Glimmer

by Ashley Munoz

  Me: Do you have any idea how hard I just laughed at you? Anyway, we will bring our bodies and some chips, what time would you like us there?

  She didn't reply for about half an hour, and I was getting antsy. What time did people usually start barbeques, or was it only a dinner thing? I needed to see her before dinner. Just as I was about to round up the kids and head to the store, she finally texted back.

  Ramsey: Sorry, had to jump in the shower. Come by whenever. I will start prepping the grill soon. Make sure the kids bring some toys or something. We don’t have much here for them to do, except Netflix, and a backyard.

  I forced my eyes shut at the image she just put into my mind and shoved the phone in my pocket. This was going to be more work than I thought. I bounced around the idea that I should maybe go on a few more dates with some cute baristas just to get Ramsey out of my head. Especially before we started working together. Then again, the date last night with Sarah the barista was a total failure. The poor girl wore a tiny cocktail dress and six-inch heels to the movies and dinner. She must have confused me with some corporate jerk who ate at five-star restaurants. Reggie's was a straight three-star establishment with ripped up booths and the best fettuccine alfredo in the state. To say that she looked a little bit out of place and very much like a hooker would be putting it delicately. Not to mention, everything she did made me wonder if it was something Ramsey would do on a date. The comparing and wondering drove me crazy as I considered if Ramsey liked spicy food, or Italian food. I wondered what she would wear on a date, specifically what she would wear on our first date. When Sarah ordered beer with her dinner, I wondered whether Ramsey drank wine like a normal person, or if she was a beer girl too. The poor barista could tell that I wasn’t into her, and the night ended pathetically early.

  I yelled for the kids to load up in the car and ran down the basement steps to talk to Dad. He was reading in his oversized leather chair with his thick black-rimmed glasses perched on his nose; the man was getting old. I gently knocked on the door frame, he looked up at me, then closed his book.

  “Hey son.”

  I smiled and crossed my arms over my chest. Suddenly I was shy about extending the offer to him, I didn't want him to think I had a crush. Even though I did.

  “Hey dad, we were invited to a barbeque at Ramsey’s house with her and her mom. She wanted me to be sure to let you know that you were invited.”

  Dad smiled and looked down at the floor. “Oh, I bet she’d like me to be there, she still hasn't reamed me for lying to her about the babysitting gig,” he said with a laugh.

  “Dad, I doubt she’ll ream you. She and I ended things on good terms last night, which is why we've been invited to her house for a barbeque. Would you like to join us or not?” I said with a little bit of frustration in my voice. He was wasting my Ramsey time.

  Dad sighed and stood up, then grabbed his flannel shirt and headed towards me. “Keep your panties on, son. Do we need to bring anything?”

  I smiled at the memory of Ramsey’s earlier text. “Yeah, some chips. We’re headed to the store now.”

  Once Dad was in the car and the kids were buckled up, we headed out and made our quick stop at the supermarket. I had picked up more flowers for Ramsey, but figured if I handed them to Carla, then it wouldn't seem like they were a weird gift from her new boss. I didn’t even know if she liked flowers, and I assumed that she didn’t see the ones I had left the day before when I went to her house; that, or she threw them out.

  I threw the chips down on the floor by Dad’s legs and as I put the flowers on his lap, I caught the look on his face but tried my best to ignore it. I started the Tahoe and pulled out of the parking lot when I heard Dad clear his throat.

  “Hmm, mighty fine flowers you have here, son.”

  I knew where he was going with this and I wasn’t in the mood.

  “Yep.” It was all he was getting out of me.

  I kept my eyes on the road, thankful that our drive would only afford him possibly one, maybe two more questions before we arrived at their house.

  “And Ramsey is a mighty fine-looking woman, don’t you think?” Dad said, while looking out his window, clearly trying to be slick. He wasn’t even a little bit.

  “I hadn’t noticed, Dad. She’s my employee now, so I can’t notice those kinds of things. These flowers are for Carla, Ramsey’s mom.”

  Dad looked back over at me, and smiled. “You gave her the job?”

  I kept my eyes forward on the road. “Well, she was the most qualified for the position. So, yes.” I situated my body in my seat a little differently, his scrutiny made me uncomfortable. I glanced over at him when he didn’t say anything else. I assumed that he would have more comments up his sleeve, but he was just looking out the window, a huge grin plastered on his face. I rolled my eyes, he could think whatever he wanted. Nothing was going to happen with Ramsey. It was a crush, and now she works for me.

  I came around the corner of Cherry Loop and gently pulled up to the curb of Carla’s house. The kids jumped out, and I noticed that Sammy had grabbed his soccer ball, while Jasmine had grabbed her journal and a purple bag with a brush handle sticking out of it. I admired the coincidence that some of the kids’ favorite hobbies are things that Ramsey was naturally talented in. Dad grabbed the chips, and I brought the flowers, and we made our way towards the door.

  My palms were sweaty as I readjusted my shirt collar for the fifth time. I normally just wore regular t-shirts, to keep it simple. However, something had me reaching for a nicer navy-blue dress shirt today. I also decided to go with some tan, knee-length shorts; it was still warmer outside, so I took advantage.

  Dad knocked and we all just stood there, waiting for a few seconds until the door swung open and Ramsey stood in front of us. She had a huge grin on her face, I tried to focus on her smile, and not let my eyes wander but I failed. I couldn’t stop my greedy gaze from roaming down her body. She wore jean shorts and a simple black tank. It was all modest, but anything on her body would be measured inappropriately by me. I didn't think she was trying to seduce me, I really didn't, but if the kids and my dad weren’t present, then the evening would most definitely be switching gears based on how she currently looked.

  She had a pair of tongs in her hand and hair from her braid had fallen in her face. She was gorgeous. I smiled at her and as hard as I tried to keep it a friendly smile, I really couldn't help but give her a “I think you're sexy as hell” kind of grin that she probably got from guys at bars all the time. I couldn’t help it. She smiled back and blushed a little, then looked at my kids, and that was like a bucket of cold water in the face. No, this was not a date, and my children were standing directly in front of me, what the heck was my problem?

  Ramsey moved to the side to let us in, and we all pushed through, into her house. I made sure I was last. I handed her the flowers and selfishly waited to see the expression on her face. She locked eyes with me, her smile reaching her eyes, and I noticed just a hint of red coloring her cheeks. She was definitely affected by me, which was a good thing, but also terrible at the same time. As if pulled back to reality by the thought of why her being affected by me was a bad idea, I cleared my throat and looked down at the flowers. “These are for your mom.”

  I took a step back to create some distance and noticed a new shade of red coloring Ramsey’s face, but this time, I had a feeling it might have been from embarrassment. I was a selfish jerk. I should have just been upfront about the flowers to begin with, but I had to know if she felt at all the same way as I did.

  She put a loose strand of hair behind her ear and moved to shut the door, then turned and led the way for everyone to follow her through the house. The floor plan was fairly open, the entryway led into the living room, but the living room was also connected openly to the kitchen and right next to it was a big dining room, which had French doors that opened to the backyard.

  A cream-colored couch sat against the large window in the living room, and tw
o deep sunken red chairs framed the rest of the space out. They also had a large, flat screen television set inside on top of a thin TV stand. I looked over the walls and found several pictures of Ramsey through the years. There was a large, golden-framed school photo of Ramsey in a soccer uniform. Her hair was in a thick braid, and she was missing three of her top teeth. My eyes roamed the kitchen next, there was a large island in the middle, and near the sink sat a window, below which sat the flowers I had brought to Ramsey the day before.

  So, she had noticed them after all.

  The kids found their way to the backyard and started playing soccer. Dad found Carla, and they were already discussing some bingo fundraiser event, while Ramsey was still in the kitchen getting a vase for the flowers. I decided to plop down into one of Carla’s patio seats and watch the kids until I knew how I could help.

  A few minutes later, Ramsey emerged from the house with a tall vase full of flowers and placed them in front of me on the glass patio table while she yelled out, “Mom, look what Jimmy brought for you!”

  I saw Carla look over from where she stood next to my dad. I noticed now how frail she looked, she wore just a simple track suit and slippers on her feet, with a glittered, hat that I’d only seen a twenty-something wears. I think the word, “Slay” was printed on across the front. On her, it was more than adorable. Still, the weathered look on her face was heartbreaking.

  Carla sweetly said, “Thank you, Jimmy, they're beautiful,” before returning to her conversation with Dad.

  I chanced a quick glance at Ramsey and caught her staring at her mom like I just was. A look that I was all too familiar with passed over her face. Starting at the corners of her mouth, her lips sagged and her eyes watered. Her forehead creased and then she wiped absently under her eyes. I knew what it felt like to lose a mother, so I knew that Ramsey was barely holding it together. I had this strange urge to wrap Ramsey in my arms and tell her it would be okay. That the pain of losing her mother would gut her, but she would recover. She would take the strength her mother had and carry it within her, but I couldn’t. I barely knew Ramsey, I had to stop this desire to fix her life, and more importantly, I had to stop the ever-constant desire I had to make her a part of mine.

  In the yard, Sammy and Jasmine started fighting,

  “Stop it Jazzy! It’s no fair! You can’t always win every time, you have to let me get the ball over there sometimes!” Sammy was practically shrieking across the yard.

  “Yes, I can! Dad told me that I have to try my hardest, no matter who I am up against, and you are just a sore, baby loser!” Jasmine shouted back, crossing her arms over her chest. She seemed tough, but I knew that Sammy was getting to her by the way Jasmine was idly kicking at the grass and how red her face was turning. The idea of seeming unfair or mean, or really anything like her mother at all, scared Jasmine, so she tended to be overly cautious with people, even to a fault.

  Just as I stood up to address the kids, I heard Ramsey say from the grill, “Well, for one thing, I know that I could really use the muscles of two very strong Stenson kids with this food. And the second thing I know is, that I am dying to play some soccer with those same kids, and maybe…” She started to trail off, then turned to face me as she finished, “Maybe we can get your Dad to play and have two against two, maybe even girls against boys?”

  She jutted her hip to the side and placed her hands on them, tongs were in one hand and grease was getting everywhere. She was being so adorable, and I had some not-so-adorable urges starting to surface. I felt the need to go over to her and wipe some of that grease off that had splattered onto her collarbone, near the strap of her tank top… She’d probably try to fight back if I went over there and spread that black mess over more of that perfect skin.

  Shit, those thoughts weren't helpful.

  I'd start by grabbing the tongs from her hands, so no weapons were involved, then from her collarbone, I'd make a trail down her…

  "Jimmy, did you hear me?" Ramsey had moved closer to me, her eyes dancing between mine and her hands were out now, like she was waiting for a response.

  "Ugh, yeah, soccer, right?" I fumbled while heading away from Ramsey and towards my kids, where my focus should have been to begin with.

  "No, ugh." Ramsey smiled, holding back a laugh as she tugged on her braid. "I said, you should head inside with the kids and help them get the stuff from the fridge."

  "Right, sorry." I turned and followed the kids inside, to the kitchen.

  "Dad, you going to play with us?" Sammy asked, while rummaging through Ramsey's fridge.

  I smiled and slapped my hands together as I confirmed the challenge. “Heck yes, Sammy boy, that sounds like a fun time to me, don’t you think?”

  Sammy turned to me, ketchup in one hand, and gave me a high five with the other. “Yeah, the best. We are going to win, Dad!” he said, half-yelling, before slapping his hand against mine again. I grabbed the ketchup and quirked an eyebrow at him.

  “So, what else would you like to help with, Sammy?”

  Sammy smiled and then tapped his pointer finger against his head, like he was thinking. “I’m a big kid, Dad, but I am still kind of small and way too young to touch hot food, so I better stick with things like ketchup.” I waited a beat and then let him squirm under my serious gaze.

  "And mustard...maybe mayonnaise too?" Sammy corrected, while turning back towards the fridge.

  Jasmine came in from the hallway, drying her hands on her shorts. “I can grab some cups and drinks and bring them to the table,” she offered, heading towards the plastic cups resting on the counter.

  I grabbed the hot dog buns and the chips we had brought, and Carla came in and took some watermelon out of the fridge. She handed Dad a clear glass bowl that was filled with potato salad, and together, we all headed outside.

  I stared at the kids with watermelon juice dripping down their chins, and my dad laughing while throwing back a Pepsi, with Ramsey’s hair catching pieces of sunlight as she picked at the potatoes in the salad; it was perfect, and I didn’t want it to end. That same familiar pang of desire hit me in the chest, and I breathed a little harder to try and clear it away.

  After the epic round of two against two soccer that was clearly unfair from the beginning, because of Ramsey’s extensive skills, we had ice cream and watched as the kids raced each other in the yard. The sun was setting, and I had yet to open my laptop to talk to Ramsey about the accounting terms. I knew I had to do that at some point, so not to lead her on or make her think that my text earlier was somehow a way to weasel an invite out of her. But it was later than I’d intended, and the kids had school tomorrow.

  I looked at my exhausted dad, and asked, “Would you mind taking the kids home and getting their baths started? I am going to review a few of these accounting terms with Ramsey really quick, and then I will walk home when I'm done.”

  Dad nodded and placed his hands on his hips while he called to the kids, “Hooligan one and two, who will win the race to the car?”

  The kids bolted up and looked like they were about to start running when Dad’s voice boomed again, “Wait! I certainly hope you weren't thinking of leaving Miss. Carla’s house without saying goodbye to her or Ramsey.”

  Both kids slowed down and walked over to Carla and hugged her. She grabbed them as tight as it seemed she could, then placed a big kiss on each of their faces. Then the kids walked over to Ramsey, who was resting her hip against the kitchen counter. They both went in for a hug and she scooped each of them up individually and hugged them tightly. Sammy laughed, Jasmine squeaked, and I melted a little.

  Jasmine looked sad and whispered to Ramsey from where she stood in front of her, “Ramsey, I have, um, a dance tryout thing at the high school. It's a big thing for third graders, and I was wondering if you could help me with my hair?” Jasmine finished, while playing with her fingers and wringing them together. I had to turn away and pretend to wipe down the table; I couldn’t admit that my little nine-year-old daught
er had just split my heart open.

  I felt relieved that she had someone to ask, otherwise Jasmine would try it on her own and as usual, end up looking like she lived with two men who didn’t know the first thing about doing girls’ hair. That, or she would just choose not to go, like she had for several other dance-related events. Being the girl without a mom, grandma, or even an aunt proved to make her an outsider rather quickly. Her tomboy clothes and unkempt hair gave too much ammunition for the other girls her age.

  I didn’t see what Ramsey did, but I heard, “Jasmine, it would be my honor, and I would be so sad if you didn’t let me not only do your hair, but take you out for a full day of pampering. Dance tryouts are a big deal, and we will have you looking your absolute best.”

  I turned back around to catch Ramsey pulling Jasmine up into a hug. There was something that came to life inside me at the sight of my daughter in her arms. I quickly looked away before anymore emotions could take root, but a few already had and I was worried those would lead somewhere I wasn't ready to go.

  Dad took the kids shortly after that, while Carla had gone off to her bedroom with a big smile on her face. I was set up at the dining room table with my laptop open, and Ramsey walked over and placed a cup of coffee in front of each of us. Then she settled in, sitting across the table from me.

  I looked up and noticed her face; even after a full day of smoke, grease, and sweat, she looked gorgeous. Her cheeks had some color on them from the sun, it made her light blue eyes stand out. She looked perfect. I had to swallow the lump in my throat and turn my focus to the computer screen and the accounting terms I had typed on a spreadsheet. My focus was split, however, as I noticed that she had a soft smile playing on her lush, pink lips, I realized again that I was completely distracted by her.