‘I have a natural sunny disposition,’ Flynn called over his shoulder as he headed towards the kitchen but he paused in the doorway to pat Mac’s dog on the head. ‘There’s food and coffee, if you want it. Razor and I have already had our breakfast, haven’t we, boy?’
Razor thumped his tail on the polished wooden floor. Mac flinched and Flynn roared laughing.
‘Oh shut up.’ Mac sent him a dirty look.
‘That’ll teach you for trying to drown your sorrows. I told you before that you have to sort this thing out with Violet; she messes with your head.’
‘I know.’
‘Hey, aren’t you meant to be backlining the sheep today?’
Mac rubbed his hand over his face in a vain attempt to wake up and think clearly. ‘Yeah, I am. What did you say the time was?’
‘Almost six.’
‘Right, I’m on it,’ Mac said as he stood up and followed Flynn into the kitchen.
‘Yeah, course you are.’ Flynn nodded as he handed Mac a mug of coffee. ‘I think you better drink this before you hightail it out of here.’
‘Thanks,’ said Mac.
‘No worries. Did I mention I ran into Lily Beckett the other day? It was a surprise seeing her again.’
‘Why?’ Mac was half-listening as he sipped his coffee.
‘Because I haven’t seen her since she was a kid. And there she was standing in the middle of the main street with her cute freckles and her curvy lusciousness. She was so breathtaking I almost collapsed on the spot.’
Mac started to chuckle but then the thought of his best mate turning his attentions to Violet’s baby sister sent a wave of panic through him.
‘Flynn, I don’t think you should be messing with Lily.’
‘Why not?’
‘Well, don’t take this the wrong way but you don’t exactly have a great track record when it comes to women and commitment.’
‘I’m always up front with my intentions or lack of them. Girls know where they stand with me. Besides I just said I saw Lily, I didn’t say I wanted to marry her. I was only commenting that she looks a whole lot different from the scrawny little kid I remember.’
‘Hmmm.’ Mac wasn’t convinced. ‘Anyway as far as I know Lily is living with a guy. Some sort of photographer, I think.’
‘Lucky bloke then,’ said Flynn, turning away and rinsing his mug in the sink before dumping it on the drying rack.
Mac drained his mug and walked over to the sink.
‘I’d better get going. Thanks for the coffee,’ he said as he ran the mug under the tap. ‘And for the company and the pizzas these last three nights and for last night’s movie with the exploding heads.’
Flynn shrugged. ‘Anytime. Well, you know it’s not true male bonding unless there’s beer and action movies with car chases and exploding heads.’
‘What are you up to today?’
‘Moving the mob down from the top paddock. The shearers are arriving tomorrow,’ said Flynn.
‘Do you need a hand with anything?’
‘Nah, I’ve got it covered but if something comes up I’ll give you a call.’
‘Do that. I’ll catch you later,’ Mac said.
‘Yeah, you will. Bit by bit I’m getting roped into this bloody wedding,’ Flynn said with a smile.
‘Welcome to the club. Besides, it’s all hands on deck—the family is expected to help out,’ Mac grinned as he opened the door.
‘You see, normally that would make me feel good but that Celine does my head in.’
‘As I said, welcome to the club. Come on Razor, let’s go.’
‘See ya.’
Mac adjusted the straps of the harness, the container of pour-on lice treatment strapped to his back. They were about to begin backlining the sheep.
‘You see, Ben, you have to spray it from between their ears, right down the middle of their back to the tail,’ he said as he demonstrated.
‘Like this?’ Ben sprayed the sheep’s back. It was a bit blotchy. Mac looked at the applicator and twiddled with the nozzle.
‘Here, try it now.’
This time Ben managed to paint a line down the sheep.
‘How’s that?’ he asked with a frown.
‘Yeah, almost but you’re a bit off centre. Just remember you have to get it right down the middle. Gravity helps the product move down the body, so if you start in the middle the whole animal will be protected. Give it another go.’
Mac had taken on Ben Jamison a few months ago. He’d just turned eighteen and was a bit rough around the edges but he worked hard and always tried to prove himself. Life hadn’t been rosy for young Ben. Mac knew that the kid had a few problems at home which were bad enough for him to kit out one of the rooms above the old stables for when Ben needed somewhere to crash. Rumour had it that Trevor Jamison, Ben’s father, was a drinker and had terrorized his family for years, the bastard.
As far as he knew, Ben was making use of the room more and more frequently.
Ben tried again, this time administering a perfect dose of purple liquid from between the sheep’s ears and all the way to its tail.
‘Perfect, now you just have to do the rest of them,’ Mac said with a wink.
Ben looked over at the full holding pens. ‘I think we’re going to be here a while.’
‘Are you good?’
Ben nodded. ‘Yep.’
‘Then let’s get this done,’ Mac said as he started to spray the next ewe’s back.
Mac tried to concentrate on the business at hand, backlining sheep after sheep after sheep. But Violet kept invading his mind and the fact he’d do nearly anything to have this bloody hangover go away. It was his own damn fault but it still didn’t make it any easier.
Another day had passed, another day of Mac steering clear of her. Violet couldn’t get him out of her mind and she was beginning to realise her heart was more than involved as well. He’d been avoiding her and she didn’t blame him. He’d been nothing but honest and upfront when it came to his feelings. It was Violet who was hiding—hiding from herself.
Violet glanced at the clock on the wall. She still had a couple of hours before she had to pick up Holly from school. Grabbing her bag, she headed out the front door and banged it shut.
It was time she made Mac see just how much she wanted him. Did she love him?
Violet’s hand stilled on the car door. No, it was too soon to even start using that word, wasn’t it?
But do I love him?
Violet opened the door and slid into the driver’s seat. No. Yes. Maybe I do.
Violet pulled out onto the road and headed towards McKellan’s Run. The problem was, no matter how she felt about him, she wondered if he was still in love with the idea of the girl she used to be. Before they could have a future, she needed to know if Mac was in love with the girl that was or the woman she is now.
Celine dug around her handbag looking for her mobile. It had rung twice before she managed to pick it up. A slight frown marred her face when she saw it was another call from her father.
‘Celine, have you spoken to Jason yet about the money?’
‘I don’t think I can get you any more, Dad. He said he’d already loaned you enough to get some of your creditors off your back until you sold off some more assets.’
There was silence for a moment. ‘I see.’
‘What about the flats, have they sold yet?’
‘There’s been an offer but it’s nowhere in the region I wanted. That fool estate agent said that there’s a housing slump at the moment. Personally I think he’s just hopeless at his job.’
‘Then go with another firm.’
‘There isn’t time. If I want the money fast, I’ll have to sell them at a loss. It will help but it still won’t be enough to get us out of this mess. Can’t you convince Jason to give me a little more money?’
‘I’m sorry, Dad, but—’
‘You’re clever, I know you can get Jason to give you the funds. Just try, Celine, please.
You said you’d help me, look after me—just like I’ve always protected you.’
‘But—’
‘I’m sure you can come up with something. Please Celine, I’m counting on you to do it for me.’
‘I’ll try again, but I can’t promise anything,’ Celine replied.
Chapter 21
Violet took a breath and tried to ignore her stomach clenching into hard knots as she pulled up behind his ute. As she walked up to the homestead she saw that he was standing, staring out the office window.
‘Mac, we need to talk.’
‘I don’t know what else I can say, Violet. It’s like every time I open my mouth, you push me further and further away.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘Isn’t it?’
‘Please, I’m standing here, hoping you’ll agree to give us a chance.’ Violet uncrossed her arms and took a hesitant step forwards. Mac’s profile was lit by the light from the window. His jaw was set and he didn’t look around. His silence frightened her and Violet prayed she hadn’t lost something precious before it truly had begun.
‘Mac, please. Look, I’m sorry I pushed you away. It was just that you were getting so close, so quickly, that I panicked.’
He turned his head and stared at her. ‘Panicked?’
‘Yes. I don’t do this well.’ Violet waved her hand between them making an invisible link in the air. ‘The truth is, I don’t do this . . . ever.’
‘Are you telling me you haven’t had a relationship since Jason?’
Violet felt a burst of heat flush in her cheeks and dropped her gaze to the floor. ‘No. Well . . . yeah, I’ve never had anything serious since then. I didn’t have time to look for love. I was too busy trying to survive and bring up Holly.’
Mac remained silent.
‘Look,’ said Violet. ‘I really want this to work but we’re only at the very beginning. We have to get to really know each other and take it from there.’
‘For God’s sake, Violet, we’ve known each other since school. I know who you are. I love—’
‘Don’t!’ Violet snapped. ‘Don’t say it.’
Mac planted his feet and crossed his arms. ‘Why?’ He said as he stared her down. ‘Why the hell can’t I say it?’
‘Because it’s not true—at least not yet.’
He ran his hand through his hair. ‘You’re driving me crazy. What the hell are you talking about?’
‘Please don’t tell me you love me,’ said Violet.
‘I do love you, Violet.’ Mac closed the distance between them. ‘Why shouldn’t I say it if it’s the truth?’
‘How can you love me; it’s only been a few weeks?’ Violet took his hand and squeezed it. ‘I want you, Mac, I care about you and I hope that whatever this thing we have between us will build into something more.’
‘Violet, I know it was hard—’
Violet let out a laugh and stepped away from him. She needed the distance, a barrier between them.
‘Hard? I barely slept for two years, although I suppose it’s the same for most new parents. I worked two jobs before Holly was born. I bullied Lily into study whenever she argued she should leave school and get a job so we would have enough money to survive. I wouldn’t let her. She was only fifteen and had left everything here in Violet Falls to come with me. I wasn’t about to let her give up her education as well.’
‘You looked after her.’
‘Once Holly came things got worse. I had to give up my day-time job. I couldn’t afford reliable childcare and pay the rent. So Lily and I would work as a tag team. I’d stay home while she went to school and then she’d mind Holly while I did the evening shift at whatever restaurant or bar I was working in at the time.’
She glanced at Mac but he said nothing, giving her the space to tell her story.
‘Things went bad when one night a manager from the Red String tried to kiss me. I knew what he was like and up to that point I had managed to stay under his radar. I quit the same night; I had rejected him and I knew he would make it impossible for me to stay. The problem was that we were living hand-to-mouth and without that waitressing job, things got difficult really quickly. I tried to find another job, anything to tide us over, but that can take time. All I knew was I didn’t have a job and the rent was due. The restaurant owed me some wages but without working the full week there was no way I’d have enough money. I didn’t have anyone I could turn to. I could find another job but even if I started it the next day, I still couldn’t make the rent, let alone have enough to feed us until the new pay cheque kicked in.’
‘Did you call your grandfather?’
‘Hell no, although I was so desperate I did toy with the idea of sending Lily and Holly to him just for a week or so. I didn’t think he hated Lily quite as much as me. But anyway, Lily wouldn’t go. To tell the truth, I glossed over the details and made out the situation wasn’t quite as bad as it was. But Lily doesn’t know what I’m about to tell you. Promise you’ll never say a word.’
‘I promise. Your secrets are always safe with me, Violet.’
‘You asked me once how I became an events planner and I said I fell into it. Well, that isn’t exactly true. I don’t know if I met Angela Swiftford through luck or divine intervention. All I can say is that she found me on the worst night of my life. You have to understand I was desperate, I needed money for the bills, there was no food in the house and I hadn’t eaten in almost two days. Holly and Lily depended on me, I had to find a way somehow . . . I didn’t want to, I never wanted to . . . But what else could I do?’ Violet choked back a sob.
The room seemed to almost fade away and she could feel the sleet, it was icy and she was frozen to the bone. She was walking along the street, the sound of her heels echoing on the wet footpath. It was late and dark with the only light coming from the widely interspaced streetlamps. The cold wind blew against her bare legs, she’d pulled her trench coat tightly around her but the thin material did little to keep out the chill. Terrified, she’d never felt so alone in her life. Several cars slowed as they drew alongside her but she kept her head down and kept walking. She knew she had to do it, but she wasn’t ready—not yet.
A movement caught her eye and she looked up. She was standing back in his office staring at Mac. He’d taken a step towards her but she held up her hand.
‘No, wait. Let me finish it,’ she said as she shook her head and tried to steady herself. ‘I was at rock bottom; I was going to sell myself to get the money I needed to save my family. I knew I had to do it as it was my only option. But every time a car slowed, I just couldn’t do it. I kept walking and up ahead there was a building, I don’t know, it was a sort of hall. The lights were on and there were a couple of cars and a van outside. I thought, maybe if I sat down in the light for a moment, I’d be able to gather myself and do what I had to do.’
Violet glanced up at Mac. His mouth was still in a grim line and his face was inscrutable. Swallowing hard, she continued.
‘But when I sat down on the step, a woman who was about sixty with a shot of bright red hair came up to me. She asked me what I was doing, I tried to be cool and aloof. I told her I wasn’t any of her concern; that I was fine and she didn’t have to worry about me. But Angela was persistent and wouldn’t go away. She put her arm around me and just sat there in silence, waiting for me to spill my guts. The next thing I knew I was crying like a little kid in her arms and telling her everything—and I mean everything—including what I was about to do. She told me she was a wedding planner and she and her team were just dismantling and packing up their latest triumph. Angela is one of the kindest people I have ever met. She offered me a job then and there. Within twenty minutes my life had changed and I was being introduced to other staff members and taking down swathes of cream satin from the bridal table. She gave me a solid job, an advance and not only saved me, but Holly and Lily as well. She took a chance on me and I will always be more grateful than she’ll ever know.’
She lo
oked up and saw the only thing she never wanted to see in his eyes.
‘I don’t want pity, Mac. I didn’t tell you this for that reason. I just wanted you to know that the woman who stands before you is very different from the girl you remember. If you can love me for who I am, that’s amazing. If not, then I think for both our sakes we should walk away now.’
Mac strode across the floor and took her in his arms. He crushed her against his chest and held her tight.
‘Baby, I’m not going anywhere.’
Violet trembled and tightened her hold on Mac.
‘I promise I will try and slow down but I’m not going to lie to you either. I want you and I want us but I’m willing to wait until you are ready.’ Mac held her close. ‘Everything is going to be alright.’
Chapter 22
‘It’s a beautiful view,’ said Violet as she carried in a large crystal vase filled with colourful blooms and placed it on the sideboard.
Celine glanced over her shoulder. ‘Yes, I suppose it is. I’ve been so stressed out about the wedding and everything during this visit I’ve hardly even noticed it.’
Violet nodded before turning her attention back to the flowers.
Celine walked over and joined her. ‘I know we’ve barely spoken, Violet, but I just wanted to say thanks for all your hard work with the wedding.’
‘You’re welcome. I hope it turns out to be everything you wanted,’ said Violet, a bit taken aback by the change in Celine.
‘Thanks, I know I can be difficult. It’s just that I want everything to be perfect,’ said Celine, smiling.
‘I’ll do everything in my power to make sure it is,’ said Violet as she rearranged a couple of the roses.
‘Are you still in love with Jason?’
The question came out of left field and took Violet by surprise. Her hand stilled midway on the vase. ‘No, Celine, I’m not.’
‘I just wondered because I saw him looking at you,’ said Celine. ‘I mean—’
‘I was once,’ said Violet, looking at Celine. She wouldn’t lie to her. ‘But we were just kids, and it finished a lifetime ago.’
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