The only taboo left fully intact was murdering a real human, and even then if you can prove you were in the right, no one will care. So, really, it wasn’t that we slipped back into a world where sacrifices and multiple gods were normal. We just slipped back into the old west, where there were just enough people to demand a system of law, but not enough to actually enforce it.
It was early morning by the time we got home. Haden and Devin went straight upstairs to finish what they had started at the barn dance. August was reluctantly saying goodbye to her man, but not doing a good job of it since they were both inching there way inside with each kiss.
I went into the kitchen and turned on the radio. Jimmy the Card was finishing up his late night doting on his fans. I couldn’t help but laugh at all the women out there in love with his voice. After seeing him in person, the disappointment was enough to keep me away from radio sex for life.
“Will you two just go upstairs?” I chided August.
“You know the rules, Lenore.” She said with wide eyes.
I moved around the island to get a better view and looked over Mr. Fine. When I touched him after my contact with the old rapist, I felt a relief there. If I was in supercharged psychic mode, I imagined that I would have felt if he had dishonorable intentions.
“He’s okay, August. Go have some fun.” I stood up straight. “Besides, he knows he has four people to contend with if he doesn’t behave, right?” I looked to him for an answer.
“Yes, ma’am.” Mr. Fine said and went so far as to salute me, but he meant it with the greatest respect, especially since I was giving him permission to go upstairs and get laid.
August ran upstairs with Mr. Fine fast on her tail. I laughed as I went back to my radio and turned it up just enough to give everyone privacy, but not enough that I wouldn’t hear a scream or un-permissible struggle. I couldn’t help but wonder when, over the last two months, I had turned into the one that gave the permission for men to sleep over.
I made myself some instant coffee and sat at the table to listen to Jimmy.
“Now that my fans are settled in for the night, vacant of their raging desires, I will bring my broadcast to a close.” Jimmy’s voice was deep, but smooth, a hard combination to pull off. “But before I do, it looks like we have an announcement straight down from our very own Mayor Thompson. Starting tomorrow, that’s today for all you early roosters, he will be sending his military group west to collect your unwanted, inactive grim.
“The mayor has explained in his press release here, that the tournaments are a resounding success and he wants to collect more grim for the upcoming events, thereby returning our state to its former glory of the good life. Wow, way to go Mayor Thompson. That man can make a dangerous, unorthodox, extermination plan, sound like a civic duty.”
I nearly spit my coffee out at Jimmy’s joke. He was right of course. The mayor had a way of talking people into anything. I wasn’t sure how I felt about exterminating the grim, but I did know that I didn’t want to have my soul sucked. With that in mind I couldn’t help, but agree with the plan.
And yet my instincts still flared in my gut, trying to tell me something. Until I knew for sure though, there was nothing to do, but save the world the only way I knew how: with after sex breakfast. I pulled out the pans and got to work.
-I Shaved my Legs for This-
I couldn’t help but feel giddy at going to the tournaments again. I blamed it on the excitement of August competing for her chance to win a spot in the finals with Haden and Devin, but it was clear that wasn’t my only reason for enthusiasm when I arrived to the truck.
The snow had started to come down, but it wasn’t nearly as cold as February usually was. However, that was still no excuse for me to be wearing a low cut top and the tightest jeans I could find. I tried to hide it under my winter coat, but since I couldn’t stand to zipper myself up in the claustrophobic straight jacket, I wasn’t fooling anyone.
Even if my clothes had gone unnoticed, the makeup, carefully crafted up do—with just enough tendrils hanging out to make it look thrown together—were a dead give-away. I even took the trouble of donning some perfume, which in hindsight should have waited until we were at the tournament so I didn’t suffocate my friends.
“Well, hello beautiful,” Devin whistled from the truck cab as I came out of the house to join the others. “You’re sitting next to me this trip.”
Haden glared at me at first, but she seemed to lose the resolve in her anger and continued to strap down our supplies in back. August looked me over introspectively. When I reached the cab she touched my shoulder.
“Lenore…” The usual scolding question mark followed my name, but her eyes looked troubled. She must have figured out that I had slept with her brother. I wasn’t sure why she would disapprove, but Garrett liked his privacy, so I never discussed it with her.
I waited for the inevitable conversation where she told me her concerns about getting attached to a man I’m only going to see three or four times and year, but it didn’t come. She squeezed my shoulder and ushered me in the cab without a single overly protective mom statement.
I was a little disappointed, but before I could say anything, Devin reached over and closed the passenger side door behind me. He locked the automatic lock and latched the back window. I perked an eyebrow at him, but I suspected that he was just being playful.
He slid me over to him with far more ease than I would have preferred and put his arm around my neck. He rubbed his nose over my forehead as August and Haden clambered about outside trying to get in. They rebuked him and commented on the cold, but he ignored them.
“Is this for him?” He asked. I noted that he kept his lips almost motionless so Haden and August couldn’t read his words.
“Maybe.”
He took in a deep breath. “I don’t approve.” He said as if he felt begrudged to have to tell me. He must have expected me to simply give up Garrett just because he said it. “He’s not the man for you.”
“It’s not a relationship, Devin. It’s just sex.”
“You have me for that.”
I groaned. “Devin. I don’t want that for us.”
“I don’t want that fucker touching you. I’ve seen the scars. All of them.” He added in case I wouldn’t understand what he was saying. My eyes widened mostly out of the shock that he had been peeping at me. “I don’t want him getting pleasure from you after he’s caused you so much pain.”
I sighed. There was no way to make him understand. “Devin, we were alone in this house for three months. He didn’t beat me the entire time. He’s a slow man to get to know, but he’s not nearly as cold as he seems.” Haden slammed her fist against the window and swore a list of profanities at Devin. He didn’t even seem to notice, or he was just immune to her insults. “You know I wouldn’t be who I am now if it weren’t for what he did.”
“Do you…love him?” He held his breath waiting for the painful answer to follow.
“No!” I laughed at him. “Right now I only love one man, and that’s you.”
His eyes danced over mine and he smiled revealing how flattered he was. “You really do, don’t you?” He tipped my chin up with his finger and kissed me tenderly. “Alright, I’ll back down on Garrett if you promise me that you won’t let him harm you anymore.” I opened my mouth to offer an amused “yes, dear,” but he interrupted already anticipating my response. “I’m serious Lenore. No more taking punches you don’t have to. You’re better than that now. Someone comes at you; you give them a reason to never do it again. Understand?”
I blinked away my shock at Devin being the forceful father figure, to pair with August’s motherly one. I nodded unable to find a good balance between, “okay” and “yes, sir.” He kissed me again this time less chastely. When he pulled back he winked at me and looked me over. “Well, you may want to keep this plutonic, but it doesn’t mean you have to start thinking of me as your brother.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.
”
-Hollywood-
Since none of us had competed in the past tournaments, we didn’t know about the changes that had taken place. The glitz and glamor that donned the entrance was astonishing. The once gladiator style event with hot dogs and beer, had turned into a red carpet movie premier event with champagne and fancy clothes. Photographers and reporters dappled the area akin to drug sniffing dogs at an airport.
As we approached the Qwest I was starting to feel less overdressed, and more underdressed. Add to that being late, due to the snow, we decided to sneak in the doors with the least hullabaloo, so we didn’t disrupt the festivities. Unfortunately, we didn’t make it.
“Haden Summers!” A photographer yelled right before blinding us with the flash on his camera. A slew of flashes came from all around us and I was instantaneously being crushed between August and Devin.
“What the fuck is this?” I heard Haden say before the explosion of random questions left me deaf to anything but Devin’s thumping heart.
As the stars in my vision faded I could see we were surrounded by a mob of nosey reporters and paparazzi, but without such things as restraining orders and common decency to keep them at bay, we were helpless to do anything but humor them.
Haden was being crushed into Devin’s chest right along with me, but I couldn’t feel August anymore. I panicked looking for her. I tried to wrench away from Devin, but he gripped me harder and tapped my shoulder. I looked up and strained my neck to meet my ear to his mouth. “She went to register.”
I nodded feeling my panic subside, but my aversion to crowded areas was rising in its place. As if that wasn’t enough, the loud gunshot not far from my head sent my heart into my throat.
The rampant attack of questions and pressing bodies, stopped. The mob now calm took a successive step back. Haden brandished her gun high, not pointing it at anyone. Her hearty glare however, she aimed at everyone.
“Now,” she used her big voice, the deep throaty one that either instilled fear or arousal depending on what words she paired it with. “Someone tell me what the fuck is going on here.”
A throat cleared among the aghast reporters and Jimmy the Card stepped out. His red hair was a little more chic, and his leather jacket and jeans, though reminiscent of an 80’s movie, did make him look a little less pubescent. He even donned tinted glasses, and if I wasn’t mistaken eyeliner.
“Haden,” he smiled showing off his broad teeth that his parents had probably tried and failed to repress with braces. “This is your first debut since your spectacular win three months ago.” His voice could have sold cars, won elections, and narrated for movies, but for now, he was Jimmy the Card, the voice of the metro.
“These ladies and gentlemen were sent on behalf of fans here and the surrounding states.” He continued to explain. “They just want to ask a few questions and take a few pictures. No reason to offer a demonstration.” He winked at her. I was pretty sure that Jimmy could have talked Haden into giving him her gun if he tried hard enough.
Devin had already let go of her, and he was easing up on me. Haden looked around at everyone and slowly holstered her gun under her arm. “You mean this is all for me?”
“Well they will report on the tournaments as well, but certainly the enthusiasm is for you.” Jimmy raised his hands to the reporters, single handedly becoming the force keeping them at bay instead of the threat of Haden shooting them. “Why don’t we head inside to your reserved seating, and I’m sure these fine people can ask their questions in a non-threatening way.”
We exchanged looks for consensus before moving, but in the end Jimmy’s forward progression was the only thing that propelled us into motion.
-Walk of Fame-
“Haden how long have you been shooting?” One reporter asked.
“Since I was nine.” Haden responded tersely.
This was news to me. Haden never shared much of her past with me, but then again none of us did. I had never told anyone that I had my appendix removed before kindergarten, or that I was adopted, but it had never come up. The past was in the past, wasn’t just a cliché in the new world, it was an epitaph for your memories so they didn’t drive you insane.
“Will you be competing in the finale?” Another asked.
“Of course,” she snarled at the stupid question.
“Are you Devin Reed?” A reporter shoved a microphone at his mouth nearly punching me in the face as he did.
“Yes,” Devin said quietly with menace in his eyes. “Now get your arm out of my friends face.”
The reporter looked at me as if he hadn’t seen me. I expected him to pay no heed to the request, but upon looking at me he turned sheepish and lowered his hand.
“Are you and Mr. Reed a couple?” One reporter asked, but neither Devin or Haden answered. Haden rolled her eyes and strode ahead of us taking the brunt of the crowd with her like a momma duck.
With my view cleared I started to look around. Devin took my hand as if he was concerned I might run off. “He’s probably already signed in.”
“I know.” I shrugged dismissing that as the reason I was looking around. “What do you make of all this?” He gave me a noncommittal grunt. “Why would people from out of state want to know what’s going on here?”
“The central states have the highest percentage of grim, but the lowest overall population. People in the populous areas are dealing with the human factor more than the grim. Most of the biggest cities are just burning to the ground, with the chaos. That’s why we came here, to get away from the people.”
“People are worse than grim?”
“Most days,” he looked like he was going to say more but didn’t.
“And that’s why you left Chicago?” I stopped walking and waited for confirmation. He stopped with me and waited for me to explain why I was giving the question so much presentation. “August made it sound like she was seeking me out. She wasn’t though, right? I mean, you guys just took pity on me by taking me in.”
He frowned crossing his arms. “What exactly do you want me to reassure you of?”
“I know August wants me to be all that I can be. I get that, and I’m starting to see what exactly that means, but…” I looked at the trail of reporters that were no longer in ear shot. “She makes it sound like I’m special.”
“Hey,” Devin brought my hand up to kiss it. I hadn’t realized I was trembling until then. “Are you asking me to tell you that you aren’t special?”
“Yes.” I pulled my hand from him to wipe away the goose bumps I was developing on my arms. “Devin I can’t be the hero, and it scares me to death that she thinks I can. I think she’s making a terrible mistake, and I don’t want any of you to get hurt because of me.”
“Why are you bringing this up now? Why the sudden change of heart?”
“ This isn’t a new emotion, Devin. I’m not a reluctant hero because I’m scared. I’m reluctant because I know she’s wrong.”
“Why are you telling me now? Why not yesterday, or a week ago?”
I furrowed my brow at the irrelevant questions. Why can’t I be heard? Doesn’t anyone get this? I’M NOT THE HERO YOU SEEK!
“I’m not sure what to tell you, Lenore.” He shifted drawing away from me. He was mad and not hiding it well. “We left Chicago because August said it was time to go. I never questioned it. I know you doubt her, because you doubt yourself, but August’s instincts are never wrong.”
Devin stalked on leaving me to trail behind him. Judging by the speed of his flee I realized that I had wounded him. I just wasn’t sure if it was the judgment on August or myself that had bothered him so much.
-Box Seats-
Haden was situated in her box seat with Jimmy the Card sitting right beside her. He must have been a very talented man, because he was not only getting her to smile, but also to laugh. Devin was sulking behind her with his foot propped on the back of her seat.
I slipped into the walled in box and knelt beside him. He looked at me wit
h a combination of anger, sadness, and disappointment. I couldn’t bare it, not from him.
“I’m sorry.” I hugged his stomach and for a moment I thought he might not offer me the forgiveness I desperately wanted and needed. He sighed and pet my hair. When I looked back up at him, the emotions were the same, but less searing. “I’m sorry.”
“You have to stop fighting this, Lenore.” He caressed my cheek. “Stop thinking about yourself. It has very little to do with you. Just follow your instincts.” I lowered my eyes knowing full well that my instincts weren’t telling me anything different than what I just told him.
“Whoever you were before the apocalypse.” He continued. “Whoever you thought you were…none of that matters anymore.”
I nodded feeling the irony of Devin using those words on me. I said those words to Priest to make him understand that he was under no obligation to continue being a priest in the new world. By that rationale, even though I was a nobody before the apocalypse, I could still be somebody now.
“The person you were, died that day.” He whispered just barely loud enough to be heard over the increasing party chatter of the event. “Let her go.”
My eyes danced over his face and for the first time I understood what August wanted. I understood what they all wanted. Three month of cuts and bruises, didn’t enlighten me. Three more months of August’s intense tutelage didn’t dawn the understanding that Devin had in three words.
Let her go. Let myself go. Stop trying to hang onto a person that only exists in my memories. The world had been rebirthed in the rapture. I needed to be reborn as well.
-Attempted Enlightenment and Champagne-
Two glasses of champagne later, the sudden realization that I had been wearing the life of a dead woman the last year and a half was starting to sound less dramatic. If the champagne wasn’t enough to tame my thoughts, my first glimpse of Garrett was.
Corn, Cows, and the Apocalypse (Part 1) Page 19
