by Tina Martin
“Actually, I would love that,” he said, confirming that it was indeed okay for Roman to refer to me as his mommy.
What did he do that for? I was livid, but Roman was happy that his dad had agreed to it.
“I wuv you, Mommy,” Roman said, then laid his head on his pillow like he was relaxed, at peace, and glad he finally had someone to call mom.
It made me feel good, but I wasn’t happy that Sean single-handedly made this spur-of-the-moment decision.
“I love you, too, sweetie. Now try and get some sleep.”
Sean and I left Roman’s room together, and after I shut his bedroom door, I confronted Sean right outside my bedroom.
“Why did you tell him that?”
“That it was okay for him to call you mom?”
“Yes. How is that okay, Sean? I’m not his mother.”
“You’re the only mother he knows,” Sean said calmly. “Who else does he have?”
“He has you. I don’t want him calling me his mother. Then when it’s time for me to leave, he’s going to be heartbroken. Have you thought about that?”
I shook my head, and after walking into my bedroom, Sean came up behind me with his flaring temper.
“So what you’re not going to be here forever. My son loves you. You’re the mother that he always needed. Do you see anyone else around?”
Maybe Sean was referring to Shanelle. I don’t know. In answer to his question, there wasn’t anyone else around, but how was that my fault?
“No, I don’t see anyone else, but what does that have to do with me?”
Growing furious, he walked out of my room, slamming the door so hard that he broke the knob. Then he went outside to get some air and cool off, I guess.
I don’t know how it is that I could get underneath his skin so much. It’s not like we had some undeniable emotional connection. At the school was the first time I’d ever laid eyes on the man that men envied and women lusted for. However, for some reason, our working relationship had morphed into somewhat of a twisted mess. Still, I’m here to do a job and I intend on doing just that.
Chapter 9 - Playtime
I woke up the next day to a bright Saturday morning. Roman was in the family room watching SpongeBob and Sean was in the kitchen with his brothers. I walked into the kitchen wearing my hot pink pajama set.
“Good morning, guys.”
“Mornin’, Monica,” Warren said.
“Wassup, shawty,” Derrick responded.
Sean didn’t say anything. Hope he didn’t think I cared.
“Should I cook breakfast?” I asked just to tick Sean off. I knew he was still upset from last night.
“No, you don’t have to cook,” Sean said. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that.”
“I don’t know, man. Them eggs she cooked the other day were banging!” Warren responded, trying to lighten the mood and giving me props at the same time.
“Well, thank you, Warren. At least someone appreciates me around here.”
Sean looked at me evil-eyed. However, Warren must have gotten him curious about my cooking skills, because he gave me the okay to cook.
I cooked some eggs, bacon, and grits, and Sean couldn’t help but tear the eggs up. They were probably the best tasting eggs he’d ever eaten. Meanwhile, I had a slice of peanut butter toast and a glass of orange juice.
“Sean, I wanted to take Roman to the carnival today. Is that okay with you?” I bit into my toast, while looking into Sean’s eyes for his approval.
“That’s cool,” he said. “You mind if I tag along?”
I almost choked to death. Am I hearing things? Did he just ask if he could tag along? I was coughing so bad that I left the kitchen. When I was finally able to clear my airway, I came back in. Sean had never wanted to go anywhere else with us, but all of a sudden, he wanted to come with us to the carnival.
“That would be great,” I said, managing to hold a smile on my face, when on the inside I was thinking, why do I continue to torture myself?
WHEN WE ARRIVED at the carnival, Roman immediately wanted to get on the oversized, air-filled slide first.
He pulled me by the hand. “Mommy, wet’s go.”
“Okay, sweetie. Calm down a lil’ bit. We’re going to get there. Mommy has to buy some tickets first.”
I briefly reflected on my Freudian slip, the fact that I’d just referred to myself as mommy. It was a good feeling actually, to be somebody’s mommy, and I always loved children.
“Monica, why are you getting three bands,” Sean asked, as I walked up to the ticket booth and ordered three wristbands.
“So we can all ride together. Duh!” I handed the clerk thirty-six dollars.
“I’m not riding anything,” Sean asserted. He was thirty-two years old, and though he would normally take Roman to carnivals, he never participated. He just went for his son.
“Yes, you are, Sean. Loosen up a lil’ bit, okay? You’re the one who wanted to come. Now you can at least have fun with us.”
After we walked over to the slide, I stood in line with Roman, while Sean stood off to the side. He didn’t get on the slide with us, but that’s cool. I didn’t expect that he would participate much, even after the two-minute pep talk I gave him.
When Roman and I were down the slide and safely back on solid ground, Roman asked, “Mommy, can we ride the Ferris wheel now?”
“Sure we can, sweetie. We can all fit in one of those buckets,” I replied, looking at Sean.
It was obvious that he was out of his element, and for a brother that had something slick to say every time I opened my mouth, he sure was quiet. Too quiet.
“Sean, are you going to ride with us, or did you just come out here to look cute?” I looked at him, but couldn’t read his facial expression nor see his eyes because of the dark shades he wore.
“Sean? Did you hear me?” He just stood there like a statue, and that’s when I slowly slid the shades off of his face. Then he smiled, showing off those glistening white teeth. His eyes were strong like lightening, and while he stood staring at me, I felt like he could see right through me.
“Of course, I heard you.”
“Okay, so are you going to ride this time?”
“Yeah, I’ll ride this time.”
“Yessss!” Roman shouted, thrilled that his dad was going to get on the Ferris wheel with him.
While in line, I turned around to look at Sean, who was standing behind me. “You know, I’m still trying to get used to him calling me mommy,” I whispered to him.
“Yeah, I know,” Sean simply replied.
He seemed distant, like he wasn’t used to having fun. He was more accustomed to playing the corporate head guy in charge, hiring and firing, closing deals…that type of thing.
The line finally inched up enough for us to get on the Ferris wheel. Roman and I sat on one side and Sean sat opposite of us. Before the ride started moving, I took out my digital camera and took a picture of the three of us together, after asking Sean to lean over by us. Then I handed the camera to Sean so he could take a picture of me and Roman. He did, admiring the way our faces were pressed together.
After the ride started, Sean sat there flipping through my camera, looking at the pictures we had just taken. “That’s a beautiful picture,” he commented on the one photo the three of us were in. “We look like one happy family, huh?”
“What do you mean?” I asked him.
“I mean, it looks like we are a family in this photo.”
“What are you talking about, Dad?” Roman said. “We are a family now that I have a mommy.”
Kids…you never know what will come out of their mouths. The crazy part was, Sean sat there and agreed with him, while all I did was smile.
After all the fun and games, we arrived home about nine o’clock that night. I put Roman to bed, took a shower, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Sean was sitting at the kitchen table.
“Hey, Sean,” I said, while taking a
glass out of the cabinet.
“Hey. I really do appreciate what you’re doing with Roman. This morning you alluded to me not appreciating you, and I just want to let you know that I do appreciate you. I’m thankful for everything you’ve done for us.”
“Thanks, Sean, but I’m just doing my job,” I said casually, as I filled my glass with tap water.
“Monica, there’s some Fiji water in the fridge,” Sean pointed out. He never drank tap water. He lived on Fiji.
“Tap water is fine. I’m not one of those health nuts who think all water is bad and filled with impurities – and if it is, we have to die of something, right?” I replied, then took a sip.
“Oh, now isn’t that a positive outlook on life,” Sean said sarcastically. I couldn’t help but laugh. “But getting back to Roman, you’re doing more than your job.”
“Well, I do what I can. I mean, that’s what you pay me for, right?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“What do you mean ‘you guess so’? That’s not what you pay me for?”
“Well, yeah. I just didn’t know he would be so taken by you. He calls you mommy and looks up to you. He automatically looks to you for direction.”
“Well, that’s just probably because I was his teacher.”
“And he calls you his mother…”
“As I recall, that’s your fault. I didn’t want him to call me mommy because I didn’t want him to get too attached to me. What’s going to happen when I leave?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even want to think about that right now.”
I finished my glass of water. “Well, I’m going to bed. Have a good night.” I headed for the stairs.
“Goodnight. Oh, and by the way, I really did have a good time today,” Sean said.
“Good. You need to let your hair down once in a while.”
I smiled and so did he. Then I went upstairs to prepare for bed.
Chapter 10 – Misunderstood
Sean went to work the next day. He usually didn’t work on Sundays, but he said he needed to tie up some loose ends. He had a big meeting with one of his clients on Monday and wanted to be well prepared. I sat in the kitchen while he ate his Nutri-Grain bar and drank a glass of bitter grapefruit juice. On his way out, he asked me if his necktie was straight and if he had any crumbs around his mouth. Isn’t this something? I felt like wifey as I straightened his Ralph Lauren Purple Label solid black tie. There weren’t any crumbs around his mouth – just a pair of sexy lips and a matching mustache.
He stayed at the gig for the better part of the day, while I was at home bored out of my mind. I knew Roman was just as bored as I was, so I decided to take him to Fun World. I called Sean a couple of times, and since he didn’t answer, I left a message for him:
Sean, it’s about seven o’clock and I’m taking Roman to Fun World for a little while. So, if you’re looking for us, that’s where we’ll be. Try not to work too hard. Later.
Roman and I had a good time at Fun World, which was filled with screaming children who were running around frantically looking for the next game where they could score a lot of tickets. Together, we earned about 583 tickets, which Roman turned in for prizes – two sour powers, three airheads, five dum dums, three packs of bottle caps, ten packs of sixlets, twenty tootsie rolls, six individually wrapped twizzlers, and a multi-colored neon slinky. All that candy – I’m sure that’s going to make Sean happy. Yeah, right.
We had only spent about an hour there, and after Roman’s candy was bagged, we left. On the way home, Sean called my cell.
“Hey, Sean.”
“Where are you?” he yelled in my ear.
“I’m in Brookfield. I took Roman to Fun World. Why are you yelling at me?”
“I told you to never leave this house without letting me know first!”
“I left a message on your cell phone, Sean!”
“Which phone?”
“Your personal number.”
“Ah’ight. Well, just get here.”
The nerve of this guy. Don’t know how it is that he figures he can get angry with me because he didn’t check all of his cell phones, and then he just hang without even apologizing.
When we got home, Roman went running up to his father, showing him all the candy he had. Sean was sitting on the couch like he was waiting for us to get there. Warren was sitting in a recliner opposite of Sean.
I was disappointed and rightly so. Just when I thought Sean and I were making strides towards getting along, he springs this on me. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the brother had bipolar disorder or something. Whatever he had, I wasn’t in the mood for it tonight.
“Hi, Warren,” I said, ignoring Sean completely.
“What’s up, Monica? You look tired,” he replied back.
“Yeah, I am tired. I’m heading to bed.”
I was so drained that I didn’t even have the energy to engage in a decent conversation with Warren. All I wanted was my bed. I jumped on it, hugged my pillow, and then heard banging on my door.
“Who is it?” I yelled, knowing it was Sean.
“Who do you think it is?” he yelled back.
I got up and opened the door. “What do you want?”
“I actually came up here to apologize to you, but why are you locking the doors around here. I said from the beginning, no locked doors. Please, do not lock this door again.”
I was trying to get him out of my face as fast as I could. So, I didn’t even argue over his weird demand. Usually, I thought only people who were once imprisoned had issues with that sort of thing. And from everything I know about Sean, he’s never been to prison.
“Okay, I won’t lock the door. Is that all you wanted?”
“No. Like I just said, I told you that I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry. I was wrong and you were right. I heard the message you left me.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
I walked over to my dresser to find some clothes to wear to bed, leaving Sean standing at the door. It’s not like I could lock it anyway, so there would’ve been no point in me slamming it in his face…although I wanted to. I’m sick of this clown. Ugh! I was ready to take a hot bath, snuggle in my bed like a cat, and read my Essence magazine. So much for that.
“Wait a minute – I’m apologizing to you and all you can say is yeah, whatever?”
“Exactly, because you don’t mean it. You’ll be yelling at me again tomorrow for something else stupid. It never ends with you! First of all, who do you think I am – a kidnapper? I’ve never done anything to hurt Roman. Yet, you treat me like I am incapable of taking care of him, and I’m sick of it! If you don’t want me to be here, then tell me and I will gladly leave! But don’t treat me like a child and don’t treat me like I’m a threat to your son, because I love Roman just as much as you do!”
I got a little choked up and had to dab my eyes to keep from crying. Sean was really starting to get to me. I wanted to quit, walk out, and just leave him standing there to argue by himself.
“I said I was sorry. Ah’ight? I’m sorry,” he said, before closing the door on his way out.
After coming downstairs, I found Warren peeping out of the window looking at his brother, who was sitting outside in his car trying to calm himself down, I suppose. He knew he had a bad temper, and so did I, especially since I was on the receiving end of most of his attacks.
“Hey, Monica…you ah’ight?”
“Yeah, I’m cool.”
“Look, I know my brother is a little rough around the edges, but trust me, he means well. He just has crazy ways of showing his emotions.”
“What’s wrong with him? You and Derrick don’t act like that.”
“Yeah, but we haven’t been through the same things he has. It’s like when his wife left…no, I take that back. Even before he married her, he changed somehow and I can’t quite put my finger on it. He was never happy with Shanelle. Quite honestly, I don’t even know why he married her. He never really seemed to love her.
When they were together, I never seen him kiss her or hug her for that matter. But anyway, what I’m trying to say is, I don’t really know what’s going through his mind, but I do know that no matter what, Sean is my brother and I love him. If you get to know him like I know him, maybe one day, you’ll love him, too. But since you’re only going to be with us for a short while, just don’t give up on him and Roman. Even though Sean probably wouldn’t admit it, he needs you right now.”
I respected that. I could always dig what Warren had to say. He was the man that I wished Sean would be. And to think that they looked identical.
“Okay. I’ll do my best, Warren.”
“Hey, that’s all you can do.”
“What is he doing out there anyway?”
“He’s sitting outside in his truck.”
“Maybe I should go and talk to him…”
“Are you sure about that? He looked pretty upset when he came downstairs. He didn’t even say anything to me…just kept on walking like I wasn’t even sitting here.” Warren chuckled to himself.
“Well, I’ll go see what’s up.”
I opened the front door and walked towards Sean’s Escalade, where he was sitting with the radio cranked up, playing some reggae music. When he saw me approaching, he turned it off and stepped out of the car.
“I’m sorry,” I said, while approaching him.
“I’m the one that should be apologizing to you. I know you love Roman, and I trust you. The only reason I was upset is because I didn’t know where you guys were, and that’s not to say I don’t trust your judgment. I just want to know where you are at all times in case of an emergency.”
“That’s all?”
“Yep, that’s all.”
He should’ve just come out and said that the first time. We could have avoided all of this.
“Okay. So are we good?” Sean asked me.
“Yeah, we straight.”
He opened his arms, inviting me for a hug. How could I resist? I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his lengthy body. I intentionally squeezed him hard and tight, closed my eyes, and took in deep breaths of his compelling cologne or soap or body wash or shampoo, whatever it was. It smelled like a mixture of cocoa butter, aloe, aftershave, and Lever 2000. When I released him, I had a huge smile on my face.
