by Emma Jaye
“I have a vascellum?” he asked again, just in case he’d misheard.
A frown creased Shanae’s forehead. “Yes, dear. That memory recall really messed with you didn’t it? Did you have trouble recalling things as a child?”
He blinked at her again.
Her expression oozed condescension and pity. “Don’t worry, dear, we’re all going to look after you. Because you agreed to give evidence against Fabian, they pardoned you for compelling Finn so you could bond him. It’s just peachy the way it’s all worked out, don’t you think? And he loves you so very much.”
Ezra’s elbow found Jericho’s gut and he took off running.
A familiar voice shouting, “Leave him,” only added speed to his frantic run.
CHAPTER 8
The sandy path wound through trees and past picturesque small houses, each separated from the next by a span of immaculate lawn.
How long has it been since I ran? The way his muscles moved smoothly said it hadn’t been as long as he remembered. He hadn’t kept up with his exercise routine since Silas left.
And judging from the shout behind him, Silas was back again. Ezra didn’t want to hear his honey lies, didn’t want to fall under the vampire’s spell again. Right now, Ezra had control of his own mind, his own movements. But if he remembered correctly, the vampire was a hell of a lot faster than him. Just like always, Silas continued to play with him for his own unfathomable reasons.
It didn’t take long to work out the vampire’s strategy as the path opened out into a view of another beach. Ezra slowed to a walk. His legs and lungs might be fine, but the ache in his chest proved he might not be as fit as he thought.
Eyes on the horizon, Ezra sat on the sand. He had nowhere to go, and no more options than he’d had in the cellar. Still, he welcomed the view and the warmth.
A body sat beside him but he didn’t turn to look. The sandalwood scent identified Silas. Talking about this situation would allow the smooth vampire to wheedle his way back under Ezra’s skin. He stayed quiet, watching the waves break on the uncaring shore and absently rubbing at his chest.
“That ache’s because you’re away from Finn. There’s a proximity component to the bond. I’m sorry you had to find out like that. We’ve got our fingers crossed your memory will come back with time.”
Ezra didn’t reply. He thought about flinching when Silas’s arm went around his shoulders and pulled him into his side. He didn’t.
“We can sit here all day if you like, but Avery will need to bring him over so he’s not in pain.”
“My hair’s shorter, so’s yours.”
“Fashion changes. Hem lines go up and down, but these modern fabrics are comfortable,” Silas replied, not seeming to be bothered by the change of topic. When Ezra kept quiet, Silas carried on. “Population’s gone up. There are around seven billion humans on the planet now, and a lot less of us supernaturals. Particularly your lot. You’re still the youngest as far as we know. That’s why, when you found Finn, the only known vascellum–”
So that’s why they’re going to all this trouble. Not for me, for the vascellum.
“Can I swim?” Ezra asked, not looking at Silas. “Because I couldn’t as a child.”
“I don’t know. Up until a few days ago, I thought you died that night. Pixie probably knows, I’ll ask.”
Instead of getting up as Ezra hoped, Silas reached into his pocket and pulled out a flat shiny black rectangle.
“What’s that?” Ezra asked.
Silas held it out. “Latest Apple iPhone. Got it a month ago.”
Depression washed over Ezra. Silas could have been speaking a foreign language for all he knew.
“And you have no idea what that is. Sorry. It’s for talking to people at a distance, sending messages, retrieving information. With this, I can access more information than is in the British library.”
Silas patted his shoulder. “And you’ll either get your memory back, or you’ll learn it all again. I’ll call Pixie.” Silas swiped his finger over the shiny surface and it came to life in bright colours.
A second later, Pixie’s anxious voice came out of the device.
“Have you got him?”
“Yes, we’re just sitting on the beach, chatting. He’s a bit overwhelmed, but he’ll be fine. He wants to know if he can swim.”
Fine? He thinks I’m fine? Ezra got up. He didn’t need a little talking box to tell him if he knew how to swim; a whole ocean stretched out in front of him.
“Not while he’s got open wounds on him he’s not,” Pixie ordered.
“He swims like a fish, just like me, but he’s not alright he’s–” The young man’s voice turned into a groan as Ezra stumbled.
That’s him, that’s the vascellum. Finn. The one whose life I stole on purpose. Just like the vampires did to me. How could I do that?
Righting himself, Ezra ran the few feet to the water, and as he’d seen in Brighton, he dived into the waves. The movements came naturally, his body remembered even if his mind didn’t. He wondered what else this body had done that his mind had shut out, what else it would do unless he stopped it now.
Sex demons, like vampires, were parasites on humanity. They used them, abused them and gave nothing back. The world would be a better place without them, and it appeared he was their last hope.
“Ezra, don’t go too far. You might be a swimmer, but I’m not,” Silas called.
The waves were quite gentle, nothing like the surf he remembered as a child, so he kept on going. “Hey, are you listening to me? Finn’s panicking, he–”
The news that he was distressing someone he didn’t remember meeting, who’s life he’d ruined, only increased his resolve. No one should suffer because of him, not now, not in the future. If he died, in a few hundred years, they would be no more sex demons to suffer, no more addicted humans.
A reverberating noise to his left made him glance over as he headed out to sea. A small boat, with four people in it raced toward him faster than he thought possible. He recognised two of the figures immediately by their hair, Pixie and Amtai. He couldn’t see the man at the back clearly but his focus had been stolen by the young man at the prow.
He’s so young.
Without taking a breath, Ezra ducked under the water, pulling away from the surface as hard as he could. The deeper he went, the more chance there would be that they wouldn’t find him before he drowned; more chance that if he did panic, he wouldn’t be able to make it back to the surface.
Anguish spiked through his body, but he kept on going. He felt Finn’s pain in every fibre of his body, but there wasn’t an alternative.
It’s for the best, don’t fight it, relax. That his thoughts matched Silas’s words all those years ago as the vampire drugged him was almost too ironic.
His ears and chest hurt as he pulled his way down through the darkening water. Then he cursed himself for a fool; he was still holding his breath, prolonging the agony for both himself and the poor innocent Finn. Opening his mouth, he watched the silvery bubbles of life rush upwards.
From screaming at the violent movement he’d forced out of them, his limbs became heavy, relaxed. Floating, peace enveloped him, and although he’d rather be looking out over the sea than being under it, a sense of freedom took him. Ezra embraced his fate, euphoric that he’d achieved what Silas hadn’t, the end of his pain.
A pair of sinuous dark shapes appeared as his vision faded, and he hoped the sea creatures would get some use out of his body. He didn’t need it anymore.
CHAPTER 9
Via his phone, Silas guided them to Ezra’s general position. The pain in Finn’s chest dissipated as they got closer. Finn sat in the bow, directing the boat until he saw Ezra steadily moving through the water toward the horizon.
He pointed, shouting out to his love.
Ezra’s flash of recognition, followed by almost visceral devastation, made his heart stutter. Without hesitation, Ezra ducked under the surface. Finn’s admir
ation of his demon’s fluid movement morphed into horror as he knew, he knew Ezra’s intention.
“Finn? Finn what is it?” Pixie shook his arm.
“He, he wants to die,” Finn whispered, eyes glued to the spot where his beautiful demon disappeared.
Both Amtai, and her husband, Selat, dived into the water, transforming into seals as they hit the surface.
His body moved of its own volition, but he only got one leg over the side before Pixie pulled him back. “That’s not going to help. If you go in they’ll try to help you too, rather than concentrating on him.”
For someone so tiny, her strength amazed him, then again, she wasn’t human.
The waves were serene, uncaring. Ezra’s emotions blended in perfectly.
Please, please.
Every muscle and nerve stretched to breaking point as he scanned the surface, heart in mouth.
Come on, find him, bring him back, he doesn’t want this, not really. Or he won’t when he remembers.
Ezra didn’t come up; neither did the shifters. Every second felt like an hour, his lungs screamed, and his vision tunnelled. He wants this so much. Caught up with Ezra’s death wish, Finn reached for oblivion too, needing to help his demon whatever it took. Even though he wasn’t drowning, every breath felt like the last... until it was.
A sharp slap to his face had him opening heavy eyes. Pixie’s frantic face swam into view.
“Don’t you dare give up. Listen to me, he’s alive. You’re still breathing so he’s alive. You need to work hard now, push positive at him, no matter how you feel. Got it?”
Finn blinked up at her, still not able to take it in as he lay on his back in the gently bobbing motorboat. Searching for Ezra’s presence through the bond, he felt nothing, but there wasn’t a void. Pixie was right, Ezra still lived, but he didn’t want to. The satisfaction Ezra had felt just before he lost consciousness haunted Finn.
“He wanted it; he really wanted to die. Why?”
“We won’t know for sure until we get back to the beach. Stay with me, and I’ll get us there quicker. Got it?”
“Finn, are you with me?” Pixie scanned his face, her own tense. “I can’t get us back to shore, get you back to him, until I know you’re not going to stop breathing again.”
Her words slowly sank in. “I stopped breathing?”
She pressed her lips together, tears shining in her eyes. “Yes, sweetheart, you did. But when Amtai started Ezra’s heart again, you gasped. They’re on the beach.”
Finn’s eyes were drawn to the shore, perhaps two hundred metres away. Several figures stood around a body on its side on the beach. Their body language screamed either depression or anxiety.
Milo stood a few feet away from Ezra, one hand on each of Gethin and Glyn’s chests. Finn couldn’t hear what they were saying, but they were gesticulating at another figure who stood alone, his eyes fixed on Ezra’s still form. Silas. The vampire must be blaming himself for Ezra’s near successful suicide attempt. That was fine. Finn blamed him too.
Ezra had been bewildered since he woke up after his testimony, but he hadn’t wanted to die until just now.
“Get us over there, Pixie, now.”
The fae’s eyes widened. “Yes, sir, and keep that attitude; he needs it.”
By the time they got to the beach, the crowd had grown, and Ezra had been wrapped in a silver blanket designed to retain heat. Climbing out of the boat, Finn splashed through the knee-deep water as all eyes turned to him.
“Finn, you alright?” Milo called as he and the shifter brothers turned toward him. Avery put out his hand, holding them at a distance.
“Give him space; he’ll need to reconnect with Ezra as soon as possible.”
Yes, he did want to hold Ezra, to snuggle up and prove to himself with touch, scent and body heat that his demon still breathed, but as Pixie said, Finn’s heart still beat, therefore, so did Ezra’s. Instead of giving in to the impulse to throw himself at his demon, Finn stomped straight up to Silas and shoved the vampire hard in the chest.
“What the fuck do you think you were doing?” he shouted and shoved the demon again, even though the vampire didn’t move. That his puny human strength couldn’t even make the demon rock back on his heels pissed him off even more.
“Finn, calm down. He didn’t do anything; it was–” Avery grabbed his arm, but Finn shook it off.
“And you, you can stay away from me too. Don’t think I don’t know you want to take his place. ‘Cos that’s never going to happen.”
Finn turned to Milo as Avery tried to deny the obvious. “Let’s get him back. And this time, I’m staying with him, no if’s, but’s or excuses.”
“Not on your own. You can’t be on your own with him,” Silas said.
Finn’s anger flared. “And why’s that? You might have known him a century ago, but I’m in his damn head.” He poked his own forehead hard to prove the point. “He fooled you enough that he got out there.” Finn flung his arm in the direction of the water.
Silas looked down at his feet and then back up at Finn. “My dear, you might be able to feel his emotions, but you don’t have a clue what’s going on in that head of his. Everyone who experienced his memories does.” Silas turned to Jericho. “You were there, care to explain what set him off? I’ve got an idea, but I’ve no proof.”
“Silas, he doesn’t need to–” Avery attempted to interrupt.
“No, he needs to hear this. If he’s confident enough to confront a vampire, he’s got the balls to hear what he’s in for. He’s not just an ordinary human.”
Silas focused back on him, sympathy leaking from every pore. Not for the first time, jealousy flared that this far more worldly being knew Ezra better than he did.
“Finn, Ezra tried to kill himself, knowing he’d take you with him. That even might have been the point. He considered his own life an acceptable price to take you out of the world.”
Finn couldn’t get past what his ears were telling him. He turned to look at the still body a few feet away.
“Me? He did it to kill me?”
Jericho’s voice rumbled out. “That succubus, Freya, told him about you, then Shanae said about using him to make her witches live longer while helping sex demons conceive.”
A hand landed on his shoulder and he realised time had passed as he stared at the perfect flesh now marred by gritty sand. Ezra shouldn’t be dirty. Ezra should be perfect. But he wasn’t. Neither was he. He couldn’t be if Ezra wanted to kill him so badly.
“Finn,” Milo said, “at the end, in the cellar, which was yesterday for Ezra, he wanted to save other humans from being addicted to him. Several lost their lives, by what he thought was his hand, because they wouldn’t leave him when he unintentionally addicted them. He hated himself, hated his race, for it. He never wanted to be a functioning sex demon. He asked Silas to kill him when Fabian suggested using him to make more sex demon children in the way he was conceived, by force. And I expect when he found out...” Milo trailed off.
“Your death could mean the end of his race, which is what he wants. No more sex demons would suffer at the hands of others, and no more humans would suffer at the hands of his kind.” The sadness in Silas’ voice cast an even deeper pall over the gathering in the bright sunshine.
“I’m not suffering because of him, I’m–”
“You are now,” Silas broke in to his denial. “And he’ll be able to feel that and he’ll be blaming himself.
“He fooled me, talked about technology, about the world as it is now. I thought he was trying to find out about modern life because he wanted to live in it.” A wry smile teased his lips. “Same old manipulative bastard, some things never change.”
“So, how did he go from wanting to die in the cellar, to compelling Finn to bond with him?” Milo asked. “It’s like his attitude flipped completely. If it happened once, maybe it can happen again.
“Time and no contact with other supernaturals.” Finn didn’t think he’d ever he
ard Pixie sound so tired, so defeated. “I think I was the first non-human he’d met in fifty years and he only tolerated me because I’m fae and he couldn’t feed from me. I don’t think he had a clue about what bonding entailed when he did it to Finn, his mother was the only sex demon he’d ever met and she–”
“–Was an utter embarrassment to our–” Avery said, only to be interrupted in turn by Gethin.
“Fucking selfish bitch.” His brothers nodded their agreement. Under other circumstances, Finn might have smiled at the blunt description in such august company.
After glaring at her pair of interrupters, Pixie carried on. “But over the years with only being around humans and me, Ezra became more confident, and got a little more swagger. Instead of wanting to be under the radar the whole time, he wanted more. I found out his mother had passed and named him as heir to the Brighton territory. I persuaded him that coming back might work, that he might not have to live in poverty for the rest of his life. You know sex demons, they all like a bit of bling.”
Finn glanced over at Avery who shrugged and nodded. “Wealth attracts humans, it’s a natural instinct for us to be as attractive as possible.”
Pixie carried on. “After no one bothered us for a few decades, his confidence grew, he bought the shop under the flat, cars, became better known in wealthier circles. When he realised you weren’t just another one-time meal, Finn, he–”
“Dropped his principles for a chance of more money, more status?” Finn finished, a sour taste in his mouth. Accepting Ezra’s demonic nature still proved tricky at times.
“But that was before he knew you, before he–” Avery started.
Finn glared at the incubus who looked perfect even in this fucked up situation. “Before he realised bonding would put me in his head as well as him in mine?”
Avery’s features were still devastatingly attractive even when he frowned. “No. I meant before he knew what love meant. I can’t say he would have gone ahead with the bonding if he’d known all the consequences, but I can’t say he wouldn’t have either. Ezra has lived his whole life without genuine affection, he–”
