“Don’t waste your time,” I say, resting my hand on his chest. “Eric, thanks for everything. I had a good time tonight.”
I stand on my tip-toes and he leans down to hug me. I hold him tight and give him a quick kiss on the cheek. He hugs me tighter, before letting go with a sigh.
“Bye.”
“See ya,” he mutters, as he gets back in the truck.
Lydia waits till I get in the house before they pull away.
I’m barely through the front door when my mom appears.
“So how was your first dance?” she asks, with a smile. I can tell she has been waiting for details. This is the kind of thing my mom lives for. She thinks high school dances are like Cinderella’s ball. No princes or glass slippers here. Shit, with my luck, I’m surprised I didn’t turn into a pumpkin at midnight.
“It was fun. We danced.” I shrug.
“I didn’t expect you this early, I thought you’d take advantage and stay out late.”
“Denny’s was packed so we just decided to go home.” She gives me a weird look. I really need to change the subject. “I didn’t expect you to be back from the concert this early either. What happened? Danny didn’t meet you after the concert for a midnight rendezvous? How was it anyway?”
“They were awesome. What can I say? They still got it, the Right Stuff.” She’s glowing. I thought she was making a joke, but with the way she’s acting, I think she’s serious.
“Alrighty then.” My mom has gone mad, I think to myself. “I’m gonna go take all this crap off. All these pins are driving me nuts.” I scratch my head.
“I can help,” Mom calls as I walk down the hallway. I’m trying to act normal but she can probably sense something is wrong. Moms have a knack for that kind of stuff.
“Let me get this dress off first,” I yell back, as I turn the corner to my room.
I begin with tossing off my dress and getting into my favorite pair of sweats and a hoodie. It isn’t all that chilly out but I need the comfort. I walk back to the living room so my mom can begin the process of taking my hair down. It’s such a chore to take out all these bobby pins, some coming out easy, some hiding and getting tangled in my hair. Just when I think we’re finished, one more reveals itself causing my mom to begin her search again.
As I walk into my room, my phone is buzzing and about to fall off my desk.
I pick it up and hit View Now. It’s a text from Alex.
R U AWAKE??
I quickly text back.
YUP.
…Buzz…
Can I cll u?
I text him yes and wait for my phone to ring.
I pick up the phone as soon as it starts to vibrate, anxious to hear his voice.
“Hi,” I say.
“How ya doin’?”
“I’m good. How was dinner, or breakfast, or whatever you call it?”
“Oh, we didn’t go after all. It was getting late and I wasn’t feelin’ it anymore. I wasn’t in the mood to sit around and talk.”
“So why you calling then?” I’m so glad he did. “If you’re not in the mood to talk.”
“Well, I don’t mind talking to you.”
“Well good, ‘cause you’re the only one I want to talk to right now anyway.” I start to tear up, hoping he can’t hear the frog in my throat.
“Hey, Meg, don’t let Ben get you down, okay.” His concerned tone warms me.
“You know, it’s stupid. I have this nice guy who actually likes me and wants to spend time with me and I’m getting all worked up over a guy who was just playing with my head.” I pause, the wheels turning in my mind. “But then again, what did Ben really do? He wasn’t my boyfriend. He never really told me he liked me, just some stupid thing about options. And then lunch. Did you know we went to lunch?” I’m almost afraid of what he’s going to say.
“Yeah, Amy told me. I wish you had told me though.”
“It wasn’t anything big. It was after we talked that night about you kicking his ass, if we went out. Well, it was great until Vanessa showed up. How stupid am I?”
“So you want me to whoop his ass now or what?” Alex chuckles.
“No, you nerd. Can you believe I didn’t realize why he left in such a hurry until the rally?
“No one knew. I didn’t even know. He probably kept it from me on purpose.”
“Well I thought I was okay. But then tonight happened. He was staring at me when I was dancing with Eric. And then him touching my hand at Denny’s. What’s the deal, Alex? What the heck is Ben thinking? Is this some stupid game he plays with stupid freshmen girls, or what?”
He doesn’t respond right away. Maybe he is waiting to see if I’m really finished.
“Megan, you’re not some stupid little freshman, relax. It’s Ben who’s stupid.”
“Thanks. But…but…why is he acting this way?”
“He really liked you. I think he got scared when you started talking to Eric. He’s a jealous kind of guy and I think he just took himself out of the game. Maybe he was scared you wouldn’t pick him over the freshman. He’d feel like an ass if you did.”
I think about it for a minute. “Did he actually say this or are you just guessing?”
“Ben doesn’t have to say anything to me. I know him too well.”
“What about the thing at Denny’s?” I need more of his insight.
“It was pretty whack what he did, right in front of Vanessa and Eric. And to you. I don’t know what he was thinking.” He clears his throat. “Maybe he saw how beautiful you looked tonight and couldn’t resist. He could’ve done worse.”
Did Alex just say I looked beautiful? OMG. He is beautiful. How do I respond?
“Alex…you think I’m…beaut…beautiful,” I stutter.
“Uh…yeah.”
“Oh my gosh, you’re crazy.”
“Meg, you are. Seriously. And the fact you don’t realize it only makes you cuter.”
“Cute. I can handle cute.” I can’t help throwing in a joke. “Well, whatever it was, Ben’s an idiot.”
“That he is. So, what are you gonna do now? Who do you really wanna be with?”
You. I want to say, but I know I can’t. I always put my feelings for Alex aside, in a separate place in my heart. They are in there fighting to come out, tearing through my mind and wanting to spill out into words, into actions. But, it can’t happen, not now. Not while he is with one of my best friends.
“I don’t know,” is all I can manage to mutter.
“You know, you don’t have to hook up with anyone. You don’t have to have a boyfriend.” Easy for him to say when he has a girlfriend.
“Yeah, I know,” I say. “Alex, can I ask you something?”
“Go for it.”
“Besides Amy being gorgeous and having a smokin’ hot body, why are you with her? She’s definitely not as…nice, as you are.”
“I have to admit, I’m like every other guy…I was attracted to her body, but she’s not as bad as you and your friends make her out to be. When we’re alone, she’s pretty cool to be around. She’s not as secure as you think. She acts normal, fun, just chill…you know.” He tries to explain to me, but I don’t get it. But maybe I don’t want to. It’s easier to be angry with her without acknowledging she is a great person.
Amy really used to be a terrific person, but once she started sprouting long, lean legs, and C-cup breasts, she changed. She began shopping for brand name labels only and showing off like crazy. We all felt like she looked down on us for not shopping at the expensive stores or getting professional weaves whenever we wanted. Even if my parents could afford all that, it’s just not my style.
“Meg, hello?” he says, loudly.
My mind must have wandered. “No, I don’t know. So that’s it then? Just chill, huh. Do you love her?” I ask, wishing I didn’t. Do I really want to know the answer to that question?
“I like her, a lot.”
“Hmm.”
“So, do you feel better now?�
��
“Yeah…yeah, I do. Is that why you called? To make me feel better.”
“I thought I’d try.”
“Well, it worked. I’m good,” I say, with a smile.
For a moment, we listen to each other in silence. I feel like I need to say something or like he wants to say something, but we both just…exist, together.
Eventually, Alex breaks the silence. “Well, it’s getting late, so I better go. I could probably fall asleep on the phone listening to the rhythm of your breathing. It’s kinda relaxing, like those kid songs that put babies to sleep. Umm, what are they called?”
“Lullabies?”
“Yeah, you can put me to sleep with your lullaby.”
I smile. “You don’t want to do that, you’d wake up with a kink in your neck.”
“You’re weird, Meg.” He chuckles.
“I try.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Ha ha. Gee thanks, Alex.” I giggle.
“Okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“What, I thought you wanted me to put you to sleep with the musical melodies of my snoring,” I say, kiddingly.
“I said the rhythm of your breathing, I didn’t say anything about snoring.” He chuckles more.
“Well, you’re missing out. I was going to work myself up into a full blown concert.”
“Maybe next time.” His silly laugh kills me. “Good night, Meg.”
“Sleep tight, Alex.”
“Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
“Okay, Merry Christmas.”
“Wait. Merry Christmas? What the?” Alex responds, obviously confused.
“I couldn’t think of anything else.” I laugh quietly, trying not to wake my parents.
“You’re nuts.” He laughs.
“I know.” I have tears in my eyes.
“Happy New Year.”
“What?”
“It’s all I could come up with.” He laughs more.
I bust up. “Okay. Seriously. Good night. We could keep going forever.”
“Okay.” His groan makes me crack up.
“Good Night, Alex.” If only he could see my giddy grin.
“Sleep tight,” he says through laughter, again.
I try to get serious. “Byyyye, Alex.”
“Fine. Bye, Meg.”
As he hangs up the phone, I can hear him laughing faintly in the background.
I stare at my phone smiling, replaying our conversation in my head.
I roll over and go to sleep with happy thoughts about Alex, hoping those thoughts will invade my dreams. Hopefully he will make an appearance as more than just my good friend.
Chapter Sixteen
A few weeks have passed since the hideous Homecoming Dance. My friends have been walking on eggshells around me like I’m on a freakin’ suicide watch or something. I swear. I’m fine. As if I’m going to let some jackass I’ve only known for like three or four months get me down. And I didn’t even really know Ben…not like I thought I did. Alex tried to warn me. Eric tried to warn me. But did I listen? Noooo, of course not. That, my friend, would’ve been too easy.
Besides the near throw down between Eric and Ben at Denny’s, the only other thing people are talking about is Brittany what’s-her-name won Homecoming. It didn’t even phase me the night of the football game. All I was still thinking about was the great unveiling at the rally. Now that I’ve had time to think about it, I can’t believe the chick really won. Seriously, how did they even know it was her with that black curtain of hair covering half her face? She’s like a dang Cyclops. You can only see one of her eyes. She reminds me of Violet from The Incredibles, only in skinny jeans and black nail polish. Apparently, this is all the rage at my school and I didn’t even know it.
Cyclops and cartoon characters. This is what I’m thinking about. I’m such a loser. Tonight I’m just chillin’ at home, trying to relax after my first soccer game. Both JV and varsity won today, which made for a wild ride back home in the bus. Since it was an away game, we didn’t have much of a cheering section, but I was actually relieved. I would’ve been way too nervous to play well with a bunch of people from school watching.
Buzz…buzz.
That’s my phone. I know it’s here somewhere. I search all over my bed. I didn’t hear it start ringing since the volume on my radio is turned up. I flip up my comforter one last time and it flies off the bed. I pick it up and flip it open. It’s a text.
Congrats on the win. We won 2. Chk ur email…2 long 2 wrte in txt.
Hmmm…what could Eric have to write in an email? Why doesn’t he just call me if it’s too long to write?
I was just online, checking MySpace, so it doesn’t take long to bring up my email.
Meg,
Hey sweetheart. I know you’re probably wondering why I chose to email you instead of just calling, but I figured I wouldn’t get all nervous if I wrote it. Since we both had luck with our games today, I thought I would try my luck with you too.
So I’ve just been kicking back waiting to see what would happen between us or to see if you would end up with that punk Ben. But now it looks like Ben showed you what an ass he is, so I don’t think I have to worry about him anymore.
Anyway, I know we had a thing last year, but this time it seems different. I like you a lot. I love being around you. Everyone does…that smile of yours makes everyone smile too, even when they don’t want to. You’ve gotta know how I feel about you…it’s not like I haven’t shown you. But I need to know how you feel. Do you think of me the same way? Damn, I hope so…
Can you just tell me…will you be with me? and ONLY me? Don’t play games with me, okay or try to spare my feelings. Be honest…if I’m not the one you want, tell me now, please.
Thinking of you….
Eric
OMG. Why does he have to be so sweet? My head is so full of crap from Ben still, it’s not letting me enjoy this wonderful email from a nice guy. Remind me to go to the junior highs and tell the girls to stay away from the seniors next year. By this time, shouldn’t I have had like five boyfriends already? Isn’t that the way high school is supposed to work?
I put my face in my hands and take a few deep breaths. I can feel a pinch of pain in between my eyes. Great, I’m getting a freakin’ sinus headache. Now is not the time.
Relax.
Eric is a great guy. He’s nice. He’s funny. He buys me Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream even though I don’t need it. He likes to hang out with me and my friends during lunch. Well, his friends are trying to get at mine, but still.
Shit. If we don’t end up together, it’ll really screw up our lunch time routine, won’t it? Will Eric, Jonathan, and Josh still hang out with us if I say no to him? Everyone will hate me if I screw this up. Crap.
I click on Reply.
Hi Eric,
You have got to be the sweetest guy in the world…or at least at Carver…don’t want you to get a big head or anything. So you like me, huh? And you love to be around me? You like my smile too? Damn, I pretty lucky to have someone like you, aren’t I?
Well I’m not gonna shoot you and put you out of your misery today..no such luck. I think you’re stuck with me ‘cause I really like you too and I can’t imagine who else I would like to spend my lunchtime eating Baked Chips and drinking Naked Juice with. Plus, who else is going to help me improve my soccer game? Well, let’s not base our relationship on my ability to play soccer. We’d be doomed.
No…seriously. Of course, I want you. And ONLY you.
“You complete me.” (get it…Jerry Maguire… “you had me at hello”…haha…I’m so funny)
So boyfriend…is that what I should call you now?? I gotta go. I need to take a shower and get rid of all the grass and dirt from my crevasses.
I’ll talk you tomorrow.
Dreaming of you…
Meg
I read my email twice before I hit send. What else can I possibly say? We have a good thing goi
ng. I can’t ruin it. Not for me. Not for Eric. Not for our close group of friends. It has to be this way. I’m not completely lying. I can see the potential to feel like he’s the only one I want. There is definitely that potential. If I can just get the loser out of my mind, things will work out here. Really. Really?
My inbox makes a sound. One new message.
You had me at hello. Haha. Just kidding. You had me when you pouted like a little kid ‘cause Ms. Gelson moved you to your new seat. Remind me to thank her.
Good night.
I smile. This might work.
Chapter Seventeen
Thanksgiving break flew by leaving little time for me to hook up with my friends, or Eric. My mom is a nut when it comes to shopping so we were out at four o’clock in the morning on Black Friday—along with many other psycho people seeking a twenty dollar DVD player or “buy one get one for a penny” sales. It’s crazy, I know. But it’s actually kind of fun.
Steph was totally busy with her family during break. Relatives came in from Arizona and Texas for the week, and her mom gives both her and Lydia a long list of things to do. Mostly, they had to entertain all of their younger cousins while the adults did their thing. Steph didn’t complain though.
Amy stopped by my house to visit Thanksgiving Day. I wasn’t too surprised. Her mother doesn’t cook. They buy their holiday dinners. So Amy usually makes her rounds to visit all of us. I know she loves her, more fortunate, situation when it comes to shopping for clothes or getting the perfect salon highlights in her hair, but when it comes to holidays, I know she’s jealous. She envies the family gatherings and nurturing mothers the rest of us have. So she popped in and I let her soak in the smell of a freshly baking turkey and a real sense of family, not just money.
Keesh was actually pretty scarce throughout our break. Normally, she would’ve been the one to get us all together, at least once, but she was preoccupied. It wasn’t Jonathan either. I asked Eric about it and he said Jonathan had hardly talked to her. When I finally got a hold of her, she said she was hanging out with some of the girls on the soccer team. The varsity girls. Well excuse me.
So I'm A Double Threat Page 10
