Tattooed On My Soul

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Tattooed On My Soul Page 3

by Lisa DeBells


  We all nodded in agreement. Sammy downed half her flute and sat back as if she didn’t think the next snippet of information was excitement-worthy.

  Gia started, “Okay, so the word is this celebrity couple, who may or may not have various adopted and biological children together—”

  “Brad Pitt, OMG no, I love Brangelina,” Sammy whined at this attention grabbing tid-bit.

  “Shush, girl. So the word is that one party that makes up the couple has been having an affair with a previous love interest . . . this is going to be huge in a few days, girls. It will be open season at hunting time, and I truly pity the spectacle.” Poor Gia, always taking peoples ups and downs to heart. She was truly the most innocent soul. I remember asking, once I had known Gia for some months and realized the person she was, why did she take on law?

  Her answer was to help the innocent victims, giving them a voice, and hopefully making life better for them.

  “Well I for one am not assuming anything anymore . . .” I said matter-of-factly. Melancholy threatened to rear its ugly head. I was completely blindsided by Anthony Moore. He had wined and dined me, said all the right things, and slowly made his way into my bed. I was so trusting, too trusting or naive, that I actually believed we were in a monogamous relationship.

  “Uh, yeah babe, he-who-shall-remain-nameless certainly took us all for a ride,” Ariel said as she patted my knee gently.

  Apparently Anthony, as I had found out in a quite embarrassing manner, hadn’t received the memo that we were exclusive and only dating each other. However, finding out when I took him a surprise lunch to his office proved what a douchebag he was when I caught him cocking his PA on his desk.

  In a weird way, I felt relieved that I had caught him out. It made me sick to think of the reality, he was fucking us both. But Anthony felt like the stepping stone I needed to get to this point in my life, and that point was . . . fulfilled.

  “I’m over it. That whole situation hasn’t defined me, it just makes me think next time, if there is one—”

  “Honey, you know there will be, and its probably gonna be t’night.” Sammy jumped in with her fast talking ghetto mouth.

  “Especially in that dress and those heels,” Ariel said lifting her eyebrow knowingly.

  “Okay girls, let’s just get one thing straight. Tonight isn’t about men. It’s about having fun and sticking together . . . got it?” I said as I topped up our glasses with the rest of the champagne. Holding my glass up, I made eye contact with every one of my girls: Sammy, with her dark flawless skin and waist-length black straight hair; Gia, her pale complexion and rosy cheeks glowing from the alcohol, her blond blunt fringe just brushing her eyebrows; and finally Ariel, my best friend in the world, her fine elfin features, deep grey knowing eyes and short cropped dark hair.

  We clinked our flutes, hope and mischief shining in our eyes. Nothing ever went to plan with this bunch. My belly did a little summersault at the thought. It didn’t matter how optimistic I was; the truth was, there was always some type of drama by the end of the night and by that I mean the early hours of sunrise. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one caught in the midst of the dramatics; I promised myself that much.

  The car had made it to our destination. Envy was waiting to envelope us with her music and what promised to be a huge crowd, judging by the twenty-meter line at the door.

  We spilled out of our ride, enthusiasm high. I was ready for the crazy to begin.

  Chapter Three

  As we made our way up the long line of waiting patrons to the forefront of Envy I could feel every glare and snide comment that was whispered from people waiting to get in. They didn’t have the celebrity status that two of my best friends had, and protested when the security unclipped the red velvet rope and motioned our way inside. I cringed on the way through.

  A mere six months ago Anthony and I were photographed together on the club’s opening night. It was a confirmation that we were together and monogamous, a coming-out that he was hands off. We even made it to page six of the silly tabloids, being fodder for gossip.

  It was a time when I thought I’d had life figured out. Well, my personal life, anyway.

  Walking under the lit-up ENVY sign at the bronzed double doors and then following a tunnelled entrance that had twinkling little fairy-lights dangling down, making you feel like you could touch the stars.

  Stars never burnt forever, much like all of my relationships. My stomach did its ritualistic flip-flop when I was anxious, but as quickly as that feeling came, it fleeted. I had come too far now to head back down the road of ‘What the hell was wrong with me that I couldn’t hold down a relationship?’

  As if sensing my unease, Ariel grabbed my hand and pulled me back to reality, and into the outskirts of the dance floor where strobe lights moved smoothly across the room, changing shapes and reflecting their neon colours off the large mirrors that framed the booths along one entire wall.

  The place was pumping, I welcomed the loud grinding beat, It blew out the anxious as all I could feel in my stomach was the deep bass reverberating through me. I marvelled at the sexy bodies moving to the beat on the dance floor. This place gave me a good vibe.

  “Come on girls, let’s do some shots,” Sammy said as she sashayed her voluptuous booty over to the bar. We all followed in complete agreement. I needed something to burn all the way down to the pit of my stomach, and buzz the shit out of my head, leaving only the fun, happy and party time buzz in its wake. Vodka. Yes vodka would give that to me.

  We wove our way through the throng of people that skirted the dance floor. It was eleven p.m, and the club was almost at full capacity—hence the line up out front to get in. The room was stuffy from the body heat of the crowd.

  I was the last in our linked in line to the bar, and watched the room part as Sammy worked her larger than life ego to part the room just as Moses had the Red Sea.

  I was jealous of her sass, from her large, almond-shaped eyes and full, juicy lips down to her bootylicious butt that she accentuated with her skin-tight leather pants. She wore her curves like a badge of honour, and confidence oozed off her and pooled in her wake. I wanted to absorb some of it as I walked the trail she led us on.

  I wasn’t surprised that a spot opened up for us at the bar immediately. It felt good to be dragged along tonight; my plan was to just go with the flow and enjoy my brat pack to the limit.

  Gia placed the first order and started the tab. Her innocent face in that devilishly sexy dress made the men on either side of her take notice. And when she spoke in that throaty voice of hers its was like sex and innocence all mashed up into a fabulous package.

  We made idle chitchat and surveyed the crowd as the bartender made quick work of our drinks. Gia had ordered two shots each, and he lined them up in a neat little row. We saluted our shot glasses in the air and threw them down amid giggles and winces from the strong sting.

  I was humming from my first shot, and made fast work of the second one on the bar. I would have to pace myself if I wanted to last until the early hours. Damn it!. I had just admitted to sticking the night out and not escaping in the Hummer that was paid up to four a.m. and parked several blocks away awaiting a pick-up call.

  I was actually enjoying myself, really not thinking about the shit that almost choked my spirit. I was the Eden that was strong and self-assured. I was going to have a blast with my girls tonight; I had missed the feeling of us combined.

  Sammy’s boyfriend, Ty, had once called us the four seasons: hot, hotter, damn hot, and smoking hot! Tonight I planned to live up to that name.

  “Shot up, ladies! You got me here tonight and out of my funk, now we’re gonna do this in prime she-wolf style.” I caught the bartender’s eye and signalled with my pointer finger to. “Rack them up.” Ariel’s surprised eyes bugged out of her face and she leaned into my ear to whisper.

  “That’s my girl. I knew she was still in there. I love you, Eds.”

  “Love you too
babe,” I said patting her arm tenderly. “NOW LETS DO THIS,” I yelled as we all downed the last shot. Liquid courage ignited my inner devil. One of my favorite songs pumped through the speakers. It had me stinging to let loose all the pent-up shit. JT and Jay Z’s “Suit & Tie” was remixed at a faster tempo, and streamed another song through it that I couldn’t make out. It was sexy, and had me swaying my hips, I pointing at the dance floor to see who was coming for a dance.

  Sammy was the first to pull me away from the bar. “Girl, you had enough for now. Let’s go burn some energy off and get them boys’ eyes on us,” she said with a wink and tugged my hand behind her.

  I rolled my eyes playfully and deliberately at Gia and Ariel. Sassy Sammy sashayed with purpose, dividing a line in the crowd. I had to giggle at the little show she put on. The girl had no boundaries. I never thought she would settle and be content with a man; she was a man-eater. But Ty had something the others didn’t. He was the one to go toe-to-toe with Sammy and tame a little of the wild in her. I was happy for the love they had found. It had been a year now, and they’d just moved in together. But tonight she was here, for me, to ease me back into the social scene. So far, so good.

  “You heard Sassy Sammy,” I said above the music. “It’s time to get our groove on.”

  Sammy whooped it up in front of me. “I love Party Eden. Let’s go shake what our momma’s gave us,” she sang in her soulful award winning voice.

  I grabbed Gia’s hand, and she in turn held Ariel’s. This was the standard means we used to map our path in any crowd, never losing the other in the throng. We had been to many a club together, and now this was just habitual. It gave me strength and re-assurance that tonight was gonna be a good night.

  *******

  The music reverberated its way through my body. I felt it from my feet as it travelled north towards my stomach, the heavy bass combined with the alcohol fuelling me, pushing my arms up in the air as I bowed my head and swung my hips suggestively from side to side.

  I looked up at the girls who where all happily dancing next to me when I saw Ariel’s eyes widen in mischief, a second before I felt a pair of hands rest at my hips. If it weren’t for that reassuring look in her eyes that told me it was someone we knew, not a stranger, I would have flipped.

  “Eden, you sexy thing.” A familiar voice at my ear. I knew it was Tyson, one of our oldest and dearest friends. He was seriously hot, seriously taken, and seriously gay. I yelped and spun around to meet his kind brown eyes, and pecked him on the lips with a quick kiss. Standard with all of our gays.

  “I have missed seeing your face, Tyson.” He pulled me closer to him and enveloped me in a strong hug that meant so much more than words. I felt what he was saying without speaking; that he was happy I’d made it through shit Anthony, and now I was back with a vengeance.

  “So you missed me, huh?” He dipped me back a little and held me there for a few seconds, the tempo of the music changing to a slow, seductive rhythm. When he pulled me back up, we both laughed at the absurdity at our dance moves.

  After having unleashed my pent up mega dance moves, I was getting thirsty. “Drink time. Who’s coming?” I motioned to the girls as if I had an imaginary cup and was taking a sip from it.

  It seemed Gia had been captivated with a particularly handsome man, and was currently allowing his hands to roam south over her butt and grip it as he ground her to him. Whoa! That’s just too damn sexy! I really needed to get out more if watching Gia dirty dance with a hot guy was grabbing my attention.

  Sammy told Gia where we were going to be, which was met with an unconcerned little nod of her blonde hair, and a flick of her pale arm, as if to say, yeah sure see you later . . . or not.

  Sammy led the charge up to the VIP area two floors up, greeting security with her voracious smile and sexy swagger. She was a celebrity, so it opened the right doors when you wanted it to.

  The security guard was dressed in all black, his shirt sleeved rolled up to reveal thick forearms, they were tanned and muscular, totally droll worthy. I followed my eyes up the length of his torso and met his gaze that was already boring into me.

  “Ms White,” he said softly as I breezed the rest of the way past him. I swear, I heard him say, “Sexy piece of work” under his breath. I swallowed the jolt of satisfaction it invoked in me making me feel good about myself, therefore putting another thread of Eden White back together again.

  I was a strong, confident businesswoman; no-one could shake me there.

  I had pushed my way up, taking knockbacks from all the major brands, to invest in a product that benefited the environment and our skin. Most wouldn’t hear of it; they didn’t have the open minds I needed or wanted to invest my time in, and the ones that did expected you to hand your idea over to them for free, taking your product and slapping their own sticker on it. I wouldn’t stand for that, either. Instead, I worked my little ass off, investing my money back into product development, and slowly I weeded out the generally interested investors, the ones that inspired me to develop under their umbrella, maintaining my name and my brand.

  Why couldn’t I have the same confidence with the opposing sex—yes, opposing! I had been stung too many times to believe in the happy-ever-after. I had been weak in the past, succumbing to a whispered sweet nothing and a bunch of flowers. It only turned to shit in the end, so why bother with the hearts and flowers ? Might as well just find one, fuck him, and chuck him, instead of expecting anything in return. I should beat a man to his own end game, and shock him when I don’t call back.

  More shots passed my lips, add in a champagne or two and my buzz had thoroughly kicked into hight gear. I had just re-applied my gloss to lips numbed by alcohol. Chitchat had turned into squeals and laughter, the fun camaraderie of people who let their inhibitions down was goading me on back down to the dance floor. Maybe I should check on Gia, too.

  “Sammy, I’ll be back soon. Going for a little shuffle on the D-floor. Wanna come with me?” I said, interrupting her conversation with some Hollywood big-wig. I didn’t care; I was having fun, and no one could dampen it tonight.

  “Be there soon, baby girl. We just talking shop.”

  “Okay, Sammy.” I gave her a hug from behind. She really was a dear friend. “I love you Sassy Sammy,” I said as a giggle fell from my lips. I smoothed down my dress and started in the way of the sexy bouncer with the hot arms.

  Ariel snaked an arm around my waist and pulled me back. “Oh no, you don’t. You are not disappearing from my sight tonight.” I turned to look in concerned eyes. My lifeline since grade school, when I was always getting picked on, she was the girl that stood up for me even if it meant she would be the next schoolyard target.

  “I promise, not running away, just heading down to make sure Gia isn’t fucking that guy on the dance floor.” I laughed as Ariel’s mouth popped open and her hand went to her chest shocked.

  “You are incorrigible, Eds. I saw that look Mr Sexy Security gave you on the way past. You practically stopped breathing.”

  “He’s pretty cute. Never thought I would be saying that tonight.”

  “Eden, it’s time to get back to living again, and by that I mean saying yes to that coffee date from cute guy at number 116 in our building.” Her knowing look saw straight through me.

  “I’m not avoiding it, I just don’t think I can put myself out there again, and pick up the pieces without losing myself altogether.”

  “Hmmm-hmmm. You were pretty messed up after that asshole. Fuck me, if I see him again he’s going to want to run the other way.” She was a little bit feisty, still looking out for me and coming to my defence. Would it always be like this? I wondered if I was the friend that she deserved. Lately, no, I wasn’t. Ariel was too busy picking me up.

  I tilted my head in annoyance when I remembered her last statement. “Besides, how do you know about cute guy?” I narrowed my eyes at her.

  “Because the idiot asked me out first, I said no and then he wanted to know if
you were single.” She paused for effect before continuing. “Seriously, thats not cool.” She pursed her lips in disgust.

  “Ar, thank you . . . for being you, and picking my butt up when I really needed you.” She bumped her shoulder into mine, confirming what I already knew.

  “I got your back, Eden. Always have, always will.” And the fierce look in her grey eyes confirmed it.

  “Fuck, I was such a weak idiot. It was so stupid of me to let that womanizer pull me down to his level.”

  “You’re different now, Eds. I can see it, sense that something has changed.” A little concern crinkled at the corners of her eyes. I snagged two glasses of champagne from a passing waitress. Handing one to Ariel, I bore the dirty look she gave me. Now she would have to double back to the bar and get two more.

  I walked over to the balustrade that overlooked the club and sipped the fine champagne. I turned to look at Ariel. I didn’t know if it was the alcohol talking, or the new-and-improved Who Gives A Fuck About Breaking Hearts attitude. But I was sure I’d just had an epiphany.

  “I won’t be used again, like that.” I blew out the breath I’d been holding. “I would rather be the user. Besides, what man would protest to having a good time and never hearing from a woman again?”

  Ariel looked taken aback as she sipped the champagne slowly to digest my far-out words. I had never been so brash.

  “You know they aren’t all bad, Eden. People get married, have kids and stay together. They make it work . . . It is possible to fall in love and stay in love. It changes over time, the passion may subside, but the love, if you truly had it to begin with, will keep you together.”

  God, I wanted to believe in her words as she worked them over me like a poet, like a mother to a child that had just fallen over and grazed his knee. I could tell that she believed, theoretically, in true love. But like vinegar on an open wound, I would be damned to put myself, my heart out there again to be trampled on by the next fucking asshole.

 

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