by Cat Schield
“Don’t forget successful in everything you do. Every guy wants to be you. Women want to be with you.” Even as she spoke Megan realized he no longer took all those things for granted. How hard it must have been for him to come back from whatever he’d gone through in Mexico only to discover the man he’d thought was his good friend had betrayed him in every way possible. “And you’re a good man.”
“My psyche isn’t all that fragile,” he said and this time his irony appeared real. “You don’t have to assure me I’m okay.”
“I don’t know,” she replied. “You seem to be blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault.”
“I can’t get off the what-if merry-go-round.” Green eyes steady and grave, he gave her an unrestricted look into his soul. “I spent a lot of time thinking while I was down in Mexico.”
“What happened to you in Mexico?” she asked, emboldened by the whiskey and what she’d shared of her own troubles to step into uncharted territory.
Something haunted flitted through his gaze and then he was shaking his head. “That’s not a conversation for tonight.”
“Sure.” She withdrew into herself like a spooked turtle. “I’m sorry I asked.”
“Don’t be.” Will reached out and dusted his fingertips over her knuckles. “I’m still coming to grips with some of the things that happened, but I know I need to talk to someone about it. I’m just not ready.”
“I hope when you are ready that you know you can talk to me.”
“I appreciate the offer.” He got to his feet and held out his hand, signaling an end to their exchange. “Are you ready to see your room and get some rest?”
His fingers were firm and warm against hers. As she rose to stand beside him, he gave just the tiniest squeeze, a comforting gesture that sent a spike of longing through her. The whiskey and conversation had lowered her defenses. More than anything she wanted his strong arms around her tonight. She’d expended all her bravery in her escape from Lowell and had none left to fight her attraction to Will.
But sleeping together again would be a mistake. The urge to lean on Will was so strong. She could fall for him too easily. But to pretend that they had any sort of future was dangerous. Physical attraction was exhilarating and great sex was addictive, but despite Will’s claims that he’d lusted after her, he hadn’t been interested enough to do anything about it. What made her think anything had changed?
Megan gave him a tired smile. “Lead the way.”
* * *
As he led Megan through the sprawling ranch house, Will cursed his abrupt reaction when she’d asked about his time spent in Mexico. For a guy who wanted to get to know this beautiful, desirable woman much better, he was doing a terrible job of communicating. And as he escorted her to the guest room, he couldn’t summon the right words to break through the palpable silence between them.
The charming, glib way he’d handled women in the past belonged to a different man. That guy hadn’t been ready to settle down with just one woman when there was a banquet of beauties awaiting his attention. Old Will could afford to flirt and utter meaningless compliments.
Unsurprisingly, his thoughts had snagged on their one and only physical encounter after Jason’s memorial service. He’d lost control. They both had. It had been rough and intense and sexy. She’d cried his name as he’d entered her and clung to him with rabid hunger as he’d pounded into her heat. She’d taken everything he’d given and asked for more. Begged for more. And when she came, her muscles clamping down on him, pulling him over the edge with her, Will had seen stars.
He would be a liar if he claimed that inviting her back to the ranch had been an altogether altruistic move. Sure, he’d been primarily concerned with her safety, but he could’ve hired a team of security people to keep her safe from Lowell. In fact, whenever they shared the same air, he was gripped by a reckless, red-hot longing to have her back in his bed, and wondered if she felt the same way.
From the fireworks that had encompassed their lovemaking, he recognized that lust was a mutual thing, but was that all there was to it? Would a few weeks of hot, steamy passion fade into regret? She’d married a man thinking he was Will. By her own admission, she’d loved him. Will and Rich were as different as night and day. Would her passion for her husband translate to Will? Did he want it to?
Something was going on inside him. Something that jumbled his emotions and altered his needs. At the same time, he didn’t want Megan’s attentions because he looked like the man she’d married.
“Here you go,” he pronounced unnecessarily, reaching into the guest room to flip on the light. Damn, he had grown awkward with women. No, not women. This woman. He cared—really cared—what Megan thought of him and he didn’t want to screw things up with her. “You’ll find the bathroom stocked with whatever you need.”
“Nice.” She nodded, her eyes flickering toward the large four-poster bed. “And the pajamas you promised me?”
His solar plexus took a hit at her reminder. He imagined her sliding naked between the Egyptian cotton sheets, the cool material raising goose bumps on her arms, her nipples pebbling as the soft fabric slid over them.
Damn.
“I’ve got a pair you can borrow.” His voice sounded oddly calm considering the maelstrom of heady desire assailing him at the moment. And then he noticed the expression on her face as if she was trying hard not to smile. “What?”
“You don’t seem...” Color flooded her cheeks. “That is... I’d be happy to wear your pajamas.” She bit her lip as her eyes darted away from him.
“I don’t seem...?” he prompted, eager to confirm he’d been right about where her mind had taken her. “What?”
“Pajamas.” As if that single word explained everything.
Instead of prodding her again, Will waited in silence and hoped she’d fill in the gaps. Vivid color bloomed in her cheeks. The heat beneath her skin called to him. He remembered her silky, fragrant warmth as he’d stripped off her black suit and coasted his hands over her naked flesh.
“They don’t seem your style,” Megan said at last.
“No?” Had she thought of him in bed? He hoped so. After all, it was only fair considering how often he’d indulged in wicked fantasies of having her there. “I suppose you’ve imagined me wearing nothing at all?”
“I...” Her mouth hung open as she sought a retort. “Haven’t.” But she refused to meet his gaze and the flush hadn’t left her face.
“Sorry to disappoint you,” he rasped, “but I generally sleep in boxers and add a T-shirt in the winter.” As much fun as it was to watch her squirm, he decided to cut her some slack. She’d had an eventful evening. “I can see you’re wondering why I have pajamas if I don’t sleep in them.”
Her smile had a touch of gratitude in it. “You’ve piqued my curiosity.” She relaxed a little before giving her head a rueful shake.
“They’re a gift from Cora Lee. Every year for Christmas she gives me a pair. I don’t have the heart to tell her I don’t wear them.”
“That’s a lot of unused pajamas,” Megan teased.
“I usually donate them, but didn’t get around to it last year before...” Will trailed off as he remembered the reason. “Anyway, if they don’t fit, I can raid Lucy’s room to see if she has something.”
“Raid? Couldn’t you just ask her?”
“She’s out of town for a few days and Brody is staying with Jesse and Jillian.”
A micro widening of her eyes betrayed her surprise that they were alone in the house. Had she been hoping Lucy and Brody would act as chaperones? Was she now concerned that he would make a move on her?
“Well,” she murmured, “I’m sure your pajamas will work out just fine.”
“I’ll go get them.”
The pajamas were in the bottom drawer in his bureau, exactly where he remembered putting them two Chr
istmases ago. He pulled them out then caught himself absently rubbing the material between his fingers as he retraced his steps to the guest room.
“You’re frowning,” Megan commented upon his return, meeting him in the doorway and taking the pajamas from his hands. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine. These are from two Christmases ago. I was just wondering what happened to the pair that Cora Lee would’ve given to Rich while he was pretending to be me.”
“We didn’t spend Christmas with your family,” Megan said, clutching the pale blue cotton to her chest. “I thought it strange that he wanted us to be alone on the holiday, but he claimed that he wanted our first Christmas together to be special.” She shook her head. “I guess I should’ve guessed something was up from the way he avoided everyone, but he was so convincing and he made it all sound so romantic—” She broke off and buried her face in the pajamas, mumbling, “I was such a fool.”
Will put his hand on her shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. “You weren’t.”
And she wasn’t the only one Lowell had tricked. He’d done a bang-up job impersonating Will, hurting a lot of people in the process.
Beneath a fringe of long, lush lashes, her piercing blue eyes were haunted. “I don’t know why I’m going on and on about my own troubles when he turned your life upside down and then some.”
“We’ve both been through a lot.” Will knew it was a massive understatement, but she seemed to take comfort from his words. “Why don’t you get some rest? I’m sure everything will look better in the morning.”
Before he considered how she might interpret his actions, he cupped her cheek and bent to place a gentle kiss on her lips. He’d only intended the gesture to be one of solidarity, but she made a soft noise, fanning the desire that had been smoldering since he’d discovered she was his wife. Will couldn’t have stopped himself from going back for a second taste even if he’d wanted to.
Her hand gripped his upper arm, fingers biting into his biceps as she swayed across the narrow space between them. The soft curve of her breast grazed his chest, sending his thoughts spiraling. Beneath his lips, hers parted, offering him the opportunity to take the kiss deeper. Unable to resist, he turned her with slow deliberation until her spine aligned with the door frame. Her trembling body tensed, as if bracing for that first steep plunge down a roller coaster. Will grazed his fingertips across her cheek, soothing her. Little by little, her muscles relaxed, and she coasted her palm up his shoulder and set her fingertips on his nape, awakening goose bumps up and down his arms.
Amazed at how easily she aroused him, he took his time exploring her mouth. Keeping the kiss light and flirty took all his willpower. Never before had he worked this hard to avoid making love to a woman. In the past he either wasn’t interested or didn’t think twice about letting mutual passion run its course.
The buildup of sexual energy in his body was neither slow nor joyful. Lust sank its claws into him like a ferocious feline and it was everything he could do not to howl at the ache that bloomed below his belt. This time he couldn’t blame over a year of celibacy for the rush of passion. He and Megan had been together just a week earlier. Yet his yearning for her was even more sharp and unrelenting.
Will broke off the kiss and set his forehead against Megan’s while his harsh breathing and pounding heartbeat filled his ears. This situation was beyond complicated. It wasn’t just that they were married. Or letting the world believe they were. She’d fallen in love with a man pretending to be him.
One thing Will had never encountered was being a substitute for someone else. He wasn’t oblivious to how golden his life had been. Until Rich had turned on him, Will had taken his money, power, success and relationships for granted.
Now, people who didn’t know what had happened looked at him differently. With suspicion, indignation or hurt. As if at any second they expected him to do something vile or offensive. Acting as Will, Rich had harmed so many people. He’d killed Jason. Because of the ongoing investigation, the truth hadn’t come out about Lowell’s impersonation and Will was catching the brunt of the other man’s evil doings.
“Are you okay?” Megan’s soft voice disturbed the shadows that surrounded his thoughts, allowing him to break out of the darkness.
“I should’ve seen it,” he replied in clipped tones, feeling powerless and hating it. “I should’ve seen through Rich’s facade. I missed every sign that something was wrong with him and now so many people have had their lives ruined.” Acid ate at his gut as he took a step away from her and raked his fingers through his hair. “He killed Jason.”
“I know.”
“Sorry,” Will said, remembering too late that Megan had her own grief to deal with. She didn’t need to take on his pain, as well. “This thing with Lowell is... He needs to be caught.” Irritation sharpened his voice. “I can’t move forward with my life until that happens.”
“I guess we’re both in the same boat with regard to that.” Megan twisted her wedding ring around her finger. “We’ll just have to make the best of things until he’s locked up.”
“Yes.” But that wasn’t how Will was used to living. “Sleep well. And tomorrow we will talk about how to keep you safe going forward. I don’t want you going back to your house alone. And for that matter, I don’t think you should go anywhere by yourself until Lowell is caught.”
She looked ready to protest then apparently thought better of it. “Thank you for everything, Will. I’ll...see you in the morning.”
With a nod, Will shoved his hands into his jeans’ pockets to keep from drawing her into his arms again and, with a final good-night, turned on his heel and strode away.
Four
It was a little after dawn when Megan showered, dressed and exited the comfortable guest room. Wearing minimal makeup and yesterday’s clothes, she wasn’t feeling at her best. If she’d been in a better state of mind the previous night, she could’ve taken Will up on his offer to swing by her place before heading to the Ace in the Hole.
Not that it should matter how she looked. She had no reason to impress Will. Yet she couldn’t fight the longing to see his eyes light up with pleasure when he saw her. His approval fanned the yearning that grew stronger each time they were together. She had it bad for Will Sanders. The real Will Sanders. Shame flared as she acknowledged once again what a fool she’d been to fall for a cheap imitation.
Voices reached her as she made her way toward the kitchen, following the heavenly scent of fresh-brewed coffee. Instinct prompted her to pause as she neared the end of the hallway that led into the main part of the house. She wasn’t skulking out of sight in a deliberate attempt to eavesdrop, but something in the tone of the conversation stopped her from barging into the scene.
“...sure having her here is the right thing?”
Megan recognized the speaker as Cora Lee and wasn’t surprised the matriarch had concerns. Because it had been Rich and not Will that she’d married, Megan’s relationship with her mother-in-law had been chilly and adversarial. Several months after they’d eloped to Reno, Cora Lee had confronted Megan about the way Will had distanced himself from the family, blaming the ever-widening chasm on Megan.
“Lowell attacked her in the parking lot of her company last night,” Will explained in patient tones. “I’m not about to have her fend for herself with that maniac out there stalking her.”
Cora Lee sniffed. “She’s not your responsibility.”
“She’s my wife.”
“She’s Richard Lowell’s wife.”
A silence followed Cora Lee’s declaration.
Megan’s heart was pounding so hard she was surprised it didn’t give her away.
“The name on the marriage license is mine.” Will’s firm tone brooked no further objections. “Besides, the authorities want us to continue acting as husband and wife. It makes no sense for us to be living ap
art.”
“That has been the case for months. Why all of a sudden are you trying to keep up appearances? Are you sure you’re not just using that as an excuse to have her around?”
“Why would I need an excuse?” Will asked mildly.
“I’ve seen the way you look at her. You’re obviously attracted to her.” Cora Lee made it sound like an accusation.
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“It is if you start to think there might be more to the relationship than a paper marriage.”
“Funny. Before I left on my fishing trip with Lowell, you were pestering me about finding a nice woman and settling down. Megan is a nice woman. She’s also an accomplished businesswoman with a warm and generous spirit.”
“Most people think she’s cold.”
Megan winced, knowing it was true. Growing up with two brothers like Jason and Aaron hadn’t been easy. They’d been protective when it came to outsiders, but hard on her themselves. Coddled and bullied by turns, she’d resented and adored them in turn.
And now Jason was gone and she was finding it harder and harder to maintain the fortifications she’d constructed to hide her insecurities. His death had taken a sledgehammer to her defenses. Some nights she came home from work and sat in her kitchen, staring at Savannah’s artwork on her refrigerator, wondering how any of them were supposed to go on without him.
“I happen to know different,” Will said.
A pause and then, “I see.” There was a world of judgment in those two words. “Well, you’re an adult and obviously you think you know what you’re doing.”
Megan’s stomach fell as she reasoned what Will’s stepmother had construed from his defense of Megan. That they were sleeping together. This would only enflame Cora Lee’s dislike and distrust, adding another obstacle between Megan and Will.
“Thank you for acknowledging that at thirty I can be considered an adult,” Will remarked in a wry tone, sounding more like the man of old than the grim individual who’d returned to Royal a few short months ago. “And I’m not oblivious to the fact that my situation is complicated.”
