“I don’t know, he just left saying that he would make sure that she got the point. Whatever that was.”
I stood up, zoning out his voice. A few weeks ago, I would have confronted Ron, but Charlie’s presence in my life was clearly changing the way I reacted to problems. And if Ron was harassing her, then we definitely had a problem. However, I would tackle that later because right now, I needed to make sure Charlie was alright.
I waited for her beside her car because I knew she would be going to the hospital for her shift. She was a few minutes late, which, as I had learned in recent weeks, did not do her mood any good. I stood straight, with my hands in my pockets, and decided to get past the storm and apologize for my wrongs all at once.
She paused a few feet from me. “Can I help you?”
So, we were going the cold civility route. I could do this.
“You can tell me why you were talking to Ron yesterday, and what you two talked about.” I replied.
She laughed, that clear, musical laugh that made me want to run away with her and leave everything behind, just to hear it every day. Right now, though, that laugh was the prequel to a torrent of acid.
“Why don’t you ask your friend why he insists on bothering my peace?” she asked, raising her perfect hands to smooth her perfect wild hair into a perfect bun. God, I had it bad for her.
“I’m asking you,” I said instead.
She sighed, rolling her eyes and said, “Look, you made it clear when you missed our date and this morning in class that you and I owe each other no explanations. So what is this?”
That hurt, especially because I knew that that misunderstanding could be remedied or escalated by a simple, honest explanation. But there was no simplicity to the complicated mess that was my life.
“This is me asking you to keep your distance from Ron.”
“For his sake or mine?” she raised an eyebrow defiantly.
It was my turn to sigh. I liked her, but God, the girl was infuriating. “Charlie-”
“Because if it’s for my sake, you don’t get to pretend to care.” She shoved me aside, showing surprising strength for someone her size. I quickly stood firm and immovable before she said, “You don’t know me well enough to assume that I wouldn’t reverse straight into you.”
Considering our conversation over, she got into her car and drove off, leaving me wondering what it was about this girl that made me want to keep her at arm’s length and yet still, hold her in my arms.
I didn’t have time ponder this though, because I immediately spotted Ron and the other guys on the team make their way towards the parking lot. I debated whether this was the right time to confront him, but for the first time in months, I knew that even though I would’ve liked to beat the living daylights out of him, I wouldn’t. I had a feeling that the only side of me that Charlie knew was aggressive, and I wanted to change that.
They stopped a few feet from me, and Ron’s busted eye shot daggers at me.
“You have something to say to me?” he asked, biting the inside of his cheek.
“Yes, I do actually,” I said, adjusting my duffel bag on my shoulder. “Stay away from Charlie.”
He nodded slowly, but I knew it wasn’t in understanding, “I meant, do you have something to say to me, apologetically speaking?”
“No, I don’t.”
I could sense both the tension radiating off him and the one between us. If I hadn’t already boxed his skull in, he would probably lunge for me, but he didn’t. These days, no one ever dared to face off against me because until recently, I had had nothing to lose.
“You know,” he began, “that little girlfriend of yours really has a pair on her.” He smiled, as if recalling something only he knew, and it made me want to punch him again. He didn’t get to share any moment with Charlie, and even though I had been an asshole to her, I wanted to be the only person she was connected to.
“Ron, stop.” Gerald, our friend since grade school, warned him.
“No,” he scoffed, “I’m sick of everybody tiptoeing around ‘poor Alexander’ when we’re all dealing with the effects of that night-”
I seized him by the collar, “We do not all have a brother lying in hospital because you decided that it was wise to throw my phone in the pool and spike my drink!” I spat in his face. “Your brother is at home, safe and conscious! I don’t fucking know if Cole’s going to wake up again.” I heaved, “I hate myself, and because of you, I’ll never know if I could have saved him!”
He shoved me back against the car, “If you’d gone home early that night, you could be dead right now.”
I laughed cheerlessly, “So what, huh? You saved my life? Am I better off now, because I arrived home much later, to find Cole lying on the floor, fucking bleeding to death?!”
“Alexander,” someone in the group said, and for the first time since the incident, I could see remorse in their eyes. But worse, I could also see pity.
Ron leaned against the car opposite mine, his head hung low. It was the first time any of us had ever discussed the shooting, and my anger towards them for the stupid prank they pulled, trying to prove that they could get me wasted.
“Just…just stay the hell away from Charlie. Don’t ruin the one thing I have going for me, again.” I finished, leaving them awkwardly silent.
Charlie
I sat in my room, watching Gossip Girl for what was probably the tenth time. I had tried reading a book, listening to music, and watching movies, but every scene and lyric had ended up relating to Xander. Like now, I was thinking of how boys like Chuck Bass always held appeal from afar, but after the way Xander had treated me earlier today, I loathed boys like that. Still, that feeling didn’t stop me from watching, nor did it keep my mind off thoughts of Xander. I hated obsessing over why he had been a jerk to me, hated that it mattered to me to know what had set him off.
I didn’t notice my mother until she coughed, and I turned to see her standing at the door and eyeing me weirdly.
“What?” I asked.
“I’ve been calling you,” she said, smiling. I stared at her, waiting for her to continue.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.” I said flatly.
“That’s alright,” she replied, looking giddy.
I frowned, “Mom, are you okay?”
“Yes, come down for a minute.”
“Why, what’s up?” I asked, confused.
“Charlotte Grace Welman-Cane,” she began, “I’ll see you in the living room in a minute, sans the ugly sweater.”
She turned to leave, humming on the way down. I huffed, my sweater wasn’t ugly, I had made it myself from a YouTube tutorial. I was proud of it, even though at the time, my elder brother David had said that was probably why the YouTuber had only ten subscribers.
I took it off and tossed it on the bed. I really wasn’t in the mood to be one of my mom’s culinary guinea pigs. After several bouts of food poisoning and discovering my allergies to mushroom and seafood, I was beyond done.
I was mentally compiling all the reasons I wouldn’t taste her latest experiment when I entered the living room and saw my beaming mother, a smirking Mellissa…and my eyes collided with a pair of dangerously jet-black ones. Xander.
I sighed, trying to decide whether to save the hostility for a private conversation or just let my anger out. I also inwardly castigated myself for the butterflies I felt upon seeing him. Argh, surely I wasn’t that far gone.
“What are you doing here?” I blurted, my surging anger making the choice for me.
I caught my mother’s glare before she said, “Now, Charlotte, that is not the way we talk to friends. Alexander here was just telling us that he came to apologize.”
He smiled at her, that same smile that could disengage the most dangerous explosive. “Thank you, Mrs. Welman-Cane, but really, I deserve it.”
She returned his smile with one of her own, making Mel giggle in her seat, “No, I’m sure you don’t, seeing as you’re here to
do the mature thing and apologize.”
I rolled my eyes, earning myself a scowl from her. He looked up at me, and I forced myself to look away from that alluring inked gaze. I needed to stay mad at him.
“Sit down, Charlotte,” my mother chided. He smiled innocently at me as I sat on the sofa next to where he sat, and I knew that this was not all guilt and sincerity.
“So, I didn’t know you two were friends now,” my soon-to-be-deceased sister remarked from her place on the couch.
“That’s because we’re not.” I responded icily, exchanging glances with Xander who now looked remorseful.
“Charlotte!” my mother snapped. “Show some manners and get your guest something to drink.”
Xander spoke before I could, “Oh no, don’t worry, Ma’am. I’m fine.”
She swatted his hand in mock chastisement, “Come on now, I told you Beverley is just fine, no need to be formal.”
What? Beverley? Who even called her that these days? I rolled my eyes.
My eyes met Mel’s amused ones, which had widened below her raised eyebrows.
“I just came to apologize to Charlotte for being rude earlier today,” he said, giving my mother, whom the apology wasn’t meant for, his megawatt, rockstar smile. He blinked at me when he said my full name, and victoriously relished my mother’s gasp at his use of it.
“He called her Charlotte,” she whispered to Mel, while Xander almost burst into laughter.
“Mel and I were going to go to the kitchen anyway,” she stood up, still smiling, and dragged a reluctant Mel to her feet. “You’re staying for dinner, I hope.”
“No!” I rushed to his defence, even though he didn’t know it. “I mean, uhh…Xander has to catch up on assignments, he’s been so busy with basketball.”
He looked at me, seemingly upset at my deception, but he would thank me later. Yeah, I was mad at him, but I didn’t wish three days of diarrhoea on him either.
“Okay now, you can stop pretending to be decent,” I glared at him, wishing I didn’t find him so fascinating to look at. His red checked shirt, white T-shirt and black jeans suited him with effortless style. The shoulder length dark hair and boots just amplified the bad boy appeal. What annoyed me was that in my few years of dating, that had never been my type.
“I wasn’t,” he said, coming to sit next to me, “Well, I was enjoying annoying you just now, but I didn’t enjoy being rude to you earlier.”
I nodded, unsure of what to do now that this was going easier than I had anticipated.
“I’m sorry about today, all of it,” he said, transfixing me with those damned eyes.
“Why did you do that?” I asked, it was one of the numerous questions I had.
He stared at the huge picture frame behind me, “I guess you just caught me at a bad time-”
I was not having it, “Look, if you’re going to lie and give me half answers, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
I made to stand up and he gently tugged me down, holding my hand in both of his. Although I tried to keep my eyes on anything but the sight of our hands intertwined, his touched seeped into parts of me beyond the physical. This is probably what they meant by teenagers being hormonal. And yet, I wasn’t a teenager anymore.
“Charlie, I’m sorry about the way I spoke to you-”
“Yeah, I got that,” I interrupted.
He rolled his eyes and looked upwards, as if summoning all the angels in heaven to help him get through this. What help did he need? He wasn’t the one who had to put up with his moods and deal with his creepy ex-friends.
“I just can’t give you an explanation for it right now, but I promise it won’t happen again,” he said earnestly, and I wished my curiosity and need to know everything about him didn’t exist.
“Well, I think I deserve to know.” I replied, looking him in the eye, to show him I meant it and prove to myself that I could stand my ground with him.
“And I’ll tell you everything, I just want to do it in my own timing and on my terms,” he said, twisting the skull shaped ring on his index finger.
“It’s not an apology if you keep hiding things from me,” I said, louder than I had wanted to.
“Charlie, please…” his dark eyes implored me, but I was too far gone in my quest for the truth to listen.
“No! Why won’t you tell me anything?!” I pressed on.
“Because I like you, okay!” he yelled, standing up and shocking me into frozen silence. Then softly, he said, “I like you so much, and I don’t want to scare you away.”
I stood up, putting his larger hand in my smaller one. For someone who always has something to say, this was the worst moment to be rendered speechless.
“Charlie, say something. Anything.” He ran his other hand through his dark mane, a gesture I now associated with frustration and nervousness.
I couldn’t find the words to say, and so I put all I was feeling into the kiss I gave him. I snaked my hand around his neck and kissed him like I had never seen before. There was no precedence for this, no planning, just an impulsive baring of my feelings to him. He kissed me back, his hands on my waist held me steady, despite the chaos being unleashed in my mind by his mouth. He kissed me until I couldn’t remember ever having been kissed by anyone before.
Slowly, he broke contact and lowered his forehead to mine. His chest rose and fell with each erratic hammering of my heart.
“I-I have to go,” he finally said and without giving me a chance to respond, walked out the door, leaving me bewildered and breathless, but unutterably happy.
Xander
I think the thing with being a habitual screw-up is that even when you know the consequences of your impulsive actions, there is no inclination to stop. With Charlie, however, even if that inclination had risen, it would have been lost in the maze, blasted in the fireworks and explosions of being near her. I hadn’t meant to go to her house, but I had somehow ended up parked in her driveway, ready with an apology.
I had never been to a girl’s house, and had my friendship with Ron been fine right now, he’d be making fun of me. I had also never kissed a girl in her living room before, with the risk of her parents just walking in on us. I wasn’t a saint when it came to girls, but everything with Charlie felt like a first, and she made me bolder. Much, much bolder.
“I never thought I’d be telling you this, but I’m sort of maybe whipped,” I said, rubbing the overgrown curls off Cole’s forehead. “And if you wake up and remember this, you won’t get to make jokes about me because I miss you right now, and I now have several pictures of you with your hair looking like Goldilocks’”.
I sighed heavily, feeling somewhat calm and burdened. I hated hiding Cole from Charlie, but he was my little brother, and he was here because I had failed to protect him from the world. I had driven straight here after leaving Charlie’s. I didn’t know whether it was safe to return home, since our family meltdowns now included shattered china and broken furniture.
I continued to gently massage Cole’s palm, matching the rhythm of the beeping machines. “One day, I’d like you to meet her. She’s…she’s different, you know?” I laughed at myself, trying not to let the sadness I suddenly felt overwhelm me. “And it’s not because of her that I haven’t been visiting a lot lately, so don’t you wake up and be rude to my girl.” I sighed dejectedly, remembering that Cole was the mildest child, “I know you two would get along, she’d probably like you more for your openness…but we won’t have that. I’ll be better. I’ll be the one she falls in love with, because I think I love-”
My heart froze mid-sentence, and my eyes zoomed in on my hands where I held his. He’d moved! It was the slightest of movements, but I’d felt it like a punch to the gut. Maybe it was because I’d been waiting for a sign of life for almost a year, and endless hours on the internet had honed my detection skills. But my brother’s hand had flexed, and I’d felt it.
“Cole!” I stood up from the chair, absently noting it getting knocke
d to the floor, “Cole, do that again. Wake up, its X.”
I continued to encourage him and talk to him before hollering for the nurse. Fortunately for my imminent disappointment, the maternal Nurse Jill was on duty, and after examining his vitals and mimicking my actions, she told me that it was simply a reflex. Deflated, I stormed out of the room, convincing myself all the way to the car that it wasn’t just a reflex. Cole was going to wake up, and when he did, I would be there, never having given up on him.
I drove around before finally resigning myself to going home, and when I got there, the house was once again eerily silent, as if the last outburst was simply a figment of my imagination. Another strange matter was that the first person I wanted to tell about Cole’s ‘reflex’ was Charlie, who had never even met Cole before. I had just seen her a few hours earlier, and already, I couldn’t wait to see her again.
Charlie
I could hear my dad’s grumbling as I descended down the stairs for breakfast the next morning. My mom was giggling at something and asking Mel to confirm it to my dad.
“Mellissa, tell him I’m right,” she gushed, “He looks like a young Johnny Depp.”
Mel finished chewing her piece of toast and wiggled her eyebrows comically, “Mom, you do know I’m too young to know what a young Johnny Depp looked like, right?”
Mom shook her head at her before turning her attention to Dad, who poured coffee into his mug. “Darling, if that is Charlie’s boyfriend, then our daughter got my impeccable taste.”
I groaned, drawing attention to myself. “Mom, stop! Morning all.”
My dad looked over at me, “I wasn’t aware you’re dating, or that he comes over.”
“That’s because Xander is not my boyfriend, and he came over just once, to-”
“Apologize!” my mother cut in. “He has such good manners. And he seems to be the brooding, mysterious type.”
With Every Sunset Page 8
