My parents hadn’t said anything since the video stopped. I turned my head and tugged at the opening of my shirt, straining to see the birthmark.
“The dark angels know how to find each other. Your marking was done with a spell and holy water. It makes you invisible to them,” my mother explained.
“So why didn’t it protect Sabrina?” I whispered.
“Jack told us she was double crossed,” Dad replied. “She had the protective marking, but Sabrina couldn’t let go of trying to save her brothers and sisters. She slipped up and told her sister where she was. Her sister’s loyalties were with Magnus – he’s the demon who rules Hell. That’s when he caught them and killed your father.”
“Do you believe us now?” my mom asked softly.
“I don’t know what to believe,” I said truthfully. “I need to think.”
It was that night that I drank the whisky until I passed out and woke up puking. But before I hit the pass out point I had decided to see if any of these powers were real – not that I was sure I believed the story, but if on the tiny chance it were true, didn’t that mean I should have some supernatural ability?
I made a drinking game out of it. I placed a quarter on the bed and tried to use my mind to flick it to the ceiling. Every time nothing happened, I took a drink of whisky.
After about the tenth time, the coin flew up and smacked the ceiling. Excited, I tried it over and over again, proving to myself that it wasn’t a fluke. Now I was drinking every time it did work.
I got bored with the coin and decided to try larger objects. There were some stuffed animals from my childhood that I’d never been able to part with. I slung them off the dresser and onto the floor, one by one, without so much as moving an inch. Then, using my mind, I put them back on the shelf in the same order they were in before.
I wasn’t sure if it was the whisky making me hallucinate or I really had the ability to move things with my mind.
The next day, when my head had cleared and the shock had (partially) subsided, I realized the awful truth – I really was half dark angel. I can’t explain why I knew, but I did.
Over the next few weeks, I came to a gradual realization. It didn’t matter what Sabrina said on that video about me living a normal life. I had no right to burden anyone else with my curse. And besides, who was she to predict my destiny? Her own siblings turned against her; she wanted to believe her daughter could be a good person, but deep down, even she must have had her doubts.
I thought about Sabrina a lot at first. Was she still alive? Did she really look up at the sky and think about her long lost daughter? I contacted Jack, retired now, and begged him to find out. But no one in his old division knew. They’d lost track of Sabrina over a decade ago.
I was furious with my parents. I felt like they told me because of their own guilt, not because of what was best for me. I had been betrayed by everyone I loved. First Damon, and then my parents. The only three people I had ever trusted with my life. And all of them were frauds.
So I retreated into myself. Vowed to be a loner, to interact with people as little as possible. I had been floundering about what I wanted to do with my life, and it was during that time I decided to become a pediatrician.
Dealing with children was different than adults. They were innocent, looking at the world through untainted eyes. And I knew that no matter what I became, if I did in fact embrace my dark side, I could never in a million years hurt a child.
And so I left my parents, my hometown, that stupid video, and everything else behind to start a new life. I never tried to move things with my mind again. I didn’t want to know if I could do it. No, I would live the straight and narrow, pretend I was as human as everyone else.
It worked for a while, but like real humans, I craved connection. First Maryanne, then Michael broke down my walls. I was foolishly convinced that I deserved to be happy.
But just like the story of Icarus, I had flown too close to the sun, stupidly believing I could have it all. And now, I was going to lose everything.
Chapter 25
I sat down on Maryanne’s bed, across from Damon. My heart was racing wildly and for a moment I thought I might black out.
“I know your mother was a dark angel. I know that you’re not completely human,” Damon said.
I couldn’t look at him. I had my head buried in my hands, elbows resting on my knees.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” Damon demanded, exasperated. “You’re not curious as to how I have the video?”
“How do you have the video?” I repeated dumbly, finally looking up at Damon.
He was smiling broadly. He knew he had all the power.
“After I saw your parents, I watched your house, thinking you’d come home some weekend to visit, that I could speak to you then,” Damon said. “But you never did. And then one day, I saw your mom returning from the store. She was locked out. She reached in the potted plant by the door and got a spare key.”
That fucking key. I had told her over and over again that it wasn’t safe, that it didn’t matter if we lived in a nice neighborhood. She had promised to get rid of that key. One more thing she had lied about.
“Anyway,” Damon continued, “I waited until both of your parents were out and decided to have a look around for myself. All I was hoping to find was some clue as to where you were. I started my search in your old bedroom.” Damon paused. “You really should have hidden it a little better. It was in the second drawer of your desk.”
I had almost brought the video with me to college, but had decided that it would be safer at home. But why should I have thought to hide it? No one had access to my room, no one would go through my things.
Even though Damon had seen the video, how could he so readily believe it? Maybe I could still convince him it was fake.
“That video is just a joke,” I said, hoping my voice sounded confident.
“Please,” Damon said, his tone turning nasty. “I saw your reaction when I told you I’d seen it. And besides, I did some research.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“After my family moved, I found a new group of friends. They were fascinated by the occult. I went along with them, not certain if I really believed that supernatural creatures existed. But then, when I saw this video, I knew it was all too real. And it explained how you gave me a concussion.”
Damon paused, giving me a chance to speak, but I said nothing. “I got back in touch with one of my high school buddies who was still into that shit. He checked it out and confirmed the story about your mother.”
I jolted into an upright position. “What do you know about Sabrina?”
“Relax,” Damon said, holding up his hand. “If she’s alive, she’s done a damn good job of hiding, and if she’s dead, nobody knows it.”
“Well then, you don’t know anything more than I do,” I said angrily.
“I know that they’re after you.”
“They?” I repeated. “Who the fuck are they?”
“Magnus and his demons. He’s still ruling Hell, twenty years later,” Damon said. “There’s a bounty on your head. No one knows how to find you.”
“So he’s trying to kill me?” I whispered.
“No, I’m not really sure why he wants you. Make him his slave? Control you? The bounty explicitly states that you’re wanted alive. They call you The Dark Moon. Your true identity is a complete mystery.”
The Dark Moon. Again I pictured my mother, looking up at the night sky, thinking about me.
“But you supposedly came here so we could get back together,” I said suspiciously. “You’re telling me that you don’t want to collect the reward? That makes no sense. How do I know you won’t turn me in?”
Damon looked at me as though I had said the most ludicrous thing he’d ever heard. “Because we’re soul mates. We belong together.”
I felt like I was going to be sick again. I swallowed hard.
“Don’t you see, Lana,
all these years, I knew I would come back for you, I knew I would find you again.” Damon was leaning forward, talking excitedly. “There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that I haven’t thought of you, dreamed of you. I’ve pictured this moment, when we would finally be reunited again, a million times. You can’t tell me you don’t think about me, that you don’t feel our connection.”
I only think about you when my mind forces me to relive that awful night at summer camp.
“I want you to come away with me,” Damon continued. “Like your mom said in that video, you have powers. I can help you hone them. We’ll be unstoppable. And we’ll be together.”
Damon was crazy. Mentally off. I had the brief, ridiculous thought that Damon and Abigail would be perfect for each other. Psychotic soul mates. I had to stifle a laugh. I was losing it.
But Michael and I had dated them, so what did that say about us? Maybe we were nuts, too, and just hadn’t realized it yet.
Damon appeared to be waiting for some type of answer. He was looking at me expectantly. I wasn’t scared of him hurting me physically, but I was terrified of him telling my secret to Maryanne and Michael. I had to make him think that I was at least considering his proposal, somehow buy myself time to come up with a plan.
“Okay,” I said slowly. “Can I think about it?”
Disappointment clouded Damon’s face, but to my relief, he nodded. “I don’t know what there is to think about, though, Lana.” His voice had the hint of a threat in it.
Because you hold all the cards. If you can’t have me, you’ll turn me in, or at the very least ruin my relationships with Michael and Maryanne. And then I had an even more horrific thought. If Damon couldn’t have me, would he possibly try to kill me?
“I – I just need time to take it all in,” I said, trying to muster a smile. He couldn’t know that his presence made my skin crawl.
Damon nodded. “You have one week to give me an answer,” he said.
I stood up, wiping my sweaty palms down the front of my shorts.
“I’d better go before Maryanne gets back from the gym,” Damon said. I walked him to the door, eager for him to leave.
As I was pulling it open, Damon leaned in to try to kiss me. I stepped backwards, pretending I hadn’t noticed, and said, “I’ll see you soon!” before slamming the door in his face.
After he was gone, I leaned against the door, breathing heavily, trying to comprehend what had just happened.
One week. I had to figure something out, and fast.
Chapter 26
I didn’t go back to Michael’s that night. He called me shortly after Damon left, disappointed to come home and find out I wasn’t there.
“Are you sure nothing’s wrong?” he pressed. “You could bring your work over here. I promise, I’ll let you study. I just want to be with you.”
“No,” I said, forcing a laugh. “I wouldn’t get any work done, and you know it.”
I avoided Michael on Monday and Tuesday as well. I could hear the hurt in his voice when he called me Tuesday night, again confused that I wouldn’t spend time with him.
Maryanne didn’t notice that I was living at the dorm, because she spent every night at Damon’s apartment. I felt sick that she was with him, but relieved for the time alone. Although as much as I thought about the huge mess I was in, I still had no idea what to tell Damon.
And the worst part was, even though he had given me a week to agree to his insane proposal, Damon cornered me on campus at every opportunity. He must have gotten my schedule, because everywhere I turned there he was, waving and smiling and acting like we were best friends.
“Just giving you the chance to tell me your answer,” he said cheerily on Wednesday afternoon.
“You told me I had a week,” I hissed back. “And I’m late for class.” I quickly pushed past him before he could say anything else.
I was worried Michael might rearrange his schedule to see me at the hospital, but he didn’t. Even though I wouldn’t know what to say to him, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. We had barely spoken since Sunday, which was, of course, completely my fault.
I was on autopilot during my shift, and Nurse Barbara must have sensed I was out of it because she made me leave early, insisting that there was nothing for me to do.
When I got home, I flopped down on my bed and massaged my temples. I’d had one long headache since Saturday night. Before, everything in my life was defined by that talk I had with my parents. Every life event, each memory fell on one side or the other, pre-talk or post-talk.
Now, it was defined by Damon’s return. How could I have been so happy on Saturday leading up to that dreadful double date at The Tracks? How could one moment change my life forever?
As I was lying there, mulling over the last few days, I came to a decision. I would have to leave. Run away. Never tell anyone where I had gone, not even my parents.
I couldn’t have Michael if I stayed here, not with Damon in the picture. And Maryanne would never forgive me for not telling her immediately that he was the one who tried to rape me – if she even believed me. There was no way I could stick around and do any more damage.
I would write emails to both of them. Tell Maryanne that she couldn’t be with Damon, confess that he was the boy from summer camp. In my letter to Michael, I’d tell him how much I loved him, but explain that I was a bad seed and he was better off without me.
Would they understand? No, probably not. But it was for their own good. I had to leave, and the sooner the better. It would take a few days to plan it, but at least I could start crafting my letters now.
Feeling like my heart was breaking, I pulled my laptop out from under my bed, poised to get the wretched emails written, so that I could focus on the next part of my plan.
I was deep in thought when I jumped at a knock on the door. It had to be Damon. Maybe I can pretend I’m not here. But he was such a livewire, so unpredictable; it was more dangerous not to talk to him than to just go ahead and find out what he wanted.
Sliding my laptop back under my bed, I got up and walked over to the door. “You said I had a week,” I was saying as I pulled it open.
But Damon wasn’t standing there.
“Michael!” I exclaimed.
“Expecting someone else?” he asked lightly. He hadn’t gone home to change before coming here; he was still in his scrubs.
“No,” I said, feeling my face heat up.
“Well, aren’t you going to invite me in?” He’d never been inside my dorm before.
I stepped aside so that Michael could come into the room. “Have a seat,” I said awkwardly, motioning to my bed.
“I’ll stand,” he replied.
It was like we were complete strangers, all of the intimate times we’d shared a distant memory.
“Why did you come here?” I asked quietly.
“I’ve been trying to understand why you’ve been avoiding me,” Michael started.
I wouldn’t look him in the eye.
“And then Becky called me yesterday.”
“To tell you again what a horrible person I am?” I asked, an edge to my voice.
“Actually, she said you were cheating on me.”
“Huh?” I laughed bitterly. “That’s a good one.”
“So you’re not cheating on me?” Michael had a funny expression on his face.
“No,” I said defensively. “I told you I was really busy with school.”
Michael rolled his eyes. “You always made time for me before, Lana.”
“So what?” I snapped. “You actually believe Becky?” This couldn’t be happening. Michael knew me better than anyone in the world, even Maryanne. He couldn’t possibly think that I was capable of going out on him.
“I didn’t at first – until she sent me this.” Michael held us his phone. It was a picture of Damon and me, taken during one of the times he’d waylaid me on the way to class. We were talking together; my head was down, but Damon was smiling – smilin
g the way you look at someone who’s more than a friend. And my body language could have easily been explained as shy, uncertain – the way I felt around Michael in the beginning.
“Are you nuts?” I asked in a high voice. “I’m not cheating on you with Maryanne’s boyfriend – or anyone for that matter!”
“Just tell me the truth, Lana!” Michael exploded. “The picture alone wouldn’t mean anything, but Becky saw him going into your dorm room Sunday – the day you were supposedly doing homework.”
“How do you know he wasn’t here to see his girlfriend? We do live together, after all,” I shot back.
“Becky said Maryanne wasn’t home.”
“Well she’s quite the little sleuth,” I said sarcastically. “Maybe she should drop out of college and join spy school.”
Michael sighed. “Just tell me the truth,” he said again, his voice wary. He had been standing the entire time, but now he sat down on my bed.
I sat down next to him, my mind reeling. I couldn’t – wouldn’t – let Michael believe I had cheated on him. But what other choice did I have?
The truth. What did I have to lose? I could tell him the truth, and if he didn’t believe me, I could still skip town. Carry on with my original plan.
“I’m not having an affair with Damon, but – but I did know him before Saturday night.”
Michael looked confused. “What do you mean?”
“Damon is the one who tried to force me to have sex with him at camp when we were fifteen,” I blurted out in one long sentence.
“What?” Michael asked incredulously.
“It’s true,” I said. “He was my first boyfriend. I was so shocked when he didn’t say anything on Saturday! I didn’t know what to do, so I pretended not to recognize him, either.”
I glanced at Michael. He still seemed uncertain. “Look,” I said. “Why would I lie about this? You’ve seen what a wreck I’ve been since Saturday night. And now Damon won’t leave me alone,” I continued. “Becky’s right – he did come over here. He said he wants me back.”
Dark Moon Page 15
