by Corbit, Dana
After Todd gave his order of potato-crusted Lake Superior whitefish and the waiter left the table, he turned back to Hannah, who was watching him.
“You sound as if you have a lot of experience in the first-date department.” She shouldn’t have brought it up again, but she couldn’t help being curious.
Todd raised an eyebrow, “If a lot means the three times in the last five years that my mother insisted I attend this or that function with the daughter of some executive in dad’s company, then I’m a first-date expert.”
“You are an expert compared to me,” she said with a grin. “This is my first first date. I haven’t had much interest in socializing with members of the opposite sex in the last few years.”
“But you had a lot of offers, didn’t you?” he said, though her comment appeared to surprise him.
Again, her cheeks felt warm, but she told him the truth, anway. “Yes, I’ve had some offers.”
“Especially from that one guy at your house. That Grant or somebody.”
The way he avoided her gaze suggested that his memory of Grant Sumner wasn’t as foggy as he would like her to believe. He wasn’t immune to a little latent jealousy on the matter, either.
“Yes, Grant was one of them.”
“What’s the story with that guy, anyway?” he asked too casually.
“Grant’s a great guy, a good friend, but he wasn’t the right person for me.” Hannah braced herself for Todd’s knowing glance that would suggest he knew just who that right person was, but he only nodded. “I tried not to encourage him, but I guess he thought someday…”
Hannah took a deep breath, still wishing she’d handled the situation better. “Well, anyway, I wish he would come back to church. I’ve missed him lately.”
“He’s probably having a tough time letting you go. I know from experience how difficult that is.”
She blinked. A jealous comment she would have expected, but Todd’s compassion surprised her. Many things about this adult Todd surprised and pleased her. Still, the conversation had become too serious, so she decided to lighten the mood by adding, “A few others asked me out, too.”
“You sure know how to kill a guy.”
Hannah chewed her lip, trying not to smile. “The infant safety seat in the back of my car probably discouraged a few of them, but I still had some calls.”
“I’m sure you did. Who could blame them?”
Soon they were both grinning, the discomfort that had been between them evaporating as their natural banter reemerged. They discovered that they did know each other, and what they didn’t know about their current lives they began to learn.
They traded samples from their dinners as they joked about old times and shared stories from the more recent past. Often, the conversation would sneak back to their daughter’s antics, and they laughed about those, as well.
Hannah felt more at peace than she’d been in a long time. She might have attributed it to the restaurant’s ambience—the candlelight, the murmur of quiet voices, the sense of romance blossoming at nearby tables—but she decided not to lie to herself this time. Her feelings had nothing to do with the atmosphere and everything to do with the company.
She’d caught Todd watching her a few times when he’d thought she wouldn’t notice. How could she not? The yearning in his gaze was strong enough to have awakened her from a sound sleep. Did Todd see a similar expression when she looked back at him?
No, she couldn’t have thoughts like that—thoughts of any future beyond tonight. Not yet. Maybe not ever. The risk was too great. The prospect of another loss too terrifying. Would she ever be able to recover if she lost him again?
“What time did you tell Mary Nelson you would pick up Rebecca?” Todd asked, drawing her from the abyss of her dark thoughts. “I was surprised you took Rebecca there instead of having Mrs. Nelson come to your apartment.”
Hannah set her fork aside and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Oh, didn’t I tell you? Rebecca gets to spend the night at Mrs. Nelson’s. Mary insisted, and Rebecca was thrilled about sleeping in Mary’s big guest bed.”
“She’ll really sleep there?”
“No, she’ll be crawling into Mary’s bed before the night is out. Mary doesn’t mind.”
“That’s good news.”
Hannah tilted her head to the side and gave him a quizzical look. “That Rebecca will be sneaking out of her bed in the middle of the night?”
Todd choked on the drink of water he’d just taken and coughed into his napkin before he could answer. “No. The good news is that you don’t have to rush right home. We can have dessert and coffee.”
“I don’t know…” Hannah said, a smile pulling at her lips. Strange, as confused as she was about the two of them and what the future might hold, the one thing she did know for certain was that she wanted to stay right where she was. With him.
“Come on…tiramisu, chocolate mousse, sorbet…”
“Well, when you put it like that…”
Todd wiped his forehead with his napkin as if he’d just survived an ordeal. “Whew, you’re a tough negotiator. I didn’t think I’d make it through that one.”
“I went easy on you that time.”
“I appreciate that.”
Hannah was rolling the last bite of the creamiest lemon tart she’d ever tasted around on her tongue when she caught Todd staring at her again. Her face felt warm under his regard, but she had to attribute at least part of the heat to the frothy cappuccino she’d been sipping.
Around them, the waitstaff had already begun clearing the tables and setting up for the next evening. Only one other couple remained at the corner table, probably newlyweds from the private glances they were exchanging.
“We should be getting home,” Hannah told him.
“Why? Do you have a curfew? You said Rebecca was settled for the night.”
Hannah wiped her mouth and set her napkin aside. “I have to work in the morning. Some of us don’t have the week between Christmas and New Year’s off each year. Some of us are just entering tax season where we’ll barely be coming up for air until after April 15, and that’s if we don’t file a bunch of extensions.”
“Oh, sorry. I forgot that you had to work.” He studied his dessert plate for several seconds before his head popped up again. “But you could take just a few minutes longer…so I could walk you home, right?”
“Walk me home? Won’t your car start?”
“It had better. It’s only a month old. I just thought that it looks like the perfect night for a walk. It will be good for us, especially after that dinner.”
Outside the restaurant’s front window, dozens of snowflakes were skittering toward the ground, but trees planted in the Main Street sidewalk weren’t swaying, so the wind from earlier in the day must have died down. She looked back at him.
“Then I’m glad you didn’t pick a restaurant in Novi or Northville. I don’t know if I would have been up for that hike.”
“But you can handle the three blocks to your house, right?”
Hannah let her shoulders slump and tried to look exhausted. “Barely. But I’ll make it.”
She glanced out the window again. Huge, perfect snowflakes continued to twirl as if to a symphony of silence. The sky appeared clear and bright with the sliver of a moon towering above it all. Hannah was tempted to let herself believe that God had staged the whole setting just for the two of them, their own private glimpse of His amazing firmament.
It wasn’t like her to give in to such romantic notions, but just this once, just in the expanse of time it took to reach her house, she wished for the freedom to be that young girl who still believed in happily ever after.
The wind picked up the minute they stepped outside, so Todd worried he might have made a tactical—and chilling—mistake. He tucked the scarf Hannah had given him more tightly around his neck and tugged his hat lower on his ears. Beside him, Hannah pulled the hood of her long dress coat up over her hair.
But the wind gust was only a long sigh before stillness resumed. He’d wanted a few more precious minutes with Hannah, and the car ride home would have been too short. He still had so much to say.
“I’m sorry this was our first date.”
Hannah turned toward him, her face peering out from the hood’s edge of faux fur. “What do you mean?”
“I should have taken you on dates when we were younger. You deserved to be treated to nice dinners, movies and shopping trips. You deserved to be cherished.” She had always deserved someone better than him, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it aloud.
“We never needed anything like that. Everything between us was so simple. We were…just us.”
“That’s because I never had the guts to ask you on a real date. You had to settle for just watching TV or playing foosball in the basement.”
“We had a great time.”
“You deserved more.”
They walked side by side in silence for a few seconds before Hannah started chuckling. “Even if you had asked me out, I’m not sure I would have been able to go. Dad and I never got around to the discussion of when I would be allowed to date. He always thought of me as his little girl.”
The image of Rebecca immediately appeared in his mind. He could relate to Reverend Bob’s feelings on that subject. He didn’t even want to think about someday having to let some good-for-nothing teenage boy take his little girl out to the movies. That had to be the hardest thing for any father—to realize he was no longer the only love of his daughter’s life.
Hannah continued as though unaware of how many years forward Todd’s thoughts had traveled.
“When I wouldn’t give the name of my baby’s father, I thought I was keeping this huge secret,” she said with a chuckle. “It wasn’t as if I had tons of opportunities to sneak out with boys. Not everyone would have known immediately, but for those close to me, their list of possible candidates was short.”
“I’m probably the only one who thought it could have been someone else.”
Hannah lifted a shoulder and let it drop, but she didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry I jumped to the conclusion that anyone else could have been Rebecca’s father. All I had to do was look at her to know the truth. And I should have known you wouldn’t—” Todd cleared his throat. This subject matter was nothing if not delicate. “That was just my stupid jealousy talking.”
“There never could have been anyone but—”
Though Hannah stopped herself, Todd realized what she’d almost said: you. She’d already told him she hadn’t dated in all these years, but was she really saying there was no one else for her? Just as he’d always known that Hannah was the only woman for him?
Before he could stop himself, Todd reached over and closed his gloved hand protectively over Hannah’s. He felt that same wave of wonder, of rightness that he’d experienced when he’d touched her hand in the restaurant. The sense was so powerful that he wondered if she could feel it, too.
But insecurities immediately invaded his peace. Would she pull away as she had earlier? Maybe she’d only been talking about her intention to avoid sexual temptation until she was married, and she hadn’t been indicating anything about her feelings for him.
He waited, his heart pounding, his palm damp under the glove. He didn’t even realize that they’d stopped walking until Hannah looked up at him and then down at their joined hands. Instead of pulling away, she shifted her hand until their gloved fingers laced.
Neither said a word. Neither had to. With her simple movement, like a tacit agreement made with touch, everything changed. They had so many possibilities, when not long ago there had been so few.
With the wider-spaced streetlamps to guide them and the occasional passing vehicle and the crunch of snow beneath their feet as the only sounds, they continued up Commerce Road, turning left on Union Street to reach Hannah’s apartment.
The wind picked up again, but Todd barely felt the chill. Hannah was this warm presence beside him, her hand fitting comfortably in his. The delicate, floral scent of her hair drifted into his nostrils, and he wanted nothing but to inhale the sweetness.
At her front steps, they paused, their hands unlacing and falling back to their sides. The temptation to draw Hannah into his arms was so overwhelming that Todd shoved his hands into his pockets to prevent it.
Hannah turned toward him, her face peeking out from the furry hood, but she stared at the ground and chewed her lip. He could just imagine what she had to be thinking. Did she dread the moment he would kiss her, or did she worry he wouldn’t want to? The irony tempted him to smile. He couldn’t imagine a time when he would be near Hannah and not want to kiss her, to hold her, to claim her as his own.
But now wasn’t the time for any of those things. This moment was too important. He had too much to show her.
Finally, Hannah glanced up at him. “Thank you for dinner. I had a really nice time.”
“Me, too.”
“Well, I had better…” She let her words trail off, her gaze darting to her front door.
Todd jutted out his right hand and waited.
Hannah drew her eyebrows together and tilted her head to the side.
He only smiled, lowering his hand. “In case you’re worried, I don’t plan to kiss you tonight.”
“I wasn’t worried,” she said, though everything about her tight demeanor suggested she was—either pro or con.
“Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not opposed to the idea.”
An embarrassed grin settled on her lovely mouth. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“This is a first date. I wouldn’t want to offend you by kissing you on our first date, so…” Again, he extended his hand, and she accepted it. The gesture felt surprisingly intimate because of the promise inherent in it. He would show her more respect this time. He would treat her the way she deserved to be treated.
Clearing her throat, Hannah stepped to the door and unlocked it. “Thanks again. I’m glad we did this.”
“Me, too.” He had descended the porch steps when he stopped and spoke over his shoulder. “You see, Hannah, everything will be different this time.”
Chapter Eleven
Different. Todd had warned Hannah to expect that, but he hadn’t prepared her for just how wonderful spending time with him would be. He’d proven both of those things so many times in the past three days as she’d seen almost as much of him as when he’d lived next door. Who could blame her for enjoying every minute of it?
Even as Hannah’s fingers clicked across the keys of her office computer late Friday morning, she could still picture Rebecca’s smiling face and hear her laughter as they’d taken her skating for the first time on the tiny ice rink at Central Park.
She touched her left hand with her right, remembering how nice it had been to hold hands with Todd on the couch after they’d put their daughter to bed. She needed to concentrate on the figures on the screen in front of her, but it was too tempting to remember the funny things he’d said and the way he looked at her that warmed her all the way to her heart.
“What are you smiling about? I thought you said those year-end figures were a mess.”
Hannah jerked her head to see her boss, Harold Lasbury, standing in her office doorway looking at her with one of those strange expressions he reserved for anyone who wasted too much time laughing or smiling. Her cheeks burned.
“Oh, they were, but I’m finally whipping them into shape. I’ve already reconciled the bank statement and have posted the cash disbursements and cash receipts.”
He cleared his throat. “Well, that’s good. You’ll want to compute the annual depreciation of equipment after lunch.”
Hannah nodded, though she already knew well what was necessary to finish the client’s year-end accounting. Sometimes Harold seemed to forget that she already had an accounting degree.
He started to leave but stopped and turned back to her. “Oh, you have a…guest in the waiting
area.”
Guest? She’d never heard her boss refer to a client that way before, and she certainly hadn’t scheduled any client appointments the last workday before the new year. That her boss raised an eyebrow before continuing to his own office only confused her more.
Tightening the hair clip at her nape and straightening her suit jacket, Hannah headed to the waiting area, preparing herself mentally to welcome an additional client on a day when she was too busy to even take a lunch hour.
But the sight that greeted her when she reached the cramped room, with standard-issue waiting chairs and salmon-colored wallpaper, made her smile again. Todd sat in one of the cushioned seats, a picnic basket taking up most of the seat next to him.
“What are you doing here?” she asked. “I told you I couldn’t have lunch today.” She wondered if it was okay for her to be secretly pleased about a visit that would put her behind for the rest of the afternoon.
He indicated the basket next to him. “No, you said you couldn’t leave for lunch today. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t go hungry.”
“Thanks.”
He stood and grabbed the basket handle. “Let’s go in your office and eat so you can get back to work.”
“What do you have in there?”
“Only the best impromptu picnic fare that money can buy.” He followed her into her office and set the basket on her desk. “Sandwiches from Village Deli with cherry turnovers for dessert from Milford Baking Company.”
“Boy, you had to work to get this stuff. Crossing Main Street at the lunch hour is like taking your life in your own hands.”
“I do think some of the drivers believe those pedestrian crosswalks in the middle of the street are just suggestions.” Todd set three sandwiches and two cans of soda on the desk and then pulled out a white bakery bag.
“Are all three of those for me?”
