“Thank you, Butthead.”
We head down the hall to the conference room, where our team is assembled, looking nervous and whispering anxiously among themselves. When we walk in, they all look up guiltily. Jill begins.
“Okay, guys. Here is the deal. We wanted to have this meeting to talk about the situation with Mallory and Brant. But we also want to use this as an opportunity to really explore some other issues that people might be concerned about regarding the business. Jodi and I are both aware of how hard you all work to make this company what it is, and how much you each have at stake personally in the success of this business. We would not be where we are without all of you, and so we do not want to make any decisions about the future of this company without hearing from you. We want to hear your open and honest opinions about what is best for us as a team. We all know this is not a democracy, but Jodi and I like to think of ourselves as benevolent dictators, and we hope that we have shown you in our years together that we respect each and every one of you and truly do listen to your counsel. I’m going to let Jodi say a few words, and then we’re going to open things up for discussion. What’s most important about this meeting is that, first and foremost, everything that is said in this room today is one hundred percent confidential. But more than that, everything that is said in this room today can be said without any fear of repercussions. If you disagree with any of the suggestions that we are going to make, we want you to voice that opinion. We can’t promise that we will act on it, but we can promise that we will hear you. Jodi, why don’t you start.”
“Thanks, Jill. I don’t have very many memories of our father. But one memory that does stick out for me happened just a few months before he passed away. Our dad, for those of you who don’t know, worked in manufacturing. He was the vice president of a company that built office furniture. He took me to work with him one afternoon and gave me a tour of the plant. And one of the things that I noticed was that as we were leaving, he went up to an older gentleman who was sweeping the floors, introduced me, and asked about the man’s wife and children. As we were leaving the plant, he looked at me and said, ‘You know that man that I just spoke to who was sweeping the floor? That whole company couldn’t work without that one man.’ I remember giggling as if my dad had made a joke. How silly it was to imagine that the man sweeping the floor was what made the company work. But my dad stopped me and said very seriously that he had not made a joke, that it was always important to remember that any company was only as good as its lowest-paid employee, and that he would not be a good manager unless he remembered every single day that the work that he does is only made possible by the work of that old man with the broom. Jill and I have always run this company on that principle. She and I don’t ever forget that this organization is only as successful as all of you make it. The only reason that she and I are free to talk on the radio and write books and make appearances and think of weird merchandising ideas is because all of you make the company run day to day. And we are as grateful for that as we have ever been for anything. Your loyalty and commitment is a daily gift to us. And we both hope that we are reasonably diligent about making that clear to you on a regular basis. For the first time in this young company’s life, we are faced with a serious dilemma, a problem, and we know that the decision we make about how to deal with this problem affects each and every one of you. We also know that you all are hesitant to hurt our feelings or disagree with us. But we need to put something on the table today and really hear from you what you think and feel about what lies ahead. I want to start by apologizing to all of you for having married a man who would remotely align himself with the kind of woman that Mallory has turned out to be.”
The assembly laughs.
“I’m not entirely kidding,” I say. Obviously, I could not have foreseen when I got married to Brant that someday I would divorce him, and several years later, he would meet the devil incarnate, and move her into his apartment. However, it is technically my fault that we are all in the pickle that we are in. And for that, I am genuinely sorry and horribly guilty.
“We all know that negative publicity, even when manipulated or half-true or outright false, can significantly damage the health of a company,” I continue. “We are in no position to know at this point in time how serious Mallory is. We do not know if Brant is aware of what she has threatened. And we don’t know how good her contacts are. We have to make a decision, and on both sides that decision is a risk. If we make the decision that no matter what happens we are going to stand firm and fight whatever comes, it is entirely possible that it may be a serious fight, and that it may take years to bounce back from the damage that could be done. There is no shame in making a financial settlement with someone in order to prevent that kind of damage to a company. It is done all the time, far more often than any of us even know or can imagine, and frequently board members and directors of companies make those decisions in order to make problems go away. One of the things that Jill and I did very early on in starting this business was to align ourselves with an incredibly talented insurance agent. And if it comes down to the need for a financial settlement, we are insured against that sort of damage. In other words, the actual settlement itself would be covered by our insurance, and while our premiums would go up, it would not materially damage the fiscal health of the organization. Paige has also done some research and has figured out an alternative to a cash settlement in the form of profit sharing, which is another option that we could consider if we decide to essentially throw some money at this problem to make it go away. There’s no shame in making this payoff, and there’s no shame for any of you in asking us to make this payoff if it is what we all believe is best for the company.”
Jill jumps in. “Look, guys. It’s my turn to apologize. I know that I can get a little overzealous when my principles are challenged, and I know that I came in here last week and gave a very impassioned speech about our integrity, about our intelligence, about the need to stand up and fight the good fight. And I realize that by making that speech, particularly by making it before asking you all for your initial thoughts and opinions, I was in no small way influencing the nature of the communication that followed. I still believe very strongly that this company can withstand any attempt by the likes of Mallory and Brant to damage our credibility. I genuinely believe that we are in a position to fight this openly and honestly, to stand our ground and to not just survive but thrive. But I also know that it isn’t a risk I can take on my own. And ultimately, I’m not so interested in being responsible for making that decision without you all. I won’t be angry with anyone if, after today, you change your vote to making a settlement. As Jodi said, there is no shame in that personally or professionally. If we go in that direction, it is because we honestly believe that it is the best thing for the company, and we will move on and continue to grow together. I also want to acknowledge that some of you may be having some concerns over the impact that my impending nuptials may ultimately have on the business. I know this is a crazy time. And I know that in most businesses, the marital status of the CEO is completely irrelevant. But it has been brought to my attention recently that when the name of your company is Spinster Inc. and the mission of your company is to empower single women to live their best lives, marital status suddenly gets put on the table for business discussion.”
There are murmurs around the room. A couple of people nod their heads, and a couple of people look away.
“Look, guys,” Jill continues, “I know you all care about me, and I know that you all are excited about my wedding for my personal sake. And I’m sorry that I was dismissive when somebody tried to tell me that perhaps it ought to be up for discussion. Not whether to get married, but how to handle it in terms of the business. And while I’m not going to cancel my wedding just to retain my spinsterhood for the sake of the company, I do want to ensure that there isn’t any sort of backlash. We are putting two things on the table right now for open discussion. The first is the Mallory/Brant
issue. We would like any of you who would like to weigh in with us on whether you are more in support of fighting the fight or more in support of making a settlement to make your voices heard. The second topic has less of the decision-making air to it and simply is more of a brainstorming session. What do you see as the potential negative ramifications of one of the Spinster Sisters not being a spinster anymore? And what, if any, are the potential positive impacts of that? We want to take this time to think through how best to handle the situation. And hopefully to turn it to our favor.” Jill looks over at me. I smile and turn back to the team.
“Guys, we’re not leaving this room until we make a decision about Brant and Mallory, and until we figure out the best way for the company to support Jill’s marriage. Are you guys up for it?” Around the table heads begin to nod.
“All right, then,” Jill says. “Who wants to begin?”
Jill holds her wineglass out to Hunter for a refill. “I really think it was the best meeting we’ve ever had,” she says. “Don’t you think, Jodi?”
“Absolutely,” I say. Once everybody got over their nervousness, people were very open and honest about their concerns. But it also became very clear how much those concerns were truly about the impact to us personally and the general success of the company and really very little about protecting their own interests. They hated the idea of Jill and me being dragged through the mud, and more than that, they all believe so strongly in our message and are so certain that we really do help people that they wanted to be sure that we could continue to do that effectively. It was truly amazing.
“Well, dears,” says Aunt Shirley. “I’m not in the least surprised. You have such wonderful people working with you. I would have been shocked if you had found anything different.”
“I agree,” says Ruth. “But let’s cut to the chase. Ultimately, what did you decide?”
“Well,” says Jill, “we debated the PR issue pretty extensively, and even though a few people still have some reservations,” she winks at me, “we all agreed that it is a clear connection to the message of our company to fight if it comes to that. So we have decided not to offer any sort of settlement and, in fact, not to have any communication with either Mallory or Brant for the time being and simply to see how it plays out.”
“I still think Brant may not be fully aware of what Mallory is up to,” I say. “And I also believe, when push comes to shove, that Mallory may in fact back off to protect her relationship with Brant once she realizes that we aren’t going to cave. At least, I really hope so.”
“And what about the other issue?” Hunter asks. “Am I about to be lynched by the entire staff of Spinster Inc. for taking one spinster off the market?”
“Actually,” Jill says, “I’m glad you bring it up. I’ve decided for the sake of the company not to marry you.”
There is a deafening silence as Hunter’s head whips around to look at her. Jill smiles at him and winks.
“You are so mean,” I say.
“You’ve got to stop playing these pranks. They’re going to give one of us a heart attack,” says Ruth.
That discussion, while slightly shorter than the other, was probably the most meaningful. It turned out that the underlying message that we send has far less to do with someone being single and far more to do with someone being true to themselves and is aimed at empowering people to live a life of joy, abundance, and personal success. It was interesting that Maddy actually brought up that she and Cleo had had a few ideas that they had been hesitant to bring to us, because she felt so strongly that it was sort of a top-down organization. That when it came to the big picture, Jill and I were in charge of ideas and the team was in charge of executing. But once we started, it became clear that we have assembled a team that is as passionate about our ideas as we are, and what’s more, a group of people who are creative and intelligent and have wonderful ideas of their own.
“Well,” says Jill, taking a sip of her wine. “What we figured out is that the company has grown to a point where it has to stop being so centrally focused on Jodi and me. That actually being a Spinster Sister has nothing to do with your marital status. Nor with your being blood related to one of us. Being a Spinster Sister is about attitude and lifestyle, and we have an office full of Spinster Sisters who embody that ideal just the way we do. So we are going to begin a marketing campaign that starts to make some of the other team members a part of being the face of the company.”
I take a sip of wine and jump in. “Paige and Kim came up with the idea of a campaign that opens up the company in, I think, a pretty exciting, and more important, inclusive way. So we’re going to start with a series of ads in magazines and on billboards and signs on buses that say things like, ‘Are you a Spinster Sister?’ ‘Be a Spinster Sister.’ And the second round of ads is going to have pictures of all the girls on the team with the tagline, ‘I’m a Spinster Sister.’
“We’re also going to change the website to include sections where the team members each get their own page and their own blog, and where our fans have opportunities to engage with and ask questions of any particular person in the company, not just Jill and me. We think, if we handle it right, that the new face of the company is going to be the entire company. And in that way we’ll be able to reach an even broader market and have a more inclusive message. If we can convince everybody that Spinster Sister is an attitude and not a legal term, it will eventually really broaden our market to be more accessible to women who aren’t single. Jill and I are going to propose that the next book we write is The Spinster Sisters on Marriage. Jill will cover the points of being newly married. I will cover the points about being married for a longer period of time, as well as some of the trials and tribulations associated with getting divorced. And we’re actually going to work with a third author for this book, someone who has been married for a very long time and is successful so that we have that demographic represented as well. It’ll open up a new ability to address the issues connected to sustaining relationships.”
“Well, I think it’s a brilliant idea,” says Hunter.
“We’re hoping to use the new campaign as a preemptive strike against Mallory,” Jill says. “In fact, Kim and her team decided to stay late tonight to get the initial round of ads and billboards designed so that we can start as early as next week getting them in place. Hopefully, by the time Mallory can plant her poison in the press, everybody will be too focused on the rebranding to pay much attention.”
“I’m very proud of you girls,” says Ruth. “I know that both of these difficult things have brought up some serious issues for you. It is very impressive that the two of you can work through them openly and honestly and not have it damage your relationship.”
“Well, we learned that from the best!” says Jill.
“Hear, hear,” I say. “I’d like to propose a toast to the original Spinster Sisters who taught us that sisters make the best friends, the best support, and the best business partners.”
We all raise our glasses in praise and drink to our health.
The Dynamic Duo
Does it feel greedy? I don’t think so. For me, dating more than one
man is no different than having more than one favorite restaurant.
Don’t forget, it is always my assumption when I’m dating more than
one person that the men I am dating are also dating other women. I
certainly don’t ask for exclusivity from someone with whom I am being
nonexclusive. I don’t think that dating more than one person takes
anyone off the market for anyone else. And in general, I find that the
nature of those types of dating relationships tend to be between people
who are both in the same place in their lives. I always try to be open
and honest with my partners and encourage them to be open and honest
with me. And I genuinely believe that it doesn’t do any harm to
play the field. I find that somet
imes women who only date one man at
a time tend to settle in making permanent connections to partners because
of the amount of time they have invested in one person, and
how daunting it is to end a relationship and start over from scratch.
Whereas dating multiple people allows someone to feel comfortable
about ending relationships that aren’t working and also to recognize
that truly exceptional singular partner when he does come along.
—From an interview in Jane magazine, Jodi Spingold, September 2006
“You take the last bite,” Abbot says, pushing the crème brûlée across the table to me. “I’m stuffed.”
“Well, if you insist,” I say, spooning the last delectable morsel of custard into my mouth. Abbot waves at our waiter for the check and then smiles at me.
“So, I’ve been having an idea, and I wanted to get your take on it.”
“All right,” I say. “Shoot.”
“Well, from all reports, being the maid of honor is an exhausting business in the best of cases, and certainly in your situation, considering everything that’s been going on, I have to assume that by the time the wedding duties are done, you are going to be much in need of some R & R. I have a client with a beautiful little villa in Tuscany, on a charming piece of property, with its own olive grove, in a village only an hour outside of Florence. He’s been offering it to me for years, and I thought that perhaps this summer might be a good time to take him up on that offer. He has informed me that it is free the first two weeks of June, and at my disposal. What would you say to allowing me to whisk you away for two weeks of wine, pasta, and relaxation after the wedding?”
My jaw drops open. “You’re serious.”
“Of course,” Abbot says.
“Two weeks?”
“Well, it could be less, but frankly, I would think a minimum of ten days to fully enjoy the amenities.”
The Spinster Sisters Page 24
