“You need time to adjust.”
“Adjust to what? I adjusted to the idea that you were my mate as soon as I realized what the hell mates are. Any further adjustments we can make together,” Gedeon said, trying to reason with a man who clearly should be giving lessons on stubbornness.
“Life is different here than at the compound. You deserve time to adjust.”
Gedeon appreciated that Gavrael thought he deserved time to figure out the world around him before dealing with a mate, but he was already well used to his new life in Arizona. All he needed for life to be perfect was the man in front of him, “I know it’s different here, and I’m well-adjusted to its differences. I love it here. I love our new family. I love this great big house and the delicious food. I love television, computers, and everything else missing from the compound, but what I want more than anything is to learn to love you and be loved by you.”
“You are not yet adjusted.”
“I just told you I am. How can you say that? How the hell do you know if I’m adjusted or not?” Gedeon demanded, once again pissed off.
“I have been here longer than you. You are not adjusted,” Gavrael said as if he were an expert on all things Gedeon. His words caused the tension under Gedeon’s skin to ratchet up and he clenched his jaw.
“You’re impossible. I just told you I’m adjusted. Perhaps that’s not the real issue. Are you unhappy with me as your mate?” The possibility had not occurred to Gedeon before, but the other sentinel was vehement about them not being together—therefore the question needed to be asked.
“I am very pleased with you.” Gavrael said each word slowly, and Gedeon felt his heart begin beating again. He realized that he’d no clue what to do if Gavrael had been unhappy with Fate’s choice. There was a spell that was supposedly capable of severing a matebond not yet cemented with blood, but it required a demon, and Gedeon had no clue where the hell to find one of their kind. The Council of Sorcery and Shifters was not even fully sure anyone with demon blood still lived or had ever lived.
“I’m very pleased with you too. There’s no need for us to delay getting closer,” Gedeon informed Gavrael with a bright smile. As far as Gedeon was concerned, they could skip lunch and get straight to the “getting closer” part.
“Gedeon, we are not ready.”
“Damn it Gavrael, I already told you I’m ready. This is ridiculous,” Gedeon said through gritted teeth. He certainly knew his own mind and didn’t need anyone to tell him what to do. Frustrated with Gavrael’s insistence on delaying their relationship, Gedeon was growing short on patience.
* * *
Gavrael watched his mate’s face flush with color, and he was not at all happy about disappointing him, but he knew they were not ready. Gavrael was not ready. Yesterday had been remarkable, and he longed to repeat it, but it was essential to always keep Gedeon’s needs ahead of his own. Personal experience told Gavrael a month in a place so new and different was nowhere near enough time to adjust.
Obviously, it was not enough time since Gavrael had been here for twice as long, and he felt nearly the same as he had when he first arrived. He hadn’t wanted to speak about their mating at all, but Gedeon backed him into a corner and now he was glad they had their talk because he did not want Gedeon to ever wonder if Gavrael was displeased with him. He was most certainly not dissatisfied in any way. That was not entirely correct, Gavrael thought ruefully. He was irritated that Gedeon was insisting they continue to have this conversation.
It was too dangerous to continue; his mate might figure out Gavrael’s shameful secrets. His inability to speak. His fear. Sentinels should not have fear. Would he still be insisting on working on their relationship if he knew what a disgrace Gavrael was? Perhaps it wasn’t fair to continue to keep the other man in the dark over his failings, but surely it was only a matter of time before Gavrael was able to overcome his issues with communication. Should that day ever come to pass, no doubt his fear would resolve itself as well.
“We will discuss being mates when we are ready,” Gavrael said, and he hoped that was the end of it. He knew he struggled to find the right words and communicate his thoughts, but this time he was sure Gedeon knew his feelings. It was not time for them to be mates. He was nearly frozen in place at the thought of it. The shame washed over him in a huge, soul-stealing wave.
“Fine. Obviously, you’re not going to listen. I guess I need to prove to you I have adjusted to life here. I have adjusted to life outside of the compound. I’ll leave you without a doubt in your mind I’m completely ready to be your mate. You better not have any excuses when I’m finished. It’s going to take all the patience I have to play this little game with you as it is,” Gedeon snarled before grabbing his daggers from his sides and hurling them into the sand at Gavrael’s feet. He glared; then without another word, he turned on his booted heel and stalked into the house.
Gavrael was very sorry to have upset him, and he did not have any clue why Gedeon would treat his prized weapons in such a fashion. He had no clue what his mate intended to do to prove to him they were ready, and he sincerely hoped to avoid another argument, but Gavrael could not afford to back down either. Gloomily he wondered how long it would be before he was ready. Would he ever be ready?
Bending over, Gavrael collected his mate’s weapons and decided to please his mate by polishing his sharp daggers. Perhaps, in some little way, it could help make up for their argument. If not, he was sure he could think of a million other ways to try to please his mate physically when the time was right.
Gavrael was certainly willing to spend as much time as necessary to make up for any and all dissatisfaction Gedeon might feel. Maybe Gedeon’s annoyance at their need to wait would turn out to be not such a bad thing, after all. It would give Gavrael more reason to practice and hone all the physical skills he would need to make sure his mate was always satisfied. It was a good thing he had a laptop and plenty of access to books and videos on the art of sex. The last thing he wanted to do was be ill-prepared when he was finally ready to be Gedeon’s mate in truth, and perhaps focusing on the physical would trick his mind into letting go of his fright.
Chapter 7
Gedeon wasn’t sure how he made it through lunch, but he did pick a seat far away from the aggravating man Fate had deemed as his. As he ate, he began to formulate a plan. Although he was a proud sentinel who respected the traditions of their race, it was time to put all the things that defined him as different behind. The lethal blades that were so much a part of his everyday life were no longer going to hang at his sides. It might take some getting used to, but it was a sacrifice he was willing to make to get Gavrael to understand he had adapted to his new life.
The dark gray that covered him from head to toe was also going to be a part of the past. Other Council races, when not at Council Headquarters, wore more casual attire. Gedeon had no idea how to pick out or buy the clothes the others wore, but he knew his new family would help him out. If he looked like the rest of the D’Vaires, then Gedeon hoped it would penetrate Gavrael’s thick skull that he was ready to be mated.
With his plan set, Gedeon headed straight for Blodwen to arrange a shopping trip. He pointedly ignored Gavrael, and that he felt like a part of him was missing without his glowing daggers. He trusted his mate to keep them safe and did his best to dismiss them from his thoughts.
“Blodwen, got a minute?” Gedeon asked.
“Of course, what’s up?” she asked, her hand held securely in Trystan’s. The two were openly affectionate and Gedeon was pleased that at least their necromancers were enjoying their matebond.
“I was thinking about buying some new clothes. Can you help me pick some out?”
“Absolutely. Hey, Dra’Kaedan, Gedeon wants to go shopping,” Blodwen called over her shoulder to the Grand Warlock who was still in the kitchen swapping insults with their king.
“Count me in,” Dra’Kaedan yelled back, and within minutes, Gedeon found himself in one of the vehicles owned by the D’Va
ires and heading out toward the mall. It had not taken long for their shopping party to swell to ten of them, so they were bringing two different vehicles. Their family treated each day like an adventure and never missed an opportunity to find an excuse to get out of the house. Gedeon thought it was probably due to centuries of feeling trapped by circumstance.
In Gedeon’s vehicle, he was in the farthest row of the SUV behind Blodwen and Trystan. Brogan was at the wheel, and his mate, Dra’Kaedan was sitting shotgun. The other vehicle was being driven by Madeline, and her mate Larissa sat next to her at the front of the SUV. Dre’Kariston and the two warlock familiars were in the rear seat.
“So, Gedeon, new clothes?” Dra’Kaedan asked.
“Yeah, I’d like to try something new instead of gray all the time.”
“Did anyone think to invite Gavrael?” Brogan asked dryly, “He might’ve been interested in getting new clothes too.”
“I did invite him; he said he wanted to stay home and train,” Blodwen answered and then stuck her tongue out at Brogan. Gedeon was glad someone had thought to invite him because he didn’t want his mate to feel left out, but he was relieved Gavrael had declined; he didn’t want him around while he put together his plan.
“I’m not surprised; Gavrael seems to like gray clothes and gray in general,” Trystan said.
“Exactly, even the room is decorated in dark gray,” Gedeon replied.
“You could always decorate a room for yourself,” Blodwen suggested.
“That’s a great idea; then you wouldn’t have to be around all that gray all the time,” Dra’Kaedan threw out.
“I’m sure Larissa would love to help you with a project like that,” Brogan assured him while meeting Gedeon’s eyes briefly in the rearview mirror. Gedeon began to feel rather nervous about this discussion. Yes, he hated the one he shared with Gavrael, but the important thing was he did share it with him. He wasn’t sure he was ready to give that up. Then again, it wasn’t as if they were always going to need a bedroom with two beds, and Gedeon really did hate it. Maybe he could decorate one for them both.
“Definitely, we’d all love to help you,” Dra’Kaedan promised.
“You could pick the one you want. We can talk to Noirin when we get home,” Blodwen offered, and Gedeon was warming to the idea of creating a bright, colorful room to share with Gavrael.
“It would be nice to have a space that wasn’t quite so gray,” Gedeon agreed and sincerely hoped when the time came, Gavrael wasn’t too insulted that he thought the room the other sentinel had designed was depressing as hell. It appeared he needed to update his strategy to now include new clothes for himself and a new room for them both. This plan of his was perfect, Gedeon thought with determination. Gavrael would not be able to deny that he was ready. They could have their mating ceremony as soon as their space was complete, and then they could embark on the journey of being mates.
* * *
Since Gedeon decided to spend his afternoon shopping, Gavrael had done his normal training after lunch. It was the first time in a month he was forced to fight against an imaginary target. Without a doubt, he preferred sparring with Gedeon over his hologram. Gedeon had not asked for him to return his daggers, so after finishing his dinner, he headed for their shared bedroom to sharpen and clean his mate’s blades. Gavrael knew the plan was to eat dinner out, and he hoped the group stayed out late enough for him to finish his task.
Gavrael immediately vetoed his idea of sharpening the weapons when he realized he had no way of removing the poison coating them. Gedeon, like Gavrael, preferred the green poison that could kill the majority of the population. Deadly to most races except those resurrected by necromancers, it would not cause them any harm should one of them actually get cut, so there was little point in taking it off under normal circumstances.
There was a multitude of poisons they could conjure and coat their weapons with. Even one that was fatal to those brought back to life, like sentinels and fallen knights, that glowed black when applied. However, with the exception of Alaric, sentinels lacked the ability to use more than one toxin at a time. His weapons glowed both bright green and black. Alaric was capable of killing any race at any time with either of his curved daggers.
In the unlikely event they had to take on another sentinel, the weapons could be re-poisoned with nothing more than a simple word. That consequence had yet to happen, and the black toxin was not something discussed with anyone outside of their own people. After all, the fallen knights were responsible for policing their world. They would probably not appreciate knowing sentinels were capable of killing them. Common knowledge was, sentinels and fallen knights needed to be decapitated in order to be killed.
However, since the general public didn’t know of a weapon or poison strong enough to cut a fallen knight, or a sentinel for that matter, their immortality was considered absolute. Alaric had warned him it served no purpose to dissuade anyone of this notion. The sentinel leader never left the compound, so he never had to explain the reason his daggers glowed differently from all others. As the leader of his people, Alaric had no assigned necromancer. His duty was to the sentinels and the sentinels alone.
Since only Gedeon could remove the poison from his blade and he wasn’t here, Gavrael would have to stick with just polishing them. It was a task he’d performed countless times during his lifetime, and it gave him a great deal of satisfaction to be handling Gedeon’s daggers. He was well aware that even without their matebond completed, he was willing to do anything for his mate, and considering he knew Gedeon was both frustrated and annoyed with him, it couldn’t hurt to do something nice for him.
Before long, Gavrael was finished with the first weapon and had moved to the second. He couldn’t help but glow a little inside as he ran his cloth over Gedeon’s name etched deep into the blade. It was such a tactile reminder of how proud he was Fate felt he was deserving of not just a mate, but one as talented a sentinel as Gedeon. Not only was his mate a gifted example of their race, but he was adjusting so rapidly to Court D’Vaire.
Gavrael admired and coveted his mate’s ability to converse so easily with all the members of their family. Gedeon always seemed so comfortable in his skin. It was a skill he wished he could emulate, but he wasn’t as far in his adjustment. His mate was younger; perhaps it made it easier to be flexible to new surroundings. Gavrael was sure in another month’s time it would be impossible to believe Gedeon had ever lived anywhere else. Although he doubted he would be as capable as his mate when it came to communication in four weeks, it would not be fair to ask Gedeon to delay their mating.
If smiling came easily to Gavrael, he might have worn one at that moment. He had defined an appropriate plan. In one month’s time, they would have their discussion about being mates. Then the fear washed over him and he took a deep breath. Shame followed in its wake. Hopefully in one month, Gedeon wouldn’t turn away from him when he realized Gavrael was not the sentinel he should be. It would kill him to see his mate reject him because of his cowardice, but their mating could not be put off indefinitely. Should he not learn how to speak his thoughts by then, he would have to confess all and hope Gedeon would not abandon him. Anxiety raced through his veins, so he shook his head in the hope the action would cast off his negative emotions. Taking a somewhat soothing breath, he forced himself to focus on the practical things that would need to be done for the two of them as a mated pair.
The extra bed in their room would need to be removed. Gavrael surveyed his surroundings and wished he had been creative enough to come up with a décor that didn’t include gray. Perhaps after their mating ceremony, he would suggest they redecorate. He did not want to see the disappointment on the faces of the ladies who put this gloomy monstrosity together, but Gedeon deserved more colorful surroundings.
Gavrael was already lying in bed that night before Gedeon finally made his way back to their room; he was carrying several full shopping bags when he walked through the door. He did not bother offerin
g him any type of greeting and Gavrael was unsurprised. Gavrael knew his mate was not pleased with him at the moment, but he hoped the gleaming daggers he left on Gedeon’s bed would go some way toward an apology.
Opening the closet door, Gedeon deposited his many purchases onto the floor. He then grabbed his pajamas from the dresser and went into their shared bathroom to change. Coming out of the room in a pair of red striped pants that had a smattering of black skulls down their length and a black T-shirt, Gedeon headed straight for his bed. He grabbed the glowing daggers from his bedcover and tossed them into the drawer of the nightstand that stood between the beds.
Weapons out of sight, Gedeon slammed the nightstand drawer shut and crawled into bed. He snapped off the light, and the room plummeted into darkness. Gavrael was stunned. At night, both sentinels kept their blades on top of the nightstand. It made them easy to access should they need them, and Gavrael could not imagine why Gedeon would treat them so disparagingly. Not to mention he was completely unimpressed with Gavrael’s efforts to clean them. Surely he understood Gavrael had done that to please him.
It was impossible to not feel miserable about his mate still being furious with him. Cleaning the daggers was apparently not enough to make up for their earlier disagreement. Obviously, Gavrael would have to further step up his efforts to be kind over the next four weeks before they could discuss their matebond. Luckily, between training and meals, they spent most of their days together. Perhaps tomorrow evening, Gavrael could entice Gedeon to watch a movie with him or listen to music together in one of the lounging rooms on the bottom floor of their home. It was something Gavrael enjoyed very much, and his mate seemed to as well. If Gavrael was not so keen on making sure Gedeon had sufficient time to adjust to his new life, it would be something he would ask him to do every night.
Gedeon was definitely not the only one of them that was looking forward to the next month flying by; Gavrael would spend every minute of every day together if he could. If his fear would allow it, they would never be apart. While he struggled to overcome it, Gavrael could only hope a good night’s rest would put them both in a better frame of mind come morning.
Sentinel's Dagger (D'Vaire, Book 2) Page 8
