price is just too high. I rub my belly as the baby chooses that moment to flip over.
“I can’t stay long,” says Colin, watching me rub my stomach. “I have to go to the grocery store.”
Teagan comes out with two small plates, putting one in front of me on the coffee table and handing one to Colin. She gestures to the small chair next to me. “Here. Sit. Eat.”
She leaves us in the room alone.
I look at the slice of bread with trepidation. I’m over the part of my pregnancy where I have a sensitive stomach, but that doesn’t mean Teagan’s concoctions haven’t challenged me. She has gotten better with her cooking, but better than solid-black burnt still isn’t edible as far as I’m concerned. So far, I’ve been able to hide different bites of food in Rebel’s potted plants, the toilet, and other places, rather than eat them. I don’t have the heart to tell her that her stuff is soooo bad.
“Do we have to eat it?” Colin whispers.
I try not to smile. “Yes.”
“You go first,” he says.
“Nice. Make the pregnant girl be the taste-tester.”
He screws up his mouth. “Fine. But if I keel over, promise me you’ll call nine-one-one.”
There’s no hope of me not smiling now. I can picture him falling over in his chair as he chokes and turns purple. Death by banana bread.
He lifts the bread to his nose and sniffs it. “Smells like bananas.”
“That’s a plus,” I say, still smiling. He really is too cute, especially at times like this when he doesn’t realize he’s being watched. I’m just a fat old pregnant girl with no future; there’s no need for him to pretend to be the dangerous player around me. It makes me feel special, which is really, really pitiful. My smile fades away at the thought.
His tongue comes out and he licks the edge of the bread.
My heart stops beating for a few seconds at the sight of it. Sweat breaks out over my upper lip. I have to look away so I don’t have some sort of apoplectic fit. These pregnancy hormones are seriously messing me up.
“Tastes like bananas,” he says, oblivious to my distress. “I don’t sense anything burned yet.”
I nod, still not looking at him. If I see that tongue again I’m going to have to excuse myself to go to the bathroom so I can splash some cold water on my face.
When I catch movement out of the corner of my eye, I look. He’s taking a bite. I’m breathless waiting for the verdict. I have no idea why.
He chews.
He chews some more.
His expression tells me nothing.
“So?” I ask.
He gestures at me with his plate. “Go ahead.”
I glance once at the kitchen and then at the slice of innocent-looking bread on my plate. “If this is inedible, you’re in big trouble.”
It’s possible that I catch a hint of devilry when I look at him, but the expression is gone so fast I’m not sure if I saw it or not. Just in case, I do the same examination he did.
I smell it. I lick it. Colin looks away at that part. When he’s no longer watching me, I grab the bread off the plate and take a bite of it.
Colin swallows his bite with effort. “What do you think?” He’s smiling, the butthead.
My face twists up as the sourness overwhelms my tastebuds. “Oh my god,” I say in a whisper. “What the fudge?”
Colin is laughing silently now, his shoulders shaking with the effort of remaining quiet.
“Oh my gob. Oh my gob…” I’m searching the room, desperately seeking a container of some sort to hide my bread in. I might be able to swallow this bite, but not the whole thing. No way.
“Here. Give it to me,” Colin says, grabbing my plate. He dashes over to the bathroom and I hear two plops into water and then a flush. He’s back to sitting in the chair, his face a mask of innocence when Teagan comes into the room.
“Wow, you guys finished that up fast.” She’s smiling very big.
I feel incredibly guilty. My attempt to return her smile could probably be mistaken for a reaction to an intestin
al cramp.
Then she frowns. “Did you think it was a little sour?”
I’m still trying to finish the bite I put in my mouth, so I just shrug and play stupid.
“Maybe a little,” Colin says. “Gave it a little extra kick.” He does an air punch for effect.
Teagan nods thoughtfully. “Yeah. I guess. The recipe said to use lemon zest so I just squeezed it right in there. Maybe the lemon was too big.”
I cringe with the effort of swallowing the hunk of sour banana bread so I can speak. “Did you say squeezed?”
“Yeah. So?”
I try very hard not to smile. “Lemon zest can’t be squeezed.”
“Sure it can,” Teagan says, putting her hands on her hips. “I squeezed the ever-loving shit out of it.”
I laugh. It’s impossible not to when she has that offended look on her face. When I can breathe properly again, I explain.
“Zest is the yellow part of the rind. The part just on top of the white skin under it, just on the outside of the part you squeeze. There’s no juice in zest. Like … ever.”
“Well, why the fuck would anyone want to put lemon peels in a damn banana bread?” she says, sounding like she’s ready to fight me.
I give her a hesitant shrug to ease the sting of my words. “Maybe because it gives a lemon flavor without the sourness?”
Colin snorts.
Teagan sighs out loud and long. “Fuck me sideways. I screwed up again, didn’t I?” She leans over and grabs the plates out of Colin’s hand. “Did you guys really eat it?”
We both nod, first at each other and then at her.
“Well, you’re just stupid, then, aren’t you? I don’t know why I’m using you guys as taste-testers when you can’t even taste a whole buttload of lemon juice in a slice of banana bread.” She leaves the room, and only when she’s completely gone do Colin and I collapse in giggles.
When we can finally breathe again, I suddenly realize he’s on the couch with me and sitting way closer than normal. I try to act cool about it since he seems unfazed by the whole thing. Breathe in, breathe out. You can do this, Alissa!
