by Cheryl Wyatt
Then to Colin’s retreating back, she breathed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
How could she so easily wound with words after being so wounded by them?
And hadn’t Colin apologized a zillion times in words, looks, and actions?
Even in her angst-ridden state, Meadow felt God’s peace breaking through, his assurance that the thorns she sliced with originated from a place of deep pain.
She thought she’d been fine with Colin’s confession that Meadow was who he’d thought about dating. But then terror set in. It seemed the closer he got, the more she fought. No more. She ran after him.
On the porch, her courage faltered. What could she say?
Pacing, he tromped back up the steps, whisking past her without a word. The air chilled. Courage regrouped, she prayed for grace and traced his steps.
He stacked food carriers at the counter and stiffened at her approach. Back still to her, he pivoted slightly. “Tell me what to do next.” His words were calm but clenched.
Even after the prickly way she’d treated him, he still put her needs over his pride. That he was still willing to help her after the way she’d thrown his past in his face like bitter pie proved he was not going to abandon his promise to help her. That spoke worlds of wealth about his integrity and character.
“You can stop pouting and look at me.” She removed her coat from her shoulders.
He turned, gaze cautious but tentatively amused.
Hands on her hips, she approached. “Colin, you said you’re a work in progress. Well, so am I. I’m under construction and I might be a mess for a while. So when you see me upset, it’s basically best if you steer clear of my mouth. Ugliness spews from it.”
His gaze dropped the few inches from her eyes to her lips. He took his time returning his gaze to her eyes, conveying that steering clear of her mouth was the absolute last thing on his mind at the moment.
He stepped toward her. She stepped back. Bumped the counter. Trapped.
For the first time she didn’t feel like escaping.
Then Meadow felt like the densest person alive when Colin reached and rubbed something off the corner of her mouth with a dish towel and held it up. “Nacho cheese?”
“Not sure how that got there,” she hedged.
“Hmm.” He nodded. “You never let me finish.”
“What?”
“The rest of what I need to say. You asked if I wanted to see Blythe. I said no. I answered honestly.”
“That may change when you see her.”
“Doubtful. She mailed me her modeling pictures. I shredded them with glee. I feel nothing for her, be assured of that. Yes, we dated. I made not-so-great choices about who I spent time with.”
“We’ve all done things we’re not proud of.”
“I stayed with her because I was comfortable and afraid of losing my social status.”
“With her dad being mayor, your parents probably lauded the relationship,” Meadow said, feeling the need to extend grace.
“Yeah. I fell into misguided motives. I wanted my parents’ acceptance, even at the cost of growing unhappiness with Blythe. That’s my rocky past, but I’m overcoming it. Yes, you have specific reasons not to trust me, but that was then.” He slid his hand behind her neck. “And this”—he lowered his face—“is now.”
She gasped as Colin pressed pure bliss to her lips, but soon gave in to the luxury of his kiss. As his delectable mouth descended on hers again and again in a sensual ebb and flow, pain—years of it—washed away. He was appetizer, entrée, and dessert all in the same moment, and she never wanted it to end.
He broke free of their sweet first kiss to blaze an unforgettable trail to her ear. “You said something that first day after your kitchen cave-in that has haunted me since. You said you were overlooked and easily forgettable. For the record, Meadow, I could never overlook you. And you are far, far from forgettable.”
“But—”
His mouth covered hers again with exponential purpose. Every shred of protest fled as she felt the magnificent heart of this man come through the heat of his mouth on hers.
He leaned back enough that she glimpsed his boyish grin. “You were saying?”
“I have no idea.” None. No idea in the world what she’d been about to say. She’d be hard-pressed to even remember her own name right now.
He pressed his mouth to the spot on her temple her fingers reserved for times of stress, and he prayed. Beautiful words, God’s bountiful answer and the care behind their comfort seamed the shards of her soul. She relished the nearness.
His eyes were closed, face serene. Dimples deepened. Smile huge.
Lord, I think I love this man. Love that he takes pleasure in me and my well-being.
Emerald eyes opened on a face so tender and bright, she couldn’t look away. And still . . . no recollection of her name. Sort of.
“Meadow . . .”
“That’s it.”
“What?” he murmured.
“My name.”
“Your name. Your name should not be Meadow Larson.”
“No?”
“No. It should be Meadow McGrath.”
His words slammed her into a wall of reality. He’d said Meadow McGrath.
They’d been back in one another’s lives for two weeks. No way could his feelings progress so far in so little time. Right? Seriously, no. That was crazy.
Yet didn’t her soul feel the same?
She’d made herself too vulnerable, and now her heart hovered over a vat of trouble.
Just like before.
And just like before, he could burn it.
Failing to fend off the fear and confusion, she scuttled away.
He reached, tugging her hand. “Meadow, wait.”
She shook her head. Pondered protest. But what could she say? She’d wanted that kiss as much as he had. To pretend otherwise would dishonor him and make her dishonest.
His jaw firmed. “Don’t dare let yourself regret or second-guess this.”
“What did you expect me to do, enjoy it?”
He smiled broadly. “That’s the general idea.”
“Well . . .”
His eyebrow arched. He folded bulky arms across his broad chest in a steady, daring challenge. Could she really lie and say she hadn’t enjoyed it?
“Well?” Colin pressed.
“You’re lucky you kiss way, way better than you cook.” She tugged his sleeve. “Come on. We have a reception to set up for and cater in two hours, and the venue is ten minutes of congested traffic away.”
“Heard the wedding reception was a hit,” Del said the next morning when Colin arrived at the hospital with breakfast and intent to visit. She’d tolerated solid food for two days.
“Went well considering I was there and you weren’t.”
She chuckled. “I’m sure you did fine. How’re other things coming along?”
He unfolded his breakfast biscuit packaging since Del scolded him yesterday for not eating with her. “Roof and ceiling’s fixed but trim’s on hold. Lumber yard owner’s on vacation.”
Del chewed her biscuit with ham slowly, hoping her doctor wouldn’t find out what she was eating. “I meant the other renovation.”
Hand paused midway to his mouth, Colin shrugged.
One good thing was that, while praying on his morning run, God had granted peaceful assurance that Colin wasn’t mismanaging his motives.
“How’d you know?”
“What, that you’re falling in love with her? Colin, come on. Anyone can see how much you care about her by the way you talk about her. She talks nonstop about you too.”
They were silent as they finished their biscuits, and then Colin tossed their wrappers in the trash can. “Define ‘talk,’ ” he finally said. His confidence that Meadow reciprocated his feelings was shaky.
“Good things. Mostly,” Del teased.
“I’m crazy about her. So that leads to my next question. Will you help me plan
a surprise birthday party for her?”
Del clapped. “Fantastic idea! I’m glad to help.”
“Sure you feel up to it?”
“Are you kidding me? Blowing Meadow’s mind is just what the doctor ordered.”
“You know how to reach her siblings? I guess they are staying with Flora.”
“Yes. I’ll invite them for you, if you want.”
“I appreciate the offer, but contacting them is something I need to do.” For reasons beyond a birthday party. He needed to personally apologize to each of them for his part in their sister’s pain and malformed identity.
A knock sounded, and then the doctor entered. “Ready to skedaddle?”
Del flipped her covers back. “Yes, and I have a chauffeur right here. Colin, you got time to drive me home?”
“Absolutely. I just have to pick up Meadow’s brother at the airport later today.”
“Lake? The big, muscle-bound Coast Guard captain?”
“Yep. That would be the one.”
She grimaced. “Painful.”
“Yeah.”
An urgent text came in from his dad’s secretary. A complaint with threats of litigation for a job his dad had allegedly botched. Worse, it said a very influential customer. He texted her back to ask who, then waited for the answering text while nurses provided discharge instructions to Del.
She flagged her doctor down as he passed by her room. “Don’t forget to gimme all my pieces and parts, Doc.”
The doctor handed Del a container of gray rocks. “I forgot. Your royal gems, madam.”
Colin would laugh if he could. Only Del would want her own gallstones. He was too troubled by the new text to let humor seep in. Colin grew wearier when he recognized the address on the text.
The mayor’s mansion. Blythe’s house. Did she still live there? Colin hoped not.
He really could stand to go the rest of his life without seeing her again.
After settling Del in at her home, Colin checked when he had to be at the airport against the current time. Plenty of margin. He drove to Mayor Matthews’s mansion.
He pulled in the circle drive and got out of his truck. Took the steps two at a time and had raised a fist to knock when the door swung open.
Blythe stood on the other side of the doorway. “Colin! Wondered when you’d stop by.” She launched into his arms. He caught her simply to keep from landing in the yard. He set her down so quickly she almost landed on her caboose.
He ignored her pout. “I came to talk to your father. He home?”
“No, the golf course. Can you run me to town, darling? It’s urgent and my car is in the shop.”
Colin gritted his teeth at the endearment, but she said it was an emergency. Town was on the way to the airport, so he nodded curtly to his truck. “Get in.”
“Where to?” he cut through her incessant self-centered chatter two miles later to ask.
“Oh, the mall. Next stoplight.”
His jaw clenched. “Really, Blythe? You have an emergency at the mall?”
She raised her pinky. “Yes! Broke a nail, and I’m attending an engagement party Thursday.”
Colin gripped the steering wheel tighter. “Thursday . . . evening . . . next week?”
“Yeah, my cousin’s, on my mother’s side. Father’s hosting an after party at their home. You should come so we can catch up.” He felt like the proverbial chalkboard as she raked her fingernail up his arm, and it made him no less squeamish. “Really catch up.”
He jerked his arm away and ignored both Blythe’s comeon and her famous pout. Colin’s uneasy feeling about Thursday’s catering event went from bad to worse.
What were the chances the two gigs were one in the same?
His gut churned with a sick feeling, thinking that Blythe could be there.
And so would Meadow.
And possibly some people who’d taken it upon themselves to torment her.
His friends. Former friends.
Would Meadow believe they were no longer his friends? His biggest fear with it was that she’d revert in her progress of trusting him and slam all her walls back up like an impenetrable concrete barrier between them.
Lord, protect Meadow and the special bond you’re building between us.
He may never get a chance like this again in his lifetime. He was bound and determined to use it to prove to her once and for all where his loyalties lay.
With her.
Not with his old girlfriend, nor his old friends, and certainly not with his old patterns.
“Meadow, don’t read into it.” Flora grabbed the dash. “And stop peeling out!”
Meadow’s hands trembled on the steering wheel. She saw red, and it had nothing to do with the Macy’s sign she swerved around to exit Havenbrook Mall. “She was in his truck. They seemed too comfortable. There’s no way this is the first time.”
Silence ruled the ride until they arrived at the pole barn. Flora said, “There has to be a reasonable explanation.”
Meadow let them in and set her new serving utensils by the sink to be washed. Was Colin dating Blythe? It seemed too ridiculous to ponder.
But he’d duped her before. “I’ve been such a fool to—” She bit her tongue.
Flora’s wedding was a week away. She didn’t need the stress of Meadow’s emotional breakdown. She never should’ve trusted her heart to Colin. Her emotions felt grated.
Her mind was going berserk with confusion. Why was he with Blythe when he’d told Meadow he didn’t want to see her? What had Meadow missed?
His lies?
Was this some big elaborate joke they were all playing on her, like in high school?
Trust Colin.
The thought ushered unbidden. Then again. Stronger.
Trust him. Trust me.
The fear that she may not have the courage to do that caused her soul to sink right back in that bitter lake.
“Meadow, will you be okay?” Flora whispered.
Meadow donned a mask of strength she didn’t feel and fibbed with all her heart. “Of course. I’m always okay.”
You’re going to be okay.
The seemingly failed words hit like a slap in the face. She fought tears.
Lord, I know I need to trust you, but seeing her in his truck left me feeling miles away from okay. Colin said feelings lie. Maybe eyes do too. Please show me what to believe.
Two hours later, Flora brought up the subject again. Meadow was still fuming.
“I keep going over this in my head, and I just can’t see him with her.” Flora affixed gold trim on purple banquet table draping for her food riser displays.
“You saw what I saw.” Meadow ripped a crooked thread out and had to start again.
“Ladies?”
Colin.
As he strode in, he assured them Lake had been picked up and safely deposited at Flora’s place, but neither sister spoke, moved, breathed, or blinked.
He set gorgeous cherry wood trim near his table saw and went to work.
Meadow feigned immersion in her stitchery.
That Flora didn’t leave her alone with Colin to go greet Lake before it was time for them to pick their sisters up from the airport sent ominous confirming flares through Meadow.
Or maybe it was heat radiating off the glares Flora toasted him with as he worked.
That meant Flora may be rethinking her initial good impression of Colin.
Colin never looked up, never said another word. His tense expression and guarded body language spoke of someone harboring secrets.
Meadow should’ve seen this coming. But she’d let herself trust.
Meadow didn’t have a good feeling about this. Not. At. All.
The man was definitely hiding something.
He wanted to tell her so badly. He couldn’t. Not with Flora’s wedding days away.
At least her brother, Lake, had been civil.
Colin was glad he’d opened up. If Lake and Flora trusted him, maybe Meadow could too. He co
uldn’t kick the fear that Thursday would summon bad memories and crack the foundation of friendship he’d carefully poured with Meadow.
Colin had about worked up nerve to pull Meadow aside and discuss the potential impending disaster of Thursday’s gig when Flora jumped up, displaying a text. “Let’s go. Our sisters’ flight landed early.”
They left without comment, but the look Meadow sent over her shoulder knocked breath from his chest. Shards of pain and accusation lanced out her eyes. Why? Did she get wind of who would be at that engagement party and suspect it was a setup?
She likely felt the distance he’d just put between them. It hadn’t been intentional. He was in cahoots with himself over knowing his camaraderie with Meadow was about to further upend if he wasn’t careful.
Blythe’s track record suggested she’d likely get mean and mouthy if she saw Meadow, and he hadn’t wanted to tip Blythe off that she might have the chance by asking more questions. He needed to find a way to go to that party to protect Meadow.
Problem was, his only in was Blythe’s invitation as her guest. With Del back, Meadow hadn’t asked him to assist with future caters.
Lord, you knew about this cater centuries ago, maybe even arranged it. Help Meadow through what’s sure to seem like her worst job ever. Things aren’t always as they appear. Look out for her that day and each day after. If I may also ask, please protect her fragile trust in me. Use this gig to strengthen rather than strain our relationship.
Over the next days, Colin grieved not getting to spend time with Meadow. She was curt at church on Sunday and wouldn’t answer or return his calls. Del said to give her time. Flora wasn’t speaking to him either at this point, but she was likely swamped silly with her siblings and nuptials looming.
As he worked on finishing Meadow’s kitchen the day of the engagement party, he wondered. Had he done something wrong, something other than keeping a distance between them that day he’d seen Blythe? He strained his brain. Had she gotten the guest list and seen his name next to Blythe’s? He’d explain, if he ever got ahold of Meadow.
They’d shared a beautiful kiss; one that felt like it brushed and branded their souls as well as their lips, then wham. Her walls went back up. Higher and more formidable than before.
