“Well, you’re my friend’s older sister and I always felt uncomfortable around you because you… well, you’re really pretty, and I always wanted to kiss you but I couldn’t, so I took your advice and became someone else so I can kiss you.”
He edged forward with his lips puckered. Katie edged back and not-Darryl almost lost his balance.
“You’re a nice guy, Darryl, and I like you a lot – as my brother’s friend, that is. But, um, well–” Where should she start? She couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth and demean him, but she didn’t want a repeat of this moment happening ever again either. “You’re my brother’s best friend and it would make your relationship with him strained if we were together.”
“Would it? I don’t think he would mind.”
“He would mind, believe me. Yes. Very much.”
“Oh.”
“I would hate to put you in a difficult position, having to choose between me and him. And you should always choose him. Always. Because friends don’t come along every day.”
“Right. It’s for the protection of the brotherhood.”
“Brotherhood?”
“The mystical bond between boy friends. Not boyfriends. I mean, friends who are boys.” He couldn’t meet Katie’s eyes. “I’m sorry it couldn’t work out between us.”
Someone cleared their throat. “Am I interrupting?”
Aaron stepped from around the trellis and into a spotlight of the moon.
Katie was so embarrassed she could die. Ground, please swallow me up right now.
“No,” Darryl said. “I’m just about to leave.” He turned to Katie, grabbed her by the shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. “I know it’s hard, but nothing can come between two men in the brotherhood. Perhaps someday, but not today.” He genuinely appeared to believe what he was saying.
Katie was gobsmacked. She had no words.
Darryl passed Aaron on his way out. He stopped, went up on tiptoe – still an inch short of looking him in the eye – and glowered. At least, Katie thought it was meant to be a glower. “You take care of her, you hear? If you lay a finger on her, actually or figuratively, I’ll be on you like a ton of bricks.” He stared intensely a moment longer until even Katie felt uncomfortable.
Aaron looked from Darryl to Katie and back again. “Okay…”
Darryl shrank to his normal height and left.
Aaron turned to Katie. “Is this something I should worry about?”
“Only Darryl’s sanity.”
“The boy’s got issues.”
“Haven’t we all?”
“Not worn so blatantly on our sleeves, we don’t.”
“Maybe some of us should,” Katie said stiffly. “It’d make understanding each other’s motives a lot easier.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
Katie didn’t know. Whatever was wrong with Darryl was catching.
In her heart, she felt the same powerful feelings as when she thought she was going to die. Now, they were muffled and lacked vibrancy. Perhaps it was only her close proximity to death that made the emotions seem so much stronger than they really were. Or maybe it was because she was secretly afraid of Aaron?
And what about her promise to herself to seize the day and do everything she ever wanted? What happened to that?
Katie licked her lips. Aaron’s attention was drawn to her face when she did that, so she drew a little confidence from the fact he probably liked her too. “I was really worried when you and grandfather left us.”
Please don’t make fun of me while I’m at my most vulnerable, she thought.
He stepped closer. “I know how hard it is to think you might lose a family member.”
This is it. Be brave. “It wasn’t losing grandfather that worried me.”
Aaron couldn’t meet her eyes. “I was worried too.”
“You were?”
“Of course I was.”
Katie smiled. She wore a fake mask of concern. “About me, right? Not Tanya?”
Aaron threw his head back and barked a laugh. “Yes. About you. She’s… not my type.”
Katie grinned. “And what is your type?”
“Smart, sassy, sophisticated.”
“Well, that rules me out.”
“And sexy as hell.”
Katie swallowed as he edged even closer. She couldn’t look away even if she wanted to. And boy, did she not want to do that.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” Aaron said.
Katie threw up her hands. “I knew it. There’s something wrong with you, isn’t there? What is it? You’re married? You’re not over your ex? Or maybe you were born a woman?”
Aaron chuckled. “None of those things. But just as bad.” He turned serious. “You shouldn’t come near me.”
“Why not?”
“Serious relationships aren’t my forte. You’ll only get hurt.”
Then we’ll have an un-serious relationship, she was about to say but stopped herself. She wasn’t sure what she wanted. Would she be happy with that? What did ‘un-serious’ even mean? She needed to be clear with the terminology before she felt comfortable hurling herself into something new.
Who was she kidding? It would be her first real relationship, nothing like the childish ones with the boys she dated before, but with a real man. Looking at him now, she was amazed someone like him would want someone like her.
“What is your forte relationship-wise?” Katie said.
“Fun is my forte. And the truth is, I’m not sure your grandfather would approve of me dating you.”
Katie sniffed. “Who says I want to date you?”
Aaron arched an eyebrow. “You don’t want to date me?”
“Of course I do! I don’t understand what the problem is. Why is my grandfather’s opinion important to you?”
Aaron took a seat on a small garden bench. He looked up at Katie and his big eyes sent her heart aflutter once more. He tapped the bench beside him and she sat.
Like a dog. She frowned.
“Bill was like a father to me.”
“My grandfather? A dad? Pull the other one.”
“I’m serious. He was. My dad died years ago and he was there to take care of me.”
A horrific thought, straight from the pulp horror books she used to enjoy reading as a kid, popped in her head. “My grandfather and your mum… Did they?”
“What? Oh God, no.” He shivered. “If he did, he’d be a real dad, and that would have ruined our relationship.”
Katie felt a flicker of annoyance in her gut. “How could he treat you so well and yet be so mean to his own son?”
“Because he was your father’s son. I never tried to compete with your father. I would never try and even if he did do something like that, I wouldn’t have put up with it. Your dad was family. Family forgives. No matter what. Or, almost no matter what. There always has to be a line. He loved your father more than words could express. He wanted him to go off and do something else, to be someone he wasn’t. To not join the military. To not have kids too young… But your father made all the same mistakes your grandfather did. He could see the life your father was throwing away – the life he wanted for him.”
Katie had never looked at it that way before. “My dad didn’t want that life.”
“I know. But it doesn’t change the fact it was what your grandfather wanted for him, and every time they met, it reminded him of his failures and disappointments with life.”
Katie wasn’t even sure her grandfather was capable of such deep thoughts. “My dad never regretted what he did with his life. He only regretted that grandfather never accepted he wanted to be just like him.”
“That, to your grandfather, is the biggest disappointment of all. He doesn’t want anyone to be like him.”
“He was his son.”
“Especially his son.”
It was a lot to take in. It felt like they were talking about someone else, someone she didn’t know. Was every
one so complex as this? It made her head spin to think everyone could contain so many layers.
“You can’t tell him I told you this. He’d kill me.”
“It doesn’t make much difference now. My dad’s dead.”
“But your grandfather isn’t. And now that he’s spending more time with you and your brother, I get the feeling he’s looking for someone to fill the gap he always had with his son.”
Katie shook her head. “What does this have to do with us?”
“Your grandfather wouldn’t accept you dating someone like me. I’m too much like him too, in his eyes.”
Katie thought about that.
Aaron leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “So even if we wanted to be together, we couldn’t.”
Katie thought about what Aaron said a moment longer before finally opening her mouth to speak. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint him too. I am my father’s daughter and I know what I want. It’s not some pencil pusher who works in an office. I want a man with strong hands who uses them every day. I want a physical man.” These words were hard for her to say but the following words would be the hardest. She licked her dry lips. “I want you.”
No sooner were the words out of her mouth than he covered her lips with his own. The kiss was strong, passionate, and they were both panting before it was over. His lips were softer than she expected. And dry. A quick lick of her tongue soon sorted that out. Her lick was a starting gun and he leaned forward and wrapped his muscular arms around her and pulled her close. She felt his heart pound against her chest, heavy and hard. They drank from each other so deep that she could hardly get her tongue out of her own throat. She ran her hand over his shorn head and he did the same through her long dark hair that reached down to her shoulder blades.
They parted, gasping for air. Then they shared a smile. A moment they both imagined and it lived up to expectations.
Katie caught movement out the corner of her eye. They both turned.
A rock formed in the pit of her stomach at the sight of Old Bill looking in at them from the trellis doorway, and the shocked and disappointed look on his face. How long he’d seen standing there, she didn’t know. It didn’t much matter whether it was two minutes or two seconds. He was crestfallen and turned to leave.
“Bill–” Aaron said.
Katie grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back. “Don’t follow him. He needs time to think.”
Aaron was torn. Chase after the man who’d become like a father to him or stay there with the girl he loved.
Katie clutched him close. Her grandfather knew how much of her father was in her, and he would know she wouldn’t give up without a fight.
Not in a million years.
49
Katie was nervous about speaking with her grandfather for the rest of the day. Butterflies battered her from the inside every time she caught sight of him. There was no chance he was going to take kindly to her affections with Aaron. She promised herself she would stare him down and tell him she was old enough to see whoever she wanted.
But still, those butterflies would not cease their endless fluttering. It was two hours since she saw Bill in the garden, and she’d seen him twice in the castle’s corridors since, but she couldn’t go on ignoring him forever.
Eventually, she would have to speak with him about what he’d seen, and if she had no choice but to do that, she preferred to do it on her terms.
She searched the castle, moving from one room to the next. He wasn’t in the dining hall, nor in either of the two front rooms. The cooks were still hard at work on the next day’s meal preparations and she scuttled away quickly before someone snagged her to do some work for them.
She overheard his voice in a room she never visited before. The door was ajar so she figured it was no secret meeting she was intruding upon. Bill and Geronimo were bent over a map and muttered to each other, trailing fingers over a map.
Katie knocked softly on the door.
Bill turned to see who it was. There was no disguising the unease he felt in her presence now. Geronimo looked between the two of them before Bill nodded.
“Geronimo shall leave you to it.” He drifted past Katie without comment and shut the door behind him.
“Have you found a way to get up to the lodge?” Katie said.
“Yes. Geronimo will take us to the river with an armed escort. A boat will be waiting for us by the riverside and take us most of the way north. As far as Nottingham. From there, we’ll continue on foot.”
It was a simple plan, and as her father liked to say, there was always less that could go wrong with a simple plan.
Katie clutched her hands tight. You can’t get much simpler than speaking bluntly to someone’s face.
“I need to talk with you,” Katie said.
Bill searched her face and immediately drew back. He collected the maps and rolled them up. “We have nothing to discuss.”
“You saw us–”
Bill drew up to his full height. His full intimidating height. “You’re your own woman now. Just make sure to use protection. You don’t want to have to live with a mistake for the rest of your life.”
“He’s not a mistake. He’s a–”
“I can see what you see in him. A formidable warrior with not a hint of cowardice. He’s honest, fair, just. All the things we are not.”
He tucked the maps into a plastic container and slipped it into his backpack. He hadn’t bothered unpacking.
“We?” Katie said. “We’re nothing alike.”
Bill snorted. “You and I are the same, no matter how much you rail against it. But you can tell yourself little lies if you want.”
Katie ground her teeth. “I said–"
“We’re leaving in the morning.” Bill picked the backpack up and braced it with a single strong arm. “All nine of us.”
“You got the others to join us?” Katie said. The news was muddying her emotions. “How did you convince them to come?”
“They know this isn’t where they belong, even if they wish it was. If they stay here, their skills will turn rusty and they’ll get fat. They’ll become everything they despise. They belong out there, in the wild. We all do.”
Katie’s emotions battered against one another. Elation at their family coming together again, confusion over how he handled her and Aaron’s budding romance. Then something about what he said tickled the hairs of the back of her neck. “Nine? You said there were nine of us leaving in the morning?”
“I did.”
“There are ten of us.”
“One is staying behind.”
One? The ones most likely to stay were the twins, and she doubted one would stay without the other. The same was true when it came to her brother and Hannah. Jodie was a potential until she considered how adamantly Hannah stuck to her side and treated her. She was as likely to leave her behind as her own arm.
Aaron, then? Her heart quickened at the thought of it. The way he looked at her in the gardens wasn’t the expression of a man who would say goodbye soon…
Unless her grandfather had a word with him? To convince him to stay behind while the rest of them pressed on? No. They needed trained men and Aaron was one of the best they had.
Her grandfather then? He saw himself as the captain of their group. He wasn’t about to let them go without their head in charge.
Then it came down to two. Herself. Or Ella.
She gasped and wrapped a hand over her mouth. The moment she put those two options on the table, she knew the answer.
“You wouldn’t!” she said.
“She’ll be happier and safer here,” Bill said. “They have a larger community – at the moment – than we will when we first get started – and they have a school and lots of children for her to be friends with, grow up with, and learn with. I hear she’s very smart.”
“She’s happier with me.”
“She’s happiest wherever her little dog is, and he’s staying here with
her.”
Katie scowled at him. “And so will his yapping.”
“A bonus.”
“I won’t let you do this. You can’t.”
“I’ve spoken with Geronimo. He’s graciously accepted our request. She’ll have a good home here. Safe, warm, plenty of food, water, and company. She’ll be happy.”
“She’s my responsibility. Not yours. Or anyone else’s. Mine.” Her argument wasn’t getting any traction. “Then let her decide. Us or them.” Katie felt confident she could win that decision.
“She’s an eight-year-old girl. Far too young to make such an important decision. We must decide what’s best for her and put aside our selfish desires. Take some time to think about it and you’ll come to realize I’m right.”
Bill sat at the desk like he owned it and started writing notes.
Katie hadn’t moved and stood staring at him, incredulous that he could be so cold. She pressed her fists on the desk and glared at him. But there were no more words to say. She was wrong and he was right, and that was the end of it.
“Does she know?” she said.
“I thought it best you tell her,” Bill said. “You do have a connection with the girl.”
Bill scribbled his notes. She was as good as dismissed.
“We’re leaving in the morning,” Bill said. “I suggest you make your farewells now.”
Now?
50
Katie made three laps around the castle before she could bring herself to enter Ella’s room. She knew she was in there. She stood at her door and listened, knuckle raised, perched and ready to peck. But the humming she heard coming from inside broke her heart, a merry little tune she never heard before. She pressed her hand against the door and shook her head, unable to do what had to be done.
In the end, it was Scallywag who triggered her decision. She heard him sniffing at the gap under the door, scratching at it with his front paws.
“Scallywag!” Ella marched over with thudding footsteps. “Come over here! I need to finish combing you!”
Scallywag was more interested in the person standing behind the door to care. That’s when Katie knocked.
“Hang on,” Ella said.
Cut Off (Book 2): Cut Throat Page 16
