“Well, see you later,” Jane called over her shoulder as she turned to walk down the hallway to her room.
She’d only gone about five feet when her mother cleared her throat and said, “Honey, can you believe it—Richard’s never seen Auntie Mame.”
Auntie Mame was one of Jane’s favorite movies, and not just because Nana had been the one to bring the Darlings to see it one rainy Tuesday afternoon years ago. There was something about the crazy, adventurous character of Auntie Mame that had reminded Jane of Nana even then, and now that Nana was gone, Jane had imagined tonight as a chance to remember what it felt like to be with her. She’d pictured sitting with her mom after the movie and reminiscing about Nana, bringing her back to life with their shared memories.
Jane was glad her back was to the sofa because there was no universe in which she could have disguised the scowl that crossed her face after her mother basically asked her to invite silent, dour Richard to come to the movies with them. Although nobody but Jane knew it, one of the better performances of her life was the calm, one-word response she gave her mom, still keeping her back to the grown-ups. “Oh?”
“He said it sounds like a wonderful movie,” said her mother, her voice full of enthusiasm.
He said that? Really? A whole sentence? Why am I so not believing you?
“I was telling Richard all about Nana,” Jane’s mother continued. “But I know he’d love to hear more.”
Richard didn’t say anything. For all Jane knew, he’d left the room while her back was turned.
“My mother was quite a character,” said Jane’s mom, laughing. “She had Jane and her friends drinking piña coladas from the time they were teeny tiny little things. Virgin piña coladas,” she added quickly.
Listening to her mother laugh about Nana and their special drink made Jane feel awful. How was that any business of Richard ’s? No doubt he was picturing Nana as some kooky, unstable old lady, when really she’d been nothing like that. She’d been wise and loving, and she’d always taken Jane and her friends seriously. Jane thought of her last dinner with her grandmother, how Nana had raised her glass and smiled at Jane.
“To my beautiful granddaughter on her birthday. Here’s to you, darling. May you always do what you’re scared of doing.”
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Jane’s eyes filled with tears, and she headed into the hallway without excusing herself.
If Richard didn’t have to talk, neither did she.
She’d missed a call, and as she was walking down the hall to her room, Jane dialed voice mail. It was Natalya. “You have got to call me back. Colin wants to play chess tomorrow. I mean in-person chess. I mean play chess in person. I am having a complete wardrobe crisis!!!!! ” Jane listened to the message, then threw herself on her bed, staring at the box of invitations to the art opening that she’d promised her mother she would address. Natalya had a date with Colin. Victoria was madly in love with Jack. Her grandmother had been a muse to one of the great painters of the twentieth century. Even her own mother clearly wanted to be alone with Richard instead of headed to the movies with her daughter.
Jane had never felt like such a complete loser in her life.
There was a knock, and a second later her mom pushed open the door.
“Hi.” She hesitated at the threshold. “Do you mind if I come in?”
Jane shrugged. Clearly her mother was going to do whatever she wanted whether or not Jane minded.
Her mom sat on the bed next to Jane. She looked pretty in her gray pencil skirt and navy blue turtleneck sweater, but even the flattering outfit annoyed Jane. What were the odds she’d gotten dressed up to go to the movies with her daughter and not because she was going to be seeing Richard?
Um, how about a million to one?
Her mother took Jane’s hand in hers. “I didn’t mean to imply that I wanted Richard to come with us to the movies.”
Jane was about to tell her mother what an enormous lie that was, but just then her phone buzzed. She glanced down.
SIMON, read the screen.
Simon!
Simon was texting her. She whipped her phone open.
tell me u haven’t memorized ur lines yet.
Quickly, Jane texted back.
i haven’t memorized my lines.
“Jane? Can you put your phone down for a minute and talk to me?”
Her phone buzzed an immediate response. “Just a sec, Mom.” She read Simon’s response.
have i told u lately that i love u?
“Jane?”
Even though she knew Simon was just quoting the song, she couldn’t suppress a shiver of excitement as she read his words. Suddenly, she had an idea.
“Just a sec, Mom.” She typed her text fast, not giving herself a chance to change her mind. what r u doing now?
She was so focused on her phone that when her mother placed her hand on her arm, Jane was actually startled to be reminded that someone was sitting on the bed with her. “Jane, I’m saying I’m sorry if I made it seem like I expected Richard to join us for the movie, okay?”
Her phone buzzed again, and Jane looked down. not memorizing my lines. i m in deep trouble.
Suddenly Jane realized something. Her mother was planning on being out of the apartment for the rest of the evening. True, she was planning on being out of the apartment with Jane. But if Jane were suddenly unavailable, her mother had Plan B sitting on the sofa waiting for her.
She made her decision instantly and typed another text.
want 2 come over and memorize 2gether @ my house?
“Jane, I promise to leave you alone as soon as you acknowledge you understand the words that I am speaking to you. Can you do that?” Gently, her mother took Jane’s chin in her hand and lifted her face. “Hello. This is your mother speaking. I am not a phone. Can you hear me?”
Giddy with the text she’d just sent, Jane laughed. “Yes, I hear you, Mom. I hear you.”
“And you understand that I am not saying Richard has to come with us to the movie, is that correct?” Her mother was still holding her chin, as if she were positive the second she released her daughter, Jane was going to forget she was in the room again.
“Yes, yes!” Jane said impatiently. Her phone buzzed once more, and she held it up and turned her head slightly so she could read it.
just tell me where you live, babe.
Oh my god. Oh my god.
Oh my god. Simon was coming over!
“Jane, I am going to throw that phone out the window.”
“Sorry, Mom,” said Jane, leaping to her feet and crossing the room to her closet. She was wearing old frayed jeans and an ancient gray sweater with a stain at the waist. Totally acceptable for attending the movies with your mother. Totally unacceptable for rehearsing a scene with the hottest guy on the planet. “Um, Mom, the thing is, that was the guy who I’m doing that scene with for school, and it turns out he’s free to rehearse, and we’re supposed to be off book on Tuesday, so it would be kind of huge if we could work on it, so if it’s okay with you I’m just going to bag on the movie okay?”
“What?” asked her mom.
Jane’s phone buzzed again. She grabbed it. and by ‘tell me where u live,’ i meant i don’t know your address. Laughing, she typed her address. She could practically hear the hum of an electric current as it ran through her body.
“Jane, I don’t understand. You mean you want to rehearse your scene instead of going to the movies with me?”
Jane was so not imagining that there was relief in her mother’s voice. Normally she might have been hurt, but instead she just thought, That’s right, Mom. I want to rehearse with Simon, and you want to go out with Richard. Everybody wins.
Turning briefly to look at her mother, she said simply, “It’s fine, Mom. I’m sure.”
Her mother stood up and smoothed her skirt. For a second, she seemed almost at a loss for what to do. “Oh. Well. I guess…I guess I’ll ask Richard if he wants to see the movie with me.”
“Maybe he and I will get dinner or something now,” her mom said, after another long pause. Her voice was muffled by the clothes hanging on either side of Jane.
“Sure,” Jane called. “Whatever.” She pushed aside a long black beaded dress that even she knew would be overkill. Still, she didn’t want to wear just anything. She needed to look casual, as if she’d just been hanging out at home when she got Simon’s text, and hadn’t even bothered to change her clothes. At the same time, she had to look super cute. She thought about Simon’s perfectly fitting T-shirt and the excellent sweater he’d been wearing at rehearsal. He definitely knew about clothes, and Jane had the feeling he’d notice if she were wearing a good outfit.
And she totally wanted him to notice.
Pushing aside the ugly turquoise dress she’d worn to her cousin’s bat mitzvah the year before, she found herself staring at a short-sleeved, red cashmere sweater just back from the dry cleaner. She loved the sweater—it was soft and feminine, snug but not too snug. Not snug like, Hi, I’m a total slut. Snug like, Oh, is this sweater totally hugging my curves? I hadn’t even noticed. The fact that it had just been cleaned struck her as a sign. She grabbed the hanger and stepped out of her closet.
To Jane’s surprise, her mother was still standing in the middle of her room.
Was she never going to leave?
“Well, it looks like I’ll see you when I get home.”
“Yeah,” said Jane. She should have asked Simon where he lived. What if he rang the bell before she had a chance to shower and change? She had better move fast.
Her mom came over to where Jane was standing and gave her a hug.
“Okay. Well, bye, Mom. Have fun.”
“You too, honey,” said her mom, letting Jane go and walking across the room. At the door, she paused, and it was all Jane could do not to scream, Would you please go already?! She forced herself to smile.
“See you later,” her mother said again.
“See you later,” Jane echoed.
It seemed like it would never happen, but to Jane’s enormous relief, her mother finally, miraculously, left. And Jane, laughing out loud to herself at how fast her evening had gone from awful to awesome, headed into her bathroom to take the fastest shower in the history of romance.
BEHIND THE ANONYMOUS-LOOKING white door in the former factory where it was located, Penguin Studios looked exactly like the recording studios Victoria had seen in movies. The space was tiny, with barely enough room for a few chairs and a small table overloaded with a microwave, half a dozen mugs, and a coffeepot, none of which seemed to have been washed since the invention of the CD.
The room was dominated by an enormous console that, with its dozens of meters, buttons, switches, lights, and screens, looked complex enough to land a spaceship. Above it was a window into a small room that held only an old-fashioned microphone and a music stand. Lily was in there, half sitting, half leaning on a metal stool, her thick brown hair in a loose ponytail, the silver hoops in her ears gleaming in the fluorescent light. She wore a short denim jacket and a pair of perfectly faded jeans.
Sitting at the console in a rolling chair was a man about Victoria’s dad’s age. He had a baseball hat on backward over his salt-and-pepper ponytail, and he was chewing on an unlit cigar. When Victoria and Jack walked in, Rajiv and the man were in the middle of a conversation about how much reverb Rajiv wanted for the song “Love It or Leave It.” A boy who looked like he was in high school, but who Victoria didn’t recognize from Morningside, sat on the floor holding a pair of drumsticks and nodding his head as Rajiv spoke.
“Hey, everyone,” said Jack, waving to the room at large.
“Hey, man,” they answered. From the sound booth, Lily called hello.
Jack introduced Victoria to the boy with the drumsticks (Sam, from Jack, Lily, and Rajiv’s old school) and RJ, the man with the baseball hat. RJ grunted at Jack, and he actually called Victoria “doll,” as in, “Hey, doll, you want a coffee or anything?”
“Oh. No thanks,” said Victoria, glancing at the dirty table. She hadn’t realized people still called girls that.
Jack was immediately drawn into the reverb conversation. RJ was worried that too much would make Lily sound like someone named Enya, while Rajiv kept saying he didn’t want Lily sounding too twangy. Victoria slipped to a corner of the small space and sat on a chair that was backed up against the wall.
“Dude, she’s not going to sound like Dolly Parton,” Jack said to Rajiv, placing a reassuring hand on Rajiv’s shoulder.
The conversation lasted a long time. Victoria tried to follow along, but it was hard when she had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. At one point, she realized Sam had been silent as long as she had. So she wasn’t the only one who was completely lost in the maze of technical and musical references Rajiv, RJ, and Jack were making. But then Jack said, “Lucinda Williams meets Billie Holiday,” and Sam cracked up along with everyone else. Right at that second, Jack looked toward where Victoria was sitting, and she quickly splashed a smile across her face. He smiled back.
“Okay, then,” RJ said finally. He spun his chair so he was facing the glass wall behind which Lily was standing. “You ready, honey?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be, baby.” Lily tossed her head confidently. Clearly it was no big deal to her to be standing in a recording studio, everything hanging on her doing a good job, trading casual endearments with a professional record producer. Victoria tried to imagine being in Lily’s place, and the thought was so panic-inducing, she realized she was gripping the bottom of the chair with her hands, as if at any second she could be pulled off and forced to sing a solo.
“Let’s take it from the top,” RJ said, and Rajiv counted Lily in.
The song was about an amusement park that’s been torn down to make room for an apartment complex. It’s the night before her high school graduation, and the singer is walking along the streets where the rides used to be, describing all the times she went to the park—with her family when she was little, then with her friends, then, later, with a boyfriend who dumped her for some other girl. She’s trying to remember where everything was (the Ferris wheel, the roller coaster) and exactly what it looked and smelled and sounded like, but she’s also trying to make sense of the relationships she had with the people she went there with, to figure out where all the people ended up or why she isn’t close to them anymore. The song was heartbreakingly sad, but there was something defiant in it, like even though so many bad things had happened to the girl, she was still standing tall. Lily had a sweet, pure voice, and she held the song’s final high note perfectly. Victoria could feel the sound deep in her chest.
As soon as the song was over, RJ said through the mike, “Got it.”
“That was great, Lily!” Victoria was grinning from ear to ear. She couldn’t believe what an incredible voice Lily had.
“Thanks!” Lily smiled at Victoria’s compliment but then immediately asked, “RJ?” It was clear whose compliment she was waiting for.
Victoria thought Lily had sung the song perfectly, so she was surprised when RJ asked, “Can you open up a little on those high notes?” He turned a small dial to the right, simultaneously moving his cigar to the other side of his mouth.
“Yeah.” Rajiv leaned forward. “Try not to sound quite so much like an Alison Krauss wannabe. Think you can manage that, honey?”
Everyone in the room laughed, including Jack. Lily laughed too, then flipped Rajiv the finger. RJ hit a couple of buttons on his computer and said, “Ready when you are.” Lily began to sing again.
Victoria wondered who Alison Krauss was. She wished Rajiv and Lily, with their piercings and their talent, their references to musicians she’d never heard of, weren’t quite so…cool. The thought immediately made her feel guilty. What if Jack complained about Jane and Natalya?
Jack had come over to stand beside Victoria when Lily started singing, and to make up for her disloyal thought about his friends, Victoria stood up and whispered in his ear, “Lily’s got a great voice.”
Jack nodded, but then he leaned forward slightly, as if trying to get out of the range of Victoria’s voice. It made her feel even stupider than her compliment to Lily had. Obviously he was trying to listen to the song. Why was Victoria bothering him with her lame comments?
She sat down slowly, wondering if Jack was sorry he’d asked her to come.
Lily’s voice slid gently over the last words of the song, and there was a moment of silence in the studio.
“Girl’s got some pipes on her,” RJ grunted, half to himself.
“Well?” called Lily from the booth.
Rajiv leaned forward and flipped a switch on the console. “RJ said it kind of sucked, but it’s probably the best you can do.”
“Ha-ha,” answered Lily. She shaded her eyes and squinted through the glass that separated her from the rest of the group. “Jack?”
Jack nodded. “It sounded great. That’s just what I was hearing in my head when I wrote it.”
Victoria swung her head around to look at Jack. “You wrote that song?” She hadn’t meant to sound accusatory, but her surprise gave a slight bite to her question.
“Jack’s our secret weapon.” Rajiv turned and high-fived Jack. “If he weren’t such a crap guitar player, maybe we’d let him play with us.”
“What? Jack’s an awesome guitar player!” Victoria said, realizing too late that she sounded like she was Jack’s mother or something.
“Dude, I’m just messing with him,” said Rajiv. He winked at Victoria, and, feeling like a loser for having taken him seriously, she gave him a small smile back.
Lily left the recording booth and joined Jack, RJ, Sam, and Victoria in the console room, and Rajiv took her place on the other side of the glass. He tuned up briefly, then began to play. The song was both recognizable as the one Lily had sang, and also different; where Lily had gone high, Rajiv went low, where she had held a single note, he played a complicated chord. Victoria hadn’t thought the song could sound more heartbreaking than it had when Lily sang it, but as Rajiv’s fingers moved along the neck of the guitar, it was so beautiful that she felt her eyes grow damp.
The Darlings in Love Page 7
