by Ashley Munoz
Ramsey moved behind me, touching the leather vest that sat near the back of my closet. I watched as she ran her fingers over the patches. I didn't say anything as she explored my MC cut. I didn't want to apologize for having it; they were a part of my life at one point and technically, I was still a member of the chapter.
"I heard at the bar, that night you fired me, some guys talking about how you were in a motorcycle club. They seemed to be afraid of you," Ramsey said, while slowly turning toward me. She had an eyebrow raised, like she didn't believe the story. I laughed and leaned back against the closet wall.
"The Brass, in Chicago. I was a part of the chapter for a few years, but I left after Lisa did," I explained, dropping my eyes to the carpet, where Ramsey's purple painted toes rested.
"My mother hated that part of my life and wanted me to leave it long before I actually did, but once I became a single parent, it was like a lightbulb went off and I had to get out," I said, now moving my gaze up to meet Ramsey's. She was mirroring my stance, leaning against the wall. I wasn't sure what I expected to see when I talked about the Brass, but Ramsey's face only showed curiosity, not judgment and thankfully, not fear.
"So, they just let you leave? I thought it was kind of like a gang." Pink entered her cheeks as she asked her question. I smiled, so not to discourage her.
"It is. MC, or motorcycle club or biker gang...it's all the same thing. Blood ties me to it because my dad was in it, just like my blood ties my own kids to it. I think Davis, the leader, knew I needed to get away. Not to say he is a kind person." I looked up at the light in my walk in closet, as I considered the next thing I was going to say. "I'm still technically a part of it. He gave me a sabbatical."
My statement seemed to concern Ramsey. Her face paled and her lips were turned down.
"So, you'll have to go back?" Worry laced the inflection of her voice.
I didn't want Ramsey near this part of my life, didn't want to share that I had already a meeting scheduled this week with them. The less she knew, the better.
"They can ask, but I have assurances in place if they ever get pushy about it." I winked at her while turning back towards the room.
Later that evening, I wanted to ask her about going back to Chicago and what she planned to do if her mom passed, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I wanted to hear her say that she would stay, but I realized that maybe this six weeks was what she needed to push her to do it. So, I stayed quiet and enjoyed hearing the sound of her laughter as we finished up another episode. I said goodnight to Ramsey with a high five, and walked back down to the extra room in the basement.
As I fell asleep that night, I realized the first official friend session had gone off without a hitch. I never knew that I could be vulnerable with someone without it being physical. Never in my life have I enjoyed watching TV with someone as much as I did with her. I was hungry for more of her time, more of everything from her.
I was in the middle of a client meeting with a new champagne vendor. The guy was going to charge double my current vendor, but was trying to convince me it would be worth it. I took the meeting as a courtesy to Jackson, who had set up the contact, to begin with, but I wasn’t going to switch. Once the meeting was over and I promised to think over the options, I dialed Jackson. I made my way back to the town car waiting for me. I liked to take town cars when I had a lot of calls to make, so I didn’t have to worry about my focus being divided.
Jackson picked up on the fourth ring and seemed out of breath and frustrated.
“Yeah?” he practically yelled; he must not have looked at the caller ID.
“Hey, Jackson, it’s me…Jimmy. Everything okay?”
I could hear him let out a loud sigh, but he was still breathing hard. “Sorry man, I was just getting off the treadmill, and I thought you were my assistant calling again for the fiftieth time today.”
I knew Jackson couldn’t stand his assistant—she was twenty-two, or something like that, and had a major crush on him. It was painfully obvious, and he had been trying to find ways to fire her ever since he figured out that her crush extended to almost obsession territory. Problem was, she had complained about him to his company’s HR manager, twice, for reasons that didn’t exist, and Jackson didn’t need the potential legal headache.
“Sorry man, is she getting worse?” I tried to empathize, but I had warned Jackson not to hire the girl in the first place. I told him he needed a fifty to seventy-year-old assistant, with cute grandkids, a tight bun, and graying hair. Anyone younger, male or female, would be trouble for him. Jackson just had that kind of effect on people.
Jackson’s breathing had normalized, and I could hear him turning the water on. “She’s getting worse. She knows that I'm interested or rather, spending time with someone, and she’s entered full-on stalker mode. She showed up at my house with three suits that I am positive she stole out of my closet, saying she found them at the dry cleaners. She’s totally crazy, and I am talking to a lawyer about how to handle her.”
Poor guy. That sucked, but then again, so did sitting in the friend zone, with the girl of your dreams acting as your assistant and accountant.
“Sorry man, that sucks. You want me to call later?”
Jackson laughed. “No man, your call is a nice distraction. How’s it going? How are things with Ramsey?”
I smiled, thinking of last night. “Things are good. We're becoming friends for six weeks, after which I get to declare my feelings for her,” I said in all seriousness. I could hear Jackson spitting out water as he choked on a laugh.
“What the hell? Are you serious, man?”
I smiled again because I loved that Ramsey had thought of it. “Yeah, I’m serious. But it’s perfect, I get to hang out with her and ask her anything I want, and basically just get to know her without things being weird, or moving too fast or too slow.”
Jackson was quiet on the other end until I heard him sigh. “Well, I’m glad it’s working out for you, brother, I was worried for a second. I saw how hard you were falling… and I just want to be sure you were being careful.”
“I know, and thank you. She wants to do this to protect both of us, so we know each other, and there aren't any surprises.”
Jackson laughed. “Well, you might want to tell her about Lisa, and a few other ghosts that might come back to haunt you.”
I frowned. “I told her about the Brass, but I am working on the Lisa thing.”
He let out a little laugh that was meant to be joking. “Did you tell her what it would take to get out of the Brass, once and for all? Because don’t think they don’t know where you have been, Jimmy. They are just waiting until they need to call in a favor.”
A sick feeling twisted in my gut at the reminder that I hadn't told Jackson about the meeting yet. "Listen, about that." I ran my hands through my hair as I watched the city of Rockford pass by. "Davis found Lisa, he wants a meeting. It's set up for tomorrow."
I waited. Jackson was silent for longer than I expected, but finally, he let out an exaggerated sigh.
"Jimmy was that smart?" he asked, sincerely. He didn't let me answer before he continued, "She isn't worth getting tied back up with them. Think about Ramsey, think about what they might do if you piss them off."
I knew he was right and I hated it. Jackson had never been a part of the MC, but he was there to witness its effect on me. He was there when I lost my temper and there when I went to jail. He knew all too well what kind of impact their presence would have on my life. This was all stuff I owed to Ramsey, to tell her, so she knew. She deserved to know about my past, my anger issues, and Lisa. I just didn’t want to scare her away.
“It's probably not smart, but you know that it was just a matter of time."
Jackson swore under his breath. "I suppose you're right. Do you want me to call Gepsy?"
"Yeah." I rubbed my forehead as I saw the turn off for the bar approach. "Look, man, I called to tell you that your champagne vendor is shit, and I’m stickin
g with the one I have, but I played nice and sat through all his pretentious pleasantries.”
Jackson laughed. “Well, I figured as much, but I had to try. Thank you for sitting through all that. I know how much you hate rich people and all their weird dishware.”
He was right, of course, and I hated the three different-sized plates they served miniature-sized food that would have fed a mouse. I also think the jerk had diamonds hanging from his ceiling. “Yeah, that was never going to work out, man, and you know it.”
“I know, I know, but again, I had to try. Their champagne is amazing, bro.” Jackson laughed again.
“Well good luck, man, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
I ended the call and was just around the corner from work when I noticed a certain green SUV parked in front of the bar, and my pulse jumped. I didn’t think Ramsey would be well enough to come back into work so soon. The car stopped in front of the bar and I hopped out. Once I headed inside, I heard Ramsey's light laughter resonate through the bar. She had a cute laugh that started soft but, depending on how funny something was, grew more intense and eventually ended with her sounding like a seal. I knew because she laughed like a seal through nearly episode of The Office last night.
I walked a little further in and noticed that Rav, our chef, was leaning against the bar with Wilson, our shift supervisor, along with a few of our waitstaff, Jenny and Kim. They were talking about being sick, and Ramsey was being very animated, but very accurate about how sick she was, while describing how loud the sound of her cough was and6 using her nose to emphasize how red it had gotten in just a few days.
She was wearing another blazer jacket with dark jeans. For her still being sick, she looked very put together, in high heels, and her hair wavy had a few braids woven in. Her back was to me, so she was the last to see me coming up behind the group. Once I was next to her, everyone stopped laughing and they all looked at us. She looked over, still smiling from her story, and I noticed that she still looked tired. I wrestled with wanting to demand she go back to my house and sleep, and telling her to stay here because I wanted to be around her. She smiled, crossed her arms, and was the first to respond out of the group with, “Hey, boss.”
I hated when she called me boss because it felt like she was reminding me that I shouldn’t want to date her. I stared at her before responding with, “Hey, employee.” I was being sarcastic and a little bit of a jerk, so I nudged her arm and pointed at everyone. “What’s going on, did we all suddenly decide we didn’t have any work to do?”
They let out a bit of laughter and started milling around. Rav was looking at me a little weird, shifting his feet, and darting his eyes from me to the kitchen door. I walked with him back to the kitchen as Ramsey headed for our office. Once we were in the kitchen, Rav tied a new apron around his middle section and kept his eyes on the food in front of him. He started separating garnishes and grabbed some parsley and started chopping. I stood there, waiting for him to talk. He looked up from the counter, and his eyes darted around the room, almost to ensure that we were alone.
“I got another phone call today.”
I didn’t say anything because I knew he would continue.
“It was Davis again. Told me to tell you not to come tomorrow, he has a different date in mind.”
I waited a second, looking around the kitchen, confirming there wasn't anyone that would hear us.
“Did he say why? I was under the impression that he was in a hurry.” I ran my hand along the counter top. Rav shook his head back and forth.
"Just that he needed a week."
I wasn't sure what to make of this new development, but I knew Davis liked to play with people. I nodded my head in understanding and walked out of the kitchen to my office, remembering that Ramsey was already set up to work in there. Ramsey had her feet propped up on my desk, her laptop in her lap. Rounding the desk, she smiled at me, then threw her legs down, situating herself in the chair.
“Hey, sorry, I just figured I'd get comfy until you came back.”
I waved her off as I started my computer up. “No, don't worry about that. You can sit however you want, it's your office too.”
She smiled and turned a little pink, which reminded me of her nose.
“Hey, are you sure you're feeling better? You must be feeling pretty weak after the last few days.”
Her smile faltered. “Honestly… yes, I'm exhausted, but I need to get back to work. I'm not contagious anymore.” She said this matter-of-factly, like she was hoping to convince me.
“I'm not worried about that, Ramsey. I'm worried about you resting and getting better.”
I hoped that she would agree to go home, or to my house and rest, but she didn’t. I let out a sigh. “At least go work in Belvidere for a few hours, then go home, or to my house and rest, please?”
She gave me a quizzical look. “You want me to go back to your house to rest?”
I smiled while nodding. “I think you freak your mom out when you don’t feel good. So yes, go to my house. No one is home, sleep as long as you want. But if you absolutely feel the need to work, then go over to Sip N Sides.”
She bit down on her bottom lip and looked down at the desk. “How would I get in if I go to your house?”
I didn't know why, but the fact that she was willing to go back to my house did something to me. I pulled my key ring out and started taking the house key off. “Here take this, I am going to make you a copy sometime anyway, since you will be hanging out with me so much in the near future.” I glanced at her with a smug grin.
She blushed. “Yes, friends do have keys to each other’s houses, I guess.”
She took the key and bent down to grab her laptop bag. When she sat back up, she looked at me and let out a sigh. “Fine, Jimmy, I will go back to your ridiculously comfortable bed and sleep all day. If I start to get some energy, I will head over to Theo’s place, okay?”
I smiled and started typing away. “Okay, thank you for dedicating the day to improving your life.” I winked at her as she stood to leave.
She threw me a small wave over her shoulder and walked out of the office. I hated that I felt relieved that she left, but I wanted some time to try and dig into why Davis might want the meeting moved. The thought of putting all the Brass business behind me, once and for all, teased me. I felt that hope inflate my lungs like artificial air, hoping the sinking feeling in my gut would go away once I had a plan in place.
I took the rest of the day to rest at Jimmy's house, but after a few hours, I was feeling better and headed over to Sip N Sides. I walked through the doors and waited the few seconds it usually took for my eyes to adjust to the darker room.
Except things weren't as dark as they normally were.
I stopped between two poker tables, near the entrance, and took inventory of the room.
The pool tables were still the same old tattered relics they'd always been. The standing table tops were also the same, as well as the older pictures covering the walls, but instead of low-hanging, green-plated light fixtures, there was now recessed lighting through the entire building.
What the heck? Since it was still early, the lighting was brighter, causing everything to look clean and new. Or maybe it was because the new barstools had arrived, and— Where was the carpet? I looked down at my feet and turned in a circle. How did I miss that? Where old, gray, very stained carpet used to be was now shiny wood flooring. It ran throughout the entire room.
I counted back the days to when I had last been at Sip N Sides, and wondered how all this took place so fast? Theo finally made his way out of the office and found me gaping at all the upgrades. He immediately turned bashful, scratching at his hair while turning to look at the room.
"You think I went overboard?" Theo asked, hesitantly. Still in shock, I circled the room once more before answering.
"Theo, this place looks so good. How did you get it all done so fast?" It was a like a math problem I needed to solve. Theo shrugge
d his shoulders while looking around the room again.
“I knew a flooring guy. We ordered these stools last week from a local place, and a friend of mine does electric work and helped me out on the lights.” Theo's dark blue and black flannel moved as he shrugged again, as if it were that simple. My mind was working too hard; it didn't even really matter, but I had to have more information.
"But you have to let the wood adjust to the temperature of the room for at least a week before they lay it down. I saw that on an HGTV show once,” I explained, matter-of-factly, like I actually knew something about installing wood floors. Theo laughed while bending down to the floor.
“Ain’t that somethin’? These beauties were resting right under all that carpet.” He stroked the wood floor with a smirk on his lips.
Theo had real wood floors laying under that disgusting carpet?! What else was this place hiding? I started to eye the older-than-dirt photos on the walls, as though underneath them might be a hidden vein of gold.
Shaking my head to rid it of the need for more details, I moved on to Theo's office.
"So, you need any help with balancing the receipts for any of that stuff?" I asked, while powering up my laptop. He came in right after me, and took a seat in his squeaky, old wooden desk chair.
“Sure, that'd be nice,” he answered, while pulling out a small envelope full of receipts. My eyes narrowed to slits at how unorganized his receipts were. I grabbed the envelope with enthusiasm, which may be the reason Theo ended up leaving for an hour or so, but no one can be sure. When he did return, he had two guests with him.
"So, how was school today, you guys?" I asked Jasmine and Sammy while taking a sip of a chocolate shake. Sammy turned his thumb up while still gulping his treat. Jasmine looked a little more introspective as she sat dragging her finger through the condensation on the cup, instead of drinking the shake.
“Jasmine, everything okay?” I asked, reaching over to squeeze her side.
She kept her gaze straight forward for a moment or two, until finally, she released a sigh and turned to face me.
