I’m finishing up some reading and going to bed early. How about you?
There was a long pause, and I wondered if he didn’t want to tell me.
I was going to see if you wanted to hang. But maybe I’ll try to catch up on some homework, too.
Sounds like a good idea.
See you this week?
I sat looking down at the screen as a shot of warmth ran up my middle.
Definitely.
***
“AND IT IS finished.”
I shut my laptop, rolled over onto my back and stretched. I’d been wrapped up in this research paper for Behavior Disorders for weeks, and having it done made me want to dance.
Liam turned around in the desk chair to look down at me. Without discussing it, we’d each found our own study spots when he came over to hang out with me: I spread out either on my bed or the floor, and he sat at my desk, since he didn’t have the same need to sprawl that I did.
His eyes roamed down my body, and I was suddenly, uncomfortably aware that my back was arched, my breasts straining against the t-shirt that was pulled tight by my stretch. He didn’t say anything that would violate the friendship rules, but I saw his mouth tighten.
I brought my knees up to my stomach, hugged them with both arms and rocked to a sitting position, wincing a little as my tailbone hit the hard tile floor beneath my throw rug.
“Do you even do yoga?” Liam raised one eyebrow as he watched me.
“Me? Um, well, I did. Sort of. I had to take a PE class freshman year, and that’s what I took.”
“So are all these pants left over from that one class, three years ago?” He leaned over and pinched a piece of the stretchy material that covered my knee.
“Some are. And some I’ve bought since. Why?”
He grinned, shaking his head. “Because. I figured you probably were really into it, since you’re always dressed like you’re going to a class. It would be like me wearing a football uniform all the time and not even being on the team.”
“Hey! That’s not true. Yoga pants are more of a fashion choice than a work-out uniform. They’re comfortable for when I’m just laying around and doing homework. And besides, I’m not always dressed in them. Just when I’m staying in my room.”
“You wore them when we went over to Beans last week.”
I gave an exaggerated sigh. “Because you said we were just going over there to grab coffee and bring it back here. And then we got there and you said you changed your mind, you wanted to stay and drink it there.”
“Yeah, because we’d been cooped up here for three hours and I wanted to make sure humanity had not disappeared from the earth.”
“If you had told me we were going to sit down there, I would’ve gotten changed into real clothes.”
“No, if I’d told you I wanted to drink our coffee there, you would have whined about it and sweet-talked me into just bringing you something back to the dorm. You weren’t getting out of your yoga pants either way.”
I stuck out my tongue. “I don’t sweet-talk you into anything. And if you don’t like my yoga pants, you ...” I paused. I had been about to say, he didn’t have to come study with me anymore. But I realized that wasn’t what I wanted. “ ... you don’t have to look at me,” I finished weakly.
Liam swung his legs back around to the front of the chair and stood, stretching his arms over his head so that his tight t-shirt rode up, revealing his solid abs and the teasing line of hair that disappeared into his shorts. I dropped my eyes and tried to think about anything else. Liver and onions. Jellyfish on the beach. A cold shower.
“But I like to look at you.” He nudged my leg with his foot, making words that might have crossed the line to suggestive sound more like something a pal would say. “I wasn’t complaining. I was just curious. You’ve never talked about doing anything physical.”
I flashed my eyes to his face to see if he were teasing me, but he only looked interested, and not in a leering way. “What do you mean, physical? Like sports? No, I barely made it through gym class in high school. I hated it.”
“No biking, dance class or tennis?” He frowned.
“Nope. We never had money for dance classes. I rode my bike when I was a kid, but then, I don’t know, I just didn’t have time. And tennis—” I shuddered. “Balls flying at my face are a definite no-no. Same with volleyball.”
“How about badminton? No balls, just an innocent little birdie.”
“I got through it in gym. But it seemed stupid to me. Why all the questions about my lack of sports prowess?”
He lifted one shoulder. “I don’t know. I know Julia is into it. I’m surprised you’re not.”
“I’m Italian, Liam. Italian girls don’t like to get sweaty or break nails. And Julia just likes to watch sports. Although I think she played softball in high school.”
“She plays tennis, too. We played a few times last summer when she came to visit at my parents’ house.”
I dropped my eyes. It shouldn’t have bothered me when Liam casually mentioned time spent with his ex-girlfriend. After all, I’d lived through their relationship, albeit from the other side. None of this was a surprise to me. I knew how things had ended, and I didn’t have a speck of worry that Liam was still interested in Julia or vice verse. Over the last two weeks, they had settled into a sort of détente that was neither easy nor uncomfortable. Liam tended to come over to our room on the nights Julia was staying with Jesse, and if she were planning to stay at the dorm, he usually suggested that we meet at Beans or the student union.
But still ... it was a cold and hard fact that on the surface at least, Julia and Liam had more in common than he and I did. While Julia’s family wasn’t involved in politics and didn’t have quite the same kind of money that the Baileys did, they were comfortable. I knew she only still lived with me in the dorms because I needed the RA gig to help with my room and board. She could have moved into an apartment off-campus, but she hadn’t.
And why did this even matter to me? Liam and I had carefully stuck to our friendship pact since that morning at Jeff’s house. He hadn’t tried to touch me beyond a joking poke in the shoulder or elbow to the ribs. If on some level it hurt that he didn’t even attempt anything more, that was clearly just an indication that I really was messed up.
“Hey. Earth to Ava. Did you hear me?”
I managed a smile. “Sorry. I zoned out for a minute. What did you say?”
Liam’s mouth turned down, and his forehead drew together. “I asked if you wanted to come to my track meet Thursday.”
I bit my lip. “I don’t know, Liam. Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? I don’t remember any mention of not attending each other’s sporting events in the rules.”
“Because ... because Julia used to go to all your meets. And some people might think it’s strange if I showed up now.”
Liam gripped the back of the wooden chair, leaning to the side. “Julia used to come, yes. When she was my girlfriend. You being there won’t be strange to anyone. Giff’s probably going to come, too, if that makes you feel any better. And I don’t care what some people might think. They can go fuck themselves.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Well, that was oddly aggressive.”
He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it standing on end. “Sorry. My mom and dad have been on this ‘what will people say’ kick again. It just pisses me off. I mean, who cares? Everyone believes what they’re going to believe, right? I can’t control that.”
I nodded slowly. Liam’s relationship with his parents was complicated, I knew, and lately any mention of them seemed to make him tense.
“What time on Thursday?”
“Hmmm?” He looked down at me, confused.
“The track meet. What time is it?”
“Oh. Ah, four o’clock.”
“Okay. I’ll be there.”
“Really?” His face lit up, and a thrill clutched my chest that it mattered
that much to him. That I mattered that much.
“Sure. I mean, sweaty guys in shorts running, jumping, throwing heavy stuff? What’s not to like? I can’t promise I won’t ogle, but I’ll try not to embarrass you.”
He lifted his eyebrows. “You’re going to check out other guys?”
I grinned. “Is that a problem, friend?”
Liam sighed and rubbed his face. “You’re going to kill me, you know that, right?”
“What do you mean?” I cocked my head.
“Nothing. I gotta go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
SPENDING A SPRING afternoon at a college track meet was not the worst use of my time, I decided as I climbed up the bleachers alongside the track. The sun was warm, the breeze kept it pleasant, and the place was swarming with tall young men in various states of undress. I watched one of them strip off his t-shirt, his muscles tensing and stretching with the effort beneath his tanned skin.
Yeah, not bad at all.
I scanned the area for Liam, but I didn’t see him right away. The visiting team, dressed in black and gold, warmed up in the middle of the field, and the guys from Birch were trickling out of the locker room slowly but surely.
“Hey, peaches, enjoying the show?”
I grinned at Giff as he dropped down next to me. “You know it. I’m beginning to think I’ve been missing something all this time. Who knew all this hot testosterone was coming together right here on campus? It should be part of orientation.”
“Yeah, they could save all the school spirit crap and just show footage from the meets. Girls would be here in droves. And some guys.” He bumped his shoulder against mine.
“Speaking of which, is Jeff coming?”
“Nah. He’s working until seven.” Jeff had a job off-campus, working at the hardware store his uncle owned. Between those hours, his school work and his spot on the wrestling team, he was a busy guy.
“So it’s just you and me. Cool. I don’t have to pretend to be all feminist-savvy and act like I don’t care about all the skin showing out there.”
“Never around me, sweetie. I might be taken, but looking’s free.”
The coach of the visiting school gathered his team around him. Birch seemed to still be straggling onto the track, though some of them were stretching already.
I knew the minute Liam came out. We were too far away for me to see his face, but I recognized him by the way he moved, that stride that was both relaxed and aware. The white team shirt he wore was just tight enough that I could see the broad expanse of his chest, and the sleeves gave me a tantalizing view of his toned arms. His legs below the burgundy shorts were long and knotted with muscles, covered with a dusting of fine brown hair that I couldn’t see from here.
My eyes followed him as he joined the rest of his team, standing with his hands on his hips and listening to the coach. When the older man clapped once, they all dispersed around the center of the track, warming up in small groups. Liam joined two other guys at the edge of the grass and began stretching, extending and flexing his legs.
He turned so that he faced us for the first time, and my heart sped up a little as I felt his eyes searching the bleachers. I could tell when he spotted me by the way he froze for just a few seconds. My mouth went dry, and I would have sworn I could actually feel him touching me, a line of heat spreading from my center up over my body. When he turned around again, I leaned back against my elbows and released a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.
Next to me, Giff shook his head. “You two ...” He sighed. “One of these days, I’m going to sit you both down and knock your heads together until you see sense. Or maybe lock you in a room. Jeff says I need to let you find your own way, but I’m losing patience.”
My face still burned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“And that’s exactly what I mean. You walk into the room, and his eyes never leave you. When you don’t think he’s paying attention, you look at him like he’s the last truffle in the box. You’re both so damned stubborn.”
“Giff, it’s not that simple. We’re friends. Let’s be happy about that. The last few weeks have been the most fun I’ve had in a long time, because we just hang out, talk, study ... it’s the best I can do.”
He snorted. “Sure it is. I just hope you don’t let it go too long. I’ve never seen Liam act like this about any girl. I thought Jules was pretty special, but you know, he was just going through the motions most of the time. When he talks about you, there’s a tone in his voice ...” He glanced over at me and shook his head. “Forget it. Minding my own business now. Look, the first event is starting.”
Liam ran the 800 and the 1500 meter races, and then he was part of the relay. I stood up with everyone else, screaming for him, clapping madly when they won. I watched him bend over at waist, his shoulders heaving with the effort of catching his breath. He raised his head and looked straight at me, eyes hot, mouth parted as he panted. With every fiber of my being, I wanted to cross the track, take his sweaty head between my hands and cover his open mouth with mine. Thrust my tongue between his lips until he lowered me to the grass ...
“Ava? You okay, peaches?” Giff slung an arm around my shoulder. “You look like you’re about to pass out. Here, sit down.”
As I sank back onto the cold metal bench, I heard the two girls behind me sighing. “Oh my God. Liam Bailey can do me any time. He’s the hottest one out there, and it has nothing to do with running.”
“Yeah, I bet he’s got endurance ...” They both giggled.
I closed my eyes. Listening to them reminded me that I’d be crazy to think about Liam as anything but a friend. He was miles out of my league. Plus, there was the little fact that I wasn’t looking for entanglement, even if the reasons why were unclear just now.
The meet ended, and Giff grabbed my arm. “Come on. I’m going to say hi to Liam before he goes to the locker room.”
He stood at the chain link fence, leaning his arms against the rail as he watched us approach. I hung back a little, letting Giff take the lead.
“Nice job, bro.” Giff fist-bumped him, and Liam grinned.
“Thanks for coming. Not bad today. What are you doing now?”
“Heading over to Jeff’s. I’m going to try to make dinner for when he gets home from work. Jules gave me a recipe for mac and cheese that she swears I can’t screw up. I guess we’ll see.”
“Cool. See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, see you.” Giff glanced back at me. “Bye, peaches. Remember what we talked about.”
I nodded, moistening my lips nervously as Giff loped away. When I finally looked back at Liam, he was staring at my mouth. The unguarded want in his eyes shot straight to my core, and I couldn’t breathe. I reached for the cool silver bar at the top of the fence and held on with both hands, just to keep from sinking to the ground in a puddle of need.
“I’m glad you came.” His words, low and husky, didn’t help me at all.
“So am I,” I managed to say. “You looked good. I mean, the runs. The races. The meet.”
Liam straightened and slid his hands so that they covered mine on the fence. His skin was hot on the backs of my fingers, and I wanted to moan when he rubbed his palms lightly over my knuckles.
“Do you have any plans? For the rest of the day, I mean. For tonight.” His voice sounded strained, and I glanced into his face. His jaw was clenched as though he were holding himself in tight control.
“Um ... nothing. No plans.”
“Want to go have dinner with me? I just have to grab a shower and change.”
I nodded. “Okay. Sure. I can do that. Do you want to meet me some place?”
“No, I’ll pick you up at your room in half an hour, all right?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t move. The weight of his hands, still holding mine, kept me in place.
“Hey, Ava?”
“Yeah?” I repeated.
“Wear that skirt, okay? The black one from Jeff’s party?”<
br />
I swallowed hard, sure I was about to spontaneously combust. I wanted to make some flip remark about how friends didn’t make wardrobe demands like that, but I couldn’t do it. Instead I just nodded again.
“I will.”
***
LIAM KNOCKED AT my door about twenty minutes after I’d left him at the track. I was just slipping on shoes.
“You’re early,” I greeted him.
He shrugged. “Motivated.” He swept his gaze down my body, and his lips curled in appreciation. “God, you look good.”
I gave him a teasing smile. “What, this old thing? Someone I know told me to wear it.”
I’d paired the same tank and skirt as I had at Jeff’s party, but since we were going to a restaurant tonight instead of a barbecue, tonight I wore strappy black heels. I had to admit, my legs, which I always thought were stumpy and short, looked good.
Liam had dressed up, too. The khakis were pressed, and the blue polo matched his eyes. His hair was still damp from the shower, and before I could stop myself, I reached up to flip one light brown curl out of his eyes.
The minute I touched his skin, Liam grabbed my arm in a grip of steel. “Don’t,” he breathed. “Ava, I’m trying. I’m trying to stick to what you want. Friendship only. But right now, it’s hard to remember why.”
I couldn’t speak. My tongue was paralyzed as he slid his hand down my arm and then held me by the shoulders.
“At this minute, all I can think is that I want to back you into the wall, lift up that skirt and drive into you. Wrap your gorgeous legs around my waist, with your heels still on, so I can feel them against my back. Fill my hands with your tits, suck your nipples into my mouth. Pound myself inside you until you come so loud and hard, you scream my name loud enough for the whole building to hear.”
My pulse was beating so fast that I felt it throughout my body. I knew if I made one move, I’d pull Liam’s mouth down to mine and then everything would happen just as he had just said.
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