by Tasha Black
Ava
Ava spent the rest of the day alternating between playing with the babies and working through Dax’s daily budget with a cup of tea in her hands.
It was so pleasant with the light streaming through the windows and the busy energy of the children.
There was a rhythm to their day, a steady pattern of activity, fresh diapers, meals and cuddles.
After lunch, she was taking a break from her work to read another story to the twins when Dax caught her eye. He was carrying a heaping load of laundry, but he stopped in the doorway to watch them.
“I really appreciate you jumping in like this,” Dax said, smiling when she looked up to meet his gaze. “You can take a break from us anytime.”
“This is my break,” she told him. “I’m having a great time. But thank you.”
“No, thank you,” he said. “It’s great to be able to get other things done while they’re awake.”
“I’m glad,” she said. “If you want to go take some time for yourself, I’m glad to stay with them.”
“Thanks, Ava,” he smiled. “There’s no place but here that I want to be.”
“Ay-uh,” Maddie cried, smacking the book.
“Oh, I’m sorry, baby,” Ava said and went back to their reading, feeling pleased and cozy.
Hours later the sun was setting outside, turning the dry brown leaves of the oak outside a burnished gold.
“Would you like to check out the Christmas lights?” Dax asked. “I need to grab the keys to the truck from the chief anyway. And Maddie and Mason like a little fresh air before bedtime.”
“Sure,” she replied hopping up.
“Go grab your coat and I’ll bundle these guys up,” Dax suggested.
She jogged upstairs and got ready to go out.
Pulling a sweater over her head, she caught sight of herself in the mirror.
Ava had always worn her hair long, but it was only just now long enough to put in a short ponytail again. During her treatments, she’d lost a lot of weight, though she was slowly putting it back on. Sometimes she didn’t recognize her own reflection these days.
But today she saw the old spark in her eyes. Being here was fun, and it was making her feel whole again and needed, or at least helpful.
Friends were always telling her to take “me time” or do “self-care” - whatever that was. They were convinced that pampering herself would help her be happy again.
But clearly they were wrong.
It seemed that what really made her feel like herself was helping and caring about other people.
She grabbed her coat and headed back downstairs.
Half an hour later, they were walking through town, looking at the beautiful lights, trees, menorahs, and wreaths of all shapes and sizes adorning the shop windows.
“It’s like something out of a children’s book,” Ava said dreamily as she looked at the intricately decorated Victorian dollhouse in the front window of the local real estate agency.
“Yeah, people go all out,” Dax said. “It’s really nice. I’m sure they have amazing decorations in Glacier City, too.”
“I don’t know,” Ava said, trying to figure out how to explain. “I mean there are plenty of Christmas displays, but it’s all so commercial.”
“I know what you mean,” Dax said. “No one is going to buy a house because of this dollhouse and the owner isn’t asking them to.”
“It’s genuinely joyful,” she agreed, feeling a little cheesy for saying it.
“I like that,” Dax said. “Genuinely joyful.”
Maddie thumped on the stroller and Mason kicked his feet.
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Dax asked, crouching beside them. “Do you see the house?”
“Dah,” Mason said, pointing.
“Yes, there’s the daddy,” Dax said, looking at the daddy doll in the window.
“Bay,” said Maddie.
“Oh, is that his baby?” Dax asked, pointing at the little girl doll next to the daddy one.
“Ya,” Maddie said. “Bay-bee.”
“Bay,” Mason echoed happily.
“It’s so nice that they’re talking so young,” Ava said.
“It’s amazing to know what they’re thinking about,” Dax agreed. “Are you guys ready to go see the chief?”
“Yah,” Maddie said.
“We’ll stop by the library after,” he promised her.
Dax straightened and gave Ava a warm smile. “I’ve got a pretty charmed life. Don’t think I don’t know it.”
She smiled back, recognizing that he did. She’d spent a lot of time feeling sorry for him from afar, and he deserved that sympathy. He’d gone through a lot, but Dax Walker had also made an amazing life for his family.
She wondered if she hadn’t also been feeling sorry for herself a little too much. Maybe she would get sick again - maybe her magic would never fully return to her. But she was privileged to have the chance to enjoy whatever life was left to her, privileged to have friends and family who cared about her.
“What are you thinking about?” Dax asked as they crossed the street toward the firehouse.
“I was just feeling lucky,” she told him. “I guess your gratitude is contagious.”
“Good things usually are,” he told her. “Speaking of which, I can’t wait for you to meet Ben. He loves the kids and he’ll literally stand on his head to make them smile. It’s really something to see.”
Privately, Ava wondered if anyone didn’t love these kids. She felt it would be an extremely difficult thing to resist. But she smiled and nodded.
“Dax,” someone cried from inside the open garage door of the firehouse. “How’s it going?”
“Here we go,” Dax chuckled. “Hey, Ben.”
Ava was surprised to see that the fire chief was young, maybe in his late twenties.
“Maddie, Mason,” Ben called out as he jogged over, covering and uncovering his eyes. “Where’d you go? There you are! Where’d you go? There you are!”
Ava smiled as she watched him play his silly version of peekaboo with the giggling twins.
“Careful, bud, you’re going to trip over something one of these days,” Dax laughed.
“Never,” Ben said, shaking his head fast and hard and sending the twins into another round of giggles. “Who’s your friend?” he asked, finally looking up from the stroller.
“This is Ava Sorensen,” Dax said. “She came to visit with the kids and help me with some financial planning.”
“Ben Anderson,” Ben said extending a hand, which Ava shook. “So, you’re a financial planner?”
“Yes,” Ava said, “at least I was.”
“Well, if you ever get bored, the firehouse could use your help,” Ben said.
“Are you in some kind of trouble?” Ava asked, looking around.
The building looked great, with shiny firetrucks inside and what looked like a brand-new roof.
“It’s the opposite, actually,” Ben said. “We came into a substantial amount of money last year, and we’re trying to work out the best way to invest it to ensure we have a maintenance fund going into the future. We put it in a savings account at Tarker’s Hollow Savings Bank, but I’m sure there’s a better way to handle it.”
A savings account was definitely not the best way to hold funds over decades. The fire company would likely lose money when they pitted the minimal savings interest rate against inflation. But Ava certainly wasn’t going to make him feel bad by saying it in front of Dax.
“I would be honored to donate a few hours to help out,” she told him. “Dax and I are going to check out his grandfather’s cabin, but when we get back, we should get together and take a look at your options. Is there a day early next week when you’d like to meet?”
“Oh, geez, I don’t want to spoil your vacation,” Ben said.
A flash of horror went through her at the thought of the fire company’s funds losing value in a savings account.
“No,” she said quickly.
&nb
sp; Ben’s eyebrows went up.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, feeling a little embarrassed. “I’m kind of passionate about finance.”
“She’s not kidding,” Dax said proudly. “She got here yesterday, and she’s already got big plans for me and the kids.”
“Hey, that’s awesome,” Ben said. “If you really don’t mind helping out, I’d love to meet next week. Just have Dax give me a call when you get back.”
“I will,” Ava said.
“Well, here are the keys,” Ben told Dax, handing over a keychain with a little silver firetruck. “Take good care of her.”
“Will do,” Dax promised.
“And thank you for picking up the trees,” Ben told him.
“I’m glad to do it,” Dax said gruffly.
“Well, I guess you’d better get these guys home,” Ben said, dropping into a crouch to tap the twins’ little shoes. “These little piggies have been to market.”
Ben oinked at the children and made funny faces.
Dax glanced over at Ava with a knowing smile as if to say I-told-you-so.
He had been right, Ben was a pretty funny guy, and obviously devoted to the kids.
“See you later,” Dax said as Ben straightened.
“Absolutely, and nice to meet you,” Ben said, giving them a little wave before jogging back to the firehouse.
“He’s really great,” Ava said. “Sorry I was so aggressive about their savings account.”
“You just wanted to help,” Dax said, pushing the stroller toward the library. “I think it’s awesome.”
“Well, you’re helping, too,” Ava said, indicating the keys in his hand.
“Sure,” he agreed. “That’s something I miss all the time. I used to volunteer here. It made me feel really good to help out.”
Ava nodded thoughtfully. “I think this trip is helping me realize that even though I don’t necessarily miss the office, I really do miss helping people.”
“That’s fantastic,” Dax said. “Maybe that’s what you should do when you’re ready to work again - find a way to focus on helping.”
“Less corporate, more personal.” Ava nodded, suddenly wondering if she might like to hang her own shingle.
“We’re only just getting to know each other,” Dax said. “But that does seem like a better fit for you.”
She smiled up at him and he studied her solemnly.
For an instant, she felt a pull between them, sweet as honey and heavy as a longing for something she couldn’t quite name.
She tore her eyes away from his, searching the holiday lights, the storefronts, the stars above -anything to avoid his gaze.
But the feeling spread warmth through her anyway, a tingle of hope that the future might be better than the present.
“I’m sorry. I’m feeling tired,” she said. “I think I’m just going to head back to the house.”
She took off without waiting for him to respond, willing the sensation of hope to leave her.
It was all too easy to picture slipping into Jill’s old life, into the beautiful babies, into the sweet little town, into the kind-hearted man…
But that wasn’t something Ava could live with.
“Sisters before misters,” she muttered to herself as she half-jogged toward the house on Princeton.
Somehow the streetlights seemed to dim around her, as if the whole world were disappointed that she didn’t want to reach for happiness.
It’s not my happiness to reach for, she told herself inwardly. Besides, what happens when I get sick again? I can’t bring more tragedy to this family. I need to be long gone before that happens.
7
Dax
Dax stood outside his own front door for a moment, feeling uncertain.
He had taken the babies to the library, as promised, where they had been duly fussed over by the children’s librarian and a few of the friendly patrons.
But soon enough, it was time to come home and deal with whatever was going on with Ava.
And he was pretty sure he knew what was going on.
She had clearly sensed his attraction to her and been deeply put off by it.
He could hardly blame her. She was just a nice woman who had come to help him and get to know the kids. She hadn’t come here to be ogled by a dirty old man.
The trouble was that the electricity between them wasn’t his fault. He was trying desperately to ignore it.
But his wolf was awake now and pawing at the surface of his consciousness. He had denied it for so long from even stretching its legs. He was getting what he deserved if it punished him now.
“Dah,” Mason said plaintively.
“Sorry, buddy, I was just thinking,” he told his son, feeling guilty. “Let’s get you unstrapped and into the house.”
He unloaded the babies and made sure to make a little noise on the way in. If she didn’t want to see him, she would have plenty of time to scurry upstairs.
But when he followed Mason and Maddie into the family room, he saw that she was in her favorite chair curled up with her laptop.
“I’m so sorry I ran off,” she said. “I get tired so suddenly these days.”
She blushed a little, as if ashamed at the lie.
“I understand completely,” he told her honestly. The way she had jogged away from him made it clear she wasn’t really tired. But he understood her real reason for running and he respected her for it. He was just grateful that she hadn’t made her excuses and gone back to Glacier City.
“Mmmmmmmmmm-ak,” Mason said, dragging his favorite book over to her again.
Ava laughed and got down on the floor with him to read about Max and the wild things once again.
Dax smiled in spite of himself.
Suddenly there was a voice in his head, reverberating through his blood, calling him inexorably.
Dax Walker, I summon you.
His alpha was near.
He felt her presence in the trees outside, and a pull so strong it was an effort to stop long enough to explain himself.
“I hate to ask it, but can you keep an eye on them for a minute?” he asked Ava. “I have to check on something.”
“Of course,” she said immediately. “I’d be glad to.”
He dashed to the back door and out onto the porch.
Sure enough, Ainsley Connor, the alpha of the Tarker’s Hollow pack, waited for him at the tree-line at the edge of the property.
Ainsley was impeccably dressed, as usual. Today she wore a belted canvas jacket over a camel-colored cashmere sweater with suede boots and jeans that were so crisp he had to wonder if they had been ironed and pressed.
To the average citizen, Ainsley probably looked like a typical young suburban mom, though she was prettier and better put-together than most.
But there was something wild in her eyes.
And for Dax, the sight of her brought his wolf to heel. She had inspired a surge of unswerving allegiance in him from the moment he’d felt her cool gesture in his mind.
He jogged out to meet her.
Suddenly his suburban backyard felt like a forest, with the sounds and smells rising up to meet him as he moved. His wolf scented the air for danger, the instinct to protect the alpha pricking up instantly.
“Dax,” she said warmly. “I’m glad to see I can still call you to me.”
He gazed at her, wondering if she meant it. The call of the alpha was undeniable.
“I’m kidding, Dax. Obviously,” she said, taking pity on him.
“Oh,” he said. “That’s funny.”
“Not really,” Ainsley said crisply. “Where have you been?”
“I’ve been here,” he told her, knowing it wasn’t what she meant.
Ainsley sighed and fixed him in her hazel gaze.
“You’re mourning still, I understand that. But you’re part of this pack, and you have needs.”
Dax shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.
It was hard to explain why he didn
’t want to shift, why he couldn’t allow himself to, since losing Jill.
“Think of your kids,” Ainsley said simply. “Is this what you want for them?”
“When they’re older—” he began.
“You mean after they’ve grown up with a father whose wolf is caged?” Ainsley asked.
He opened his mouth and closed it again.
“I understand,” Ainsley said softly. “At least a little.”
Ainsley herself had held her wolf back for years and denied her birthright. The whole pack knew her story. She had wanted to be human.
Dax had never understood how she’d had the strength to do it.
And then he’d felt his own need not to shift.
The physical pain of denying the wolf at each full moon was the only respite from the emotional pain of losing his wife. The white-hot flame of it cleansed his senses.
“You have a woman in there,” Ainsley said, nodding toward the house. “Guys at the fire house said you’re taking her on a road trip tomorrow.”
“She’s a friend of Jill’s,” he said, as if that mattered.
“She’s more than that,” Ainsley said, arching one delicate brow. “And you’re going to take her on the road the day before the full moon?”
He hadn’t thought of that. But it didn’t matter.
Did it?
“I can handle myself,” Dax said.
“Clearly,” Ainsley replied. “But what if I don’t want you to?”
“I serve at your pleasure,” he heard himself tell her, his wolf bowing in his chest even as resentment flickered.
“For fuck’s sake, Dax,” Ainsley cursed. “I’m not that kind of alpha. At least not unless I have to be. But you’re playing with fire. You know that woman is your mate, don’t you?”
“Jill was my mate,” he said automatically.
“Yes,” Ainsley agreed. “But wolves are not solitary creatures. We mate for life, but life is never as long as we want it to be. Does the woman in the house know what you are?”
He shook his head. “The first rule of wolf pack is don’t talk about wolf pack,” he joked weakly.
“I’ve never heard that one before.” Ainsley rolled her eyes. “Get your shit together, Walker. I don’t want to come down on you, but I will.”
