by J. D. Mason
* * *
It took hours for her to fall asleep. She kept expecting to hear the phone ring, but it didn’t. He loved her. He’d convinced her of that. Why would he go through all that trouble to do that if he didn’t mean it? He’d said himself that he didn’t have time for games. No. Something was wrong. Or at least, it wasn’t right. She needed to speak to him. That’s all. Abby rolled over and tried not to cry. She tried so hard. But in the end …
Got ’Til It’s Gone
ABBY HAD LEFT SEVERAL messages over the course of the last few days, and Jordan hadn’t returned any of them. Lonnie Adebayo would have her redemption, one way or another. He had loved her in his own way. In his own terrible and selfish way. Her death hung over his head like the dark cloud of Claire’s. So, was it any wonder that he was still suffering the consequences of the role he’d played in both their lives?
He stood at the window of his office looking out at the city, marveling how he could be on top of the world and at the same time underneath it. Abby Rhodes had been the sweetest slice of something he could never have. Peace. Robin was right. People like him didn’t get happily ever afters. Karma wouldn’t allow it.
Lonnie had been a casualty in a long line of casualties in Jordan’s life. Whether she would ever know it or accept it, Abby was spared. Jordan wasn’t wallowing in self-pity. He was a self-made man, and he’d made himself all sorts of drama unlike anything Abby could ever possibly understand. She was not fit for his world. Deep down, he’d always known it, but he’d hoped that somehow, some way, he could’ve buffered her from the truth of the kind of man he was at the core. Hell, he’d almost had himself convinced that he had changed. Jordan hadn’t changed, though. He’d just gotten caught up in the delicious fantasy of Ms. Rhodes.
“Jordan?”
Robin, on the other hand, was a perfect fit for this life.
He turned to her standing in the doorway, looking flawless and unruffled as if the events of the last month had never transpired. Robin’s long hair was swept up off her shoulders. Her fitted charcoal-gray skirt and crisp white blouse were complemented nicely by navy-blue pumps.
“What time will you be picking me up tonight?” she asked sweetly.
In the last week, they’d fallen into their roles effortlessly. “Seven?”
She smiled. “Seven’s perfect,” she said, turning and walking away.
What Robin knew, or thought that she knew, could derail him completely. If she went to the press, Jordan could end up being more than humiliated. Gatewood Industries could have that new contract snatched out from under it, before the ink even dried. And too many people had worked too long and hard for this victory to have to suffer the loss because of his mistakes. He could end up standing trial for murder. He could end up in prison.
They were attending a reception tonight in his honor at the governor’s mansion. All his so-called friends and most devoted enemies would be there, congratulating him and smiling in his face, while talking about him like a dog when they thought he wasn’t paying attention. Robin understood this game. She knew it well, and she would have his back like a pit bull.
This wasn’t even about love. It was a merger, an arrangement for the both them. Jordan could keep his freedom and his government contract, his good name. And Robin would have her man. This was a business deal.
* * *
It was just after six. Jordan adjusted his tie in the mirror, then stepped back to take a look at the results. His phone rang. Jordan knew exactly who it was.
“This is Jordan,” he said to answer the system wired throughout his penthouse.
“It’s Abby,” she said sweetly.
The sound of her voice broke his heart.
She waited for him to say something, anything, but he didn’t.
“What’s … I don’t understand, Jordan.”
“I know, Abby.”
“Will you please tell me what’s happening?”
There was no easy way to say it. Jordan would dismiss the formality of kindness, because no matter how he broke the news, it would hurt her.
“We can’t see each other anymore, Abby.”
Jordan felt as if he’d been stabbed in the chest, but he couldn’t let her hear his pain.
“What happened? W-why?”
Jordan owed her some sort of explanation. Even if it was a lie. She needed an answer, one that hopefully she could eventually live with.
“I made a mistake with you,” he began.
“No. No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, Abby. We are from two very different worlds.”
“But we’ve known that. From the beginning, we’ve never let that get in the way of us. It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters,” he said sternly. “Robin and I talked, and we’ve resolved our issues.”
“Issues? But you said you loved me.”
He could tell that she was crying, and it tore him up inside. “I care about you.”
“No. That’s not what you said. You said that you loved me.”
“Don’t make this harder than it is.”
“I don’t think you have any idea how hard this is.”
He knew all too well. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“How come I’m starting to get the feeling that you say that to all the girls, Jordan?” she asked sarcastically.
It was a dig, a sweet and polite dig, and he appreciated her for it.
“I will miss you.”
“Is it really that simple for you? You can’t just do this to people. You can’t pull someone close to you, promise yourself to them, just to push them away when you’re finished,” she said, crying. “Is that what you said to her? To Robin?” she sobbed. “So, she wasn’t lying to me after all?”
“No.” He took a deep breath. “She wasn’t.”
“You’re not fair, Jordan. You don’t play fair at all.”
“You’re right. I don’t. But trust me when I tell you that this is for the best.”
“Not for me it isn’t.”
“I wouldn’t be doing it if I didn’t believe it, Abby.”
“Then you must know something I don’t.”
“I absolutely do,” he said remorsefully.
Abby took a deep breath. “I hate that we ever met.”
Hearing the pain in her voice when she said that felt like a punch in the chest.
“It was probably the worst thing to ever happen to me.”
“It likely was, Abby.”
“Right,” she said sadly. “Be happy, Jordan. And good-bye.”
Jordan was hollow inside, empty again, the way he’d been before he’d met her. It was the most natural feeling in the world. In the back of his mind since he’d started seeing Abby, Jordan somehow knew that it would eventually come to an end between them. It was inevitable, and now that it had happened, he was back to his old self again, and a part of him felt relieved.
* * *
Robin was in her element, ever the graceful and social beauty. She was mesmerizing in a slinky purple gown, cut low in the back, clinging to her beautiful curves. All eyes were on the two of them. Jordan played his role even better than she’d expected.
“First, the deal of the century,” one man touted to Jordan, then eyeing Robin like she was a filet mignon. “Are wedding bells next?”
She blushed, turned to him, and smiled. “I’m crossing my fingers.”
Jordan warmly kissed her forehead. She tried not to look surprised by the gesture.
These people were her tribe. She played them all like instruments, saying the right things, laughing on cue, placing a tender touch on an arm, expertly tempering warm embraces. Together, they were the perfect couple. Enough people said it until even Jordan was starting to buy into it.
“If I didn’t know better,” she whispered to him at the bar, “I’d almost think that you were enjoying being with me.”
“But certainly, you know better,” he said casually.
She mimicked an exaggerated cringe.
“There’s the Jordan Gatewood I know and love.”
“You still believe that you love me?” he asked, genuinely interested. “After everything that’s happened between us?”
Robin’s expression turned serious. “I know I do. And I know that in time, you could love me, too.”
“But what if I never do, Robin?” he asked sincerely.
Robin looked away from him, trying to hide the hurt in her eyes. He placed his hand underneath her chin and turned her face to his.
She shrugged. “I’ll either get used to it or learn to accept the lie that I tell myself.”
Jordan raised her hand to his lips and tenderly kissed it, then looked up into her eyes again.
“You’re not going to see her again? It’s over?”
He slowly nodded. “It’s over.”
She turned her head slightly to one side and eyed him suspiciously. “How do I know you’re telling me the truth?”
Jordan knew that his next words would be brutal, but Robin was a big girl. She could handle it.
“Because I love her, Robin. And ending it with her will save her from us.”
Robin glared angrily at him. “You’re an asshole.”
He smiled. “But I’m your asshole. Isn’t that all that matters?”
Robin had revealed the true nature of herself to Jordan. It was only a matter of time before she truly understood the fullness of what she’d fought for and won. She thought she knew him. But she’d only just scratched the surface. The real Jordan Gatewood had a soul as black as oil. And he was nobody’s puppet.
Alone with My Fears
ABBY STOOD NEXT TO REALTOR Luther Michaels, surveying the outside of the property.
“How many units did you say it has?” she asked.
“Nine. Four two-bedroom apartments, and the rest are one-bedroom units.”
Abby had never taken on a project of this magnitude before, and this thing needed a whole lot of work. It was a three-story apartment complex, brick, but with some serious foundation issues as indicated by the sizes of cracks through the exterior.
“I know it needs some major work, Abby, but they’re practically giving it away.”
“Is it safe to go inside?”
“Sure,” he said, leading the way to the main entrance.
She’d never considered property in Clark City before, but this was a deal that piqued her curiosity. The price was right, and looking at the place, Abby could probably even talk them down from what they were asking and get the place for damn near free.
“Are any tenants in here now?” she asked, surprised by what sounded like a television show coming from one of the floors upstairs.
“Three. They’ve been given until the end of next month to move, though.”
Clark City was almost twice as big as Blink, and once she finished renovating this place, Abby could easily find renters. Taking on a project this big could take months, maybe even close to a year, but she had time. And she needed something like this to keep busy. Keeping busy, that was the key.
“Is anybody in here?” she asked, stopping at one of the doors.
“I don’t think so,” Luther said, trying the doorknob, turning it as he pushed it open. “This is one of the one-bedrooms, I believe.”
Single-paned windows. Dirty carpet.
“What kind of floors are underneath here?”
“I’m guessing concrete maybe.”
Of course, the kitchen and bathroom were outdated. Abby walked into the bedroom and then over to the window on the opposite side of the room and stared out at a wide-open field behind the building.
“Whose property is that?”
“It comes with the building. There’s a lake just beyond those trees.” He pointed. “Pretty good size.”
“I’d like to make an offer,” she finally said.
She needed this. Abby had been in that house too long, and it was time to go.
“Sure,” he said eagerly. “They’re asking two thirty-five. It’s a great deal, Abby. Sitting on about five acres. What do you want to offer?”
There were moments when Abby evaporated into clouds of numbness where she had to remind herself to snap out of it. This was one of those moments.
“One seventy-five.” She turned to him. “Let’s start there.”
* * *
It had been a month since Abby had last spoken to Jordan. It’d only been about a week since she’d finally stopped crying over him every time she thought about him, which was pretty much constantly.
She sat in Skye’s living room, sipping on wine and waiting for Skye to play some music.
“It gets a little easier every day,” Skye said, turning to Abby. “Right?”
“I suppose,” she said, sounding pretty unconvincing.
“Wanna listen to Adele?”
“Do you wanna sit and watch me slit my wrists?” Abby asked, slightly appalled. “Put on something upbeat.”
Skye smiled, and suddenly, Macy Gray’s song “Kissed It” flowed from Skye’s Bose speakers.
“How’s that?” She smiled, sitting down next to Abby.
“Perfect,” Abby said, raising her glass to toast with Skye.
“At least you’re getting out of that house for more than just work.”
“Yeah. I’m actually thinking about moving, though.”
Of course Skye wasn’t expecting that. “But you love that house, Abby.”
“I need a different house, Skye.”
“Memories?”
“Yeah, and not all of them mine,” she said introspectively. “There’s an apartment building in Clark City that I put an offer on.”
“Clark City? Why there?”
“It’s a great deal. Got nine units, and based on market value, I could easily make five to eight hundred a month on each one. That’s good money.”
“So, if you move out of your place, are you planning on living in one of those apartments?”
“Thinking about it.”
“Do you think it’ll help?”
Abby didn’t answer right away. “This is what my life was like before Jordan. It was just me, renovating property, working, sitting here having wine with you.” She smiled.
“Teaching belly dancing to the rest of us,” Skye reminded her.
“Exactly. In the few months that I knew him, I didn’t realize how much it had all changed, how I’d changed. Things are just getting back to normal.” She shrugged. “That’s all.”
“Normal didn’t mean you were necessarily happy, though, Abby,” Skye murmured.
“I thought I was,” Abby reluctantly admitted. “It took being with him to show me that I wasn’t. I was just settled into a routine that didn’t ripple the waters much. At least, not in a way that I couldn’t handle.”
“Are you going to cry?”
Abby sighed. “No,” she said firmly. “Crying’s overrated.”
“But you don’t hate him?”
“I most certainly do,” Abby admitted. “I hate him with a passion, and I never want to see him again. But I don’t regret him. I did, but not anymore. Being with him taught me some things.”
“What’d you learn, sweetie?”
“I learned that it’s okay to be careful, but not too careful. I’ve missed out on so many opportunities in life by being too careful. It’s okay to be spontaneous, to pack a bag and take a trip. It’s okay to have a one-night stand if I want to, as long as I use precautions of course.”
“Of course.” Skye nodded and shrugged.
“Maybe I’ll meet someone one day who’ll be the man of my dreams, for real, or maybe I won’t, but how would I know if I never give anybody a chance? And if I never meet him, I’ll still be okay.”
“Do you want to get married, Abby?”
Abby thought about it. “Yes.”
Skye laughed. “I’ve asked you that question a hundred times, and that’s the first time you’ve actually given me a straight answer and not some algebraic, engineering, physicist formula that
had nothing to do with nothing.”
Abby laughed, too. “Yes. I want to be married, and before my eggs dry up, I’d like to have at least one baby.”
Skye’s eyes widened. “A kid?”
Skye had two; both of them were mercifully at her mother’s house for the weekend.
Abby nodded. “Crazy, huh?”
Skye stared warmly at her. “No. Not crazy at all.”
“But I’m going to have to hurry, Skye. I’m thirty-seven.”
“Girl, please. Janet Jackson’s fifty. You’ve got plenty of time.”
“Yeah, but I ain’t got Janet Jackson’s money, so my fifty will a whole lot different from her fifty.”
Skye grinned. “I’ve got faith in you.”
* * *
Fortunately, Skye fed her before Abby left her house. She needed food to soak up all that wine sitting in her belly. It was after ten by the time Abby made it home, showered, and sat on the side of the bed.
The floor was freezing! Why was it so cold? She looked down and saw that her feet were bare. The furnace must’ve gone out. She huffed in frustration and saw her breath. Abby walked over to the wall where the thermostat should’ve been, but it wasn’t there. Abby paused in confusion.
“What the hell happened to the—”
The sounds of crickets outside the window caught her attention, and she walked over to look out. It was pitch-black outside. No stars or moon. She realized all of a sudden that she’d misplaced something. She’d put it away for safekeeping and had forgotten where she’d put it.
“I need to find it,” she said out loud, starting to search the room with an obsession that defied logic. She opened and closed drawers and doors, searching frantically for this thing she’d lost. And the funny thing was, she couldn’t even remember what it was.
“It’s important,” she said earnestly. “So important.”
Her heart pounded as panic began to set in. Lord! Where could she have put it? How could she have misplaced something so valuable, so precious? Her memory was fading. More and more, she was starting to forget things, simple things like faces and names.
“Time’s running out,” she whispered.
