“Was that the reason for your military wear to the hackfest yesterday?”
She nodded. “I haven’t participated in too many live competitions, but for the few I’ve been exposed to, guys are assholes.” She paused. “No offense.”
He laughed. “Saying ‘no offense’ doesn’t make it okay.”
She lifted a shoulder. “I know. I don’t care if it’s okay. It’s not okay for guys to treat me like shit and say insulting, vulgar things just because I’m a woman.”
“Chill. I wasn’t implying that it is okay. And there are plenty of assholes out there. I’ve had to boot a bunch from Resskaar for their behavior. But we’re not all assholes. Some of us enjoy having women in the game.”
She thought of Win and knew that to be true. They walked into the conference room, which was actually one of the banquet halls. The convention organizers obviously thought this was going to be a big draw. She looked at the attendees and rechecked her watch. The session was due to start in three minutes.
The room was half empty and the audience was almost all women. Her hopes for engaging in meaningful conversation fell.
Jonah walked up a couple of rows and said, “Something wrong?”
“Hell, yeah. Look around. What’s the purpose of this panel if the entire audience is women? We’re the ones being harassed. It’s preaching to the choir.”
He scanned the room. “True, but their stories are important. The panelists and some of the guests are listening. They—we—want to improve the gaming experience for everyone. If we don’t know what you want, how can we fix it?”
Yeah, Jonah had a point, he always did, but the conversation was going to feel hollow and she knew that.
Jonah knew Charlie was ready to bolt. She never wanted to do anything that might be a waste of time. She looked at this audience and saw a waste of time. He wished she could open up a little and let things play out just to see what might happen. The moderator tapped the mike and as she began introductions for the panelists, more people claimed seats. Still mostly women, but the room filled a little more.
He listened to the bios of the speakers. They were a group of tech specialists, software developers, and security analysts. Then there was an author and a convention organizer. They each gave a brief speech about what they hoped to get out of the discussion, and then they opened the floor to questions and comments.
Charlie was right in that nothing would change because of this one panel, but this discussion was an eye-opener for him. He’d known about harassment, had seen it firsthand, but he didn’t really know what it did to the victims until he heard their stories.
As each woman stood and explained what had happened to her and how she felt, Charlie nodded or grunted her assent. She shifted in her seat, crossing and uncrossing her legs and arms. When they called for last comments, she shot out of her chair and rushed to the microphone.
Jonah was stunned. He hadn’t expected Charlie to speak up. He leaned forward and watched her body language as closely as he listened to her words.
“Like the rest of you, I’ve experienced the minor harassment when players realize I’m a woman. From the taunts of ‘girls can’t play’ to being told that I must be an ugly, fat bitch that no real man would want. We’re all used to that. I think most of us ignore it and let it roll off. But we can’t. Dismissing it allows it to continue as something that’s not only acceptable, but expected.”
She paused and looked over her shoulder at him. He wished he knew what he could do to offer her reassurance.
She turned back to the mike. “Last night, while playing my favorite game, another character who was angry at me attacked me.” She took a deep breath. “He ripped off my clothes, and he planned to rape me—my character. This game has been my refuge, my safe place to relax and explore, but he took some of that from me last night.”
Jonah stiffened. He shouldn’t have left her in game alone. He should’ve stayed online to make sure she was okay.
“The thing is, as a player, I can only do so much to keep myself and my identity safe. It’s up to you”—she pointed at the panelists—“to keep my player safe. Why was this cretin allowed to rip off my clothes? In what universe would that ever be acceptable?”
Now she turned back, and the look she shot at Jonah was full of accusation.
“The developers, the security analysts, the businesses who take my hard-earned money should never have allowed that to happen.”
She walked away from the mike and kept walking until she hit the door. The room was silent. Jonah rose as the moderator began to speak to the panelists. He pushed open the door and looked around for Charlie, but he couldn’t see her. As easy as it should’ve been to spot a blue-green elf walking around with a bow and arrows, it wasn’t. The sea of Klingons and stormtroopers swallowed her up.
Although she moved quickly, he knew where to find her. No matter how angry or hurt she might be about sharing that story, she wouldn’t miss a chance to be with other Browncoats. Three years ago, they’d spent a weekend lying in bed watching the entire Firefly series. Jonah considered himself lucky Charlie loved that instead of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He snagged a schedule to find the Joss Whedon discussion. It didn’t start for at least another twenty minutes, so he went in search of some coffee before tracking down Charlie.
The long lines for coffee had him getting to the next session with only five minutes to spare. The Whedonites filled the hall, so Charlie should stand out in this crowd. He glanced through the groups, hoping she wasn’t hiding from him, regretting that she’d told him her plans for the afternoon.
Then he saw her. She didn’t appear to still be angry. Her gait was smooth, and she chatted with a guy dressed in a leather costume covered in metal studs. Jonah had no idea who he was supposed to be. Charlie pulled up short when she noticed him.
“I brought you a coffee. Got a minute?”
She raised an eyebrow but took the cup. “I refuse to be late for this session, so talk fast.”
“What happened in game last night. Was it the first time something like that happened?”
She pulled back a little. “You mean you aren’t even going to question if it really happened?”
Of course he wouldn’t, he’d seen it, but he couldn’t let her know.
“Why wouldn’t I believe you?”
She shook her head. “Yes, it was the first, and I hope last, time.”
“We’ve had some issues with hackers going in and changing code to cheat the game. Usually harmless stuff. I don’t know how this guy was able to do that. You have to believe that I would never work on a game that would allow that to happen to a player.”
She sipped from her coffee, and a smile flickered on her face. “You remembered how I like my coffee?”
The doors to the conference room opened, and people shuffled in and out. Charlie stepped toward the flock moving in, and Jonah grabbed her elbow. In her ear, he whispered, “I remember how you like everything. See you later.”
He released her elbow and backed away from the crowd going in. They more or less pushed Charlie into the room, but she looked back at him with a stunned look.
What, did she think that just because he left town, he’d forgotten her?
That wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities.
Jonah walked back to his room to make plans for his date with Charlie. They’d left it open-ended so instead of planning dinner before the hackfest, he decided a late-night dessert would be better. Then he could convince her to spend the night with him.
He also made some notes about the session on harassment and checked in with Tim to see if the team had figured out how Kraven had managed the modification.
The more he thought about the issues facing female gamers, the more he thought about how to change the culture. But he was one guy. How could he affect a sea of change?
Chapter 6
Charlie left the Whedon session feeling rejuvenated. She loved being around people who understood her. While her friends accepted he
r, they didn’t really get her love of gaming and sci-fi. They didn’t even know about her hacking. Now that Layla was going to work for the NSA, Charlie wouldn’t be able to tell her at all. There was probably some law that said Layla would have to arrest her or some shit.
But here, in crowds of fans, she felt not only comfortable, but at home. Among the freaks and weirdos.
And then there was Jonah. She didn’t know how he fit into anything, but she was just as comfortable around him as she was the cosplayers. She made some fast friends in the Whedon session, and they were heading to the bar for a drink. And she’d promised Derek they’d get together for a drink too. She pulled out her phone and shot a quick text to Derek to let him know where she’d be in case he wanted to join.
Jake, a guy dressed as a hobbit, touched her shoulder. “So tell me about this game, The Order of Resskaar. I’ve never heard of it, but it sounds like it might be worth a try.”
Charlie couldn’t tell if he was really interested or if he was using the game as a way to flirt. That was one thing she noticed with guys at this con. Many of them were shy, geeky guys, but here, they gained confidence and talked. She couldn’t imagine Jake ever approaching her in a regular bar.
“It’s still a small world comparatively. It’s been out for a couple of years, but it’s growing. The basic premise is that Resskaar has been captured by Jek-Solared. The individual guilds have missions to complete in order to save Resskaar and restore order. While in captivity, Resskaar is able to get messages out to aid you in your mission. Then there’s the usual pillaging and fighting that goes along with everything.” They walked into the bar as she finished her explanation, and as she drifted toward a table, she half expected Jake to find his group of friends.
“How long have you been playing?”
“Almost since the beginning. About two years.” She looked around to see if Derek had arrived and to get the attention of a waitress.
“What do you want? I’ll go to the bar and grab it.”
“A light beer would be great. Thanks.”
Jake went to order, and a couple of women that she’d seen in the last session waved and asked if they could join her table.
“Uh, sure, but leave a chair for Jake. He went to go grab some drinks.”
“Oh, Jake.” The woman had a grin on her face, and Charlie couldn’t figure out if it was a look of teasing or fondness.
“Is there something I should know?”
“Don’t let him fool you. He acts all shy and reserved, but he’s all alpha, if you know what I mean.”
No, Charlie had no idea where this conversation was headed. “We’re just talking about gaming. Nothing else.”
“That’s how it always starts out. Jake finds a girl every year. Singles her out. Makes her feel special. And then wham! He moves in.”
“Are you saying this guy is dangerous?”
She laughed loud and hard. Her friend joined in. “No. He just leaves you so unsuspecting. By the time he works his magic, you’re into him.”
“No, I’m not. I’m not looking to hook up with anyone.” Except Jonah. Or Win. Shit, she really wished she could’ve convinced Win to make the trip to the con.
“Then you really don’t know what you’re missing.”
Charlie leaned forward on the table. “Are you telling me that you and Jake . . . ?”
“Last year.” Her smile widened.
Her friend sat forward. “Two years ago.”
“Wait.” Charlie couldn’t believe this. “You mean you each hooked up with Jake?”
The first woman laughed again. “Sue was the one who told me about him, made sure we crossed paths.”
Sue touched Charlie’s arm. “He’s a great way to spend your nights.”
“My nights are already booked.”
“Are you sure?” Sue glanced over her shoulder where Jake was headed back toward them. “Because Jen and I might be able to convince him that once wasn’t enough.”
“Uh, yeah. All yours. I was just having a friendly conversation.” Jake had gotten waylaid by another guy, and Charlie had to ask. “Isn’t it weird knowing you and your friend have been with the same guy? Won’t there be some awkwardness when he gets back here?”
“No. That’s the best thing about Jake. It is what it is. A good time, a few laughs. Everyone leaves satisfied and happy.”
Jake set a beer in front of Charlie. Not wanting to let on to the wealth of information that she’d received, Charlie pointed to the women. “Jake, this is Sue and Jen.”
“Oh, we’ve met,” Sue purred. “You remember us, don’t you, Jake?”
“Of course.” He bent over and kissed Sue’s cheek and then did the same to Jen. “Do you ladies need another drink?”
“No, we’re good.”
Jake settled in the chair between the two women, and Charlie couldn’t quite decide if she should be offended. They weren’t on a date or anything, and she wasn’t even interested in Jake, but watching him sit between two women who were so obviously into him bugged her. Luckily, she didn’t have to suffer through it too long because Derek walked through the door. Thank God he was built like a brick wall. He was easy to spot.
“Excuse me, guys. I see a friend I’ve been looking for. Jake, it was good to meet you. Thanks for the beer. Sue, Jen, have a great time.” She stepped away from the table without waiting for a response.
“Derek,” she called, and the big man turned.
“Hey, glad you texted. Let me grab a beer. You need one?”
She glanced at her still full bottle. “Sure.”
She followed Derek to the bar, and they took seats there.
Over the next hour they chatted about everything from gaming to hacking. Jake and company had been pleasant enough, but hanging with Derek was fun. She was sorry to have to pull away from him, but she needed to shower before the hackfest. No way would she show up in costume for that. Competition would be difficult enough without the inevitable snickers and teasing.
She said her good-bye to Derek with the promise that they’d meet up again before the end of the con and headed back to her room. The dark room felt lonely compared to the rest of the crowded hotel where she could find someone to talk to. She shook her head and her morose thoughts. Spending time alone was normal. It shouldn’t bother her now.
Scrubbing off the body paint took longer than she expected, especially since it seemed to come off so readily against Jonah. Thinking of his paint-smeared body turned her on, and she thought about satisfying that need before the competition, but decided to wait until after, when Jonah would be available for her satisfaction. He’d said he planned to make it up to her. With interest.
Charlie pulled on the baggy cargo pants and sweatshirt and pulled her hair back. If anyone gave her more than a passing glance, they would realize she was female, but she was too tired to do more. And she shouldn’t have to disguise herself. She’d made it through the first round just like everyone else.
She grabbed her bag and went in search of caffeine. By the time she got to the conference room, many of the seats were filled. She’d never known such a prompt group of hackers before. Jonah was at the front of the room in a quiet conversation with the moderators. She took a seat and set up her laptop and drank her coffee. Being the second challenge, tonight would no doubt last longer than the night before. She eyed her competition. They could’ve been any of the guys she’d run into at meet-ups over the years. Some were too serious, like they were afraid that by conversing with someone they might reveal their secrets.
Jonah suddenly looked up as if someone had called him. As the moderator continued to talk, Jonah scanned the room. His gaze landed on her, and the heat in the stare made her squirm in her seat.
She didn’t have time to think lustful thoughts. She needed to focus.
Jonah knew Charlie came into the room because the air shifted. It wasn’t a sexual thing—at least he chose to believe that. And he wasn’t the only one to notice her. The rumblings of a cou
ple of guys behind him verified that. Although they hadn’t made any inappropriate comments, they were nudging each other and pointing at Charlie. She was one of only two women who made it to the second round. The other woman hadn’t arrived yet, but Jonah hoped she would.
He checked the time. The challenge would start in less than five minutes, and a bunch of people still hadn’t shown. It didn’t surprise him. Many hackers came to competitions like this not knowing how tough it was going to be. Even though they made the first cut, some would’ve recognized that they didn’t have what it takes to win.
Jonah made his way to the door to close it for the start, and three more people squeezed through, one being the other woman. They plopped into chairs and set up laptops while Carl, the moderator, read through directions.
Tonight’s challenge was more difficult. Jonah wasn’t sure how many would complete it, and he worried about Charlie. When he’d left three years ago, he’d seen natural ability in her, but she had a habit of rushing into things without thought. Luckily for her, her gut instinct was usually on target. The challenge planned for tonight would require strategy. If the goals were reached out of order, the hacker would still finish, but not be able to win. Sequence counted here.
He perched on a stool near the door and drank from a bottle of water. The clacking of keys lulled him into a comfort zone. It was kind of like being at work. He zoned out, thinking about Kraven. Tim still hadn’t found how the guy had gotten in to change the code, but the altered code had been discovered and changed back.
Tim put someone else on blocking Kraven’s account so he could focus on the security aspects. Jonah exhibited extreme restraint by not finding out who Kraven really was and paying him a visit in person. Attacking Charlie had been bad enough, but this asshole had done it in Jonah’s game.
Thinking about the game brought him back to thinking about Charlie. He needed to tell her he was Win, but he didn’t know how. Things were strange between them. He shouldn’t have slept with her without coming clean, but all he could think about was getting her naked again. If he told her his online identity, that option would be out the window.
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