“Whatever it is, father, we can deal with it together, as a family. We’ve always been able to get through anything and this is not going to be any different than that.” I could see that he was struggling with something and the very fact that he had come in here to sit down with me had told me just how serious this was.
“You don’t understand, Nicole and we need an immediate influx of cash, or we’re going to lose everything. I might be able to hold them off at the bank for a few months, but we’re still not going to be able to come up with near enough to keep the family homestead. I know that this is not going to sit well with you, but I’m afraid that we have no choice. I’ve been in contact with a young man named Evan and he has expressed interest in a mail order bride. I’ve been talking to him on and off with correspondence and I have pretended to be you.” I was aghast, looking at him shocked and wondering if slapping my father was in good taste.
“You should have talked to me about this, before you went ahead and did it, father. I don’t know what you want me to say. This is an invasion of my privacy and makes me feel like you’re treating me like common cattle. I would hope that after everything that I’ve done for this family that you would treat me with a little bit more respect than that.” I was hoping that my pleas would make him back down, but his stubbornness was quite evident by the way that he was crossing his arms in defiance.
“You don’t understand and I’m not giving you a choice. He’s going to be expecting you and I have all the letters that he wrote you and I hope that will make you see reason. As your father, I do what’s best for the family and this will make it possible for us to stand on our own 2 feet. Your sacrifice will not be in vain and I’m sure that you can leave him at any time. Nothing is cut in stone and you’re just going to have to meet him and see if sparks fly. I’ve already arranged for the stagecoach to take you to the train station. You are to leave tomorrow morning. I’m sorry that it comes, as sudden, but I really didn’t want to give you the chance to convince me otherwise.” I’ve learned a long time ago that my father was pigheaded, but I had also learned that crocodile tears and getting on his nerves was a good way to make him change his mind.
“You purposely waited, until this time to tell me, because you didn’t want me to have the opportunity to wear you down. I’ll take a look at the letters, but I make no promises.” I grabbed the letters from his hand, most likely leaving him with a paper cut, but it was not anything that he didn’t deserve. “I’ll make my decision in the morning.” I stomped off, leaving him to fend for himself for supper. It was already on the stove, but he could barely boil water. I went upstairs, knowing that I was going to have to do his bidding, but feeling slightly empowered by at least standing up for myself.
I read the letters and I was mildly amused by his need for affection. Evan promised me the world on a silver platter and despite my misgivings; I began to think that it might not be such a bad way to escape the never ending hell that I was already in. I had been thinking about leaving, but I had very little money and most likely would have to rely on the kindness of strangers and possibly the church. The one thing that I had was my faith and the cross around my neck was a constant reminder that god was always standing on my shoulder.
“Nicole, I’ve been writing you for some time and I feel that I’ve come to know you. I do hope that our meeting goes well and I’m really looking forward to seeing if we are compatible. For everything that I’ve read from you, I have to say that I’ve been pleasantly surprised. You sound like a very hard worker and you know the value of a dollar. That’s not something that everybody can say and I would never take that for granted. You know that I have more than enough money to care for you and any children that come into our lives. I am what most people call a land baron and I do my best to be fair, but also ruthless in the right light. I very much look forward to seeing your smiling face.” There was no way to send my likeness and we were just going to have to go on the hope that we would like what we saw.
I condemned my father to stay in the house and I pretended to be upset, when I couldn’t be further from it. I scowled and I slammed the door a little harder than necessary to get my point across. The two bags that I carried was everything that I had in my closet and even a couple of gold coins that I had absconded with from my father’s collection. He didn’t know that I knew he had them and that he would never give them up to anyone. It was even possible that he would never find out that I had taken a couple of them, or at least not until he once again had gone through his collection in the middle of the night.
“I hope that you can forgive me, Nicole. It was never my intention to make you do something like this, but we’ve come to the end of our rope.” From the letters that I had read, he had also arranged for a sizable payment in return for my favor. It was wired to my father and I really did feel like he was taking advantage of the situation. “There’s no reason to be this angry. Believe me, I don’t want to lose you, but this is beyond our control.” The only reason why he didn’t wanna lose me was because he couldn’t take care of himself. His clothes, his food and even the land that he owned were being taken care of by me. He was lazy and I had to contend with the fact that he would not lift a finger. He told me that it was because of an injury, but I had yet to see any indication of such.
I stood at the doorway, glaring in his direction and then turning with a smile on my face that would light up like the sun in the noonday sky. I wanted to tell him that I was looking forward not to see him ever again, but I didn’t think that it was right to rub it in.
As I got on the stagecoach, I was taken to the nearby train station and I waited for the one that was supposed to be nine. I barely made conversation with anyone. I wanted to be alone with my own thoughts, curling my blonde hair with my finger, as a sign of nervousness. I had ringlets that went down over my shoulders and the dress that I wore was a testament to the way that I was feeling, or at least the way that I wanted my father think that I was feeling. I was going to change, before I got to my final destination, as I really didn’t want him to think that I was upset by this current state of affairs.
Chapter two
I heard the train whistle and it made my skin crawl, but also gave me a sense of excitement for the future. Evan sounded like a good man and he had a kind of money that he could afford to keep me in luxuries for the rest of my life. I wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted in return, except for companionship and possible family. I’m sure that he could have gotten that from anyone, so why did he have to go this way to find what he wanted. Maybe he was worried that people would not take him seriously and they would only be after his money. I could understand something like that.
I got up, picked up my two bags and got down onto the platform with the sticky heat now making my clothes snug to my frame. The black dress had now been replaced by a blue number that I had sewn with my own two hands. We couldn’t afford much, but whatever hand me downs I could find that the church was willing to give, I made them fit my considerable body. I was not big, but I did think that I could lose a few pounds. I liked that I could push my weight around and that I had this motherly quality that made most people think that I had already been blessed with children.
“Do I dream that you might be Nicole Fallon?” I turn to see this man with a black cowboy hat, vest to match and a bolo tie that really did look like he didn’t have a female around to hold his hand. “This vision of loveliness can’t be the one and only Nicole Fallon. Is this a mirage, or are you truly the one that is going to make my life complete?” He was handsome with a slight scruff and a pair of green eyes that almost felt like they could see right through me. His jeans were dirty, as if he had just come from cattle rustling.
“I take it that you’re Evan Johnson. It’s nice to finally meet you and your letters don’t really do you justice. You make me think that there are some good ones left out there. I was taught that anyone that was worth their salt was already married or involved. Why is it that a considerable man l
ike yourself is alone?” I don’t think that there was any reason to beat around the bush and the fact that he was alone was a little bit of a warning sign.
“I’m really not much for socializing and the idea of going to a bar and drinking is not something that I would like to do. I find talking to women a little unnerving and I never know if they’re going to slap me across the face. I don’t like rejection and this way I get what I want and not have to worry about any of the ugliness. I don’t know if you understand what I’m trying to say, but I took from your letters that you were worldly and you knew how life worked.” Being the gentleman, he picked up my bags and carried them like they weighed nothing.
“I can appreciate your need for discretion, Evan. I understand that this is not exactly what most people do. This mail order bride situation is a bit more than most people can accept and I want you to know that I do not feel any ill will towards you for going this direction. You obviously have your reasons and we did make an agreement. I would like to go over some of the parameters and find out what exactly you are truly looking for.” I saw him stop a few feet away from a black stallion. Its eyes narrowed in on me I could feel that Evan was worried about something that was hanging in the air.
“I just want somebody to spend my life with. It gets lonely out on the ranch and I only come into town for provisions. My animals are nice, but it’s not even near the feeling of a body close to me. I’m not suggesting that we have anything sexual, but if things progress to that point, then the more the better. I’m going to go out on a limb and tell you that I find you attractive. Your smile makes me feel unworthy of being anywhere near you. You obviously have a high opinion of yourself and I could tell that you’re most likely self sufficient. The fact that you would even contemplate something like this must mean that you are doing it for your own reasons. I’m not going to pry, but if you need to get it off your chest, then I am more than happy to listen.”
He was being gallant, but I could still sense an underlying reason for him getting involved with somebody like me. He was obviously a church loving man and I could tell from the cross around his neck that we had that in common. “I think everybody wants somebody in their life. Being lonely is not something that we strive for. We think in our youth that it’s going to be easy, but sometimes it’s easier for some than others.” He lifted me onto the horse with ease and he climbed up behind me with his arms wrapped around to the reins. He was a man that I wanted to get to know better.
He slapped the horse and it began to trot through town with people staring at us with condemnation. He had obviously slipped to some of his friends that he was doing this and it had gotten back to the rest of the locals. Their eyes were judging me this way to Sunday and instead of shying away, I stared back with daggers to make sure that they knew that I wasn’t going anywhere.
The dust settled behind us and we were soon moving away from town and away from those that didn’t know a good thing when they saw it. “I do apologize for that, Nicole and sometimes I let my mouth run wild. I thought that I could trust a couple of my friends with my secret and it became painfully clear that they couldn’t keep their mouths shut to save their life. Believe me, they got a good working over and if you haven’t noticed, my knuckles are a little bruised and bloody from showing them how I felt.” I could see the makings of a black eye and he was going to need a piece of raw meat to bring down the swelling. I only knew this, because my father was a loud mouthed drunk.
“I’m glad that you were protecting my honor, but there wasn’t any reason. We hadn’t even met yet, but I do commend you on acting like a man. I’m not usually one to condone violence, but in this respect, I will make an exception.” Fighting was never the answer, but the brutality and the manliness in which he handled himself was to be admired. He was strong and confident and didn’t like people taking advantage of him or making him feel less than a man.
The horse was magnificent and it moved with a certain grace that made me feel like I was in the presence of an animal that really did deserve my respect. It had a warrior spirit and I felt like we were doing a disservice by sitting astride it. It was meant to run free and wild and not have to be domesticated for the purpose of those that needed it to help with the daily chores. I felt a little bad, but I wasn’t going to voice my concern over the safety of the animal.
The landscape was stunning and the fact that I was living out in the old west was almost enough to make me pinch myself to see if I was dreaming. There were only a few properties in between his and the town. We came to this long hill and then we came to the top and I saw a sprawling land with a huge house that looked like it had stood up to the test of time and weather.
“All of this is mine and I believe that you will be very comfortable here. We will have to talk about something, but that can wait, until you get settled in.” It was a little daunting for him to say something like that and let it linger there for me to wonder with trepidation. “I may have not been entirely on the level and there is something that is weighing heavily on my shoulders.” He was alluding to something, but I could make head or tails out of what he was trying to get at. I wanted some clarification, but he looked like he was going to do it on his own terms and time.
He jumped down from the horse, landing heavily on his 200 pound frame. He was muscular and there was no reason to believe that he had a beer gut. There was nothing that could be further from the truth. He was a specimen and underneath those clothes, I was sure that he was going to look like something that I could truly sink my teeth into. I couldn’t say that I wasn’t attracted and the very fact that my libido had just knocked on my door was a good indication that I wanted more than just a platonic relationship. Ripping off his clothes and having my way with him was presently on my mind and from the way that he was looking at me, I had this funny suspicion that he was thinking along the same lines.
“I’m glad that you are willing to tell me up front, but maybe you should have thought about that. before you got me all the way out here. I’m willing to listen, but I think that you’ll find that I can be pretty opinionated on certain issues. I don’t mind cooking and cleaning and even taking care of the animals. This is what I did for my father and I wouldn’t expect anything less from any man that I got involved with.” He looked at me with confusion and he kept shaking his head in disbelief, as he carried my luggage into the house.
The screen door slammed shut and I could tell that it was in disrepair and could probably use a feminine touch. The whole house had this manly feel that needed to be softened with a little female persuasion.
He carried the luggage upstairs and I was in the perfect position to see his ass and the way that those jeans hugged his body like a second skin. I wanted to squeeze those cheeks, make him jump out of his skin and then have him turn to me with his arms outstretched to carry me into the bedroom. I thought that that was being a little presumptuous and maybe a bit too aggressive for a woman to take the initiative.
“You’ll be staying in this room, until we can come to some arrangement. I don’t want you to feel that there’s any pressure. I think that you’ll see after what I have to say that something has to be done in a hurry.” Once again, he was saying something and nothing at the same time. The window sticks and you’re going to have to put a little elbow grease behind it.” I went to the window and I gave it a hard tug and I felt like a damn fool for even trying. I looked back to see that he was smiling like this was the biggest joke of his life. This frustrated me and I began to sweat bullets.
I grit my teeth and put my backbone against it, feeling it give and then sprawling backward, as the window came loose. I fell into his arms and his fingers were now lingering over my breasts. I would’ve thought that he would have stopped all of that, but he apparently liked what he felt and didn’t mind keeping contact.
“I’m very impressed.” I wasn’t sure if he was impressed by my body, or the fact that I was able to open the window. “Damn…you definitely got me at a loss of words.
I can’t even think straight and I have this desire to kiss you.” I stood on my feet with him hovering over me by a couple of inches. I looked up into his eyes and felt his hand on my chin, before he leaned in and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.” That was better than I thought it was going to be.” He turned on his heels and went back downstairs and I had a feeling that he wanted me to follow him.
Chapter three
“I want you to know that I’ve done some soul searching. I know that we’ve only met a few hours ago, but I feel that I can be honest with you. I have this need to be a father and I want you to be the mother of my child. I’ve always felt like I have a lot to offer to a son, but I would even be happy with a daughter. I don’t know how you feel about that and the very idea of getting intimate, so soon must be a little disconcerting.” I didn’t want to tell him that I’d already been fantasizing about him in various positions. I didn’t want him to know that I was hot for his touch and that I would’ve done anything to see what lurked underneath. The very image of his cock pressing up against his pants had now woken me to the possibility of something more profound than just doing the dishes.
“I certainly wasn’t expecting any of that, but I don’t see any reason why we can’t talk about it.” I could hear the catch in my voice and the fact that I was nervous had probably confirmed to him that I had designs on getting him naked. “I’m not going to deny that there is chemistry between us, Evan. I think that you would make an amazing father and I know that I would make a great mother. I don’t want to brag, but we have a pretty good gene pool and my cheekbones and your eyes would make the perfect addition to our little family.” I think that I was convincing myself that spreading my legs was a good thing. I wanted a little bit more romance and fanfare, but I wasn’t sure that it was necessary.
Possessed By The Duke (Regency Romance) Page 50
