by Luxx Monroe
Garren didn’t say a word as he pulled me inside his house, or when he shut the door behind me and lifted my dress, displaying my bare body.
“Why aren’t you wearing panties under this dress?”
I could feel my cheeks warm, but I didn’t care. “Because I wanted to show you that you can have me whenever you want. It’s just you now, but I’m still in school. I’m going to have guys around me, which means you don’t have to act like this.”
Garren took me by surprise when he hung his head, looking almost ashamed. “Nicole, I don’t know who I am anymore with you. I’ve broken all of my rules. You know that. But this,” he pointed his large finger back and forth from his chest to mine, “is fucking with me. Big time.”
I knew what I needed to do. I needed to show him how much I wanted him. That he wasn’t the only one who was becoming—or hell, already was—obsessed.
“Come on.” I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to his room. We didn’t fuck that afternoon. We did something different. We made love. Taking our time, kissing more than we’d ever kissed before. And our release? Epic.
Chapter Eighteen
Garren
“If that little punk ass tries to even touch you, his hands are broken. If he tries to place his lips anywhere near you, they’re getting ripped off his face.”
Nicole looked at me like I’d gone crazy, and when she burst out laughing, I didn’t know if I wanted to just lock her up in my house forever, or turn her around and smack her ass.
“Easy, killer.” She placed a sweet kiss on my cheek, which seemed to help a little, and headed over to the front door. But then something else came out of her mouth. Words that made us both freeze in place.
“What did you just say?” I asked, quieter than I’d ever spoken to her before.
I could tell she wanted to take it back, but it was too late. We’d both heard it. “I said, I love you, Mr. Mitchell,” she said with a bit more confidence.
Love? What the hell had I done? This girl, this amazing, smart, beautiful, young girl loved me. I’d never felt like a bigger asshole than I did at that moment. A selfish prick who was going to take everything away from a girl who held the world in the palm of her hand. I couldn’t give her what she wanted, and I sure as hell didn’t want to take it all away.
“You weren’t supposed to fall in love with me.” My response was harsher than intended. But, hell. She wasn’t.
“Really? I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with this?” She poked my chest hard, and I knew then that I’d made a huge mistake.
“No, Nicole. You weren’t. Fucking and love are two very different things. We fuck, we have fun. I’ve told you that’s all this is.”
“You’re an asshole if you really believe that. What was all that ‘mine’ talk and how if Chad touches me he’s dead? You’re fucked up, plain and simple. So what you have some daddy issues? So do a lot of people. What happened to your parents would never happen to us.”
I ran my hand through my hair, wishing that I’d just stuck to my damn rules. I didn’t want to hear about my parents. I didn’t want to be reminded that my dad was a fucking dick-weed who stuck his cock in any woman who would take it. I didn’t want to think about my mother crying, telling me that it was finally time we left but never having the courage to actually follow through with it. I also didn’t want to talk about the reason I wasn’t on speaking terms with either one of them.
No one else in my life had the guts to ask me about the fact that I was responsible for ruining my father’s political career. Him sleeping with a young brunette from his campaign party was the final straw. Not only had this woman became a full-fledged stalker, but she also claimed to be pregnant with his child. My mother was devastated, and what did I do? I wrote a book outing all of his corrupt ways. I outed his affairs, his viewpoint on life. Sure, I’d made the bestseller list on many different channels, but what should have been a huge celebration was one of the worst moments of my life.
My mother, God help her, chose him. She told me to get out of their lives and to never come back.
I was brought back to the moment and looked down at Nicole, who now had her arms crossed in front of her chest. “You have no idea what would have happened to us.”
“Would have?” The tears in her crystal blue eyes should have told me to quit. To be the man she wanted me to be, but I knew it could never happen. I’d taken our relationship too far.
“We’re done, Nicole.” I tried to sound strong, but my voice wavered at the very end. Shit, I hoped I wasn’t making another huge mistake.
Tears were streaming down her beautiful face, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss them away, but I couldn’t.
“You’re an asshole. You know that?”
I nodded and closed my eyes. I knew I was exactly what she’d just called me. An ass. “I’m sorry I did this to you, Nicole. It was selfish of me, and I only thought about myself. I’ve never wanted anything in my life more than I wanted you. But it’s gone too far.”
“If I wouldn’t have said I love you, we would still be together. Right? I’ll take it back.” Her full-on sobs were ripping my heart apart. I would pay for doing this to such a sweet girl.
“No, it’s done. It needs to be this way, and I should have said this the first night you came over to my house.” Taking in a deep breath, I told her something that I was going to end up regretting more than anything I’d ever said to a woman. If I’d only known… “It was only sex, Nicole. I’m going to tell Carl that you being my TA isn’t going to work out. We’ll finish this semester together in class, but I can’t be around you alone anymore.”
“Only sex? Tell yourself whatever you want. It wasn’t only sex. Now you’ll have to watch me date Chad, because that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to do things with him that—”
I didn’t let her finish her sentence. I couldn’t hear her say the words that were about to come out of her mouth because she was right. It wasn’t only sex when it came to her. But it’s all I could give her.
“You want another man? Just remember what my dick feels like when your tight little pussy comes around me and I’m filling you so full of my cum that you’ll still be dripping it down your leg when you’re with him tonight.”
If I was going out as an asshole, I was going to make it fucking count.
I didn’t let Nicole’s soft cries stop me when I pulled out my hard dick and lifted her dress around her waist. I also couldn’t look her in the eyes when I lifted her up against the closed front door and pushed her down around my length. She didn’t fight me. Always willing, always taking me. She leaned forward and tried to kiss me, but I moved my head and only let myself feel her soft body as she pushed herself down onto me.
“I hate you. Is that what you want? I fucking hate you.”
I pushed into her hard, making her scream my name as I grabbed her bare ass. “Yes. That’s better than loving me.”
Nicole’s release sent me over the edge, and soon we were both pulsing with pleasure, her legs wrapped around my waist and my dick still pushed completely inside of her.
When she leaned her head against mine and whispered, “One last fuck. Thanks, Mr. Mitchell,” I dropped my head and pulled her off me.
“You know, you turning out like your dad is your own damn fault. You could have chosen to be better, but you didn’t. Fuck you.”
I couldn’t look at her when she fixed her dress or when she opened the front door and slammed it in my face, because she was right. I was an asshole. That’s who I’d always be.
Chapter Nineteen
Nicole
It had been two months. Two months of pure hell. Garren had done exactly what he said he was going to do, and my TA position with him was done. I’m not sure if it was guilt or pure pity, but he did manage to get me an opportunity to get on with the campus newspaper next semester. All I had to do was write some kick-ass articles and I was in.
Lexi was my rock. She knew everything that had gone
down, and she was such a good friend. I was thankful every day that I had her.
Chad had also been pretty amazing. He wasn’t stupid, and I knew that he had a clue about what was going on with me and Mr. Mitchell. He never questioned me, though, and gave me my space when I asked for it. It was hard to constantly turn down his requests for dinner, however small and insignificant he made it sound. I wasn’t ready to move on to a new relationship. Garren had messed me up more than I would have liked to admit, but in the long run I was starting to see that his reaction was actually for the better. College was what I needed to focus on, and that’s exactly what I was planning to do.
“Dammit, Lexi. I feel like this is how the huge mess I’d gotten myself into with Garren started!”
“Yeah, but damn. You’re looking good. It’s time you finally let loose and had a little fun. I know Chad’s going to enjoy it.” She wiggled her eyebrows and started laughing hysterically when I rolled my eyes and went back to assessing myself in the mirror.
She was right about one thing, though. I knew Chad had a thing for me, and honestly, he would be a pretty darn good catch. “I know, Lex. I guess it’s obvious that Mr. Mitchell and I are finished.” I closed my eyes and felt my heart sink a little bit when I thought about the end of our relationship. If you could call it that. I also thought back to the random Friday night about three weeks ago when I received a drunken text from him. Begging me to come over. I would never be able to tell Lexi that I caved and found myself naked in his bed. We were like a drug to each other, and I thought that if we both could have one more fix, maybe he’d change his mind about me. I was wrong, and it almost hurt worse when I once again walked out of his house, knowing we’d never be anything more than each other’s one night of great fucking.
Lexi would tell me how stupid I was. Ask me why I let him use me for my body, but I knew it was more. He just wouldn’t let me in enough to see that.
“I think I might be ready to give it a go with Chad.”
Lexi let out a loud hoot and threw her head back with a laugh. “It’s about fucking time, and that’s a cause for some shots! Let’s get Miss Nikki ready for the night.”
And we did. Some would say I was a glutton for punishment, but I couldn’t forget how Garren looked at me when I showed up to his house in Lexi’s over-the-knee boots. Except I passed on the black skirt and decided to pair them with a cobalt blue skirt and a skintight, black, low-cut shirt. I knew I’d get attention in an outfit like that, and I needed it. Fuck Mr. Mitchell and his no-love rule.
“Four shots should do it. Shit, that burns!” Lexi reached over and placed a lime right by my lips, helping me rid the rancid taste lingering on my tongue.
“I’m so ready.” I smiled at my friend and decided it was time to head over to a party that Chad had invited us to.
It may have been the alcohol coursing through my body, or the fact that my last night with Garren was replaying over and over again in my mind. His fabulous tongue on me, my mouth over him. Screaming, fucking, loving. Even if he wanted to pretend the loving part wasn’t there. Whatever it was, I had the urge to rub my new freedom in his Goddamn face. So, I did.
Mr. Mitchell. I thought it was pertinent for you to know that I’m over you. Completely and utterly. I hope you enjoyed our last little fuck-fest, because it will never happen again. You’ll never have your mouth on me again. You’ll never stroke your hard cock against me, whispering how wonderful my tits look when you’re fucking me so hard that all you can think about is sucking and biting them every second of every day. Because you know what? Now you get to imagine another man on YOUR woman. That’s right. Your lips won’t be on me tonight, but someone else’s will.
And I sent it. Panic hit me immediately and I regretted what I’d just done. I was acting like a bitch. An immature, tequila-influenced bitch.
“Shit, Lexi. I just sent Garren a horrible text.” I tried to find a way, some way, to delete what I’d just done.
“Let me see.” Lexi grabbed my phone and held her hand over her mouth. She was just as horrified as I was. Well, I thought she was, until she started laughing so hard that I wasn’t sure what the hell was going on. “Oh my God! This is awesome. You have a fucking dirty mouth, Nikki Swanson!”
Covering my face didn’t help, and neither did Lexi’s reply. “You can’t unsend a text, can you?”
Lexi put her arm around my shoulders and nudged me with her shoulder. “Nope, but whatever. He’s the tool who couldn’t figure his shit out. I think it’ll do him a little good to realize that you don’t just sit around and pine for his attention.”
She had a point. Maybe it was good for me to tell him that I was moving on, but I knew I hadn’t worded it the best. “Yeah, I guess. Let’s just pretend that never happened and go meet up with Chad.”
“I’m actually surprised Chad hasn’t been stalker-texting you tonight.”
“He has, but I don’t care. I need this.”
“Fuck yeah you do!”
I couldn’t help it and rolled my eyes when Lexi grabbed my hand and pulled me toward my new freedom. One that didn’t involve a super hot, super fuckable older man.
* * *
“Um, I think Chad approves of your outfit,” Lexi said with a smirk and wiggled her eyebrows over in his direction.
I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and wasn’t sure if I was okay with my new plan. “Shut up. I feel like I may need a few more shots.”
Lexi gave me a small salute and walked away, I assumed to find some alcohol.
“Nikki, you look…really good.” Chad smiled at me and looked me up and down, probably imagining me naked and blowing him. That seemed to be a common fantasy shared by men.
“Chad, yeah. Lexi dressed me.” I smiled at him and felt my self-confidence boost a few notches. That was, until my phone chimed. Shit. I knew it was Garren; I didn’t even have to look at my phone to know it.
I swear to God, if you let that fucker touch you, he’s dead.
For some sick reason, I liked knowing that Garren was furious. I liked that I was at least making him feel some kind of emotion toward me. Maybe it was the fact the he’d rejected me, or the fact that he really did just want me for a good lay, but whatever it was it had me wanting to rub Chad in his face a little more. I was a horrible person.
“Take a picture with me? A friend doesn’t believe I’m out.” I winked at Chad and laughed when he walked over and placed his arm around my waist, picking me up off the floor and making me laugh.
“Anything for you, Nikki.” Chad helped me focus my phone for our selfie, and when I saw the image of us close together, my cleavage pouring out and my rosy cheeks, I knew Garren was going to fucking lose it.
“Perfect, thanks.”
Hitting send was my final jab at Garren, and I made sure that I was done messing with him. I was going to focus on making the rest of my night amazing like any college girl would. Fucking amazing.
Three more shots and an hour later, I decided it was time to see if I would be able to truly get over Garren.
Chad and I had been pretty much connected at the hip since I’d arrived at the party, and I also noticed that Lexi had found a hot guy who looked like he was ready to rip her clothes off at any minute. It was time. I needed to move on.
“Want to get out of here?” I tried to sound sexy, but it was impossible to miss the hesitant tone in my voice.
Chad looked down at me with such intensity that it almost frightened me. “What did you just say?”
“Um,” I stuttered and wasn’t sure if he was mad or extremely turned on. “I said, I’m ready to get out of here. With you. Just you.”
Chad grabbed me around my waist and pulled my face so close to his that I could smell his manly scent mixed with a hint of alcohol. “Nikki, if you come home with me tonight, there’s no going back.”
I closed my eyes and pictured Garren’s handsome face. I hadn’t checked my phone since I sent the picture of Chad wrapped around me, and frankly, I didn’t
want to know if Garren had written back. I pictured us together and then I saw his expression when I told him that I loved him. He would never be able to give me what I wanted, and I had to be okay with that.
“Let’s go,” was all I said as I followed Chad out the door to my new future.
Chapter Twenty
Garren
If I looked at the damn picture Nicole had just sent me one more time, I was pretty sure my phone would end up getting the brunt of my frustration. Shattering my phone wasn’t exactly what I needed to happen, but I also couldn’t calm the fuck down. What was Nicole thinking sending me texts like that? She knew how crazy it would make me. Maybe that’s what she wanted, to hurt me.
Well, it worked. I’d tried to forget about her. I’d also tried to recreate our night at the bar with someone else, someone who was more realistic for me. But I failed. Being with another woman wasn’t going to happen because all I could think about was Nicole. I also couldn’t get the image of that punk’s hands roaming all over her body out of my head. Her body belonged only to me. My hands should be the only ones that ever touch her.
I knew what I needed to do. I could sit around and sulk for the rest of the year, or I could do something about it. Knowing exactly what the solution was gave me hope. Now I just needed to find out where the fuck she was.
Chapter Twenty-One
Nicole
Nothing. Garren hadn’t said one word, which should have been a sign that I was doing the right thing—moving on. But the small part of my heart that was left shattered. The feeling I’d had that he’d flip when he saw me with someone else was wrong. Maybe he was already moving on with another woman as well. I closed my eyes for a moment, not able to take in the reality of it all.
“I’m not going to lie, Nikki. I’ve been thinking of this moment since I first saw you at the coffee shop.” Chad looked over at me and smiled as we made our way to his apartment. Apparently, he’d been able to talk his parents into letting him live off campus. Lucky bastard.
