He grinned lazily at me, “It’s actually a first, my mom is the only girl that’s ever worn it before.”
“Liar,” I said, hoping he was being honest.
“I’m not lying,” he said, “Yeah, some girls have had it printed, but this one is special.”
I stared at his chest, enjoying his awkward attempt at an explanation. “Special how?”
He sighed, chewing the inside of his cheek, “I mean, it’s new and won’t be duplicated.”
I considered this for a moment, making him more anxious.
“Look, if you don’t want it…I just wanted you to wear it,” he looked sideways, irritated.
Instead of responding, my hands went around his midsection and I kissed his neck, all the way to his ear. “It’s special because it’s coming from you, so of course I’d wear it.”
His shoulders visibly relaxed, “You were just trying to make me sweat, weren’t you?”
“Maybe.”
He rolled his eyes at me, “Your mother’s right, you know. You really did hit the jackpot with me.”
I playfully shoved him, then remembered something that had been on my mind.
“Xander?”
He pouted at me, “This is how you sound right before you ask a question I’d rather not answer.”
I ignored him, “What do you do at the hospital?”
His face clouded over, and he flexed his chiselled jawline. I knew we were probably going to get into a fight over it, but I needed to know.
“Charlie-” he said, his voice tired.
“Are you sick?” the panic in my voice was unconcealable. I didn’t want to imagine him suffering, and the strength of my feelings for him overwhelmed me at times.
He stared at me for a moment, “If I am?”
“Are you? That’s my question of the day, and you promised to be honest with me.”
“And I will, some things just take time to explain,” he answered.
“I just need to know you! Is that too much to ask?” I asked, and I hated the way he was making me upset and keeping me on the outside.
He remained silent, his face betraying a secret battle he was fighting inside his head. We stood facing each other, but I could feel the wide chasm between us. After what seemed like forever, he raised his hand to touch my cheek and smiled sadly at me.
“You have the most beautiful eyes, Charlie,” he whispered.
“What?” I asked, touched but also saddened by his attempt at distracting me.
“I promised to honestly tell you something you hadn’t asked if I couldn’t tell you what you wanted to know.”
He silently walked out of the garden and left me standing there alone, suddenly cold in my silk robe and slippers. I blinked to keep the tears away, but I couldn’t hide the pain that I felt whenever he shut me out.
Xander
Alexander Flynn Hastings II, also known as the biggest douchebag alive. I sat in my car, hating myself for the way I’d left her and the sadness in her eyes. For the millionth time since I asked her to be my girlfriend, I realized that she deserved better. Also for the millionth time, I was too selfish and too far gone to let her realize that fact too.
I felt so guilty for not coming clean about everything to her, and the possibility of her getting the wrong version of events from other people terrified me. How would she not believe them or dispute their story when I had given her none? I panicked and struggled to breathe as it dawned on me that I loved her. I was in love with her, and soon, I would lose her because telling her everything would make me admit to myself that I had failed. Then again, I was already a failure when she met me, sitting in my car by the edge of a cliff, ready to end my life.
I shook the demons away, I would never go down that road again. That was not how a man dealt with his issues. But what was it that a man did? I had no fucking clue.
I decided to go to the hospital, since it didn’t need to be visiting hours for me to be allowed in. It was one of the perks of my family’s status and their annual donations to the hospital, and being able to see Cole whenever made me grateful for their pretentious generosity.
After talking with the nurses for a few minutes and trying to convince Nurse Jill that I was indeed eating and sleeping well, I walked into Cole’s hospital room. There was a fresh bouquet of flowers, probably sent by my parents.
“Hey, man” I said, taking my usual seat by his bedside. “Looks like you’ll be missing another opening game. This Sleeping Beauty game has to end, Cole.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from crying, “I’m sorry, so sorry Cole. I’m sorry for not being responsible and doing my job as your brother, and now I’m sorry to myself for making the same mistake with Charlie.” I sniffed and wiped away the tears I was shedding for the first time in a long while. “It’s like I never learn from my mistakes, and both of you deserve better than that.”
My hand held his limp one as I poured my heart out. “I guess I don’t know where to start, how to tell her that I was getting wasted while my little brother was home alone, and in danger. She’d run for the hills, even before she meets mom and dad. I already cannot explain to her why I get into these fights with Ron, and now I run every time she asks me a question.” I laughed in between my crying, “And boy does she have a lot of questions. She says she wants to know me better, but I doubt she’ll still want me once she knows everything. I want her to stay, but I also don’t want her staying just because she has no idea who I really am.”
After talking for an hour, I decided it was late enough to head home. Aunt Bailey had promised to bring her famous pepper-steak pie over, so I didn’t need to buy anything to eat. I got up to leave, and I froze.
His fingers held onto mine and squeezed them weakly. He was holding onto me! I considered calling the nurses, then remembered the way they’d put a wet towel on my rekindled hope last time. I needed to be sure, so I gently tried to tug my hand free, and his fingers remained locked in mine.
Certain that this was actually happening, I pressed the button next to his monitor and Nurse Jill stormed in in an instant.
“Alex?”
I gestured for her to see and she gasped, “Really?”
I nodded fiercely, my tears coming again, “Yes, it wasn’t my imagination.”
She looked at me sadly, “Still, it could just be a reflex on his part. I want this to be more than that, but you have to be prepared for anything.”
My faith remained in place, I wouldn’t let her deter me. She called for the doctor, who, after examination, repeated what she had said. It was so hard for me to pry his fingers off mine, and it felt like I was letting go of a moment.
I went home feeling better than I had for the whole night, and I was surprised to find my parents awake and waiting for me.
“Alex, we have to talk to you about something,” my mother nervously fiddled with her ring and looked at my dad, who looked away.
“Alright, but I have to tell you guys something first.” I said, and excitedly delved into my story of what had happened at the hospital earlier. “It’s amazing, isn’t it? I know the doctor said we shouldn’t hope too much, but this is progress.” I finished.
My father looked at her accusingly, and she hung her head low. I was confused by their reaction, but blamed it on the shock.
“You put him up to this, didn’t you?” my father accused.
My mother’s wild eyes flicked from his to mine, “I didn’t! Alex, tell him I didn’t put you up to anything.”
“Liar!” my father bellowed, rising from his seat to stand in front of me. “How could you use your brother to prolong this nightmare?!”
I could smell the alcohol on his breath, but by now, I was wise enough not to point out his drunkenness to him. I had no idea what I’d walked in on, but somehow, I had made it worse.
“What are you talking about?” I finally asked.
He ignored my question, and swivelled to face my mother. “It is rather convenient that he tells us about this sudden improve
ment on the night we agreed to tell him our news, isn’t it?
My mother stared at him in desperation, “Maybe it’s a sign, I really didn’t tell him anything.”
He smashed his glass of whiskey to the tiled floor and she flinched. I moved to stand between them, fearing for the first time ever that he would get physical with her.
“Right, how miraculous!” he said, taking a step towards me.
“Dad, what’s going on?” I asked, worried about the way this would end. All I knew was that if he attacked her, I would kill him and my clarity on that terrified me.
He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, “Tell me the truth!”
“Let him go!” my mother screamed.
Before I could plead my case, he punched me and I staggered to the ground. He seemed momentarily shocked by his actions, but he quickly masked that with hurtful indifference. Standing before me was a stranger, a man who couldn’t possibly be the one who raised me. Hell, these two men couldn’t even have met in any lifetime.
I noticed my hands were bleeding from my fall onto the broken glass, and I could feel my head throbbing. My mother tried to pick me up, eventually giving up when I was too stunned to cooperate. She walked out of the room slowly, the dejected look on her face slicing through me, and my father left for the guest room. I picked myself up from the debris of my father’s outburst and went to sleep, head pounding and arms bleeding.
Charlie
I was beyond done, and today, I was going to let him have it. I had the lines rehearsed in my head, and I hoped they would come out right when confronted with the handsome devil that Xander was. I dabbed some concealer underneath my eyes to hide the tell-tale signs of my restless night. My heart hurt, but I needed to make it clear that I would not be lied to.
After going back and forth with myself on whether I should call him and ask him to meet up, I decided it would have more effect if I sprung our talk on him. That way, he would have no time to get his story together. I resented myself for plotting and being one of those people that have to go to such lengths to get the truth from their partners. I was angry at him for pushing me this far.
To my disappointment, he didn’t show up to our first class, and our last. I had to do the whole presentation we were working on by myself, and in my mind, I had already yelled at him five times. My day didn’t get any better when Ron walked over to where my friends and I sat in the cafeteria.
“Hey,” he said awkwardly.
“Hey,” I replied coolly.
He spun his basketball in his hands, concentrating on its movement, “Umm, can we talk for a second?”
I considered this for a minute, remembering Xander’s warnings about him, “Why?”
I could feel my friends’ stares moving from me to him, and I didn’t want to attract any unnecessary attention to myself. When he finally looked up at me, the fear in his eyes prompted my own, and my heart squeezed in panic.
“It’s Xander, isn’t it?” I asked, rising from the bench.
“Yeah, can we talk privately?”
I gave my friends apologetic glances and their understanding nods made me feel a bit of relief amidst the fear in my head. I walked out behind Ron, noticing the other members of the team staring at me on my way out.
As soon as we were outside, I asked him, “Is he okay? What’s wrong? Tell me.”
“I don’t know…I…have you seen him today?” he asked nervously.
“No, I was with him last night,” I said, the wheels in my mind spinning with horrifying scenarios.
“And you two didn’t talk at all this morning?”
I remembered the words I wanted to say to him this morning, and I felt terrible. “No, we didn’t. Why?”
He sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “He didn’t show up for practice, and ignored Coach’s phone calls, which he’s never done before.”
I took my cell phone out of the pocket of my hoodie and dialled his number. Voicemail. I tried four times, and still he didn’t pick up the phone.
“This could be nothing, maybe I’m overreacting,” he said, trying to walk back into the cafeteria.
His eyes widened when I put my hand on his elbow, “You know where he lives, right?”
He nodded, and I asked him to take me there. I had to see for myself that he was alright, regardless of whether he was angry at me or not. My own anger was dissolved by my anxiousness now.
“His parents could be there, and they banned me from visiting,” he informed me, but I was too worried about Xander to ask why.
“Then you can just leave me at the gate,” I said, leading him to the parking lot.
I got into my car and waited for him to follow, after which I pulled out of the parking lot with my heart heavy in my stomach.
“He’s never taken you to his house?” Ron asked me.
I hated having to tell him the truth, it felt like I was exposing cracks in our relationship, “No, he comes to my house.”
“Oh, okay,” he said, looking away from me.
“Why did his parents ban you from visiting?” I asked, figuring I might as well use this time I was tolerating him to get some information.
“Why do you think?” he challenged.
I stopped at a traffic light and faced him squarely, “Because you’re a bad influence, and a bad friend.”
He laughed sourly, “Bad friend, maybe. But no one influences Alex to do anything he doesn’t want to do.”
I almost smiled at that, reminding myself that although I was mad at him, he was a great guy.
“Are you in love with him?” he asked, after several minutes of uncomfortable silence.
“Maybe, are you?” I asked the question in mock seriousness, trying to distract myself for almost confessing something to him which I hadn’t yet confessed to Xander, or even myself.
“Am I what?”
I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel, cursing the third traffic light for delaying me. “Are you in love with him, too?”
He laughed, a sound I didn’t think could come out of him. “No, I’m not in love with your boyfriend.”
We stopped talking the closer we got to Xander’s house, and Ron only spoke to give me directions. I became increasingly anxious, and he started fidgeting in his seat. This was not a good sign. When we eventually got to the gate, I gaped at the massive size of their house. Scratch that, mansion. The size of it intimidated me, but the possibility of him being helpless in that huge fortress forced me to get out of the car.
Ron followed suit, and instructed me to ring the intercom. Just as he was getting back into the car, he turned to me. “Whatever you see in there, please just get him out. Save my number in your phone, and if there’s an emergency which requires the police, call me first. I’ll come in and see.
“What?” His warning triggered the fear in me, and I handed him my phone, which he placed back in my hand after saving his number.
“I’m just saying, be safe.”
I didn’t have time to dwell on his warning, and I pressed the red intercom button. A security guard came out of a small building, and after answering some questions about what I was doing there, he finally let me in.
I rang the doorbell for a few minutes before trying to open it on my own. To my surprise, it wasn’t locked and I walked straight into what must’ve been the living room. However, my relief was short-lived when I noticed the condition of the room. The expensive looking carpet had bloodstains, so did the white tiles where Xander’s phone was. There were shards of broken glass lying around, and a bottle of alcohol lay abandoned on the table. My stomach turned, and an instinct to find Xander took over.
I called his name, my voice echoing through the walls, “Xander!”
After getting no response, I dashed up the stairs to find his room. Thankfully, it didn’t take me long to find it, and him.
My heart sank.
He was lying on the floor, bleeding from cuts on his arms. His hair was matted to his face, and he winced at my
scream.
“Xander! Baby, what happened? Talk to me, please” I cried, sitting beside him and raising his head to cradle it in my lap.
“You…have to go,” he said gingerly.
“No! I’m not leaving you here.” I started sobbing, “Who did this to you?”
“Fell…” he whispered tiredly, “I fell on the glass.”
“Xander, did you do this on purpose?” I asked in between my sobs.
“N-no, baby. My dad…he…” the words faded on his lips. “I took some pain medication and passed out after…I swear.”
My heart broke. “I believe you. We have to take you to the hospital.”
He tried to protest, but I maintained my resolve. He seemed so tired, and I couldn’t risk an infection on his wounds. I dialled Ron, and when I told him what had happened, he hung up and was in the house in seconds.
Xander’s black eyes narrowed in anger at his presence, but I was too concerned about him to care about Ron.
“Go away,” he said. “Why did you bring her here?”
His question stung, and I swallowed down the hurt. I’m the one he didn’t want here?
Ron winced, “Alex, I’m here to help. Please let me, you won’t even have to acknowledge my existence after this.”
Xander relented with a frustrated grunt, and allowed Ron to help him stand and sit on the bed. I went into the en suite to search for a first aid kit and started examining his cuts. Thankfully, they weren’t too serious, and he insisted that he looked much worse than he felt.
I retrieved the metal box from the cabinet he’d said it was in and rushed back to his side.
“Don’t cry, baby,” he said softly, but seeing him like this, and the memory of him lying on the floor bleeding, stabbed at something deep inside me. I sniffed and took a deep breath, willing myself to be brave for him.
“Your dad do this?” Ron asked, leaning against the chest of drawers. I kept my eyes on applying disinfectant on his upper arm.
Xander winced at the pain and hesitated, a strange look passed between them before he nodded reluctantly.
“I’m calling the police,” I decided, my rage about to unleash itself on Xander’s father, whom I didn’t even know.
With Every Sunset Page 11
