There was more laughter, but Marybeth still could not speak. “Here are your babies,” Delores was saying. Josh reluctantly let go of Marybeth, but kept hold of her hand as he knelt down to study the sleeping twins. He reached out to touch their tiny, velvety cheeks. “How old are they?”
“Six weeks,” Delores answered.
“Hell, I don’t—” His voice broke, and he kept his head bent as he wiped at his eyes. “I don’t know which is which,” he said jokingly.
Marybeth knelt down beside him. “The one closest to you is your son, Joseph. The other one is your daughter, Emma.”
Josh looked at her. “Cap told me what you named them. That was really nice, Marybeth.” Their eyes held, and he put a hand to her face. “God, I can’t believe I’m really looking at you—touching you.”
She broke into uncontrolled sobbing again as she hugged him tightly around the neck. “Oh, Josh! Josh! You’re alive and…walking. You’re really here!”
Aaron leaned down to them. “We have a lot to talk about, Josh. We can do that tomorrow. Why don’t you take Marybeth and the babies back to the house for now. We’ll watch after Danny and we’ll all stay over at Sam’s place tonight and leave the two of you alone.”
Josh rose, pulling Marybeth up with him. “I’d appreciate it, Aaron. Sorry to surprise you this way, but there was no way of telling when we’d get here.”
“Did you really think we would mind? This is the best surprise any of us could have asked for. We’re just damn glad to see you, especially looking as good as you do. I guess all of our prayers worked.”
“Hell, I was only about half way to Fort Hall when I run into him,” Cap put in. “He was already this side of the mountains.”
Marybeth let go of Josh just long enough to give Cap a tearful hug. “Thank you, Cap. You saved his life. He’d be dead if it wasn’t for you.”
Cap patted her back. “Well, at the time I wasn’t sure if I’d saved him or killed him. I’m as relieved as everybody else.”
“Let’s go back to the house,” Josh was saying. Was it really and truly his voice, his arm around her? She took the wagon handle and he took hold of his horse’s rein but kept one arm around her as they headed back toward the Svensson’s house. A few people stared, some of the women commenting it must be the long-lost husband.
“How wonderful for her,” Marybeth heard someone say.
Yes, how wonderful. She was so afraid she would wake up from this wonderful dream. They left the crowds and he kissed her hair. “You look more beautiful than I even remembered,” he told her.
“I got fat as a buffalo before the twins were born,” she answered, stopping to take a handkerchief from a pocket of her dress. She blew her nose and looked up at him. “I still haven’t…lost all the weight.”
“You look beautiful.” He wiped at his own eyes with his shirtsleeve and looked her over. Her own eyes fell to his middle.
“Are you really all healed, Josh? Does everything work right—you can eat and all?”
“I’ve been eating regularly for quite a while now. It’s a long story, and as long as I’m healing, I don’t want to even talk about it, Marybeth. It’s something I’d rather forget for a while, if that’s possible.” He touched her face. “I just want to feel you in my arms again, be a husband to you again, take you to the valley and settle like we dreamed about doing.” He leaned down and kissed her lightly. “We’ve got some catching up to do.”
She knew she should tell him about John, but not now. She didn’t want to spoil the moment. All that mattered was that he was here, alive, well, walking, holding her. She reddened, feeling suddenly awkward. They had been apart for months, loving each other desperately but now feeling almost like strangers. He put an arm back around her and they walked together to the house. Josh tied his horse and they went inside.
“I want to get a good look at the babies,” he said, pulling the wagon to a chair and sitting down. He pulled the blankets away and looked down at tiny arms and legs, miniature fingers and toes. “My God, Marybeth, they’re beautiful—so perfect.” He met her eyes, his own filled with tears. “I’m so damn sorry I wasn’t here when they were born. Are you all right now? No problems?”
She reddened a little. “I just get tired from the constant feedings and running after Danny. But I’m…I’m healed, and I feel good.”
He sighed, covering the babies. “I can’t wait till they wake up so I can hold them.”
“You can hold them now if you want.”
He met her eyes. “‘I’d rather they didn’t wake up just yet.” He rose, moving around the wagon and pulling her into his arms. “Thank you, Marybeth, for my son and daughter. You’re a hell of a woman. When I think of what you must have gone through—being here with three children and no husband. I don’t want you to worry about another thing. I’m here now and I’m going to be all right. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of coming for you. I was so afraid for you.”
“Oh, Josh, I can hardly believe you’re really here. I prayed and prayed. Oh, it feels so good to have your arms around me again. Surely God does mean for us to be together, just like you said. There isn’t a woman in the world who could be happier than I am at this moment.”
“And no man happier than I am.”
She looked up at him, and their lips met for the first time. He kissed her gently, hesitantly at first, as though unsure how she would react after being so long apart. But it took only that first kiss to reawaken all the passion and need they both had hungered for for so long. Desperate happiness and aching memories enveloped them as his kiss drew deeper and he felt his needs awakening, telling him he could still be a husband to her. She reached up around his neck, and he moved his hands along her ribs, moving his thumbs over the sides of her full breasts.
He left her lips, holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe. “God, Marybeth, maybe it’s too sudden for you—”
“No,” she whispered. “I need to know as much as you do.”
“Are you sure? Are you healed enough?”
“I’m sure.”
“I don’t even know if I can do this,” he said, his voice gruff with desire, his hands tangling in her hair.
“I have no doubt that you can,” she answered, her voice quivering with excitement and desire. Josh! He was really here, holding her, kissing her, loving her, protecting her. He pulled away, kissing her eyes. “I’ll bolt the door,” he said. “We have a lot to talk about, Marybeth, but I won’t even be able to think straight until I can be a husband to you again. It’s all I’ve thought about for weeks.” He ran a hand over her hair and walked over to lock the door. Their eyes held as he walked back to her and he put an arm around her, leading her into the bedroom. He pulled the wagon along behind them into the bedroom, then closed the door.
Marybeth sat down on the bed, feeling suddenly shy, worried her body had changed and he wouldn’t like what he saw. He sat down beside her, putting an arm around her. “I’ve got a nasty scar you might not want to look at.”
“Do you really think I would care about a scar?” She met his warm, brown eyes. “I still have a soft belly from the babies.”
He grinned. “I don’t think either one of us cares how the other one looks, do we?”
She smiled tearfully. “I…feel a little strange, almost like our wedding night—nervous.”
He kissed her lightly. “I feel the same way this time.” Their eyes held, and he met her lips and laid her back on the bed. It was all either of them needed. Suddenly they could not get enough of each other. He pulled her dress open and moved his lips to her breasts, gently kissing them. She reached up and unbuttoned his shirt when he sat up to pull her dress farther down. He sat still while she opened it and studied the scars—one from the original wound and he other from when Cap had cut into him to relieve the infection.
She leaned up and kissed them. “My poor Josh,” she whispered. “I pray I never have to see you suffer that way again.”
; He touched her hair, taking the combs from the sides and letting it fall over her soft shoulders and full breasts. “I can’t believe I’m here with you, looking at you this way, touching you,” he told her.
He laid her back again, and their need was too great for preliminaries. He took time only to pull off his boots and pants, leaving on his half-buttoned shirt. He pushed up her dress and she moved to help him pull off her shoes and stockings and bloomers. He moved on top of her then, and in the next moment he was pressing himself against her thigh. “God, Marybeth,” he groaned. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
He moved inside her, and he was anything but a disappointment. His hands slid under her bare hips and he pushed deep and hard, groaning her name, moving eagerly and rhythmically as he realized he could still be a man and had the strength and energy for this. She took him in raptured glory, in the happiest moment she had ever experienced.
It was all too wonderful, too intense. Quickly his life spilled into her. They both lay there spent and weak. Finally he raised up and took off his clothes, then helped her with her dress. They said nothing as he pulled back the covers and they crawled under them together, pressing damp, naked bodies together.
“I just want to hold you for a while,” he told her. It was only minutes before she was again swimming in his kisses, overwhelmed by his tender touch. She opened herself to him, and when he moved inside her for a second time, they both cried with the realization that this was real. He was alive and still a man, here to love and protect her. Protect her. She thought about John again, then quickly shoved the thought away. Not now. Not in this most beautiful moment of her entire life. She would not let John MacKinder rob her of this moment. Tomorrow was soon enough to mention his name.
Chapter Thirty-One
Marybeth stirred awake, vaguely remembering getting up during the night to feed the babies while her husband slept an exhausted sleep. The ride to get to her and their intense lovemaking into the night had been hard on his still-recovering body. Was it all real? She opened her eyes to see him still lying beside her, and when she met his eyes, he was watching her.
“It is real,” she whispered.
He reached out and touched her hair, looking her over lovingly. “It’s just as hard for me to believe as it is for you.” He kissed her eyes and turned on his back to stretch. Her heart ached at how thin he was, at the puckered scars on his side and back. “I could eat one hell of a breakfast,” he said.
She smiled, moving a hand over his ribs. “You need one. You’ve got to get more meat back on these bones.”
“Don’t worry. Now that I’m settled in one place and will be eating your cooking, I’ll put it back on fast enough.” He reached out for her and she settled into his shoulder. “I’m thinking of living right here until next spring, Marybeth. I don’t think I’m ready to go out chopping down trees and building fences and rustling up wild horses. I don’t want to do anything to risk the health I’ve managed to get back. I’m thinking if I could get a job around here that isn’t too strenuous, after another year I’d be strong as ever, and the children would be bigger and stronger too. With them so tiny, and you so worn out from feeding them all the time—I don’t know, I just hate to expose any of you to living out of a wagon again while we’re building a house. I could go with Sam and Aaron and see the property, stake out the boundaries and such, but one more year won’t make a hell of a lot of difference. What do you think?”
“I think it’s a very good idea. I don’t care where we live, Josh, as long as I am with you.”
“Well, Aaron and Delores will be moving out of here soon. As long as the cabin is here, we might as well use it. I’ll make things right with Aaron. I still have some money left, but maybe I can save a little more working here in Portland for the winter.”
She raised up on one elbow and leaned down to kiss his chest. “I just want you to get as well and strong as the Josh I married. I don’t ever want anything bad to happen to you again. From now on—”
A strange look came into his eyes as he studied her face. The morning sun, filtering through a crack in the shutters, hit her right cheek brightly. He frowned, touching her cheek. “What is this?”
Her smile faded, and she felt her chest tighten. How she had dreaded telling him, wished it could be avoided! He would be so angry. He might do something foolish, something that would put him in danger all over again. Yet she knew for his own safety she would have to tell him. How she hated John MacKinder for always spoiling her happiness!
“Looks like a bruise,” he was saying. “I didn’t even notice it yesterday. You fall or something?”
She closed her eyes and laid her head down on his chest. “No.” She swallowed. “Josh…” She sat up then, scooting against the head of the bed and pulling a blanket over herself. “John MacKinder isn’t dead. He’s—living someplace up in the hills, around Portland.”
He slowly sat up, turning and moving up beside her. “He did that to you?”
Already she could feel the terrible anger. She met his eyes, which a moment before were soft and loving, now blazed with hatred. “When! What happened, Marybeth!”
She closed her eyes, and the tears came. “Oh, Josh, I don’t want you to get hurt again. You can’t get into a fight with him—not now! He would kill you!”
He placed his hands gently at either side of her face. “You let me worry about that. First tell me what happened, Marybeth!”
She jerked in a sob and told him about John’s invasion and threats. “When I said I wasn’t going with him…he hit me and—tore open my dress.”
“Jesus,” he swore, turning and clenching his fists.
“I let him think I would…go with him. I came in here, and I got the rifle and pointed it at him, and told him to get out. He…wouldn’t leave, Josh. He didn’t think…I’d use it. He started toward me—and I shot him.”
He turned back to her, his eyes full of shock and pity. “Shot him!”
She sniffed. “I hit his arm. I guess he was so surprised he ran off. That was—about nine days ago. He hasn’t been back. The sheriff had a couple of men watch the house after that—till Aaron and Sam got back. Oh, Josh, I was so afraid he’d come while Aaron was here…and Aaron would get hurt or killed. And now I’m afraid for you. He’s crazy, Josh. He’s worse than ever. He wanted me to leave my babies. And he…Josh, he as much as admitted he killed Dan—his own brother! Dan fell into a vat of molten steel. I think John pushed him.”
Josh’s eyes widened in disbelief. “His own brother?”
She leaned forward and hugged him. “Oh, Josh, I think he’s the one who shot you. I’m so sorry. I should have just stayed with him. It would have saved you so much suffering.”
He moved his arms around her, pulling her close and kissing her hair. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way. And I already figured out myself it must have been John who did this. I had a lot of time to think when I was laid up, Marybeth. The way that Indian raid went, it didn’t make sense me being the only one shot with a repeater; being shot in the back made even more sense. John MacKinder would be low enough to do that.” He petted her hair. “My biggest fear while I was laid up was that he’d show up here and give you trouble. Don’t cry, Marybeth. You just worry about taking care of my babies. I’ll take care of John MacKinder.”
“But how? Josh, you don’t dare get in another fight with him. That’s just what he would want. A few blows to your wounds, and he’d kill you.”
He gently pushed her away. “You forget that he doesn’t even know I’m here. What did you tell him about me?”
She wiped her eyes. “Just that I didn’t know if you were dead or alive. I told him Cap had gone to see.”
Josh got up and pulled on his longjohns. “What did he say after you shot him?”
“He said I’d pay. He said it was my fault his parents were dead.” She met his eyes. “Did Cap tell you about Ella and Mac?”
Josh nodded. “That’s when I got really alarmed. I knew
if John was alive and found out he’d blame you—both of us.” He buttoned his underwear and walked to the window, opening the shutters to the sunshine and looking out. “That means he’ll be back. He’s probably just nursing that arm.” He looked at her with hard eyes. “You get washed and dressed. And I’d sure like it if you could rustle up some breakfast.” He put a hand to his flat belly. “You wore me out last night, woman.”
“Josh, what are you going to do?”
He reached for his shirt. “I’m not sure yet. First I’m going to get Cap over here and see what he thinks. One thing is sure. When a man deliberately does to another man what John MacKinder did to me, he’s got to pay.” He buttoned his shirt rapidly, anger in every movement. “I won’t forget the hell I went through as long as I live. And any man who would kill his own brother doesn’t deserve to still be walking around. Dan MacKinder might not have been any better than John, but a brother is a brother.” He met her eyes. “He must have wanted you awful bad—bad enough that he’s bound to come back and try again, especially after getting shot. I can imagine what he thinks of a woman chasing him out with a gun. He won’t get over that one for a while. He figures you need to be taught a lesson.” He pulled on his pants. “And when he comes for you, he’s going to get a lesson of his own.”
“Josh, I’d die if anything happened to you now.”
He saw the terror in her eyes as he buttoned his pants. He put on a leather vest. “Nothing is going to happen to me. You don’t think God pulled me through all that for nothing, do you? Hell, he wanted me to live so I could get my revenge.”
He went to the wash basin and poured water into it, splashing his face and drying it.
“God doesn’t think in terms of revenge,” Marybeth told him.
The Bride Series (Omnibus Edition) Page 113
