I stand here shaking like a leaf and I have no idea how I’m supposed to deal with something like this. I didn’t know that Hank had been carrying this burden on his shoulders. Now that he was dead, those debts that he had incurred were now coming down on me. It was bad enough that he was gone, but now I was overwhelmed to the point that I wanted to scream. I was Hope Crosby and my husband was Hank, but I suppose with his death that the last name Crosby went with him. This really couldn’t be happening, but the sleepless nights were a sure sign that it was. I would wake up thinking that he was there, but only finding the empty side of his bed.
My mother told me that being beautiful was not something that I should take lightly. Having spun gold hair and an hourglass figure with birthing hips was a sought after commodity. I was just glad that I was off the meat market, but apparently those days were over. I was not one to mess with. I might have only been 130 pounds and 5’9, but I could be a force to be reckoned with. My family was very important to me and I would lay down my life to protect my husband and everything that he had worked for.
I was still relatively young at 22 and being married for the past five years with the man of my dreams was like my life was complete. I did not fall into the trap of settling and Hank was the man that I was supposed to be with. Unfortunately, he had succumbed to a rare disease. Nobody really knew what to call it and they were just thankful that it wasn’t contagious. I’d known that his father had died of the same thing, but I never knew that he would succumb to it himself.
I stand here in front of this man and he’s licking his lips and looking me over like I’m prime steak ready to be devoured. He tells me that my husband owes him for cattle. I had no way to dispute his claims. I had this funny feeling that he was not going to take no for an answer.
“I don’t care about your problems, little lady. I just want what is due to me or maybe I will have to take it some other way.” He was not attractive, had whiskey breath, not to mention this growth of beard that seemed to collect food. His teeth were rotting, but it was his eyes that were the most unnerving. He was obviously undressing me and thinking of depraved ways that I could pay back the debt.
“You’ll get your damn money.” He tried to reach for me with those tobacco stained hands and I pulled away, while reaching for the pitchfork that was sitting by the door. If need be, I would use it to make a statement that would reverberate into the town.
“Hope, there’s no reason to get defensive. I’m just giving you an option and that’s more than other people are going to do for you. You’re certainly not going to get that from the bank. Just remember that before you start burning bridges. I’ll be back and I’ll expect my money.” I could see that he was perturbed and I guess I could understand his reaction. After all my husband had died and had taken his money with him.
I put my hand to my forehead, while my other hand was up on top of the door with the white paint peeling. I watched him get on his horse, his eyes still staring at me and making me feel dirty inside. There was no way that I was going to entertain that idea. It’s just that I was backed into a corner. I wasn’t exactly a woman of means and Hank’s family had died a long time ago. I wasn’t going to get any support that way. I didn’t have any skills, except for sewing. I suppose I could try my hand at making clothing.
When he was gone, I turned around and came face to face with that foreclosure notice. The bank had slapped it on my door, as a reminder that I had responsibilities to be fulfilled. That notice was mocking me, making me reach out to it and tear it off the door with my bare hands. I did it with such force that my fingernails had actually scratched into the surface. I balled it up in my fist and I stared down at it with hatred in my eyes.
I looked around at the 50 acres and I knew that I was this close to losing everything. There had to be away to save the hard work that my husband Hank had put into it. It wasn’t easy and we had a few setbacks, including a drought that lasted for two months. We persevered and continued to find a way to make it work. He really shouldn’t have hid these things from me. If he hadn’t, maybe I wouldn’t be in this mess.
I stumbled, but I caught myself before I did myself any damage. I got a little lightheaded and I knew that the frustration of the day was getting to me.
I went into the kitchen and immediately memories began to flood into my mind. Hank would be sitting there with his eyes watching me cook. I could feel the love from across the room. It was like destiny had played a part in bringing us together. I had never felt like this with anybody else. When he came calling, I almost fainted that he would be even interested. It wasn’t long before we were married, but that was then and this was now.
Living in the old west in 1855 was not a bed of roses. There were many hardships, but I took solace in the fact that my husband would protect me and keep me safe. With him gone, I had to find a way to move on without him.
It was then that I noticed a periodical that had followed me back from the store. I must’ve inadvertently picked it up when I was paying for my groceries. I sat down at the kitchen table and began to look through it and the answer to my problems was staring me right in the face. I could become a mail order bride. I just needed to find the right guy and hopefully he would find it in his heart to help me keep what I had. I had no delusions that I would find love, but at least I might be able to find that silver lining.
Chapter two
The bank was going to foreclose in one day, but I convinced them to give me an extension. Due to the circumstances of my husbands death, they saw clear to make that happen. It took a lot of crocodile tears to get them to back down.
I sit here in the stagecoach with the dust swirling around outside and the sound of hooves slapping into the earth. I looked out the window with my virgin white dress hugging my frame and lifting my bosom with the corset underneath. I had on a pair of boots and a sun hat. My luggage was packed and my final destination was just around the corner.
I saw the sign for the town and I breathed a sigh of relief that I had gotten here. I watched the people and I knew that once the word got out that I was a mail order bride that I would be scorned. Nobody really understood and they really didn’t want to. They didn’t believe that a good Christian boy or girl would resort to something like this. This was relatively new and it was widely known that anybody that was going to become a mail order bride was desperate.
I opened the page to see the ad that was written from the man that I was about to meet for the first time “If you’re looking for a man that has a strong Christian belief, knows what it’s like to treat a woman with respect and kindness, then you don’t have to look any further. I can and I will take care of you and all I ask is that you help me with the daily chores. Marriage is a big commitment and together we will decide when the time is right. I’m a man of considerable means and a ranch with 200 acres of land. Maybe I shouldn’t say that, but I just want to start this with complete honesty. I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon.” It was the eloquence in which he wrote that caught my eye from the moment that I started reading his ad.
The horse came to a stop and through the dust; I could see a figure standing by a horse with what looked like a handful of daisies. They were my favorite and during our brief correspondence that last few weeks, it became quite apparent that we had a lot in common. We were both only child’s and our fathers had died and left our mothers to raise us at a very young age. I think I saw a kindred spirit, but now the proof was going to be in what I saw in his eyes.
He came forward and opened the door like a true gentleman and offered me his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Hope. I’m Avery and if you would follow me, I will take you to your chariot.” I stepped down gingerly, holding the parasol in my hand. I could sense that we were being watched and I looked around to see that the people had stopped everything that they were doing to see who had come into their town. “I believe that I already know you. I think it’s time that I finally show you your new home.” He was handsome and rough looking with that
scruff on his face and short disheveled brown hair. He also had the most piercing blue eyes that I had ever seen. He was maybe 6 feet tall with 180lbs of pure muscle that you could see bulging underneath the jacket.
“I didn’t know what to expect. You’re not exactly hard on the eyes.” I didn’t mean to make him blush, but it was quite endearing to see that I had that kind of effect on him. “I was a little nervous, but seeing you erased all of my doubts.” He was wearing a black pair of pants with suspenders complemented by a white shirt and a black leather vest. The black cowboy hat made him look like he had something to hide. His disarming smile was enough to make me think that this was a good decision.
“As promised, I have taken care of those that your husband owed money to. I know that you didn’t want me to, but I talked to the bank.” That made me stop in my tracks and I pulled my hand away from him with disgust. “I know that it was a betrayal of your trust. Forgive me, but I was raised to take care of a woman the right way. I think on some level you wanted me to help. You wouldn’t have told me, unless somewhere deep down you wanted me to make sure that it didn’t come back and bite you.” I suppose that in retrospect, I could’ve kept it a secret. I still didn’t like that he had taken care of a debt that was mine and my husband’s to deal with.
“You really don’t know much about women. I think it goes without saying that we say things that we don’t mean. We might say one thing and mean another. You’re supposed to be able to read between the lines. I know how unfair that might sound, but it is what makes us who we are.” I could see that he was not impressed. He wasn’t used to living with a woman, but he was going to have to get used to it.
“Are you going to introduce me to this fine looking young lady, Avery?” A man stepped forward and I could see from the badge on his chest that he was the sheriff of this town. “After all, I should know everybody that’s in my town.”
“Sheriff Evans, I would like you to meet my soon to be bride Hope Crosby.” He bowed slightly and the Sheriff took my hand and never stopped staring at me the whole time. I don’t know why he was using my husband’s last name, but I kind of liked it.
“It’s nice to meet you, Miss Crosby. I do hope that you find our town to be hospitable. If for any reason you need my assistance, then you can surely call upon me or one of my deputies. There are a lot of people that will look at you unfavorably. It has nothing to do with you and I’m sure that you’re a wonderful woman. It’s just that we’ve only seen one of your kind here in town. She and her husband have since left town. I think that she felt a little unwelcome. I’m afraid to say that people can be mean spirited. I do hope that you don’t take any offense by how people treat you.” The way that he said ‘my kind’ made me feel like I should be segregated. I felt like I was some kind a leper to be avoided at all costs.
“I’m just here to make Avery’s life easier. I know what it is to work hard for something that you believe in. I know how to roll up my sleeves and get dirty.” Essentially, I was telling him that I was not some dainty flower. I didn’t need his assurances and the only person that I cared liked me was Avery. Since he had taken care of my debts, I had an obligation to follow through with at least two months of working alongside him. He promised that there would be no pressure.
“I’ll be sure to find you if I need you. I think you’ll find that I can take care of myself.” He gave me this smirk and I think that he thought that I was putting on airs for his benefit. It couldn’t be further from the truth. I was doing it, so that everybody would see me standing strong and not bending like a branch that was about to break.
I was led over to the horse and it was a white stallion that looked ready to ride us off into the sunset. “Hope, we both know that him coming over and introducing himself had a two fold purpose. One, he wants to make sure that you knew that he was the law in this town. The other was to get a feel for who you are. I will say that you stood up to his questions with attitude. Don’t get me wrong, I was secretly smiling on the inside.”.” He lifted me easily onto the horse and then climbed up behind me with his body pressed up against me.
I could smell his natural scent and it was not repugnant like most men. The heat of his body reminded me that he was a man and that he had needs. I just got this feeling that he wouldn’t try to push anything. His words and the way that he was in person told me that he was somebody to be admired. His strength and his character were above reproach.
“I’m really quite interested to see this ranch of yours. You said in your letter that you had 200 acres. That’s very impressive. By the way, since you did pay the debt, it means that you own not only your land, but you own mine with me. If things go well, we might be able to put my land up for sale. I guess only time will tell.” His hands were around me holding onto the reins and I really did feel safe.
My luggage was right in front of me, as my own personal shield against unwanted advances. I could feel the heat of the sun and looked up to the sky in a silent prayer to my deceased husband. I wanted to somehow tell him that this was not a slight against him. It was just me trying to lift myself up by my own bootstraps.
Chapter three
We arrived at the ranch and the rolling hills and the trees that were buffering with the wind were amazing. I could see a brook in the back of the property and I could hear the bubbling of the water, as it rushed by. The house was built to last and I could tell that he had just put on a new roof. It was a farm style and I’m sure that it was passed down from one generation to the next.
I think I was mesmerized and when I got off the horse, I had to stand there and look at what kind of heaven I had landed in. I don’t think I had the words to describe what I was seeing with my own two eyes. I could feel this presence behind me and then a shadow loomed, before I turned and found him standing there with my two suitcases in tow.
“My family took pride in what they owned. We knew the value of a dollar and we never forgot where we came from. This is not the only land I own. It is the one that I hold the most precious in my heart. I grew up right here and I’ll be damned if anybody tries to take it from me.” He walked ahead of me and I followed behind him, until we walked into the house. I followed him up the stairs, pure white with a wood grain banister and railing to match.
He showed that he had class by taking off his boots. I followed him up and I didn’t meaning to stare at his ass, but it was right there. I sensed that I could fall for somebody like this, but I had the baggage of my memories that were holding me down. I’d just lost him a couple of months ago and that wound was still fresh. In fact, I would turn a corner and I would almost expect to see his smiling face.
“This will be your room. We never discussed it, but I think it goes without saying that we won’t be sleeping in the same bed, until we actually have those rings on our fingers. There will be no physical stuff. I would never presume to put my hands on anybody that I just met. I just want to do know that I’m not the kind of guy that goes out drinking and comes back expecting something. In fact, I don’t drink. I’m a good catholic boy with morals. I go to Sunday mass and I even pray and read the bible every night.” That was one thing we did have in common. My prize possession was a bible that was given to me by my mother on her deathbed.
I rummaged around in my luggage and I could feel that he was watching me the entire time. I came out with the bible and I turned holding on to it like my own personal life line. “This was given to me by my mother. She believed that there was nothing that we couldn’t overcome with the hand of god on our shoulder. I have lived by his teachings and I’ve tried to treat people in the way that they deserve.” I handed it to him and he took the leather bound volume and looked at it from every angle.
“Hope, this is something that is very special and dear to your heart. I can see that it means a lot to you. I’m glad to see that we have the same religious beliefs. It was one of the things that I was worried about. We never did venture into that topic of conversation.” While he was talking to me, he w
as fingering a gold chain around his neck with a cross attached to it. “I can tell that this is very old and I hope that you hold onto it like grim death.” I had no intention of letting anybody get their hands on it.
“Avery, I know that you really didn’t know what to expect. I just hope that I have at least met up with your expectations. We went into this blind and I can honestly say that I was pleasantly surprised.” I really didn’t know how I got so lucky. I wasn’t sure, but I was starting to think that I could be with a man like him. He had a good heart, came from a good background and I saw no semblance of any bad habits. He had no tobacco stained hands or teeth and for once in my life, I didn’t feel like he was trying to get underneath my dress.
“If I were to be honest with you, Hope, I thought that you might smell of desperation. I know that you had a lot on your plate and I was worried that you were just using me for my money. A lot of women think that they can make me forget about who I am. They see me as the golden ticket. I wasn’t really expecting that much, but like you, I was pleasantly surprised. I do have to check the fence on the south side of the property. I’d really like to see how you cook. I think that you’ll find everything that you need. If there’s anything that you can’t find, then just ask.”
“I don’t think that you’re going to be disappointed. If you need help with the fence, then you can ask.” I was using his words against him. He turned cocked his head aside with a smile on his face that made what I was doing here more palatable. If he was thinking that I was supposed to be seen and not heard, then he was in for a rude awakening.
I found the kitchen and the pantry and I had to admit that for a single guy, he certainly had everything that he needed here for a meal that was fit for a king or queen. When I started to cook, I felt this therapeutic rush come over me that I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was nice to get back to the basics. I missed cooking for someone and it was lonely cooking for myself. Eating there at the kitchen table with nobody across me had gotten old quickly.
Possessed By The Duke (Regency Romance) Page 36
