by Linda Ford
He looked back and forth between the door and his son, running his fingers through his hair until it grew so tangled his fingers caught.
She should have been back by now.
He made up his mind. He could not sit here wondering if she needed help. “Teddy, I have to go find Lilly. You stay here and don’t go outside for any reason. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Okay, Papa.”
Still Caleb hesitated, torn between making sure his son was safe and making sure Lilly was. His chest tightened until it hurt to breathe.
He made up his mind. At the moment Lilly’s needs were more urgent. “Blossom, you stay with Teddy.”
The dog looked at him as if she understood what Caleb wanted of her.
Caleb grabbed his hat and stepped outside, immediately pelted by the slashing rain. He clamped his hat more firmly to his head and strode toward the barn. Lightning flashed. A bit of white to his right caught his attention. He turned and squinted, waiting for the next flash to illuminate the area. It came and he saw sheep gathered in a tight knot. What were they doing here?
Then he saw a black center amid the white. Another flash and he could make out the figure of Lilly. She was trying to get those silly animals to shelter.
But at least she was safe. He was so relieved he grinned as he jogged to her side. “Where are you taking them?” he called close to her ear.
“The shed on the side of the barn.”
“Let’s do it.” He went behind the little flock and pushed at them as she led the way. They reached the barn, lightning flares showing the way to the shed. One by one, they managed to get the sheep inside, and then they closed the door.
It was quieter in there, and drier. He shivered in his damp clothes.
She made her way to his side. “Thank you. I couldn’t get them to cooperate. Silly things. Especially after a bolt of lightning came within inches of us. You should have seen the fireball.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” A blaze of light allowed her to see him clearly. “You’re soaking wet.”
“Yup. Might have been raining out there.”
She snorted. “It’s coming down in buckets.”
“Is everything battened down?”
“As best I could.”
“Then let’s get back to the house.” He took her arm. There was no way he would let her slip away and disappear into the storm for any reason.
“Teddy’s alone?”
“Blossom is with him.”
He pushed open the door, pulled her to his side and then, after making sure the door was firmly latched behind them, they dashed across the yard. They splashed through puddles they couldn’t see, not realizing they were there, until the water slopped about them. They reached the house and Caleb pulled Lilly inside.
Blossom woofed gently, a greeting rather than a warning.
Lilly took off her slicker and hung it by the door. Caleb shook his hat and put it on the nearby cupboard to dry, and then stood there dripping.
She eyed him up and down. “You’re certainly wet. What provoked you to go out in the storm without protection?”
“You.”
“Me? But I wasn’t even here.”
“Exactly. Didn’t you realize how close the storm was? A couple of times the thunder sounded at the same time as the lightning hit.” He was cold and wet and more than a little annoyed at the way she was regarding him, as if he’d acted foolishly. “You were gone far too long. I thought I might have to rescue you.”
Her eyes softened. “From what?”
“The storm, of course.” He’d worried in vain, it appeared. But remnants of his concern filled his mind. He caught her by the arms. “You could have been struck by lightning.”
She shuddered. Stark fear filled her eyes. “I had to take care of the animals.”
He pulled her close and then remembered he was wet, and held her inches away. “They’re all safe and sound, and so are you.”
She nodded, beginning to relax, and stepped back. “You must be cold. Come to the stove.” When she kicked off her wet footwear, he did the same. He tipped his boots over the slop bucket to drain, and then padded after her.
She tossed wood into the stove and filled the kettle. “I’ll make some of Ma’s special tea. It will prevent you from getting a chill. She says it helps ward off a cold. It tastes just fine with a spoonful of honey. It’s good for you.”
Why was she rattling on at such a rate? Did his concern make her nervous? He watched her for a sign of what she was thinking, but she banged about in the cupboards, pulling out a tin of tea leaves and a small brown teapot.
Finally she looked at him, but only long enough to sigh at his wet state. “Here. Sit down.” She pulled a chair close to the stove and then dashed into one of the rooms off the kitchen, returning with a thick gray woolen blanket. She draped it about his shoulders and patted it into place. “You really should take those wet things off.” Her cheeks flamed bright red at her words.
“I’ll be fine. I’ve been wetter than this and survived.” Without anyone fussing over him. Not that he minded. Her touch on his shoulder, her concern about his well-being warmed him more thoroughly than did the fire.
She stared at the kettle and then shifted her attention to the window. “I believe the storm is moving away.”
He listened. “I believe you are correct.” Lightning still flashed, but the thunder sounded distant. And the rain settled down to a faint patter. It had been a brief storm. It had come and gone in minutes, though it had felt much longer.
She brought her attention back to him and he smiled.
“You don’t like storms much, do you?” he said.
She shuddered. “About as much as cats like water.” The kettle boiled and she bustled about making tea that she let seep for several minutes. She poured them each a cupful and stirred in generous spoonfuls of honey. “Here, try it.”
The blanket slipped from his shoulders as he took the cup and she rearranged it, tucking it about his neck so he could drink and not lose the warmth.
He sipped the hot drink. “It’s good.” He meant more than the tea, but he wasn’t about to confess that aloud. “I’ve never tasted anything quite like it. Dare I ask what’s in it, or will that ruin it for me?”
She chuckled. “Depends how fussy you are.” She waited for him to answer.
“If you stop to consider that for months I’ve been making my own meals, mostly over a campfire, you’ll understand I’m not the least bit fussy.”
“Okay, then, I’ll tell you. The main ingredients are rose hips. I’m afraid I can’t tell you the other things Ma puts in it or she’d have my hide for revealing her secrets.”
It was his turn to chuckle. “Wouldn’t want that.”
She grinned at him, her eyes sparkling so much it seemed as if the skies had cleared and the sun had come out. “Let me assure you it wouldn’t be pretty.”
He sucked back another mouthful of tea and almost choked in his haste to dismiss his fanciful notions. “Has your Ma always been a healer?”
“A healer? Why that’s a very nice way of describing her. Much kinder than some descriptions I’ve heard.”
“Really. Like what?”
She studied her cup, from which she had yet to take a drink. “A lot of people consider her odd. Actually, they consider both my parents odd.” She looked past him. “I’ve even heard it said that they stole us or somehow caused us to suddenly appear out of nowhere so they could have children. Some have said awful things about Ma and Pa and about us.” She grew fierce. “People can be so cruel.” Her gaze returned to him, full of sorrow and regret. “I’m sorry. I guess you know that better than most.”
His fingers tightened around the cup. He knew he must have appeared angry.
She’d take it to be about Amanda’s murder, and it was. But distress raged through him at the way people had treated Lilly and her parents. “Do people still act that way toward you?”
She shrugged. “Mostly they accept us. People have come to value Ma’s medicinals.”
Blossom sat up and barked, looking toward the door.
Both Lilly and Caleb hurried to the window to see an approaching wagon, Mr. Bell guiding the family home through the gloomy dusk.
Lilly hurried to the door. “You’re back safe and sound.” Pa helped Ma to the ground and Rose scurried from the back.
“It was a cold, wet journey home,” Rose moaned.
“You appear to be dry.”
“’Cause Pa saw fit to bring along some canvas. He’s the only one who is wet. Pa, get inside and get warm.”
Lilly stuck her feet into her boots and dashed outside. “Yes, Pa. Rose take Ma inside. I’ll tend the horse.”
Rose hustled their parents inside while Lilly led the horse away. A few minutes later, she hurried back to the house and went right to her father’s side. He was sitting before the stove, now in dry clothes. Rose poured him a cup of the hot tea.
“I hope you don’t get a chill,” Lilly said.
Pa waved away her concern. “I’m right as rain.”
She grunted. “Not sure how right the rain was.” She told her family about the lightning on the fence as she had been trying to get the sheep to safety.
Rose hustled to her side. “Lilly, you might have been killed.”
“Guess it wasn’t my time.”
“God protected you,” Pa said. “I pray He will always protect my girls and now Wyatt.”
“What about me?” Teddy sounded hurt.
Pa patted his head. “Well, that goes without saying, doesn’t it? I will always pray for you and your papa.”
Teddy nodded and settled back, his new pet resting her head on his knee. The boy had a look of such contentment on his face, Caleb was tempted to forget about the crutches at his son’s side.
Could Teddy learn to be happy and productive with only one good leg?
Caleb ducked his head, hoping no one would notice the way his jaw had clenched and his lips had pulled down.
How could he think of staying here with Teddy in his present state? He stole a glance at Lilly, who hovered by her father’s side.
It had been a purely selfish thought because he liked the idea of becoming a permanent part of this family.
He drove the admission away as quickly as it had come. Hadn’t he failed enough people already? Hadn’t he vowed to never let himself care for another person? It would only give him another chance to prove his inability to protect them.
Despite his vow, despite his fear and caution, Lilly had cracked open his tightly locked heart.
He would leave except he needed the job and he needed the Bells to help with Teddy. Surely there was no harm in enjoying Lilly’s company and the comfort of her family for a few days.
What could possibly go wrong?
Chapter Thirteen
The rain stopped before they went to bed, and the next morning the sun was warm. By the time they left for church, all but a few puddles were dried up and the day promised to be glorious.
Lilly sat in the back of the wagon with Rose, Caleb and Teddy. The youngster bounced up and down, peering ahead. “Are we almost there?”
She’d never known a child so eager to attend church, though it was all she could do not to bounce up and down as well for an entirely different reason. Ever since the storm yesterday, her nerves had twitched with an awareness of Caleb. Glibly she put it down to coming so close to being struck by lightning. But she knew it was more than that.
It had begun when he’d come looking for her, concerned about her safety. The feeling had grown more intense when he’d pulled her close, stopping just short of holding her against his chest. She understood it had been because of his wet clothes, but she wouldn’t have cared if she got a little wet. Well aware that she was treading perilously close to the dangerous precipice of caring more deeply for him than she should, she had covered him with a blanket, her fingers lingering one second longer than was necessary to secure the wrap.
Seeing him across the table, helping him with Teddy’s care, observing the way he tenderly dealt with his son, had all added one hot coal after another to her feelings. Finally she wondered if she could contain—let alone control—them any longer.
They entered Bar Crossing at that point, so thankfully her thoughts were diverted. She watched the familiar buildings pass.
Church would give her something to think about besides Caleb. She’d concentrate on the sermon and that would make her forget everything else.
But she soon realized that was easier said than done. Again, Teddy made sure she walked in beside him and his father and he sat between them. He turned to whisper to her, “I like this church.”
“Me, too,” she whispered back. “Pastor Rawley is a very kind man. Mrs. Rawley is Ma’s best friend.”
His smile lit up his face. “I like them, too.”
Lilly stifled a chuckle. In Teddy’s mind, any friend of Ma’s and Pa’s was a friend of his. She glanced up at Caleb, seeing by the way he grinned at her that he’d heard the conversation and come to the same conclusion.
Their gazes locked long enough that Rose jabbed her in the ribs and whispered, “Stop making eyes at that man. Have you forgotten you’re in church?”
Heat raced up Lilly’s neck and she ducked her head as if needing to smooth her gloves. She could only hope Caleb hadn’t heard Rose. But her sister was right, and she again vowed to concentrate on the service. Thankfully, at that moment Pastor Rawley went to the pulpit and announced the first hymn.
Lilly turned to share Rose’s hymnal, but Rose had already offered it to Lonnie on her other side. That left her no choice but to share the book Caleb was holding toward her.
Their fingertips brushed under the cover. Her throat tightened so much she squeaked out the first note, but she cleared her throat and continued. She had always enjoyed singing, especially with her sisters. Wyatt couldn’t carry a note in a bucket, but Caleb’s deep voice echoed in her ears in perfect harmony. She could go on singing with him all morning.
But after two more hymns, the song service ended and Pastor Rawley announced the text. She’d brought her Bible, as had her sisters and Ma and Pa, and she shared the Book with Caleb.
It was smaller than the hymnal and his fingers didn’t just brush hers, they maintained contact throughout the reading. For the life of her, she couldn’t concentrate on the words.
What was wrong with her? She had never felt this way before. Certainly not around Karl. Why, the few times he had sat beside her in church, he’d kept his hands on his thighs and shaken his head when she’d offered to share the Bible or hymnal. It had always made her feel isolated, as if he had built a wall around himself that he didn’t want her to breach.
There had been moments when she’d minded, but on the whole she’d welcomed the distance between them.
Not so with Caleb. Unfamiliar feelings bubbled inside her. A longing to touch and to be touched, to be held, to have no barriers between them. Those longings were exciting but at the same time, frightening. She knew the pain of being left behind. The feeling of not being enough to make people stay or have any regard for her feelings. Blame always came from her heart—she must have done something to drive them away. And she always vowed to do better, be better.
Most of all she promised herself to never again care so much.
She’d broken that promise. She cared about Caleb and his son so much it hurt. And it would hurt a thousand times more when he left. She pressed her fingers to her lips. Let anyone who noticed think she was moved by the sermon, though she couldn’t have repeated a single
word of it.
All she really heard was the final “Amen.”
She rose and followed the others out, answering Teddy’s questions, responding to the comments offered to her. But inside, she concentrated on telling herself how things would be. She’d allowed herself to care for both Teddy and Caleb, but no one would ever know to what depth.
After dinner at home, with Cora, Wyatt and Lonnie also in attendance, her older sister edged forward on her chair. “I’d really like to go to Chester’s Pond this afternoon. It’s such a lovely day, and who knows how many more chances we’ll get. What do you think?” She looked at Pa for permission.
Pa nodded. “It’s a nice afternoon for an outing. Ma and I can have a long lovely nap while you young people enjoy the day.”
Caleb looked uncertain, as if he didn’t expect to be included in the invitation.
“You, too, of course,” Cora said to him.
“How far is it?”
“Take the wagon,” Pa said.
Lilly and her sisters made short work of the dishes and packed a little snack. “It’s tradition,” Lilly explained to Caleb and Teddy. “We always have a picnic of sorts.”
Teddy grew so excited he was in danger of falling facedown as he swung back and forth on his crutches.
Cora and Wyatt went to get the wagon, while Rose and Lilly gathered everything they’d need for an outing. In a few minutes they were loaded in the wagon and on their way.
Wyatt drove with Cora beside him. They followed the river for a few miles.
“You two rode together the last time we went,” Lilly pointed out.
“Last time we were there, I kissed Cora.” Wyatt’s voice was husky.
Cora shook her head. “I thought I kissed you.”
They laughed together.
Lonnie shook his head with mock disapproval over the way his brother adored Cora. “Well, I found an arrowhead.”
“Papa, maybe I’ll find one, too. Will you help me look?” Teddy’s eyes widened with excitement.
“We’ll all help you look,” Lilly promised. “We’re almost there.”
