Pippa giggled.
‘Why would Jack exaggerate?’
‘I said I was fond of you. I am, but I’m also smart enough to see when the road I’m travellin’ leads to a dead end. Rhys Bradford is back now, riding number one. It would have felt like getting kicked in the teeth twice, if you see what I mean.’
‘I thought he’d fired you when I found out,’ Pippa confessed.
‘No. He did try make me stay, you know.’ He shrugged. ‘He was already upset and now, seein’ you here and not in the sticks, I think I understand why.’
Pippa looked down at her hands.
‘I couldn’t stay, Finn. I couldn’t be his secretary and – well, you know.’
Finn nodded, his expression sombre.
‘Aye, I know. I knew it the day before the National that it was comin’ soon. You and Jack, like.’
Pippa snorted mirthlessly and watched one of the gallery’s staff members turn the Open sign on the door to Closed.
‘There’s no “me and Jack” now. I haven’t heard from him since I left.’
‘Well, now that’s probably because Jack can be a stubborn fecker. The word on the ground is he’s been a horror to work for lately. A couple of lads threatened to leave so yer head lad told Jack to take a break. Last I heard a couple of weeks ago, he was in France, hagglin’ over some horses for old man Mardling.’
Pippa looked at him sharply.
‘He’s in France?’
‘Aye. Been there for a fortnight, I believe.’
Pippa laughed, half in disbelief, half in relief that at last Jack had a plausible reason for not getting in contact.
‘But he doesn’t know how to speak French. How will he cope?’
Finn grinned and tweaked her chin in a tender gesture.
‘It’s really quite endearing just how much you want to look after Jack, you know. Just how much you –’ He cleared his throat. ‘Jack doesn’t know what he’s missing.’
‘My, my, my,’ drawled Tash, sauntering over to them. ‘If it isn’t my favourite scoundrel, Finn O’Donaghue.’
He grinned.
‘A’right there, Tash?’
‘Hello, Finn. Long time no see.’
‘To be sure. Too long if I may say so.’
‘You may say so all you want.’
Pippa smiled at Tash, hearing just how flattered she was by the Irishman.
‘What have I done to deserve such friendliness?’ he carried on, looping an arm around each girl. ‘A useless waste of space that I am.’
Tash shook a finger at him like a schoolmarm.
‘Now we’re not going down that road again. You’re not useless. Remember, you were once the fastest and most victorious sperm out of millions.’
Finn laughed, more in surprise than anything else. He nodded to the drinks table.
‘I know I’m late for the show, but do you think they’re still serving?’ he asked.
‘Let’s go see if we can get you something,’ Tash said, taking his arm and leading him away.
Pippa hesitated as she went to follow. A hazy memory stirred.
Vous voulez autre chose à boise – the voice in the background when she and Tash had gone to get sloshed.
‘Jack’s in France,’ she whispered.
Chapter Forty-Six
Pippa tunelessly accompanied Avril Lavigne to the desperate sound of Wish You Were Here. She stared forlornly at the opposite wall where Morning Stables was precariously balanced on a tatty armchair. ‘Damn, da–’
‘PIPPA!’
She stopped at Tash’s exacerbated cry from outside the room.
‘Yes?’
Tash opened the door, her face a mixture of exasperation and pity.
‘Pippa, sweets, I am sick to death of that song. Can we listen to something other than Avril Lavigne wailing over her lost love? Please?’
Pippa’s look of gloom corroded even further at the thought of upsetting Tash.
‘Sorry,’ she mumbled. She leaned over and turned down the volume on her CD player.
Tash gave her a sympathetic smile and sat down on the bed next to her.
‘You must have played that song about a hundred times these past few days.’
‘Sums up how I feel though – desperate.’ She looked down at her lap and listlessly pulled at a loose thread on her pyjama hem.
‘Listen, Pip. There’s something I need to ask you.’
Pippa saw anxiety cloud Tash’s usually twinkling eyes and she nodded understandingly.
‘You want me to move out? I know, I’m sorry. I was just going to wait for Hazyvale’s sale to go through before –’
‘Move out? No! Christ Almighty! I’m not going to kick you out!’ Tash laughed and squeezed Pippa’s hand.
Pippa gave a relieved smile.
‘Okay then. What’s the matter, Tash? You look really worried.’
Tash chewed her lip.
‘I got a call. From Finn.’
‘Finn?’
Tash shifted uneasily on the mattress.
‘Yeah. Well, you know how he arrived at your art exhibition the other day and the time before when he got shit-faced after the Gold Cup?’
Pippa nodded.
‘The thing is, see, I got to liking Finn. A bit.’ Tash looked fearfully at Pippa. ‘All right, quite a bit, but I knew he only had eyes for you.’
‘Tash!’ Pippa giggled. ‘I knew you thought he was a dish. I didn’t think you like-liked him though.’
Tash shrugged, looking abashed.
‘But then at the art exhibition, while you were there thinking about Jack, I got chatting to Finn and well, you know, we got on. He makes me laugh.’ Tash smiled sheepishly. ‘And he just called and asked me out.’
Pippa gasped.
‘Finn asked you out?’ She laughed, part in disbelief, part excitement. ‘That’s wonderful, Tash!’
‘Really? You’re not mad, or upset, or – or anything?’
‘No, of course not,’ Pippa grinned. ‘Why would I be?’
‘Well, with everything gone pear-shaped with Jack, Finn was yours for the taking and...’
Pippa shook her head.
‘Absolutely not. I don’t like Finn like that, I don’t think I ever have. And besides, Finn would never have been mine for the taking when he knows how I feel about Jack.’ She sighed. ‘How I feel about Jack, well, that shouldn’t have any influence on you and Finn.’
Tash grinned.
‘Thanks, Pip.’ Her smile faded though when Pippa’s expression deflated at the thought of Jack. ‘You still think it was him that rang that night?’
‘Who else could it have been? I mean, I just presumed it was someone in a French restaurant here in UK, but are there really any restaurants here that authentic where the waiters actually speak French to the customers? It had to be in France. But no one else I know of would call me from France. It has to be more than a coincidence that Jack was there at the same time.’
‘You know what you’ve got to do then, don’t you?’
‘What?’
Tash settled herself more comfortably on the bed so she was facing Pippa.
‘Think about it – it’s gone past midnight, he’s in a country where he can’t speak the language, he’s got someone plying him with alcohol – he’s missing you.’
‘And I answer the phone sounding like I’m having a whale of a time and blurt out Ollie’s name,’ Pippa said with regret.
‘Exactly. Now, put yourself in his shoes. Would you come after you if you had just heard all that?’
Pippa shook her head.
‘No, I guess not.’
‘Which means you’ve got to go after him!’
Pippa’s eyes widened as Tash’s words hit home.
‘I do, don’t I?’
‘Yes! Go set the record straight.’
Pippa scrambled off the bed.
‘Otherwise he’ll never know the truth.’
‘Precisely! Go get your man, Pippa!’
S
tanding alert in her creased pyjamas, trying to decide whether she should put some clothes on first, Pippa’s shoulders drooped as doubt once again sparked inside her.
‘But what do I do? What would I say? Do I just knock on his front door and declare my love for him?’
Tash blinked, not seeing her dilemma.
‘Yes.’
Pippa flopped back onto the bed again.
‘I can’t do that. It’s just not me. I wouldn’t know what to say.’
Tash glanced at the CD player from where Avril Lavigne was still baring her soul.
‘Why not quote Avril? You said it’s how you feel.’
Pippa raised a small smile and shook her head.
‘I couldn’t. It would make him feel awkward too. And it would put him on the spot.’
‘Well, call him then! Give him some sort of forewarning so he can prepare himself.’
‘I don’t have his number,’ she said, shaking her head sadly. ‘I deleted it.’
‘Oh, you muppet.’ Tash looked at her impatiently and stood up. ‘Pippa, you’re going to have to make the first move here. He’s not coming after you – he shouldn’t have to come after you. You left him, remember?’
‘I know.’
A black cloud of gloom enveloped her, seeping damp into her bones. ‘I’m just not as brave as that. Not just yet, anyhow.’
Tash tutted and walked away. She stopped by the doorway.
‘Don’t leave it too long, Pippa.’
Pippa sighed and fell backwards to stare at the ceiling. She let the tears trickle out of the corners of her eyes. Why was she being such a coward? Why couldn’t she take a leaf out of Bridget Jones’ Diary and run into the snow in her underwear and nab her Mr Darcy?
She rolled over and buried her face in her pillow. Because it’s all a fantasy, she told herself severely, and fantasies are so easy to be brave in when you’re assured a happy-ending. Reality really does bite.
The following day, Pippa tried another form of counsel. From Tash’s thirty-two-inch plasma screen in the lounge, Billy Crystal look imploringly at Meg Ryan and listed all the reasons why he loved her. Pippa wanted to cry. This wasn’t the desired effect she was after. Why couldn’t Jack love her for the way she ordered a sandwich? Why couldn’t –
The front door slammed, interrupting When Harry Met Sally.
Pulling herself up on the couch and shaking herself from her failed therapy session, Pippa peeked over the backrest towards the front hall. Tash appeared in the doorway.
‘Don’t you answer your phone?’ she exclaimed, her arms flailing.
‘It’s charging in my room,’ Pippa replied, taken aback. ‘Why? What’s wrong?’
‘I’ve been trying to get hold of you. Finn has been trying to get hold of you.’
‘Finn?’ Pippa sat up, alert as a meerkat. ‘Why’s he trying to call me?’
Tash ignored her and marched through to the spare room. Pippa clambered to her feet and hurried after her. They bumped into each other in the bedroom doorway. Tash held out Pippa’s phone.
‘There. About five missed calls. He ended up having to call me.’
‘Tash! What’s happened? What’s wrong?’ Pippa cried, starting to panic.
‘Peace Offering’s ill! Finn said it was serious. Something about colic and they didn’t know whether you could afford the cost of surgery.’
‘WHAT?’
Tash thrust a pair of shoes and a coat towards Pippa.
‘Nobody can get hold of you. Peace Offering might not make it! You have to go!’
Pippa gulped and stood rooted to the spot with fear.
‘He’s going to die?’ she whispered.
‘I don’t know!’ Tash said, pushing her towards the front door. ‘Get down there and find out!’
‘He can’t die! Oh, God!’ She hopped on one foot to pull on her shoes.
‘Hurry, Pip!’ Tash tossed her her handbag and car keys. ‘Let me know as soon as you hear anything.’
‘Okay!’
Pippa practically slid down the two flights of stairs and out into the late Sunday afternoon sunshine. Everything looked so serene and so relaxed, basking in the warm spring weather. It seemed impossible to imagine Peace Offering fighting for his life at Aspen Valley at that precise moment.
Fear leant her strength and she raced down the uneven pavement towards her car.
As the M25 fed into the M4, Pippa put her foot down. The Beetle rattled in protest and the speedometer quivered in indignation as it rose above seventy. Pippa clenched the wheel in whitened fists to control the shuddering. The lane ahead was thankfully free-flowing and soon exits for Slough then Reading were flashing past in her rear-view mirror.
The descending sun blinded her and she flicked the visor down. Images of Peace Offering filled her mind. Peace Offering lying on his side, heaving and sweating, gasping his final breaths.
Pippa wasn’t sure exactly what colic involved, but she knew it was dangerous to horses. She imagined Jack and the vet, Alan Warnock, standing over her horse, shaking their heads. Of Jack saying,
‘We can’t get hold of her. Best let’s put him out of his misery.’
The speedometer crept higher.
Pippa reached into her bag on the passenger seat and retrieved her phone. She tried Finn’s number. The moisture in her throat evaporated as each unanswered ring peeled in her ear.
‘Oh, come on, Finn!’ she pleaded. Finally, his voicemail cut in. ‘Finn, it’s Pippa! Please call me back! Don’t let them kill Peace Offering! Please! If he needs surgery, I’ll pay – I promise!’
Saying the words out loud brought home the situation for her and a renewed flood of panic swept through her body as she hung up.
Such a darling horse as Peace Offering couldn’t die.
Gritting her teeth, she picked up her mobile again and scrolled through to Aspen Valley’s number. Her heart hammered in her chest as she pressed Connect and held it up to her ear. The pumping adrenalin gradually calmed as the office phone remained unanswered. She pictured the deserted office, the desperate ringing unheard by the sombre crowd gathered outside Peace Offering’s stable.
She cut the call and scrolled again through her numbers. Kent Garage, Kurt Morrison, Jade Chinese Takeaway, Jayne Gurney.
‘Dammit!’ she cried, throwing her phone down on the passenger seat. ‘Why did I bloody delete his number? Don’t you dare let him die, Jack! Please save him!’
The birds singing their last chorus in the oak tree at Aspen Valley’s entrance rose squawking into the air as Pippa’s Beetle tore into the long driveway. The dust cloud in its wake infused with the gold rays of the setting sun. She skidded to a halt in the car park and hurtled out, nearly falling flat on her face as her heel caught in the gravel. The office was closed, no light shining from its windows. The whole yard was deserted of human life.
‘Hello? Anyone?’ she called.
Inquisitive equine heads appeared over their stable doors, but no humans emerged. She ran over to Peace Offering’s box. The sharp ringing of her heels on the concrete brought more horses to their doors, but as she approached and Peace Offering’s door remained void, her heart quickened. She was too late. She clung to the top of the half door, her eyes misting over when it creaked open. Inside, the floor was swept clear of habitation.
Was this the end? No more Peace Offering? Had she lost him as well as Jack?
She shook her head. She wouldn’t believe it. Not until somebody was able to convince her.
‘Anybody?’ her desperate plea resounded about the block.
Only a snort from the next door stable replied. Pippa shielded her eyes and looked at the neighbouring hillside where Jack’s house lay just out of sight. Taking a deep breath, she turned and ran back to her car.
Her heart seemed to adopt a salsa rhythm on speed when she drove over the rise and Jack’s barn conversion came into view. The sun reflected off the silver paintwork of his Land Rover parked by his front door. She took a moment as she got out
to steady herself, feeling her legs quake. Then, pulling herself together, she scuttled up to his front door and leant on the doorbell.
She heard Berkeley bark from within, but no approaching footsteps. Maybe he was at the vets signing Peace Offering’s death certificate? Did horses get death certificates? Panic fluttered through her and she banged on the door, bruising her knuckles in her urgency.
‘All right! I’m coming! Just –’ The door was wrenched open and Jack choked on his the angry greeting when he saw Pippa.
‘Oh, thank God you’re here,’ she gasped, closing her eyes. ‘I thought you were at the vets signing his death certificate!’
Jack looked at her as if she’d dyed her hair green and suggested they both go chase butterflies.
‘Pippa? Wh-what?’
She looked up at him with wide desperate eyes.
‘Am I too late? Is he dead? Did you save him?’
‘Who? What are you talking about? What are you doing here?’
‘Peace Offering, of course! Finn said Peace Offering was dying. Is he okay? Please tell me he’s okay!’
Jack stared at her and steadied himself against the doorframe.
‘Yes, he’s okay. Well, he was the last time I checked about an hour ago. He’s in the paddock on the other side of the drive there.’
Pippa gaped.
‘He’s not dying?’
‘No, he’s not dying. What on earth are you talking about?’
Pippa chewed her lip and squirmed in her shoes. She gave Jack a suspicious look. He looked puzzled and ever so slightly irritated. He didn’t look like he was lying.
‘But Finn said...’
‘What the hell does Finn know? He doesn’t even work here anymore!’ Jack said, looking exasperated. ‘What is going on, Pippa?’
Relief that Peace Offering was alive and kicking was very quickly replaced by the realisation of her friends’ deception.
Jack glared at her, his arms folded across his chest.
‘A misunderstanding, I think,’ she said quietly. ‘I think Tash and Finn tricked me into coming here.’
Jack swallowed. He stood silently defensive.
‘You needed tricking?’
‘No,’ Pippa was quick to contradict him. ‘Well, maybe, but not how you think...’ Her voice trailed away when she saw Jack’s eyes darken. ‘Jack, I –’ Why was it so hard, so terrifying to tell him how she felt? Her mind turned back to the conversation she’d had with Tash the day before. She took a deep breath and hoped it had worked for Avril. ‘I thought I could be tough. And strong,’ she said falteringly. ‘But with you I’ve found that I’m not. I – I can’t stop thinking about things you’ve said and times we’ve shared. You’ve always been you and well, I miss that.’ She tried to read the set expression on his face.
Keeping the Peace Page 40
