by Linda Ford
He could understand that, too. “You have a nice family and a nice home.”
“I know.”
“Papa, how can you run away from the past?” Teddy’s question halted their conversation.
Caleb explained to Lilly what Lonnie had said. “I don’t know if you can, son. The past is always a part of us. Guess we can only learn how to accept it.” Likely the boy was referring to the horrible events that had occurred in their once peaceful home—though it had lacked the warmth and joy the Bell home had. He wanted Teddy to learn to confine the horror of that day to a small corner of his mind and not let it rule his life.
Lilly leaned over Teddy and stroked his forehead. Her tenderness with his child made the back of Caleb’s nose sting.
“Teddy,” she said, “my ma once told me if I want to get rid of a bad picture in my mind, I have to replace it with a good one.”
Teddy clung to her gaze. “How?”
“What’s your favorite thing?”
“Blossom.”
Caleb saw her flinch ever so slightly and knew she had the same awful thought he did—what if Blossom didn’t make it?
She continued. “What you do when the bad picture comes is pretend to turn around so your back is to the picture and you think of the good thing instead.”
“Did you do that?”
She nodded. “I used to wake up crying. I was so afraid I didn’t want to go to bed. After Ma talked to me, I would think of one of my favorite things.” She laughed. “Strangely enough it was much like you and Blossom. I loved a furry little kitten I called Puff.”
Teddy nodded. “Did your mama let you take Puff to bed with you?”
“Ma doesn’t like cats in the house, but she did let me keep Puff in my bed a couple of times when I was especially afraid.”
Caleb was again struck by the loving kindness in this family.
Teddy turned to Caleb. “See, I need Blossom with me.”
Caleb laughed. Teddy certainly had a way of working things to get what he wanted.
“I suppose Blossom will have to sleep somewhere.” It was time to remove the poultice and he did so.
Lilly checked Teddy’s skin. “It’s important to make sure we don’t burn him.”
We? Caleb would not acknowledge how good that sounded because there would be no ‘we.’ There would be only him. “I’ll see if I can remember the exercises on my own.”
He regretted his words immediately as Lilly stepped back and allowed him to manage on his own. Only twice did she correct him with verbal instructions. He could do this, he congratulated himself. On his own.
That particular victory fell flat.
* * *
Lilly watched Caleb’s growing confidence with a mixture of pleasure and regret. If he meant to take care of Teddy on his own, he was proving capable. In the back of her mind she’d unwillingly harbored a hope he could struggle and decide Teddy needed to stay with the Bells. Wouldn’t he then have to stay, too? Why would she think such a thing? Of course he wouldn’t stay. He had a job and needed the money to take Teddy for treatment. Unless, of course, she and Ma could help Teddy, and then he wouldn’t need to work for the Caldwells. Nor go east to see a doctor.
She jerked her gaze from Caleb, but she saw nothing except a twirl of confusion that came from inside her head. All that mattered was taking care of Teddy’s leg using the best of the skills Ma had taught her. Where and when Caleb went afterward was of no concern to her. Hadn’t she learned her lesson? Don’t get close to people. Don’t care too much. It’ll just be one more loss down the road. The road she walked with Caleb and Teddy was to be just one day long.
She sucked in air and held it until her brain hammered for oxygen. She released her breath slowly, in firm control of her wayward thoughts.
The others returned to wait for Lilly to join them.
Their usual Sunday activity included wandering around the farm, letting Cora catch up with any changes and generally sharing the latest news each had. Soon the cold and snow would make them unable to get together on Sundays. Lilly did not welcome the thought. She enjoyed seeing Cora every week.
“Ask him to come along,” Rose whispered, and Cora nodded.
“Yes, do.”
She shook her head at her sisters’ suggestion. Hadn’t she only moments ago talked herself into keeping a distance from Caleb? Asking him to join them would put him squarely into her life, where she did not want him. “He’ll want to stay with Teddy.”
Ma stepped from the bedroom, patting her hair and then trying to hide a yawn. She headed for the stove to make herself some tea.
“Ask Ma to watch him,” Cora said. “You know Ma would be glad to.”
Ma noticed their conspiring. “What are you girls up to now?”
They turned as one.
Cora answered. “We wondered if Caleb would like to join us on our walk.”
Lilly watched Caleb. His face lighted as if the thought pleased him, but guilt quickly replaced the pleasure. He lifted a hand toward Teddy. “I have to keep an eye on my boy.”
Relief, along with a twinge of sadness, filled Lilly. For a moment she’d thought he would agree.
“Tsk. You don’t have to spend the afternoon indoors,” Ma said. “It’d be my pleasure to watch him.”
He thanked Ma. “In that case, I’d love to go for a walk with all of you.”
Lilly turned toward the outdoors, not wanting anyone to see her smile.
Rose hurried ahead, calling Grub to her side, Cora and Wyatt following arm in arm. Lilly glanced about for Lonnie, but he hung over the fence at the pig pen, watching his favorite animals.
That left Lilly no option but to fall in at Caleb’s side and traipse after the others. She twisted her hands into a knot. Why did it matter if they walked together? It meant nothing to either of them. But something about caring for Teddy and seeing Caleb’s tenderness toward his son had awakened a desire she had tried to bury a mile deep, where it would never surface.
However, if Caleb walked at her side, it would give her a chance to talk about Teddy, though she wasn’t sure what she needed to say. Caleb could handle the poultice and exercises fine on his own. And she said so.
“It would be an answer to a prayer if this works,” she said.
“I confess I move between hope and despair. I would dearly love to see him walk without having to endure any more pain and discomfort. I know God could heal him, if He so chooses. But is my faith enough?” He shrugged.
“I suppose it depends what you have faith in.”
“Why, in God, of course.”
“Oh.” She purposely looked puzzled. “Didn’t I hear you say you wondered if your faith was enough? Seems that means you’re trusting in what you can do.”
He stopped stock-still and turned to stare at her, surprise filling his eyes. “I never thought of it that way. Of course I don’t think it depends on me.” He considered it a moment and shook his head. “At least I don’t mean to.” He turned to follow after the others again. “You’ve given me food for thought.”
She couldn’t tell if he appreciated it or not. “I hope you didn’t think me harsh or judgmental. I spoke without thinking.”
“No, no.” He strode on, his hands stuffed into his pockets.
In the lead, Rose guided the group toward the sheep pasture. They lined up along the fence and watched the animals grazing peacefully. Glad to be rescued from the uncomfortable conversation, Lilly counted her flock.
It grated at her nerves that one of the lambs had been drowned by the Caldwell cowboys.
Rose sidled up to her. “Those horrible Caldwells,” she murmured, and cast an accusing look past Lilly to Caleb.
If Caleb heard the comment, he gave no indication.
“My little flock is expandin
g.” She hoped to divert Rose from the attack she sensed was coming. “I’ll spin this spring’s wool as soon as the snow falls.”
Cora explained to Caleb. “She makes sweaters and mittens from her wool and sells them. She always has a ready sale for them. Settlers and ranchers stop at the store and admire her things and soon all her handiwork is gone.”
“It sounds like a lot of work,” Caleb said.
“I enjoy it.” She especially enjoyed knowing people received a quality product in everything she made.
“Work isn’t difficult if you enjoy it.” Wyatt pulled Cora closer and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Or if you do it for the one you love.”
Lilly rejoiced for the love her sister had found. But even so her heart ached. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact cause. Was it regret over how things had changed? How Cora now had a life that didn’t include her twin sisters? Or was it something more—longing to experience the same thing?
She shook her head. A love like the one Cora and Wyatt shared was nice to see, but was it worth the pain and risk it carried in its arms?
“Let’s see how Pa’s trees have fared.” Cora turned toward the orchard.
As they walked by the various fruit and berry bushes, Lilly explained how Pa had tried to produce fruit trees hardy enough for the Montana climate. A few scrawny apples remained on the trees, pockmarked by hungry birds. “Pa always leaves some fruit for the birds and deer.”
Caleb smiled. “I like that.”
They continued on their way, going toward the garden shed.
Rose turned to Cora. “I’ve made good progress in getting Ma’s medicinals and remedies on paper.”
“Rose is the family diary keeper,” Lilly said by way of explanation.
“Someday you will thank me for making sure they are written down.”
“You’re doing a good job,” Lilly admitted. “Cora, you should see the beautiful leather notebook she is writing in.” She’d only started the new notebook a few days ago. Before that she’d written her notes in a plain booklet.
Rose grinned. “Why, thank you, dear sister. For that compliment I promise not to tease you for the rest of the day.”
Cora and Lilly grinned at each other.
“Do you believe her?” Cora asked.
Lilly chuckled. “Not for a minute. She can no more resist teasing me than she can stop breathing.”
Rose flounced away. “Don’t say I didn’t offer.”
Wyatt laughed and turned to Caleb. “They sound like they mean it, but be warned, don’t ever try to come between any of them. They’d turn on you so fast you couldn’t escape without bruises.”
Cora gave him a playful shove. “You make us sound vicious and we never are.”
Wyatt pulled her to him. “You’re far more subtle, aren’t you? But I’m not fooled.” He planted a kiss on her nose.
Lilly’s throat clenched and she turned her attention to the landscape. The sun was warm, the sky almost cloudless. Dry leaves crackled underfoot. The breeze off the river carried a chill, warning people not to grow complacent and forget about the approaching winter.
“There’s snow on the mountains,” Wyatt said.
Cora pressed her cheek to his shoulder. “You’ll be warm and dry in our little home this winter.”
He nodded and smiled down at her. “I shall enjoy every minute of it.” He leaned over as if to kiss her nose again.
“Enough of that.” Rose shepherded them along the riverbank amid laughing protests from Wyatt and Cora.
They wandered for a spell until they reached a grassy slope, a favorite spot for Lilly and her sisters, and they sat down. Autumn leaves rustled in the nearby trees. Birds chattered noisily.
“Look,” Lilly said, pointing to the prairie across the river. “A herd of antelope moving south for the winter.”
They watched the animals for a few minutes and then settled back to enjoy the rest of the afternoon. Apparently done with the pigs, Lonnie jogged over to join them. The conversation went round various topics, especially plans for the coming winter. For the girls, that included spinning, knitting and quilting. The men discussed Wyatt’s livestock.
Throughout the conversation Lilly noticed that Caleb kept looking toward the house. She was about to suggest they return when the topic shifted, as it seemed to always do, to the Caldwells.
“We haven’t seen any of their cowboys around in days,” Rose said, glancing about, as did the others, to make certain today wasn’t the day they showed up to do their mischief.
“Has anyone heard if Duke has returned yet?” Cora asked.
“Douglas.” Rose refused to call the Caldwell son by the nickname everyone else used. “Maybe he got lost or changed his mind about returning. Philadelphia might suit him better than Montana.”
“You know you’re just dying for him to get back. You miss him so much.” Lilly grinned at Caleb to invite him in on the family joke.
Rose spun toward Lilly. “I most certainly do not.”
Her reaction drew a chuckle from the other sisters.
“But he so admires your red hair,” Lilly teased.
“He mocks it.” She turned to Caleb. “He used to chant ‘redhead, redhead, fire in the woodshed.’ I know what he meant.” She tapped the side of her head and rolled her eyes. “As if having red hair means there’s something wrong with my mind. Phewt. I could live quite happily never seeing him again.”
Caleb’s eyes sparkled, but he looked sincere as he leaned toward Rose. “I expect he’s jealous of your beautiful hair.”
His compliment brought a rush of pink to Rose’s cheeks and more laughter from the others.
“Of course, Rose didn’t take his teasing without retaliation,” Lilly added.
“I would be surprised if she did.” Caleb looked from one to the other. “What did she do?”
“She punched him in the stomach so hard he could hardly walk afterward.” Lilly had been proud of her sister’s actions, but at the same time she’d been a little afraid of what Ma and Pa would say.
“Ma and Pa made me write a letter of apology.” Rose still grumbled at the idea. “I wrote it, but I never meant a word I said.”
Caleb studied the three girls each in turn, his gaze resting finally on Lilly. “It sounds to me like things could get interesting when this Duke fella comes back.”
“Douglas,” Rose corrected. “And if he tries anything, he’ll soon discover we aren’t helpless little girls anymore.”
“Tell me you won’t do anything foolish,” Cora begged.
“Depends what you call foolish.” Rose looked away, silently informing them she would not reveal any plans she might have. She jumped to her feet. “Look, something’s caught in the river.”
They all hurried to the bank. Bright red and blue flashed in the water.
“They look like ribbons,” Cora said. “Oh, I’d love some more ribbon.”
Wyatt waded into the water and caught one strand as it fluttered by, a blue ribbon he gave to Cora. She rewarded him with a kiss full on his mouth.
The other ribbons drifted by but got caught on a rock. “Let’s get them,” Lilly called, running downstream.
“Let me.” Caleb strode in and retrieved another length of ribbon, this one red. “It’s for you.” He handed it to Lilly.
“Thank you.” She smiled, lowering her head and smoothing the wet ribbon. She might never wear it, but she’d cherish it as a keepsake.
She couldn’t meet Caleb’s eyes. But as she glanced past him, a bit of blue caught her attention. “The other ribbon is caught.”
Caleb trotted to the river, waded in and rescued the yard of ribbon. He handed it to Rose. “One each. How fortunate.”
Rose’s eyes widened and then narrowed. Lilly wondered if she would accept a gift
from a Caldwell cowboy.
Lilly released her breath when Rose took the ribbon and said, “Thank you very much.”
Hopefully Caleb wouldn’t be offended by her less-than-enthusiastic response.
He glanced down at his wet trousers. “I best go change. Then it’s time I got back to Teddy.” His gaze went toward the house. “He might be getting worried.”
Lilly’s attention was riveted on Caleb’s face. The depth of devotion she saw there struck at her heart.
Was it possible a man could remain faithful in spite of challenges that would rock even the strongest person?
Chapter Nine
The afternoon had passed with lightning speed for Caleb. He’d enjoyed spending time with the Bell sisters, Wyatt and Lonnie, and he had found himself relaxing and feeling unburdened in their company.
Now his chest muscles tightened. Forgetting his responsibilities was not a good thing. He had a son who required his full time and attention.
Despite his mental warning, he smiled as he remembered the way Rose and Lilly had teased each other—all without rancor. His smile disappeared as quickly as it came when he flashed to Rose’s struggle to accept the ribbon from him. He understood it was because he worked for the Caldwells.
And if he wanted to keep that job, he’d better pack up and get back there.
“It’s time for me to leave,” he said to the others.
They rose and followed him across the yard.
He hurried into the house, expecting to find an anxious Teddy. Instead, Teddy was sitting at the table with a glass of milk, an empty plate with some crumbs on it and Mr. and Mrs. Bell huddled close. They were listening intently as his son told them stories.
What stories had Teddy told?
Caleb’s heart twisted. There were far too many sad, bitter tales in the boy’s life.
Teddy didn’t even glance up at Caleb as he continued regaling the elder Bells.
“Papa told me I catched the biggest fish any little boy ever caught.” He saw Caleb. “Didn’t I, Papa?”
