"Let's hurry, Jim. The bats leave right at sunset and I want you closer to the mouth of the cave when they go." Blair grabbed the belt and gave Jim a small shove forward. After stumbling once in the darkness, his other hand found a wad of shirt to hold onto.
"You're still thinking about the bats after what we found in here?" Jim moved to the next pool and looked through the waters.
"Yeah. These drawings are for Eli. The bats are why I dragged you down here." Blair stumbled again and took a firmer grip on Jim's belt, pulling himself a little closer.
"Don't you people get credits for discoveries like that?" Jim scanned the last of the pools he could see, then turned and took Blair by the arms to get him around a large guano-covered section of rock.
"Jim, I have my name on hundreds of discoveries. It's no big deal after your first one or two."
They passed the slippery section and were closer to the mouth of the cave, where the last remains of sunlight filtered in enough to illuminate the ground. "Hundreds?" Jim stopped and looked down at Blair. Sometimes it struck him just how little of Blair's life he really knew.
"Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration." Blair shrugged and looked up, squinting in the dim light toward the ceiling.
"How much of an exaggeration, Chief?" Weren't these things important? "These things get documented somewhere, don't they?"
Absently, Blair nodded, still looking around at the bats above them. "Yeah, they do. What time is it?"
"It's just about sunset." Jim didn't need a watch to tell him that. "How many discoveries have you made?"
Blair sighed, thinking, but still glancing upward. "Well, there was a burial site at Machu Picchu, but I was just one of the names there." He stepped closer to the mouth of the cave and peered around. "That was my first. Then I found remnants of a lost culture in this remote section of the Congo. And the burial rituals in Matango. It was by chance that I was the first Westerner to witness those." Satisfied with what he saw, Blair walked back toward Jim. "There's four or five more minor things, like these drawings. And then the Sentinel discoveries, including you." He found a good spot to stand near the side of the cave and looked up again. "So I guess a hundred is a bit of an exaggeration."
Jim watched his friend, slightly stunned. A bit of an exaggeration, he called it. What Jim imagined to be the career equivalent of several high-profile, media related busts, the kid calls it a bit of an exaggeration. He'd just opened his mouth to comment further when he felt it.
From overhead, a tingling sensation on the top of his head was quickly followed by the rustling sounds of thousands of winged rodents preparing to launch into flight.
"They're getting ready." Blair stood, pointing to the bats. "Jim, just stand there while they fly out and tell me what you hear or feel."
He was going to question this whole experiment, ask why his ability or lack thereof to hear bat sonar had any importance. But suddenly that didn't matter. The bats, in what looked like a solid mass of bodies, were releasing their toe-hold and dropping into flight. At first, Jim could hear a high-pitched chorus of screeches echoing through the cavern, but as he stepped out under the thick of them, the sound vanished. As did the cave, Blair, and the very bats themselves.
Jim was floating somewhere dark and warm. His entire body had begun to vibrate gently as tiny fingers of sound slammed into every inch of skin in an all-encompassing massage. At first, the waves reached only his skin, almost painfully, but as he concentrated and the numbers grew, his very bones felt the touch. Losing himself in the sensation, Jim felt his body begin to react. Muscles lost their tension to the massage. Bones tingled in waves of motion as the feeling ran up, then down, each length. Slightly surprised, he realized there was a pattern to it all. As if the sense of touch caressing his body with invisible fingers used a language that had no words. The fingers had something important to convey, but only his body understood. His mind was left to ponder, and enjoy, the language.
After a time, the rhythm changed, becoming more intense. Stronger vibrations rocked his spine, and from head to toe he felt the impact. The sensation remained completely pleasurable, even when it felt as if his bones could vibrate into small bits. But not long after the increase, the feeling began to dissipate. Slowly, Jim felt the fingers fade away and the massage lessen more and more. With eyes closed, he nearly imagined himself floating out after them, but another touch brought his attention back into the cave.
"Jim?"
Startled, he opened his eyes and found Blair standing beside him, one hand on his arm. All light from the mouth of the cave was gone, as were the bats. "What happened? What was that?"
"You zoned out, man." Blair kept his hand on Jim's arm, squinting through the darkness at his eyes. "It takes over an hour for all the bats to leave the cave."
Jim swallowed, still tingling from the sensations. "You mean I just stood here for an hour?"
Blair nodded. "I was going to bring you out sooner, but you seemed to be enjoying it."
That was certainly an understatement! He could have stayed there another three or four hours and not noticed the passage of time. "Let's just say this would be a great place to bring a date." No wonder Dracula got all the girls.
"What was it like, Jim? What did you hear?"
"It wasn't a matter of hearing anything, I--I felt their sonar. It was like tiny little pinpoints of touch, slamming into my entire body." Jim was glancing around, almost hopefully, for more bats still to leave, but he and Blair were now alone. "It was the strangest thing. It almost hurt, it was so intense."
"You felt them? You didn't really hear it, but you felt it?" Blair seemed more excited than perplexed, his eyes reflecting a million thought processes all demanding sudden attention.
"Yeah." God, yes. "And the strangest part was the pattern. After a little while, it felt like there was some kind of pattern there. Like a--a rhythm or something." How do you explain a sensation that has no explanation? "I can't really explain it, but it was incredible."
"But did you hear anything? Any sounds at all, or was it all just feeling?"
Sounds? Who the hell cared about sounds when his entire body had just been shaken and massaged from the inside out? "No, not really. I don't think so." Jim shook his head. "I dunno, there might have been. I was so zoned on what I could feel, I--there might have been sounds." He looked back at Blair apologetically. "I just don't remember sounds, Chief."
Blair was nodding, glancing around at nothing as the wheels started spinning wildly. "No, that's okay." He kept nodding, glancing around in the dark as if chasing a thought. "I didn't expect this."
"Neither did I." At the most, he'd expected a headache from lots of high-pitched little squeaking rodents. It would almost be worth it to wait for their return, but he and Blair had already been out well past sunset running on nothing but breakfast that morning. And if that look in his friend's eyes right now was any indication, Jim knew if he didn't take the kid back and feed him, he'd forget to eat altogether. "We'd better head back, Chief. It's dark and we have a long walk ahead."
"Yeah." Blair's reply was hardly convincing.
"Sandburg, are you with me?" Jim stared down at his partner, waiting for his eyes to focus again. "It's dark. Let's get back and we can talk about this all you want."
"Right, right." He nodded, but Jim was still less than convinced.
The cave was completely dark, and Blair's flashlight totally worthless. "Listen, you're going to have to stay close. We have to climb up that chimney and I don't want to pick up the pieces."
At that, Blair seemed to return to the cave. "Just stay to the left, it's dryer."
"The left." The side he forgot to mention on the way in. Jim nodded, then reached out and took both of Blair's hands, placing them on his belt again. There was no telling how long he'd have his friend's attention, now that he had a new puzzle to play out in his mind. "Just stay close."
Part 5
* * *
The climb out was tricky, made doubly so
by the need to keep Blair close enough to make sure he put his feet exactly where Jim had set his. It got worse near the top where the rock was loose, so Jim had Blair stay put until he could climb out, then reached down and pulled him up. The walk back was a little easier, with enough moonlight for Blair to see the ground well.
Jim tried to keep an ear out, covering their surroundings as they walked back to camp, but the lingering sensations coursing up and down his body were a big distraction.
"Jim, you said you almost felt a rhythm, right?"
"What?" Jim had to shake himself out of another distracting recollection. "Oh, yeah, sort of. But that can't be. Bats don't use sonar for language, Chief. And I'm sure they don't even have one."
Blair shook his head. "No, all animals have a language. Granted, it's one we'll never understand, but they have one among themselves." He thought for a moment, running a hand through his hair in what had become a very typical motion.
"What?" Jim could see something was there; whether it would make sense or not he didn't know. "What are you thinking?"
"I'm not sure yet."
Jim laughed, then draped his arm over Blair's shoulders. "Well, that's reassuring."
They walked into camp, still deserted of anyone other than the natives, and Jim steered Blair into the larger tent used for cooking. His partner insisted on finding larger sheets of paper he could re-create the cave drawings on, and Jim insisted they eat. Which meant he cooked. His experience in the caves had given Jim an odd sort of charge, which he channeled into energy for putting together a hearty dinner. One that Blair ate while hardly noticing. He was absorbed in Jim's drawings, and asked question after question as he copied them onto larger sheets of paper for Dr. Stoddard's benefit. It was as if the bats, and Jim's experience, were suddenly forgotten for the sake of the drawings Blair didn't care to get the credit for in the first place. His change in gear didn't dull Jim's memory of the sonar massage.
But his other senses were becoming more and more numb as he realized it was midnight. Blair finally finished the last of the drawings and Jim cleaned up after their meal. The closer he got to his cot, the more tired he felt. All of the relaxation of his fingerless massage came back, begging for attention in sleep. While Blair sat down at the desk for what he promised would be just a few minutes to jot down some notes, Jim fell into a quick, and incredibly relaxing sleep.
It wasn't until what felt like days later he rolled over and became aware of the light still on inside the tent.
"Sandburg, it's nearly three o'clock." Jim propped himself up on one elbow and looked at his partner, still sitting at the desk writing notes. "You can't still be thinking about those drawings."
"Hmm?" Blair barely turned his head. "Oh, no, those I'm finished with." He pulled down his glasses and rubbed both eyes. "I left them and some notes in Eli's tent."
"Then what are you doing?" Jim shifted, sitting up on the cot.
"Jim, you were zoned out, completely zoned out, for an hour!"
Somehow, through what Jim could see was denied exhaustion, Blair's eyes sparkled as they always did when he got excited about something he'd seen for the first time. The fact that his excitement was so often about him made Jim feel surprisingly flattered.
"I never expected what you described, man. And it opens up a whole new aspect I never even considered. I just have to get some thoughts down on paper so I can try and work this out later, when I have more time to think it through." He pushed the glasses back up and picked up his pen again. "I'm not sure what it means, or if it means anything, but it's definitely something that needs to be examined."
So the topic was him again? "What about those drawings? Aren't they going to be pretty significant for Dr. Stoddard? Don't you need to study those while you're still here?"
"No, Jim, those aren't mine." Blair dismissed them with a wave of his hand. "Eli will go back there and document it all once he's had a look at the sketches and my notes."
"This Sentinel work hasn't always been your only study, has it?" Jim stood then walked over to the chair Blair was occupying. Tonight, like so many other times Jim had shrugged off in the past, he was struck with how little he knew - really knew - what made Blair Sandburg tick. Had he known more, maybe he would have realized just how hurt his friend could have been thinking Jim hadn't trusted him enough to believe he wasn't coming home. The only thing worse than that look he'd seen in Blair's eyes, was knowing he'd been the cause of it.
"Anthropology is like specializing in medicine, Jim. You have to study the whole picture, which in the case of humanity is really huge. Then as you specialize, you branch off into your category or subfield." Blair glanced off into the darkness and his eyes sparkled in the tent light. "But the Sentinel study, that's mine."
Jim watched his friend's face, trying to read the many expressions there.
"Do you know how rare it is, Jim?" Blair looked at him. "So few people, in any given profession, ever really have one goal. One singular purpose or quest. That's what makes people like Eli so important. Maybe one out of every hundred or so Anthropologists ever makes a discovery out of sheer determination and perseverance. Just knowing that it has to be there keeps them going. The rest of them just follow along, and make their careers out of working on someone else's project." He looked at his hands, playing with the pen. "There's nothing wrong with that. It's a perfectly valid career." Unsatisfied with the pen, Blair again met Jim's eyes. "But this Sentinel study...it's mine. No one can take that away, or replace it. Even if I never publish, Jim, no one can take it away."
The look in those eyes dared even Jim to attempt it. That very notion nearly made him laugh, but the sentiment behind it warmed him beyond words. With a sigh, Jim sat on the edge of the cot so he was level with Blair's eyes. "Listen, Chief. I realize what I said about my reasons for flying out here sounded like I didn't trust you." Blair opened his mouth to speak but Jim held up a hand to stop him. "Just, hang on." He had to make this clear, and know that it was understood. "It's only because I care that I could even get that worried. And I know what kind of a risk you're taking by turning down Dr. Stoddard's offer. It's a big career decision."
"It's the right decision, Jim." Blair met his eyes with a look of determination. "Whether it's the best career move, I don't know. But that doesn't matter so much anymore."
"Well it should matter, Sandburg. You're young. You still have your entire professional career ahead of you."
"You are my professional career. It's not just the Sentinel project anymore. That's still a large part of it, but there's more to this now." Blair ran a hand through his hair then laughed lightly. "Are you trying to get rid of me or something?"
Jim smiled, feeling both relieved and touched. "Not in a million years, Chief. I need you, remember? Besides, I've gotten used to having you around."
Blair nodded, glancing at the ground for a moment. "So have I. That's why it hurt so much, Jim. It's hard enough to know how you feel about your Sentinel abilities, when they're so important to me. But to think you...that you could think I would do something like that...leave like that, without telling you or anything. That hurt. And it only hurt because...because I care that much, Jim."
Jim sighed, waiting for Blair to meet his eyes again. He was getting a hell of a lot more out of this trip than he expected. "I'm glad to know that, Blair. And I'm sorry. I know how much Dr. Stoddard means to you, and...well I didn't know how I'd compare once you got here." His friend's eyebrows knit together for a moment, but Jim continued. "I never meant to upset you." Blair glanced away, then back again. "So, am I forgiven?"
A flash of confusion was quickly replaced with a nod as Blair cleared his throat. "Yeah, you're forgiven, Jim."
"Thanks." Jim stood, then pulled Blair's head and shoulders in for a quick embrace from his chair. "It would have been hell driving around Cascade with you not speaking to me." He gave Blair's back a quick rub and moved over to glance at the papers on the desk. "So, just what was it about those bats that has you up al
l night?"
* * *
Once again he'd risked it all with Jim, and once again he'd been completely accepted. The past twenty four hours had been filled with so many emotional ups and downs, he was getting dizzy. "Um..." What was the question again? "I'm not sure yet." God, he felt as if his soul had been walked through. "It might be nothing." It had been so gentle, and honestly done, it deserved recognition.
"All these notes? It looks like something to me, Chief."
"Listen, Jim." Blair put a hand on Jim's arm and looked him in the eyes. "Thanks for understanding." His friend's eyes lowered in that way he had right before he'd smile. "And I mean about everything. Coming out here. You. The Sentinel thing." He shrugged, not sure how else to put his entire life into words.
"Anytime, Chief."
"No, I mean it." Blair held on to Jim's arm and had his full attention. "Flying out here was no small thing. And you were right, I should be flattered. And I am. Eli did mean a lot to me, and he still does." He paused, wondering if he should continue and risk stumbling over everything he wanted to say. Jim was watching him, very quietly and patiently waiting. Blair swallowed, then pressed on. "I know how you could jump to that conclusion. I've always given you reason to believe it might happen, haven't I?" Jim opened his mouth but Blair shook his head. It was his turn. "No, Jim. You've always been so open and honest about how you feel, and what you want. Well," He let go of Jim's arm and looked around the dimly lit room. "So have I. It's just that---in the past, I didn't honestly want this. When Dr. Stoddard asked me to come here I...I really did want to come." He risked another glance at Jim, and found him listening intently, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I'm just glad I got that chance to think about it--about what it really meant, and what exactly I would be losing. And...well, it changed things, Jim. It changed me." Why was it the things that were so important were so hard to put into words? He glanced around quickly, hoping Jim was able to weed through his clumsy way of saying what he wanted. "I know I've done very little to prove to you that my mind is set on staying with this, with you in Cascade and the Sentinel thing. But it is." He swallowed, forcing his eyes to look up and meet Jim's even as his face flushed with his discomfort. "You didn't have to come out here to ensure me coming back, Jim. But I'm glad you did." Okay, that was embarrassing! Certainly not what he'd said, but his stumbling way of saying it must have sounded idiotic.
The Dancing Page 5
