by Amy Cross
"Wait!" I say, grabbing Todd's shoulder.
"I haven't got time to explain why you're wrong," he replies, not breaking his stride.
"Hang on!" I say, hurrying past him and blocking his way again. "I need to ask you one more question".
He sighs. "If you don't stop blocking my way," he says firmly, "I'll be forced to immobilize you. Is that what you want?"
"How well to do you know Benjamin?" I ask, immediately seeing a flicker of doubt in his eyes. "Todd, you blindly follow this guy, doing whatever he says, but what gives him the authority to make these decisions? Do you really think he's got Abby's best interests at heart?"
"Benjamin's a great man," Todd says. It sounds like he's trying to persuade not only me of this fact, but himself as well. "He knows how these creatures work. He knows what we have to do with them".
I stare at him for a moment. "Abby's not a creature," I remind him. "She's your sister's daughter. Are you sure Benjamin doesn't just see her as a specimen to be locked up, analyzed... maybe even dissected?"
"You don't know Benjamin the way I know him," Todd continues. "He's a scientist and a scholar. He knows how to protect Abby. He knows what's best for her. He can study her development and work out the best way to keep her safe. He's got her best interests at heart". He sighs. "I know you care about her, Shelley, and that's great. But as much as you want to look after her, you're in a world you don't understand. If Abby was a normal teenage girl, then I'd be on your side here. But she's not a normal teenage girl. She might look like she is, but she's not. Inside, she's something totally different. You have no idea what she is. Neither does she. Neither do I. Frankly, I don't think even Patrick knows everything about her. The only one who knows anything about her is Benjamin, and do you know why that is? It's because he's studied vampires, and he knows how they work, and he can make educated guesses. He's the only one who can give her the support and help she needs. Maybe you don't like him, but he's Abby's best hope".
"Is this what Sophie would have wanted?" I ask. "Armed men with tranquilizer guns hunting down her terrified teenage daughter?"
He pauses. "That's totally unfair," he says eventually, barging past me and heading into the main control room, where Benjamin is studying data on a laptop.
"Are you ready?" Benjamin asks, not looking up.
"Any idea where she is?" Todd asks.
"I thought you had a tracker on her?" I say. "Can't you just -"
"She removed it," Benjamin says, sounding rather annoyed. "We still have a tracker on Patrick, but so far he seems to be stay in one place, just outside Dedston. At some point, he has to go and find her himself. We'll just let him lead us straight to her".
"Patrick's not that stupid," I say.
Benjamin looks up at me. "Did I ask for your opinion?"
"I'm just saying that Patrick probably knows that you're watching him. Even if he can track Abby down, he's not gonna do anything that helps you, is he?"
There's a pause as Benjamin stares at me. "Remarkably, you might be right," he says, turning to Todd. "We have to assume that Patrick is capable of locating Abigail, but that he's choosing not to do so because he wants to frustrate our efforts".
Todd turns to me. "If you were her, where would you go?"
"I thought you didn't want my opinion?" I reply.
"Shelley, please..." he says.
"I have no idea where she's gone," I say. "She has no family, no friends, no nothing. She's alone out there in the world, and she has nowhere to go".
"I'm willing to offer you a deal," Benjamin says suddenly. He stands up and walks over to me. "I know we haven't exactly agreed on many things so far, Shelley, but I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong. You have a good relationship with Abigail, and we need to find a way to get her to trust us. Despite what you might think, my primary concern is for her well-being". He pauses. "If you're willing to help us find Abigail and get her to come back here, I'm happy for you to have a say in her treatment. Perhaps my approach isn't entirely effective. After all, I can't help her if she's scared of me, can I? I've made mistakes. For Abigail's sake, I'm hoping we can put aside our differences and work together. She needs us".
I stare at him, trying to work out of he's genuine. I have no doubt that he'd happily change his mind about any agreement later on, and there's be nothing I could do to stop him. At the same time, maybe he's genuinely realized that his approach isn't working; maybe he truly want my help.
"If I was in Abby's position," I say eventually, "I'd go home. I'd go back to New Mexico".
Benjamin shakes his head. "She's not stupid. She knows we'll be looking for her there. It's the one place in the world where she can be certain we'll have people looking for her".
"Sure," I reply, "it would be a mistake for her to go back there. But she's a scared girl with no home. She's alone out there. She's terrified. Trust me, she'll go back there, even though she probably knows deep down that it's the wrong choice".
"She might be right," Todd says.
Benjamin turns to him. "I'm still not convinced," he says after a moment, "but I'm willing to consider the possibility. Todd, take the equipment you need and head to Callerton. Check the town and the surrounding area. And..." He pauses, before glancing back at me. "Take her with you".
"Me?" I say, surprised by the vote of confidence.
"When we find Abigail," he continues, "I want you there. You might be able to persuade her to cooperate with us". He looks back at Todd. "But stay in touch. If we locate Abigail elsewhere, I'll need you two to be ready to move immediately".
"I think Shelley's right," Todd says. "The odds are, Abby's gone back to Callerton".
Benjamin shakes his head. "It's unlikely, but go and see. I must admit, I'll be rather disappointed if she's there. I'd hoped she might show more intelligence".
"It's not about intelligence," I say, annoyed by his attitude. "It's about being scared".
"Come on," Todd says to me, turning and heading out of the room.
"Go with him," Benjamin continues. "If you find Abigail, bring her back here. I assure you, I only want what's best for her. I know perhaps my treatment of Patrick seemed rather brutal, but I needed to keep him away from her". He pauses. "Shelley, I'm fully aware that my manner can sometimes be a little harsh. I must seem cruel and heartless at times, but you must look past all of that and recognize that my true aim is merely to help Abigail. Do you really think she's better off out there, alone, at the mercy of whatever creatures are able to track her down first? You saw the Tenderlings back at the diner. You must know I'm right".
"I won't let you hurt her," I say. "Just remember that". I head out of the room, following Todd along the corridor that leads to the exit. I still don't know whether I can trust Benjamin, but he's right about one thing: Abby is lost and alone in the world, and she needs help.
Chapter Three
Callerton, New Mexico.
"Are you okay?" Donna asks, her voice sounding a little weak. She's shivering slightly. It must be dawn soon. We've been out here in the dark for so long, I keep expecting to see daybreak on the horizon. It's almost as if time has stopped and we're destined to sit here together for the rest of time.
"I'm fine," I say, sitting a few meters away. "I'm not the one you should be worried about right now".
"You look like you're in pain," she replies.
"I'm not," I say firmly. The truth is, though: she's right. Although the intense pain from earlier has passed, I can still feel a sharp ache throughout my body. Something's definitely wrong with me, but I have no idea what. It's as if, deep inside, there's this set of razor blades slowly churning. Any moment, they might suddenly strike again, sending me into spasms of agony. I can't handle that level of pain again. I wish there was someone around who could fix it, or who could at least tell me what's wrong. Is this normal for someone like me? Am I changing? Am I dying? I wish there was someone I could ask; someone who knows whether this is supposed to be happening to me.
"I
am," Donna says after a moment.
"You are what?" I ask. I'd almost forgotten she was here.
"In pain," she replies. "My arm really hurts". She pauses for a moment. "If you let me go, I'll see a doctor but I swear to God I won't tell him what happened. I'll say I fell. I'll tell them I was out hiking and I got lost, and I fell, and that's how I got injured. I swear to fucking God, Abby, I'll never tell anyone about any of this". She pauses for a moment. "You know I'm not lying," she continues, sounding desperate. "Look, I know you could come and kill me if you found out I started talking, so I promise I'll keep my mouth shut. I don't want to cause you any trouble; I just don't want to die".
"Neither do I," I say. For a moment, the ache gets a little stronger, before ebbing away again.
"I want to go home," she says, her voice trembling as she fights back the tears.
"Do you really think I care?" I snap.
"I won't tell anyone," she whimpers.
"I know," I reply. "Who are you going to tell, anyway? What could they do about it? I'm not scared of anyone. Nobody can hurt me. I'm getting stronger all the time".
"Then let me go," she continues, close to tears. "I know I was mean to you in the past, but I never physically hurt you. I never broke your arm. Don't you think you've got your revenge now? You've done enough. Please, just let me go".
I shake my head, even though - deep down - I know she's right and everything she's saying is totally correct. The problem is that I still feel this urgent need to kill. It's strange, but I feel as if I need to have blood on my hands. If I don't kill Donna, then I'm just going to end up going out looking for someone else, and that doesn't seem fair. If I have to kill someone, Donna seems like the only viable target. I guess that sucks for her, but it's how things are going. The only question is when I kill her. I should strike fast, but something's holding me back. I'm not ready yet.
"What are you thinking about?" she asks.
"I'm thinking you should shut up," I reply. I turn to her, feeling nothing but disgust for her pathetic fear. "I'm thinking I can see through your attempts to make friends with me. What do you think's going to happen, Donna? Do you think I'm gonna start liking you?" I pause for a moment. "That's never going to happen," I tell her. "Do you know what you are to me? You're meat. You're a collection of bones and muscle and blood, tied up in a sack of skin that I could burst open at any moment. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to hold back from killing you?"
She stares at me, stunned. "You..." she starts to say, "you... you mentioned your parents earlier". We sit in silence for a moment. "Those people you lived with, they weren't your real... I mean, did you find your real parents?"
I nod. "Kind of".
"What were they like?"
"They were a little weird," I reply.
"You said your father would have killed me. Is he like you?"
I close my eyes, remembering Patrick back at the facility in Dedston. "I don't know," I say, before opening my eyes and staring at her. "I mean, I know what he's like. He killed my mother. But I don't know what I'm like. Not yet". I take a deep breath. "I don't know how much I take after him".
"He killed your mother?" She pauses. "My Dad hit my Mom," she says suddenly. "When I was younger, he used to hit her a lot. He never hit me, but I used to hide in the closet when I heard him punching her".
"I never knew that," I reply.
"One time, he knocked out some of her teeth," she continues. "She had to go to hospital, and he passed out drunk on the sofa. I picked her teeth off the floor and put them in a matchbox for her, in case she needed them later. Then my Dad got arrested, but my Mom wouldn't press charges so he was released. It carried on like that for years, until finally my Dad beat up some guy at work". She pauses. "The guy died, and my Dad got charged with killing him". She sniffs. "He keeps writing to me, asking me to go visit him, but..." Her voices trails off.
"You put her teeth in a matchbox?" I ask. For some reason, that's the part of the story that's stuck with me.
She smiles. "It made sense at the time. I..." She frowns. "That was two years ago. I guess they must still be there, in the back of the cupboard. It's weird. I never thought about getting them out again". There's a pause as she stares at me. "I hate my Dad. I really, really hate him. Do you hate me, Abby? I mean, do you really hate me?"
I shake my head. "I don't know," I tell her. I hate her pathetic human frailty, but at the same time I know that my mother was only human. If I hate human nature, then am I turning into my father? I feel as if I want to fight against my instincts and find some way to embrace humanity.
"Can I see your teeth again?" Donna asks suddenly.
I turn to her. "My teeth?"
"You showed me your teeth earlier. They were... different. They looked sharp, like..." She sounds genuinely interested, as if she's fascinated by my physiology. I can't say I blame her: after all, it's not every day that you find someone who's losing their humanity and becoming something else.
"Fangs?" I say.
She nods.
"Like vampire teeth?" I say.
She nods again.
I move closer to her. "Are you sure you want to see them?" I ask. "They're pretty gross. They're real, too. Aren't you worried that if I show them to you, I might be tempted to bite you?"
"Show me," she says, with fear in her eyes.
Feeling a little awkward, I open my mouth.
"Wider," she says.
I open my mouth as wide as I can, pulling back my lips to give her a proper view.
"Wow," she says. She reaches out a finger, and I feel her touching one of the two long fangs that recently grew near the front of my mouth. "That's so weird," she says, clearly engrossed. "It's like, totally the strangest thing I've ever seen". She moves her finger to the sharp tip, and suddenly she winces in pain and pulls her hand away. "Shit, that's sharp," she says.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
She shows me the finger. There's a bead of blood on the end. "Is that bad?" she asks. "Am I gonna get, like, infected or something now?"
I shake my head. "I don't think so. I think I'd have to bite you properly, and even then I don't know what would happen. I don't think it's as simple as just getting bitten and turning into a vampire". I stare at the blood as it trickles down her finger, onto her hand. "I haven't really tested them my teeth out yet. I don't know what they can do. There's still a lot I don't know about myself".
"Have you bitten anyone before?" she asks.
"Not yet".
"Are you going to?"
"I guess, some day. Not now".
She pauses. "Are you going to bite me?"
I shake my head. "That's not something I was planning to do".
She takes a deep breath. "Maybe you should," she says after a moment. "Maybe if we were both vampires, we could work together".
"No," I say. "That's not how it works".
"Why not?" she replies. "Don't you want to have a friend? I mean, do you know any other vampires?"
"Only my father," I say, "and he's not... I mean, I don't really know him. He's not my friend. Apart from him, there aren't any other vampires. I don't know the whole story, but the rest of them are all gone".
"So you're all alone?" she asks. "If you kill me, then you'll just be out in the forest by yourself". She smiles. "It's cold out here. Are you cold, or don't you feel things like that?"
I look up at the moon, hanging large and low in the sky. "I feel things like that," I say after a moment, before turning back to face her. I'd barely even noticed, but now I realize I'm close to shivering. "I'm not gonna bite you," I continue. "I don't want you to be like me. I don't -" I pause as I feel the pain in my gut and chest returning. For a moment, it's as if the razors are going to slash through me again, but after a few seconds the pain subsides again. It's getting worse each time, though, and more frequent. I can't carry on like this. Having got stronger and stronger over recent days, now I find that I'm getting weaker.
"What's wrong?
" Donna asks.
"Nothing," I say, determined not to let her see that I'm sick.
"Don't lie," she says. "Something's wrong with you. It's okay, you can tell me. Maybe I can help..."
I wait for the pain to completely go away. "It's just this feeling I get," I tell her eventually. "Sometimes, it's as if there's a load of razors in me, slicing through my body. I don't know why".
"Is it normal for..." She pauses. "I mean, is it normal for... creatures... like you?"
"I don't know," I reply. "I don't know anything. I'm kind of finding things out as I go along. It's not like someone gave me a guidebook. I can't go online and look this stuff up. Then -" My voice trails off as I realize someone's watching us. Turning to the left, I fully expect to see someone standing in the darkness, but there's no-one. I look around. I swear I felt someone staring straight at me, but there's no-one around.
"What's wrong?" Donna asks.
"Did you feel that?" I reply, turning back to her. "There was someone out there".
She shakes her head.
"You must have felt it," I continue. "There was someone nearby".
She stares at me for a moment. "Help!" she screams suddenly. "Help! Somebody -" I put my hand over her mouth to keep her quiet, holding her down firmly and easily managing to subdue her struggles. Glancing around, I'm still looking for whoever was watching me. I know there was someone: I felt the skin on the side of my neck tingle. We're not alone out here. I don't know who, or why, but there's someone nearby and they've seen us. God knows why they haven't already come over to make their presence known, but I don't feel like being disturbed. I want to be alone with Donna while I work up the courage to finish her off. Why can't the world just leave me alone and let me get on with working out who and what I am?
Chapter Four
Charles Keller Airport, just outside Dedston.
"Are you serious?" I shout as Todd leads me across the tarmac. It's 2am and the rain is lashing down, with a high wind blowing so fast it's almost impossible to hear anything. A small jet is parked ahead of us, its engines already running, and it's this jet that is apparently set to take us all the way down to Callerton. "You have your own fucking plane?"
