“What?” Reality returned instantly. “What?” she said again, and her mouth remained open, her lips still forming the word.
Dan laughed, his eyes moving over her face. Firm fingers pressed beneath her chin to push her lips together.
“I want to take you to my home near Bend as soon as you’re released from the hospital. You’ll be in no condition either physically or mentally to stay alone. We have a big house. You won’t have to see anyone if you don’t want to, yet we’re only fifteen minutes from town. You’ll love the—“
“Hold it! We’re not living in the Dark Ages, Sir Lancelot. This is the twentieth century. When I leave this hospital I’m going straight back to my apartment and try to get my life back together. I’ve got six months to wait before the plastic surgeon can work on my . . . face. I still need to find out if my insurance will cover the cost of that and if I have a job.” She paused. The little short breaths she was forced to take because of her hurt ribs were not enough to allow for a long speech. Dan didn’t take advantage of the pause to speak. He waited patiently, his rough fingertips finding the pulsing vein in her wrist and holding it.
“Don’t plan my life,” she sputtered. “Not one day, one week, or one month. I won’t stand for it!”
She wondered if he knew her stomach was like a washing machine. Irritated at the thought that he knew so much about her, she said, “Leave me alone, Mr. Murdock, I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself!” She stared at him with a defiant look.
The quiet hung heavily after her outburst. He smiled and her blood ran cold. She stared at him in almost total panic, because in that smile had been threat, amusement, implacable determination, and admiration. The realization that he was being as tolerant of her outburst as if she were a stubborn child frightened her. She had the inescapable feeling that she could run from him all she liked, but he would be behind her every step of the way.
“I admire your independence,” he said softly. “I realize you and your mother had it pretty rough after your father left you. But don’t let what he did cloud your opinion of me. I won’t disappoint you. I’m delighted to find my Guinevere still somewhat inexperienced and man-wary at age twenty-seven. You have a freshness about you, an inner beauty that I’m attracted to.” His smile held a hint of possessiveness.
“I’m not attracted to you at all,” Casey lied, struggling to rally her defenses against him, but it was like swimming upstream against a strong current.
“You didn’t mind my kiss the other night. I’d really like to kiss you again if you promise not to snap at me.” The glitter in his eyes made her feel as though her heart might leap from her breast. She was too stunned to answer and her lips parted softly in surprise. “I think I’ll take my chances,” he said, lowering his mouth to hers.
At first the kiss was gentle as he explored without haste the flavor and texture of her mouth. His tongue stroked her lips, sweetly, hesitantly, but did not enter her mouth as if waiting for an invitation before the first tender invasion. Never had she been kissed like this before. Her mind fed on the new sensations created by his firm but gentle lips, the feel of his teeth, his tongue, the freshness of his mouth, and even the hardness of his nose lying beside hers.
He made the world spin.
When she did not protest—when in fact she welcomed it—he deepened the kiss with a mounting urgency. A wild crescendo rose within her and she felt she had become one with Dan and then an extension of him. That was how it would be if he made love to her, she realized. She wanted to fill her arms with his rock-hard body, nuzzle the cheeks that needed to be shaved twice a day. She longed to surround and enfold him in an intimate embrace.
His lips softened, caressed, and clung with a leisurely sweetness that held still the very moments of time. He lifted his head; his half-shuttered eyes looked into hers and her gaze wavered beneath his direct stare. A deep, inner restlessness flickered to life in the pit of her stomach.
“You see how it is? We can’t control our destiny, my Guinevere.” His lips briefly touched her nose. “And don’t be difficult about this, sweetheart. Go with the tide.” He stood abruptly. “Don’t say anything,” he cautioned. “Don’t say anything at all.” And with a faint brushing of his mouth against hers, he was gone.
Casey stared at the closed door. Damned if I’m not beginning to believe him, she thought.
Three
“And you’ll have a five-year supply of Allure products,” Neil Hamilton said as if he were giving her the earth. He moved restlessly about the room, edging ever closer to the door. “If something opens up in the office, later on, well give you a call. Meanwhile, you’ll have your workman’s compensation. God knows I’ve paid enough into that fund.” His voice had an irritated twang to it.
Thanks for nothing, Neil, Casey thought bitterly. I know, and you know, that you wouldn’t have a face like mine in your office. Every woman who worked for him was a walking advertisement for Allure. There was murder in Casey’s amber eyes as she looked at him. Damn him, she’d like to see what he would do in her position. How would he handle it? The bastard! He couldn’t even look at her!
“Jennifer will be able to take over your territory. God, I was lucky to get her.” He paused and glanced at Casey. “I’ll send her up to see you so you can give her a few pointers.”
Casey met his cool gaze and struggled back from the edge of that yawning pit of rage and misery that stretched before her. Summoning all the discipline, both mental and physical, for which she had fought so hard during the years she had been on her own, she refused to give way before this machine of a man.
“Don’t count on me to help her, Neil. I’m leaving Portland,” she said steadily.
“Surely you won’t be leaving for a few days.”
“Probably not for a few weeks,” she told him bitterly and let what she didn’t say speak for her.
With his smooth brows raised, Neil moved to the side of the bed and looked down at her. Casey would have had to be blind not to see the annoyed frown flash across his carefully composed features, or the scathing look in his eyes.
“You’re refusing to help after all I’ve done for you?”
“Yes. Just as you’re refusing to help me because I’ve been unfortunate enough to be disfigured in an accident. Let your Jennifer Carwilde learn the ropes the hard way, like I did.” Her voice rose in spite of her determination to stay calm. Angry resentment churned inside her, screaming to be released. “I gave you sixteen hours of my time every day for seven years, Neil. I’ve got seven years of experience and a scarred face. What has Jennifer Carwilde got?” she hissed, her angry eyes locking with his.
“She’s got a natural beauty that makes every woman who sees her green with envy and crazy to look just like her,” he said with cold deliberation. “I’ll pay you for the time you spend with her. She’s smart. She’ll learn fast.”
“You don’t have that much money, Neil.”
“You’d better knock off the sarcasm, Casey.
You’re forgetting who you’re talking to. You’re going to need references if you work again.”
“Don’t threaten me, you egotist! You don’t have the brains of a flea! That business will go down the drain within the next five years because you haven’t the foresight to deal with today’s market and you can’t see anything beyond a pretty face and a firm little behind. Now get the hell out of here!”
Casey could see him tense as if he were coiling to retaliate with physical force, but his words struck her more cruelly than the back of his hand against her face might have.
“And what are you, Casey Farrow, but a scarred broad? No amount of makeup will help and you’ll never work in the cosmetic field again!”
“Maybe not. But I’ve got it together on the inside where it counts,” she flung back desperately. “Now get out!” She fairly screamed the words, her control almost gone. “You sorry excuse for a human being! Get out! Get out!” Pushing herself up on her elbow, she bit back a groan at the poundi
ng ache in her head. The man before her, the table beside the bed, the white-walled room, all wove in and out of the red shadows threatening to engulf her. Her head throbbed, sending waves of nausea through her and she lay back.
“You’ll be sorry for this.” The voice came through a soft fuzziness that muffled even the sound of the door being flung open.
“What the hell . . .? Who are you?” Dan demanded as two strides brought him to the side of the bed. A muscle twitched alongside his mouth and he clenched and unclenched his fists, as if it cost him great effort not to use them.
“I’m her ex-boss, if it’s any of your business. The last boss she’ll ever have in the cosmetic industry!”
Hard hands grasped Neil by the shoulders and spun him around. “Mister, you don’t know how close you are to losing some teeth.” There was murder in the dark eyes and Neil recognized it.
For several seconds, Casey was sure she was going to faint. Panic gripped her. Dan, Neil . . . fighting? Neil was trying to shrug off the hands holding him, and Dan was propelling him to the door with the force of a hurricane.
“Get your hands off me! You haven’t heard the last of this!” Neil’s voice had lost its arrogant tone and was almost a whine.
“Listen, because I’m saying this only once. I’ll be at your office in one hour to collect her wages. Have checks ready for back pay plus a month’s vacation. You’re damned lucky I don’t break both your legs. Now, get!” A thrust of the powerful arms sent Neil into the hall.
Casey didn’t hear the door close or the footsteps bringing the big man to her bedside. She lay with her eyes closed. Beneath the covering her hands gripped each other, as the pain of Neil’s words jabbed at her again and again. Scarred Scarred . . . Scarred . . . She wanted nothing more than to slip into comforting oblivion and let sweet numbness drift over her. She’d had a taste of life’s cruelties before, but nothing had ever demoralized her like this. In a few short moments he had stripped her of will, physical courage, even the ability to reason. Something deep and primitive screamed from her very center that it wasn’t fair that this should happen to her. The tears began to flow. They came in a torrent from the depths of her misery. She tried to turn on her side, away from the door. The sheet slipped down over her shoulder, but even in her near hysterical state, she was conscious of it and frantically bunched it up about her neck.
Harsh sobs tore from her throat, bringing acute pain to her tortured body as her stomach and chest convulsed. She could no more stop them than she could a rumbling freight train.
For the first time in her life she was totally beaten, totally without spirit.
“Casey . . . don’t cry.” Dan sat on the edge of the bed. “The loss of a job isn’t the end of the world. Shhh . . . don’t cry.” His voice was pleading, but she wouldn’t be comforted. The shame and humiliation she had felt during the confrontation with Neil came surging back, and she resisted the hand on her shoulder, trying to shrug it away in spite of the pain that knifed through her injured breast.
“Go away,” she sobbed. “Go! Don’t look at me!” She pulled the sheet up over her face.
“All right. I won’t look at you if you don’t want me to. But don’t cry. That bastard isn’t worth one tear from your eyes.”
“You . . . don’t understand. Please go.” The agonized voice came from beneath the sheet.
“I can’t leave you like this, Casey.” Then he uttered a searing epithet which revealed his anger. “I could break that bastard’s neck,” he swore. His hand burrowed beneath the covering and his fingers caressed the soft skin on her inner forearm. “Don’t worry about losing that lousy job. Things will work out, I promise they will.”
“I don’t care about the job.” Her soft voice quavered and even more tears squeezed out from under the tightly closed lids. “I don’t care about the . . . damned job,” she repeated.
“Then what is it? Shhh . . . you’ll make yourself sick crying like this.” His voice lowered to a husky whisper. “Let me help you, Casey.” The sympathy in his voice jarred against her already taut nerves.
“Don’t feel sorry for me!” she lashed out. “I don’t need you ... or anyone.” She tried to jerk her arm from his grasp, but his fingers tightened.
“You don’t need me to feel sorry for you. You’re doing a good job of it yourself.” She could hear the words, but they weren’t making sense. “Was he your lover? Is that why you’re wallowing in all this self-pity?”
Damn him! She jerked the sheet away from her face. “No! I wouldn’t have slept with that slimy little toad if he was the last man on earth!” Anger crowded out the hurt. “Good. I didn’t think he was your type.” “Well, you’re not my type either, Sir Lancelot, so you might just as well get on your trusty steed and gallop off into the sunset,” she replied shrewishly. “I’ve got to polish my armor first.” She clamped her mouth shut and wished desperately that she was anywhere in the world but here, lying helplessly in bed with Dan’s hand clamped to her arm. Damn! Damn him!
He read her thoughts and lifted his brows in a way that made her want to strike out at him. “You’re going to have to learn, my Guinevere, that disappointment and grief are made easier if snared with someone who cares about you. Now tell your knight what’s troubling you, other than the fact that you’ve lost your job.”
“If you’re thinking you’ll go forth and do battle for me, Lancelot, forget it. I can fight my own battles.”
“I don’t doubt that one bit, Guinevere. But it would be much easier for you if I fought beside you.”
Her eyes burned up at him resentfully. “I’m not your damned Guinevere. I don’t intend to end up in a convent on some isolated coast. So forget it!” “And I don’t intend to end up in a monastery like Lancelot. But that’s beside the point.” His dark eyes were teasing and a secretive smile curved his mouth. Bending forward, he brushed his lips tantalizingly across hers.
“Stop that!”
He laughed, “Things didn’t turn out so great for Lancelot and Guinevere, but that doesn’t mean they won’t for us.”
With a groan of irritation, she turned away from him. “I wish you’d never come here!”
“No, you don’t. Besides, I had nothing to do with it.” Amusement glinted in his dark eyes. “It just happened. It was destined to happen.”
She rolled her head to look at him. He was grinning broadly. Her eyes challenged him and her thoughts whirled.
“Don’t give me any more of that reincarnation gibberish. I don’t buy it. But ... if I did have another life I was probably Cleopatra and you were the asp that bit me!” The words exploded from her tense lips and her eyes flashed at him.
He laughed aloud. “And I enjoyed biting your soft bosom.”
“I’m glad you’re amused,” she snapped. There was mischief in his dark eyes. Without thinking, she allowed the edges of her lips to curl upward. “You’ve got to be the most exasperating man I’ve ever met.”
“Thank you,” he said with mock politeness. “At least I’ve got your attention.” He plucked a tissue from the box on the table and wiped her eyes. “Okay. We’ve crossed this hurdle, let’s go on to the next.”
“What hurdle?”
“Shhh . . . and listen. I’ll go to your office and pick up your checks. Do you have any personal things you want me to bring back?”
“You don’t need to do this.” She couldn’t quite revive the sting in her voice that she had before. “I can get Judy to pick up my things.”
“Do you?” he insisted.
“Yes,” she said tiredly. “Linda McNiece, the office manager, will clean out my desk.”
Dan picked up the phone from the bedside table. “What’s the number?” Casey gave it to him and he dialed. “Linda McNiece, please. Hello, Linda. This is Dan Murdock, Casey Farrow’s fiance.” He clamped his hand over the mouthpiece when a gasp of protest escaped Casey’s lips. “You didn’t know she was engaged? I’m surprised she didn’t tell you. Oh, yes, we’ve known each other for y
ears.” Several hundred, he mouthed to Casey, and her lips tightened angrily. “Yes, we think it’s a good time for her to leave the company. We’re planning a family as soon as she’s able. We both love kids.” We didn’t get a chance to have any before, he mouthed silently and Casey fumed. “I’ll be down shortly, Linda. I’d appreciate it if you’d pack up Casey’s belongings and I’ll pick them up along with her checks.” He winked at Casey and she looked defiantly into his twinkling eyes. “Thank you. Yes, she’s doing fine now that I’m here to take care of her. See you in a while.” He hung up the phone.
“You . . . had no right to tell her that!” Casey sputtered. “We’re not engaged! I hardly know you.”
“She doesn’t know that, Cleo.”
“But I know it, you . . . you asp!”
Laugh lines fanned out from his eyes and they sparkled at her through thick lashes. His hand found hers beneath the covering and he took it gently in his. “Am I going to have to bite you again?”
A Love for All Time Page 4
