Chapter 3
“Have you ever had a dream where you were somewhere in public, and all of the sudden realized you were naked; you had no idea how you got through so much of your day without realizing it earlier, but somehow you did, and there you were?” Plato asked.
Chuckling I agreed, “I have had that dream; somehow I had made it to the end of my day at school until I realized I didn’t have any clothes on.” I said mimicking trying to cover myself with my hands. Everyone had a good laugh.
“That really is how it felt to me.” Plato concluded and then asked, “Is there anyone else that felt that way?”
Everyone nodded in agreement, but it was Epictus who spoke up, leaning forward in his chair. “I catch myself during my time on earth trying to discover who I was through other people… my imaginary clothes.” He said and laughed shaking his head.
I was intrigued to see how he was tying that into what Plato was saying. I intently listened as Epictetus continued. “I wanted validation that what I was feeling was correct or proper, or even just not strange. In mortal existence, it seems there is room for pretending and misleading; we try to make each other think that everyone else thinks we’re important, for other reasons besides our infinite potential, and too often we follow along.
“Once you pass on, even just the thought of pretending seems ridiculous. Our capacity to think and remember is much better on the other side. The combination of watching people in this world, combined with so much time to think and ponder; every trick or excuse is so obvious it wouldn’t fool anyone for even a second. Earth has a tendency to make us think we’re either smarter or different than everyone else.
Things I did that I felt were so clever, in the other world I felt embarrassed about, not only for doing the thing, but more so that I thought myself clever for doing it. I watched hundreds or even thousands of people try the exact same ‘clever’ things I tried, and to none of them was it an advantage; it seemed so silly from an eternal perspective. The power we were given to think, is to enable us to live better lives, not to fool more people.”
I enjoyed how each thought mentioned by my guests, brought to my mind examples I had experienced; experiences that now seemed so much more profound than they did at the time. I related one of them:
“I find it interesting what you said, Epictetus, about discovering yourself through other people. I remember on various occasions, but one in particular about six years ago, when my granddaughter Jenny was only two. My wife and I were at my son’s house. While we were drinking tea, Jenny climbed up on the arm of the sofa, and was reaching for the little glass sculpture of a swan that was on the corner of the shelf above the fireplace. Right before almost reaching the shelf, she fell and tumbled right to the ground. She looked right into my eyes, quickly to her parents, and then went and sat by her mother. She didn’t cry, but she looked a little scared.
A few weeks later I was at the park with my granddaughter, another little girl about the same age as she tripped in the grass. She had that same look in her eyes as she looked at her mother. Her mother gasped and ran to her side with a sympathetic expression, the little girl then started to cry. (I had noticed that in both cases they looked to see what emotion was expected or acceptable and not what emotion matched what they were experiencing.) ”
“This reaction is easier to see in small children, but it’s a lot more sad in people as they get older.” Epictetus cut in and then paused.
“Go on,” I urged.
“I promise I don’t just like to hear myself speak.” There was a chuckle.
“It’s true” Plato said in agreement, “I don’t think this is something I am not supposed to say. I think we all are quite accustomed to talking because a good part of our time is spent in counsels back up there. And when I say up I don’t necessarily mean above the earth, just in a higher plane.”
In those few seconds so many questions bombarded me. “Planes? And Councils about what?” I asked disjunctedly.
“Let’s just say, there are a lot of people up there who care a lot about each person’s wellbeing down here.”
Hesitant and trying not to offend anyone I asked, “I’m not saying the system must have a flaw but… well with that many taking care, for each person…”
I hesitated and Archimedes finished my thought, “Then why is there so much suffering?”
“Yes,” I said. At this point I had completely forgotten about what he said about a higher plane, but I don’t think he was supposed to have told me anyhow. Why there is suffering in life was way more important to me to know anyway.
“I think the only way to answer that,” Plato said, “is to ask anyone that has passed on, if they would want to go back in time and live their life suffering-free, or even change a thing that happened to them.”
I glanced around the room from face to face and it looked as if they were all agreed. That was something I had never considered. It took a while to sink in, but I realized I had started to recognize more starkly the ‘learning’ in my ‘learning experiences.’ Memories started gaining more importance to me as the guests discussed truths they learned from their experience. Luckily I got pulled out of my deep thought when Aristarchus and Marcus burst into laughter, everyone turned to look at Epictetus.
“What? I’m not angry; it was a good point Plato.” Epictetus said seemingly defensive. I looked at Plato and I could tell he was milking the emotion and neither was really upset.
“Sorry,” both Archimedes and Plato said at the same time, then looked at each other and laughed. My stomach muscles hurt just remembering how much we laughed that night, but then again I got used to it; there must be a lot of laughter in on the other side. Looking back, at first it seemed odd to me Epictetus excusing himself for talking too much, because no one ever judged or seemed to fear others judging, but now I realize, that it was an inside joke. When in Rome right? I think also more than pretending to be mortals with worldly issues while on earth, the fact that the smallest witticisms produced laughter, meant that it was the influence of love more than mere humor or anything else. Remembering back now, I realize that the conversation seems a lot funnier being inside the inside jokes.
“Please continue Epictetus, I’ll try not to interrupt again.” Archimedes pleaded.
“It’s fine, I lost my train of thought, but when I remember it I’ll share it.” Epictetus said half whining and suppressing the urge to laugh.
“You were commenting on how we all look to discover ourselves in others,” I reminded him.
“Oh yes, now I remember, I was just going to say, I know in my life, I went from being a slave to studying philosophy with Rufus in the imperial court of Rome. I was so out of my element. I felt overwhelmed trying to connect that new world with my own emotions. I was young and as I changed social classes nothing seemed logical to me about the new culture. When I worked as a slave, every task had a logical process to complete it, but there were so many illogical social conventions in the ‘higher society’ that I found myself just trying to imitate what I saw others do. I would see them feign liking or disliking a certain thing and I would do the same. I thought that my lack of similar emotion was because of my social malnourishment…”
Epictus rolled his eyes, and continued, “Looking back, I didn’t make any progress as far as enriching my soul until I was off on my own and realized I felt empty. I went back to the logical task driven thinking of my childhood, and set as a task happiness.
I realized though it was a lifelong task, I felt myself enjoying life more and more as I was honest about my actions and the physical, emotional and spiritual reactions they provoked. I do see a little sense in the fact that some social conventions are necessary, in courtship especially, but for the most part, the game of social chess is overrated.” A few at the table looked at Epictetus and smiled, he smiled then with a laugh. “…And maybe that attitude had a little to do with me getting banished from Rome.” The chuckle from around the table was drown out by Arc
himedes loud and ridiculous laugh, which was contagious.
“Rome was overrated anyway!” Archimedes said pretending to be drunk.
Then to top it off Aristarchus snorted he was laughing so hard.
“Oh Archimedes, what would we do without you?” Epictetus said.
I pretty much remember laughing the rest of the night. I wish I remembered every joke, but I only remember random snippets. I know Archimedes wasn’t the only one that was funny. They all at some point said some pretty funny things, but I’d have to say Marcus Aurelius made me laugh the hardest, and I can’t even remember what it was about. If I remember I’ll be sure to include it later.
Dinner Party Page 3
