“Fuck. I hope you’re not planning on ever seeing this woman again,” Sinner said. “You screwed the pooch big time. I don’t know if there’s any amount of begging that can ever get you back in her good graces.”
I stood and paced the room. “Come on, guys. There has to be something I can do to make this up to her.”
“Dude, neither of us fucked up like this. Sure, we both had our issues, but we never did anything like that,” Sinner scoffed.
“I gotta agree with Sinner. I mean, I fucked things up pretty bad with Vanessa, but it was about my own issues and had nothing to do with her. You made her feel like shit and that’s not easy to come back from.”
“I get it. I fucked up so bad that I should be called every curse word in the book, but there has to be something I can do.”
“Beg,” Sinner said. “You get down on your knees and you fucking beg for her to take you back. You take things slow with her and make sure that she knows how much you want her for her. If you do get lucky enough that you get her back, you don’t fucking sleep with her right away, but you make sure she knows how bad you want her.”
“And whatever happens, don’t ever fucking comment on the size of her thighs again. Or her ass,” Cazzo threw in.
“I get that, but what exactly do I do?” Both of them stared at me, completely clueless. “You guys are fucking useless.”
“Says the man that insulted his woman on the second date,” Sinner pointed out. Fuck, he was right.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Claire
I STORMED INTO the house and straight up to my room, quickly changing into some work clothes. I didn’t work tomorrow, so it was a great opportunity to get some extra stuff done around the farm. Normally, I would take the night off and watch a movie, but I needed to do something to clear my head after the fiasco on the boat. Why did I have to be so goddamn spastic?
“Hey,” Lucy said as I walked downstairs. She was munching on a snack and drinking some iced tea, probably taking a break before she headed back out to get some more work done. “How’d the date go?”
“It went in the shitter. He called me fat and I threw up on him.”
“Good job, Claire bear. Sounds like you made a great impression.”
“It’s my specialty. I could write a book on how to push away a guy that’s insanely hot and totally out of my league.”
“He’s not out of your league. You just don’t realize what a catch you are.”
“Either way, I’m pretty sure that he won’t be calling me again. Why do I have to be such a spaz?”
“You’re not like that with everyone. Just the totally hot guys that make your panties wet.”
“Those are the ones I’d prefer not to scare away.”
“I guess you’ll just be stuck with the old, fat ones unless you can figure out a way to not fuck it up.”
“Maybe I just need practice. Do you know of any insanely hot men that would be willing to give me tips on how to pick up men, but wouldn’t expect me to sleep with them?”
“I do know of one guy. He’s insanely hot.”
“How hot are we talking?”
“Think Dwayne Johnson. He looks exactly like him and he’s just as ripped.”
“Do you really think he would help me?”
“I think I could persuade him,” she smirked.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Ugh. More apologies,” I said as I cleared the text from my phone. It had been nonstop for the past week, Derek messaging me and apologizing profusely for his rudeness when I hadn’t been feeling well. Seriously? I couldn’t believe that he thought apologies would make up for the way he treated me on the boat. Sure, it was disgusting and I wished like hell that I could take it back, but to treat me like I had done it on purpose or that I was a piece of trash was beyond embarrassing. There was no way I was going to give him another chance.
I heard a vehicle pull in the driveway and I didn’t know of anyone that was coming over, so I walked to the front door to see who it was. A woman stepped out carrying the most beautiful bouquet of flowers that I had ever seen and a basket of some sort. I raised an eyebrow, sure that this woman was lost.
“Can I help you?”
“Claire Grant?” I nodded. She smiled and handed me the vase of flowers. Wildflowers, I noted. There was also a large basket that was wrapped and I couldn’t see what was inside. The woman smiled wistfully and headed back for her car.
“Wait. I didn’t get a chance-”
She waved me off as she turned back around. “It’s all been taken care of. Enjoy!”
That was odd. I went inside and set the vase of flowers down on the table, searching for a card. When I found it, I was a little taken aback by what it said.
These are not from the hothouse.
There was no signature, but I figured there was only one person that would have sent me flowers and knew of my love for Jane Austen. Derek. I opened the basket that had been carefully wrapped and gasped when I saw what was inside. Pride and Prejudice, Memoirs of a Geisha, Jane Eyre, The Notebook, Gone With The Wind, Sense and Sensibility, A Walk to Remember, Outlander, Beautiful Disaster, The Thorn Birds, Northanger Abbey, Emma, The Tangled Ivy Trilogy, and Rebecca.
Inside the basket, on top of the books, was an envelope. I opened it up and saw Derek’s messy script.
I’m sure in one of theses books you can find a situation in which someone needs to be forgiven for something they said without thinking. Let me point you in the right direction. Emma. I’m sure you remember the scene well. Emma dismisses someone’s nonsensical ramblings and embarrasses the woman in front of all their friends. It took awhile, but she eventually was able to get forgiveness for her harsh words. I’m hoping that one day you will be able to do the same for me.
I read the note several times, wondering if he had actually read the books or if he had just looked up things about the books that might relate to what had happened. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it didn’t really matter. He went to the effort to find a way to relate to me on my terms and I appreciated it. Even though it was clear that we weren’t suited for each other, I was glad that I could at least walk away without being angry any more.
✯✯✯✯✯
“You’re sure he’s okay with this? It’s weird for him to do this. How many men do you know that would come help a girl figure out how to pick up men? It’s just weird. Besides, he works with Derek. I think we should leave.” I told Lucy as we sat in The Pub at a high table while Hunter grabbed our drinks.
“Would you relax? He wouldn’t have met us if he wasn’t okay with it.”
“How did you meet him? He’s so good looking.”
“I met him here, actually. He bought me some drinks and we’ve had a sort of…friendship since then.”
I looked questioningly at her. “What kind of friendship?”
“The mutually beneficial kind.”
“Like he comes and takes care of your car for you when it’s broken?”
“No, like the ‘I need to fuck and you’re available’ kind.” I stared at her, completely dumbstruck by what she was saying. I mean, logically I knew that happened. I was here to learn how to achieve that. Well, not that exactly, but how to get a man to notice me. She shrugged and threw a flirty wave his way. “It works for us.”
“Ladies, your drinks.”
He set down two beers and a gin martini for Lucy. I took my beer and chugged it, hoping that it would loosen me up a little before we got on with my lessons.
“So, Claire, what’s the hardest part for you when you meet a guy?” Hunter asked.
“Um..talking in general.”
He stared at me for a second before he burst out laughing. “Okay, I can see how that would be a problem. It’s okay to be shy. Guys don’t always want a woman that has the confidence of a seasoned hooker.”
“Hey,” Lucy said indignantly.
“Not you, babe. I like your hooker ways,” he grinned. Lucy ran a hand down his ar
m suggestively and her hand disappeared below the table for a minute. I caught Hunter’s eyes widening and then darkening as he whispered something in her ear and then kissed her silly. I felt like a gawker and blushed as I turned away, checking out the rest of the bar. When they finally came up for air, I turned back to Hunter.
“It’s not that I’m shy. I just don’t have a filter. I never know what’s appropriate to say and I always end up saying the wrong thing. I’m just..I don’t know what I’m doing.”
The truth was, I had always been socially awkward. Mom always thought it was a phase I would grow out of, but that didn’t seem to happen. I got worse when I hit puberty and started spilling my thoughts to every boy I met. I even got sent to the principal’s office a time or two for inappropriate behavior.
“Well, in order to help, I think I’m going to need to see you in action. Why don’t you finish your beer and then go up to that guy at the bar? I’ll watch you and then I can give you pointers.”
“You want me to go up to that guy and hit on him?”
“You don’t have to hit on him. Just strike up a conversation and see where it goes. Remember, not every guy has to be someone you would date.”
I nodded and finished my beer. “Okay, I can do this.” I stood up and walked over to the bar where a good looking guy in a suit was sitting. I sat down next to him, staring straight ahead as I waited for the bartender to come get my drink order. I kept looking at him out of the corner of my eye, but then looked away quickly when I thought he might be looking at me. The bartender stood in front of me with a sexy grin on his face.
“What can I get for you, sweetheart?”
“A beer. Whatever’s on tap.”
My hands were shaking with nervousness and I just wanted to get this over so that Hunter could tell me how the hell to act around men. The bartender slid my beer over to me and I tipped him, giving him a smile. I took a sip of my beer, choking when I inhaled the foam on the top of the beer. The man next to me patted me on the back gently and I caught him smiling at me as his touch turned from a gentle pat to a back rub. It seemed a little too familiar, but I went with it.
“Thank you. Too much foam. Went down the wrong pipe, which would be very bad because food that goes down the trachea and into the lungs can lead to pneumonia.”
He smiled good naturedly at me, which I took as a sign that I hadn’t totally blown it before I got his name.
“It happens. I’m Mike.”
“Claire.” I said, breathing a sigh of relief.
“What’s a beautiful woman like you doing here by yourself?”
“Oh, I’m not here by myself. I’m here with my sister and her friend,” I said, pointing over to the table I just came from.
“Ah,” he said grinning. “Sisters. That sounds promising.”
I looked at him oddly and then caught on to what he was hinting at. “No! No. It’s not like that. I’m not into…that. I mean, especially not with my sister. That would be just weird.” His smile started to fade and I got the feeling that I had offended him. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, if you like having sex with two women, or another man for that matter, you should definitely do it. Just not with me. But I’m sure you’ll find someone else out there that would love to do that. With you.”
“Lady, I just came to have a beer.”
“Right. Well, I’m sorry about the whole…menage a trois thing. I’m sure there’s another lovely lady or gentleman here that would be into that sort of thing with you. Look,” I pointed to a woman across the room playing darts. “That woman looks like she might be into that sort of thing. She definitely has the dirty girl vibe going on. You should talk to her about your situation. She’d probably be willing.”
“That’s my sister,” he growled. “And she’s not into that sort of shit.”
I stumbled off the stool and practically fell on my face as he stood to his full height. “I’m so sorry. I’m sure she’s not a hooker or into threesomes.”
He took a step toward me and I backed up, only to step into a hard body. I spun around and was relieved to see Hunter standing behind me with a menacing look on his face.
“Back away,” he snarled at the suit. Mike took a step back and his eyes flicked to me. “You should keep your bitch on her chain,” he said before turning and stalking out the door.
“What the hell did you say to him?” Hunter asked as he guided me back to the table.
“He thought that I was into a threesome with you and Lucy and I corrected him that I wasn’t into that and then suggested he find another woman who might be interested. I pointed to the woman by the darts and suggested he try her, that she looked like she was up for a good time. It turns out she’s his sister,” I said with a grimace.
Hunter shook his head and chuckled. “You weren’t kidding about saying too much. Okay, we can work on that.” Hunter looked around the bar and found another guy, pointing him out to me. The guy looked pretty laid back and was just hanging out with some friends.
“I don’t know. I mean, he looks normal, but I don’t want to interrupt his time with his friends. Isn’t that annoying?”
“Not if the girl is smoking hot,” he grinned.
“Oh,” my face fell. “Well, then I definitely shouldn’t go over there.”
Lucy rolled her eyes at me. “You’re hot, Claire bear. You just don’t realize it.”
“Go on over there, only this time, I want you to really think about what you want to say before you open your mouth. Remember, less is more when it comes to men.”
“Right.” I nodded and drank the rest of my beer and walked over to the man at the table. He was sitting with two other guys and a woman who was snuggled up to one of the other men. “Hi,” I said and then stood there awkwardly as I tried to decide what to say next. “I’m Claire.”
“Adam.”
I could feel my face flushing as I stood there trying to remember to think before I spoke. What was the next thing I should say? The more time that passed, the more I realized what a terrible idea this was. His friends were staring at me, so I just went for it, hoping I didn’t make a total ass of myself again. “I was wondering if I could buy you a drink.”
His eyes sparkled at me and he glanced to his friends with a smirk. “Sure, Claire. I’d love another beer.”
“Oh, okay.” I stood there for another minute before heading to the bar to order two more beers. I glanced over at Hunter, who was giving me a ‘what the fuck’ look. I shrugged and ordered the beer, then walked back to the table to deliver them.
“Thanks, Claire.” He turned back to his friends and they started talking, completely ignoring me. I got the distinct impression that I had just been played. Instead of hanging around to be humiliated further, I went back to my table and thumped my head against the table.
“So, what did you say to this one?” Hunter asked.
“I asked him if I could buy him a drink.”
“Claire, you never offer to buy a guy a drink. If he’s interested, he’ll buy one for you.”
“Ugh, I’m so bad at this.”
“Did you say anything else to him?”
“You said less is more.”
“Well, yeah, but you have to see if the guy is interested first.”
“You know, I think I’m done for the night. I’m completely terrible at this.”
“No way,” Lucy said. “You wanted help and we’re not leaving until you’ve successfully hit on a man.”
“At this rate, we’ll be closing down the bar.”
“Maybe you need something stronger, you know, really loosen you up.” Lucy walked over to the bar and ordered shots for all of us. I drank two down and felt my head get fuzzy. This probably wasn’t a good idea. I really only drank beer, so shots were going to really mess me up.
“Okay, Claire. Your turn to pick.”
I looked around the bar and sighed at the prospects. “I don’t think this is a good idea. At this point, I’m pretty sure every
one has seen me and they know what an easy target I am.”
“Alright, you can practice on me.”
I looked to Lucy, thinking she would be pretty pissed, but instead, she was nodding her head vigorously and grinning.
“Umm, okay.”
“Alright, let’s start with the basics. Why don’t you go to the bathroom and then come up to me like it’s our first time meeting.”
“Okay, I’ll be back.” I went to the bathroom and spent a good five minutes trying to figure out a good opening line. I couldn’t come up with a damn thing, so I decided to go out there and just wing it. Lucy was nowhere in sight and I imagined it was so it all felt more realistic. Approaching Hunter, I blushed when he winked at me and gave a sexy smirk. Lucy wasn’t lying when she told me about his good looks. He was devastatingly handsome and his muscles had my lady parts fluttering.
“Hi, I’m Claire,” I said robotically. It was the one line I could think up to say that wouldn’t be saying too much.
“I’m Hunter. Can I buy you a drink?”
“Sure.” I forced myself to not start listing off all the drinks that I wanted to avoid and smiled.
He waved over the waitress and I took a seat across from him, trying to keep my yap shut and let him do the talking. He ordered two Captain and coke’s and grinned at me.
“So, Claire. Tell me a little about yourself.”
“Well, I’m a Gemini, though I don’t really know anything about astrology. It’s not really something I’m into. I work on my family farm because my dad is getting old and can’t do it by himself anymore. I’m also the town librarian and-”
I stopped when he held up his hand. “First, you don’t want to do an information overload when you first meet a guy. Keep it simple. If he really wants to know more, he’ll ask. But if you say too much all at once, it’s like trying to push two dates into the first meeting.”
Irish: A Reed Security Romance (Reed Security Series Book 5) Page 9
