"Yes, Dr. Leslie. I am not at ease. It is not my habit to leave the ship. Like a zoo animal, I find a break in routine hard on my nerves.” She observed the efiFecTof this confession of vulnerability and, rather surprisingly, smiled. "I see you appreciated that simile. Good. Each small understanding helps. What puzzles me is that 1 care for your good opinion.”
"That is very flattering—”
"I never flatter, Dr. Leslie. I would not demean myself by so common a trick. I have been studying you intently these past several days. Through tapes and official files. I find you quite remarkable. Tell me, for example, how did you endure being alone for a month?”
"Oh, it was no hardship, Madame. I was very happy there. To be where no other human has ever been—”
"You did not find loneliness terrifying?”
Theo was going to explain, then, realizing, said, "We each have our own understanding of loneliness.”
The other woman did not reply, but merely nodded assent, then sat seemingly lost in thought. When she spoke again she did not apologize for the long silence.
"Concerning your petition to adopt Orlov minor. I have made my decision. It is admittedly arbitrary." Theo’s breathing became very shallow as she listened.
"The Orlovs are from Palus. But their child has never seen that colony. Because of her family’s real estate holdings she holds dual citizenship with Earth. She has never seen Earth. She has never had a home.
"The starship on which she was born is light years away, its crew of strangers scattered now across the galaxy. She may never see either again. Her parents were the one constant in her life. Now they too are gone.
"With their death you entered her life, Theodora Leslie. I am not sure it was an accident.” She raised an imperious hand to brush aside any chance that Theo might have the temerity to interrupt. "I know the facts. I saw your tapes. But facts as humans understand them are only part of the pattern—a few scratched tiles of an immense mosaic. You were there for some inexplicable reason, and by that 'fact’ became the pole on which this child’s world now turns.
"To put it simply, I am afraid that if I separate you two it will destroy Karen. You would go on. You would miss her and worry about her, but I doubt it would inflict lasting damage. But for the child it might be that final tragedy. She might never dare to care about anyone again for fear of losing them. I have seen too many people like that. Emotional cripples. If she was older, of course, she would know loves come and go like those waves down there .. . that none is the last and all are the same.”
The too-clear eyes focused on Theo. "You do know that, don’t you? You must. You seem quite whole.”
"I have not found love so common,” Theo said quietly. "And each seems very different to me. Very special.”
Madame Koh regarded her, skeptically at first, and then her expression softened. "Perhaps,” she said, "and it is not my duty to make you aware of what may be true only for me. As you pointed out before, we each have our own level of understanding.”
She swung her feet to the floor and stood up. The interview was obviously at an end. "It pleases me that something good has survived the tragedy and waste of this expedition. And if Orlov minor’s”—she glanced at her file—"meat pudding theory is correct, the expedition will not be a financial loss. She may be right. As for the legal details, you will adopt her. The Corporation will continue her financial support as part of her parents’ contract. She will retain her own name; her estates are in trust until her majority; she will choose her own course of study. I will suggest you be her Mentor. Her passions appear similar to yours, if inexplicable to me. Possibly due to some old Earth ancestor. Before you go off to find her, page Commander Tairas for me.”
"May I thank you?” said Theo. "May I be grateful?”
"No. For in time to come you will no longer be sure whether my decision was based on kindness ... or on a good sense of what was best for my own interests.”
"You underestimate yourself,” said Theo, "and you presume where I am concerned. And if you weren’t wearing that helmet, I would kiss you.”
"And I would never forgive you,” said Madame Koh. But she was smiling as Theo left.
I T rained less each day the shuttle stayed. With the return of the sun, plants that had sprung up unnoticed in the rain began to bloom. There was a shaggy fringe of flowers around each of the domes where wind-carried seeds had washed down and taken root. Overnight the trees with their seemingly ancient leaves became covered with yellow puffs.
There was little time for the staff to appreciate all this. The Vice Regent kept them busy. Like a house cat, Madame Koh seldom ventured outside. When she did, she could hardly wait to get back in again. She spent her nights aboard the shuttle and her days in Conference Room A. Everyone came to her, and her orders issued forth.
After reviewing the Vladimir’s medical staff report on the efficacy of Interferon X, she judged the remedy adequate. Theo and Dr. Wexler were commended for their work. Dr. Wexler and Dr. Felix were promptly sent off to the other two bases to administer Interferon X to all staff.
"Orlov minor” and Theo were ordered to complete their preliminary study on meat pudding cells, isolating the control factors in the cryptobiotic process. "I also want a second jointly authored paper on the subject, dealing with your cave bears. Nothing elaborate. An abstract and supporting microscope film will do.”
Theo stared at her. The Vice Regent obviously had no idea of the work involved. "But l’m not qualified to—”
"You have three days,” Madame Koh told her. "The final pharmaceutical result of this may be very profitable. If so, it will be due to your initial discovery. I want you both legally entitled to share in royalties.”
"But what if I’m wrong?”
"What if you’re right?”
"But my contract—”
"Will be amended. Do it.”
They did it; Karen with great enthusiasm, Theo with mixed feelings. Culture after culture, cell type after cell type, was desiccated, studied, ruined; desiccated, studied, killed—until finally one batch of skin cells revived and split. And told them nothing. Followed by twenty-seven more batches that died. Hour upon hour of tedium to isolate from the nerve tissue of meat puddings a unique molecular chain that served as an activating switch. Its receptor was the crystal virus.
That discovery made Theo pause and stare for a long time at the computer screen. If the virus infection had continued unchecked, would the result have been cryptobiotic humans? Was the fear and anxiety partially the result of a subtle dehydration? And when the rains ended and the humidity dropped, would humans have begun to wither and dry visibly? All staff members had been infected by the virus. If Interferon X had not been used . . . but it had been.
She did not want to begin to consider the subject truly, but merely made note of it as an avenue for possible future study by biochemical experts. Nor did she suggest its possibilities to Karen.
The cave bear tissue proved easier, since they now had an idea what they were looking for. And it was there—tiny suggestions of immortality among the dendrites. Theo wrote the required abstracts with no confidence and the nagging feeling she might be risking her reputation in a field in which she felt totally unqualified. She could imagine error coming back to haunt her in texts to come. And the scorn of the academics.
"Why do you care?” said Karen. "What you do is alive; what they do is dead. So who cares what they say?”
That such an observation not only made sense to Theo but reassured her made her smile each time she remembered it.
The abstracts were sent in to the Vice Regent. The next morning she sent for Theo.
"We are suspending the Eridan Project,” Madame Koh said by way of greeting. "The current staff will leave with the Prince Vladimir. It will take quite some time to prepare quarters on the ship and to settle issues here. It is a waste for you to spend that now limited time on this planet packing or doing lab work that could be more profitably done aboard ship. I want
you and the little Orlov to go back in the field. What is it that makes you smile? That you will leave this world? Or the prospect of being away from my demands?”
"Getting out in the field again. I like this world. If we must leave, it would be a shame to miss seeing its spring. Infants are being born and I don’t know how they feed. And where did the cave bears go and how do they reproduce? For they must. And the great swamp creatures ...”
"Yes.” There was no enthusiasm in the word. "While you are out there, for my own curiosity I should like to see pictures of those bear creatures—if you can manage that without becoming lunch. Now, about the Orlovs’ grave site. Unless the child objects, we will not disturb it. It seems both morbid and pointless to do otherwise. Do you disagree?”
"No. But I will discuss it with Karen.”
"We have your tape of their murder. We have confessions. For those and the others.” She noted Theo’s questioning look and explained. "I had drugs administered. I made them all relive those days. Interesting.”
The little hairs stood up on Theo’s arms. As if the staff at Base One were specimens to be studied, she thought, and then in fairness wondered if they were really so different, she and Madame Koh ? When presented with inexplicable animal behavior—
"And you will leave by noon,” she heard Madame Koh saying.
"I’m sorry. I was thinking of something else.”
"Yes. I said I want you away from here, promptly. Not you particularly, but Orlov minor. Staff from Base One are arriving soon. I am holding the trial here, at this Base. I want the worst of this ugly affair confined to this world. There is a limit to the degree of contamination I will allow aboard the Vladimir”
Theo wisely said nothing. Better not to question a statement like that, a power like that. She rose from her seat at the table. "Will we ever come back to Eridan ?” she asked.
The Vice Regent was engrossed in something new and answered without looking up. "I won’t. You might want to.”
XXXI
A. N hour later Theo and Karen were high in the air a hundred miles inland. The weather was beautiful. Above them fat clouds drifted south in the sunshine. Below, the formerly arid land shone with rivers and lakes reflecting the sky.
Animals dotted the plains. Every shining water had its complement of wildlife in or around it. All seemed serene and as peaceful as the two of them were beginning to feel. Theo set the speed at observation cruise and they loafed along, sightseeing.
Their conversation consisted mostly of "Look over there!”— at hillsides orange with flowers, at a herd of yellow grazers gamboling with their babies, at an enormous browser mowing its way across a swampy spot, at a rainbow to the north.
Then, "Cave bear!” Karen pointed toward a shallow canyon off to their left. Theo circled down to look. The animal was moving in the curious rippling lope of hexapeds, hurrying toward a small herd of brown grazing creatures who seemed unaware of danger.
When the shadow of the aircraft passed over, the cave bear slowed. Theo circled back and aimed the camera. As it saw the shadow return, the cave bear raised its head and saw the aircraft. If an animal’s mouth could be said to drop open in surprise, this one’s did. It stopped and stood, staring upward with a bewildered expression. As the craft circled, the cave bear turned also, keeping the aircraft in sight. Then, as if to get a closer view, it climbed the side of the canyon and stood on the highest point to watch them.
"I’ll bet it wishes it had a camera,” said Karen. "Its friends will never believe this story.”
"Does give you that feeling, doesn’t it?”
"What do you think happens to them?”
"My guess is a few reproduce or breed now. Or both. As their world gets progressively drier, instinct or hormones send them back to their mountain caves to wait for the next rainy season.”
"How long do they have to wait?”
Theo shrugged. "Perhaps years. I suspect these creatures are as rare as the rains here. Perhaps the last of their kind. The other animals are not accustomed to being live prey. They have no instinct to flee the cave bears until it’s too late. That suggests either unbelievable stupidity—or the simple fact that they are never hunted. I suspect it’s the latter.”
"I’d like to see that,” said Karen. "Them going back to their caves. The sun setting on a dying species. Make a great space opera—see, these two cave bears fall in love, and one of them dries up for a hundred years and the other gets so lonely—” She saw Theo was giving her "that look” and she subsided into giggles.
"Even Madame Koh should be satisfied with those shots,” Theo said. "You see if you can keep the camera on target while we lift away.”
"Theo?”
"Yes?”
"Where are we going to camp tonight?”
"Wherever we happen to be that is pleasant.”
"Can we go back to your special camp? Would you mind? I know it’s spoiled now for you, but ... I’d like to . . . see how the vots are.”
"And say good-bye?”
Karen nodded agreement and concentrated on looking out the window.
"I think the vots spent the rainy season high and dry in their tunnels.” Theo spoke to give the girl time to regain her composure. "Vots dig such comfortable burrows. Roomy and well ventilated. They have drying rooms for the hay they cut. And when it’s properly aged, they pack it into another chamber for storage. They even have bathrooms that they floor with sand and gravel.”
"Do they live together?” Karen sniffed discreetly.
"No. It seems to be one vot per burrow.”
“Don’t they get along?”
Theo grinned. “I imagine that if vots see too much of each other it’s difficult for them to find new things to talk about.”
It was late afternoon when they reached that mountaintop. It could be identified from the air by the spring, a gleaming topaz in the sun’s slanting rays. They circled carefully to make sure no cave bears were in the area and then landed above the old campsite.
“Are we on top of vots?” Karen worried.
“No. Solid rock.”
As soon as the hatch was open, a breeze drifted in. It smelled sweetly of herbs and drying hay. They got out and stood looking. The rains had made even this place bloom. Grasses grew wherever there was sandy soil. A vine-like plant wreathed over the rocks, decorating them with soft yellow flowers. Swarms of weejees fluttered over those flowers still in sunlight. Theo’s cave was deep in grass.
“Vot!” The sound came from somewhere below and echoed and was answered by cohorts. But no vot was in sight. Theo knew from past experience that it would take them a while to get over their shyness.
“I think I’ll go down there now,” Karen said, pointing to the mound at the edge of the small valley below.
“Shall I come with you?”
“No. I’ll go alone.” Karen set off down the hill.
While Theo worked, she kept an eye on her. The girl was sitting on a boulder near the mound. She seemed to be talking to the two who slept there. She talked for a long time, long enough for Theo to rig the alarm system carefully above vot height, unroll the sleeping bags, start dinner, and see the sun was beginning to go down.
When she heard footsteps on the rocks, she looked up to see Karen coming back up the path. The girl’s eyes were swollen, but she seemed to be at peace with the world. She sat down yoga style on the other side of the cooking area and watched Theo prepare dinner.
"I told them I was footnote stuff now,” Karen said after a while. “And I told them all about you. So they would know I was safe. And ...” She made a desperate little gesture with her hands. ”... I don’t know, Theo, it just doesn’t seem fair!”
“Fair has nothing to do with it,” Theo said gently but resolutely.
"I know that. Or at least I think I do. But sometimes...”
"Yes...” •
"Vot?”
"I said . . .” Theo started to repeat and then saw Karen beginning to smile. "Look! Up there at the en
d of the work wagon.” The girl pointed.
Theo turned and saw a large vot watching them. It sat with its forepaws folded demurely on its chest. Something small and furry moved behind the landing pods. Up onto the top of a pod hopped a small vot, then another. They stood cheek to cheek and rump to rump and stared at the intruders.
"Baby vots!” Theo was delighted.
"Vot!” said the parent.
"Votlings!” Karen’s pitch was loud with inspiration. "Votlings. Baby vots are votlings!”
"Vot?” said the parent.
"Vot! Vot! Vot!” echoed its friends from burrows about.
Theo heard rocks scuffle as Karen moved. She reached out a restraining hand. "I know you want to pick them up," she said softly. "So do I. But we would terrify them. Suppose a vot could pick us up?”
"But they look so cuddly,” protested Karen. "And they can't run as fast as the big vots.”
"Vot!” echoed the parent and set off another volley. Inspired by this chorus, the infants tried to join in. They stretched their necks and twisted their small, round heads. Their jaws strained with effort. The only sound that resulted was human laughter. As if offended, the parent vot dropped to its paws and disappeared over the rocks. Its children scrambled after.
"We hurt their feelings,” Karen said, genuinely contrite. "We did, didn’t we?”
"I don’t know,” came the honest answer. "Perhaps. Or perhaps our laughter is offensive noise to their ears. But they will be back. Vot curiosity outweighs vot dignity. Let’s eat our supper.” The three moons rose as they ate. The moonlight gleamed on the spring and cast long shadows between the hills. By its light they could see vots moving about in the night. But nothing else. It was all as peaceful as Theo remembered.
After they climbed into their sleeping bags, the wind died down. In the stillness they could hear the spring splashing down the stones. There was another noise, a brisk snipping sound. "What is that?” Karen whispered. "Vots,” Theo whispered back and hoped she wouldn’t be overheard by the animals. "They are cutting grass so it will start to dry as soon as the sun comes up.”
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