by Ashley Munoz
Ramsey locked eyes with Laney as they both started to stand. Loyalty and solidarity seemed to be the name of the game tonight for these two. Ramsey made a sound with her throat and cut in, “Yeah, I think that's a good idea.”
She glared at me and continued, “Jimmy, I would have loved the opportunity to introduce you to my best friend, but looks like that ship has sailed. Laney, let's go.”
They pushed their chairs back, grabbed their purses, and started to move away from the table. I thought I was getting better at being her friend, and a friend would probably just let her go, but with the way she looked tonight, I couldn't let her. I looked over at Jackson and saw the same panic in his eyes.
“I need to talk to you, Laney…” Jackson pleaded. He started to stand and reached for Laney’s arm.
She stopped and turned towards him, looking down at his hand and then back up to him. “Jackson, no, we don’t. We have nothing to discuss.”
“You kissed me!” Jackson’s voice grew louder, then he looked around and realized he was very close to making a scene. He lowered his voice and continued, “You fell asleep in my arms, on my couch, and the next morning, you left and stole my car. No note, no sorry, or thank you for allowing you to crash at my place, to begin with, nothing. I think you owe me a conversation, Laney…” Jackson's eyes were narrowed, his tone firm, but his grip on Laney's arms looked light. He looked over at me for just a brief moment, and I knew that was code for ‘give us some privacy.’ I stood up and gently pulled Ramsey towards me. She was suspended in time, her mouth wide open in shock as she stared at her best friend. Laney hadn't stopped staring daggers at Jackson, but she finally relented and sat down, spurring Ramsey back into the present.
Taking advantage of the moment, I tugged on Ramsey’s arm and pulled her away from the table. Once we were walking down the steps and onto the main floor, I grabbed her hand and linked our fingers together, leading her out to the patio where there were several couples dancing. The cold air settled around us as we gathered in the middle of the floor. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to me. The heating lamps and fire pits gave off bursts of warmth against the cold September air, and from the speakers, a slow, haunting song with banjos and guitars played. It was beautiful. Ramsey seemed to be enjoying herself because when I looked down at her, I saw her smiling, which was a relief after the surprise dinner fiasco. We danced under a string of lights. The lights, along with the few fire pits, was giving off a soft glow that made Ramsey look like otherworldly, as cheesy as it sounds—she looked like an angel. I pulled her a little closer, enjoying the closeness between us. Just when I thought I was home free of any issues from the dinner, I looked down and saw Ramsey's face, and that smile was gone, her head slightly tilted back.
“Jimmy, why did you pull this stunt tonight? Do you have any idea what could have happened?”
That made me laugh, I couldn’t help it. “What exactly do you mean? What was going to happen?”
She reared her head back even further, until she was nearly out of my arms. “You don’t know how crazy Laney is! She could shut down this entire establishment, and still walk out like a lady when she was done.” I smiled, but had to hold back rolling my eyes. I doubted that her tiny friend had that much fire in her. Still, I owed Ramsey something for what I pulled tonight.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do. Jackson was going to find out regardless because of the chip in his car, and I didn’t want him to show up at your house and start yelling or anything, and creating issues for your mom. So, I convinced him to calm down and wait until tonight.”
She stared at my neck, like she was considering it. “Well, I can understand that, but next time, just tell me. I would have gone along with it, but it would have been nice to be in the loop.” I was surprised. I was expecting yelling, the silent treatment, something other than understanding and acceptance. I suddenly realized how much I hated this stupid six-week rule between us. We were dancing again, and she tucked her head under my chin, moving her hands to the back of my shoulders. I held her closer; we were basically one person at this point. It wasn’t enough. It never was with her, but the fact that she looked the way she did tonight, and I had her here pressed against me, in my arms, and I couldn’t do anything about it, was too much. I leaned down and spoke into her ear, “Are we allowed to break any of these friendship rules?”
She kept dancing, but lifted her head to look at me, the hint of a smile on her lips. “Why, what rules are you thinking of breaking?”
I waited for a breath before answering. “I want to kiss you.”
She was looking at me but wasn't saying anything, like maybe she was thinking it over. I thought I would use the silence to choose for her, so I leaned in to claim her mouth. Just as our mouths almost connected, she placed both hands on my chest and pushed, abruptly ending the chance for a kiss.
I watched her face as a sheen of red colored her cheeks. Her eyes were darting around the patio and tears were welling in her eyes, then her voice cracked.
“Not here, Jimmy, are you kidding me? This is where we work. I can’t believe you would almost kiss me, where everyone can see us. Can’t you see how that looks for both of us? Especially since we aren’t… you know?”
I had so many thoughts going through my head. I was irritated that she stopped our kiss for the sake of other people, but I had to look at it from her perspective. This was our place of work, and I knew that she was still new here. She didn’t want people to look at her differently. I understood that, but what did she mean by the last part of her sentence?
“What do you mean, ‘we aren’t’… we aren’t what?”
She crossed her arms around herself, and I noticed goose bumps breaking out on her skin. She was obviously cold, which was kind of ruining the moment—or non-moment—that we were having. So, I gently grabbed her elbow and led her to a nearby fire pit, off the dance floor. She put her hand towards the flame and I slipped my jacket over her shoulders. Once the large jacket settled on her, she turned to look at me. I don’t think she understood how hard it was for me not to kiss her; she really would have way more respect for me, if she had any idea whatsoever.
She started to gently explain, “I mean, we aren’t anything but friends, and the people who work with us might get confused if they see us do anything that looks nonfriend-like.”
I looked away from her and watched the flames; the term “not anything but friends” was rubbing and grating against me. There really wasn't anything like having the girl that you are falling in love with reminding you that you haven’t won yet, and that the two of you are still only friends. I realized that I might screw up any chances that I had with her choosing to be mine after the six weeks was up, so I put a smile on my face and apologized.
“I’m so stupid, please forgive me. I can’t believe I almost did that. I won’t let that happen again.”
She gave me a weak smile. “It’s okay, sorry I freaked out on you. I just don’t want people to think that I got this job because of certain things that aren’t going on between us.”
I knew that if I told her that half the staff was already giving me a hard time about not making a move on her, she would only get more embarrassed, so I just agreed and nodded my head. I looked towards the doors that led back to the bar and decided that maybe I should let Ramsey have her night back.
“Should we head back in now?” I put my elbow out for her to grab, she held onto it and nodded. We walked back in and saw that Jackson and Laney were still talking, which was good. Laney was leaning closer towards Jackson, there was a coffee in front of each of them, and a pitcher of water at the table. I could see, as we got closer, that Laney had been crying and Jackson’s face was red as well. As we approached, Laney stood up and grabbed her purse, and said she needed to go to the restroom, grabbing Ramsey’s arm and pulling her away. I sat down and watched Jackson as he poured himself some more water and finished it off. He turned his head towards me and gave me a look, like
he was pained and exasperated.
“What’s going on between you two?” I asked.
Jackson let out an audible sigh. “Man, I don’t even know. I keep screwing things up with her. I am trying to convince her to let me drive her back to the city tomorrow, but she’s pushing back and being stubborn.…” He let his head hang. I reached out and gripped his shoulder until he looked at me.
“Don’t worry man,” I tried to encourage him. “If she stole your car, then she is definitely feeling some things for you, give it time.”
He gave me a small smile of gratitude. I turned my head just then, and noticed Ramsey coming back towards the table. Laney was with her, but I didn’t really see her because when Ramsey was in the room, all I noticed was her. Jackson gripped my shoulder, like I had done to him and whispered, “Six weeks, man… Six weeks.”
“Jimmy, could you please take us home?” Laney asked as soon as we got back to the table. I turned to look at her, a little confused because she had just told me during our bathroom break that she wanted Jackson to take her back to Chicago tonight. I smiled at Laney while giving her a look that said I was trying to keep up with her mood swings. I encouraged the idea of Jimmy taking us home, hoping he had brought the Tahoe.
“Of course,” Jimmy responded with a smile, but kept his eyes on Jackson. He must have been looking for some sign that Jackson wanted to take Laney, not that he would have had much of a choice. Once Laney made up her mind, that was it… like when she set her mind to stealing a car. I swear, she would end up in jail one of these days. Jimmy stood up, and Jackson looked like someone just kicked him in the kidneys, but he followed us out of the restaurant. He hung back with Laney, trying to talk to her. I even saw him try to reach for her at one point. Laney hadn’t said much about what happened between them, except that she couldn’t believe that he came after her. Which was ironic because she took his car.
I walked to the passenger side door in the front of the Tahoe. Jimmy followed me and opened the door for me, then walked over and climbed into his side. He started the car, as I pulled back the large arms from Jimmy’s jacket that were covering my hands and moved all the air vents towards me. I glanced over my shoulder, out the back window, and saw that Laney was still talking to Jackson. At this point, they looked like two high schoolers who were fighting. Jackson got points for taking off his jacket and placing it over Laney’s shoulders. Jimmy and I both watched them, although we gave up on looking over our shoulders, and settled for moving the rearview mirror until we could see them comfortably. I was toying with the hem of Jimmy’s jacket, thinking about whether or not I should give it back to him at the end of the night when Jimmy spoke up. “Do you think I should start moving? Maybe we should just leave and let them sort this out?”
He was laughing as he said it, but I still swung my head over to him in disbelief. “No, we can’t leave her! She asked you to take her for a reason.”
“I know, I’m kidding, but I think Jackson might be in love, and he might appreciate it if we just left her here with him,” Jimmy joked again.
“I know, but trust me, you don’t want to do that unless Laney says so, otherwise you will have made an enemy for life.” I attempted to educate him on some of Laney’s mannerisms because it mattered to me that Laney liked Jimmy and vice versa.
The back door opened, and Laney climbed in with Jackson’s help, he gave her a longing look and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He looked in the mirror at Jimmy’s eyes and Jimmy nodded, then she shut the door and we were off.
Throughout the drive, we didn’t really talk about anything specific, but Jimmy grabbed my hand a few times. When I looked at him, he shrugged his shoulders, saying, “What? Friends hold hands, don't they?” He looked in the rearview mirror and implored Laney for help. “Don’t they, Laney?”
I looked back at her and she gave me the most sardonic smile. She was still wrapped in Jackson’s jacket and, looking smug, she laughed and loudly said, “Absolutely, Jimmy. I hold Ramsey’s hand all the time.”
That encouraged Jimmy to squeeze my hand and he didn’t let go for the rest of the trip. Jimmy talked about Sammy’s soccer tryouts that were coming up, and I asked for all the details. I wanted to know when and where. I wanted to know how exactly I could be the absolute biggest fan of little Sammy Stenson.
“Two weeks from now, he will do some preliminary tryouts, but they are just so that the coaches can get a glimpse of the players before spring.”
“Well, I want to be there. Can I be there? Can I talk to the people judging? Can I help train Sammy?” I was practically begging at this point.
Jimmy laughed again and looked over at me for a second with a look that made my heartrate rise to a point of medical concern. Then he pulled my hand closer to him and said, “Of course. To all of it. Sammy would love the help, you can talk to whoever you want, and you better be there.”
I was starting to feel guilty because Jimmy hadn’t really done anything but act like he wanted me. Not temporarily or for selfish reasons, he just acted sweet and like he genuinely liked me. I still stood by my need for a foundation between us because there was so much at stake, but I knew that I wanted to give him something. I sat there, putting my little plan together secretly, and let Jimmy hold my hand until the car stopped. We were in front of my house.
I made my way out of the car as Jimmy got out and walked around to meet me. He even helped Laney get out before he made it to me. Laney walked past me and went inside without even looking back and once the front door shut, I planted my hands on the car behind me. Jimmy was about a foot away, watching me. I looked up at him and waited, hoping he would step closer. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. I wanted to be firm on the friendship thing and not confuse him, but I also wanted to show him how much I appreciated his efforts with me. Thankfully, he stepped closer and I took advantage. Clutching onto what little courage I had, I grabbed the front of his shirt, stepped into him, and kissed him.
My lips met his in a rushed panic, like if I didn’t do it, I never would. He slowed us down by gently grabbing my elbows and pulling me closer, adjusting us until our kiss was slow and perfect. It was quickly building momentum though and my arms, on their own accord went around his neck and that little bit of distance between was erased. His arms went around me, his hands splayed flat on my back. There was so much building between us in that moment and I needed more. I pushed closer, but he gently pulled his head back until his lips were hovering next to mine, our foreheads touching. His hands were still on my back and mine were still around his neck when he whispered, “That was some odd behavior for a friend.”
I looked into those green eyes and matched his smile, thankful that he stopped us before things went too far. We started to separate, and I straightened out my dress, all while he watched me. I wrapped my arms around my middle.
“Well, I just… uh, you mentioned back at the restaurant…” I was tripping over my words and sounded like an idiot. I knew he liked the kiss and wanted it, but I could feel my cheeks heating at his joke. He stepped forward and pulled his jacket closer around my body.
“Don’t get me wrong, I would love it if this type of behavior was acceptable for just being friends, but something tells me it’s not.” He was looking at me like he was trying to figure out a puzzle because I was a freaking puzzle. A complicated, weird, billion-piece puzzle.
I looked up into his eyes as I answered him, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have blurred the lines or made it confusing. I do want to just be friends and build that relationship up for six weeks. I shouldn’t have done that…”
He cut me off with a hug. A sweet and simple hug, then he burrowed his nose into my neck and whispered again, “It was perfect. I get it, don’t worry about it. We will go back to being friends. Just friends, thank you for this.”
He let me go and I gently stepped away. As I walked towards the house, I turned around and gave him one more smile. I didn’t know if he could feel it or not, but I was feeling it deep in my
bones. I knew that I could bypass friendship all together and just be his. I was falling for Jimmy Stenson, falling so ridiculously hard, and I could only pray that as I fell, I wouldn't break.
I walked into the dark house and found that Laney was back in my bedroom. My tv was on, with Parks and Rec playing. Laney was in an oversized t-shirt under my covers. She glanced up at me and smiled. She knew. Of course, she knew. Then she started in on me.
“You little hussy. You totally kissed your single dad friend, who is also your boss.” I bent down, grabbed a pillow, and threw it at her. It was an awkward throw because my hands were still stuck inside Jimmy’s large jacket, which I totally planned to never give back to him.
“Shut up. You suck for reminding me of all the reasons why I shouldn't have kissed him.”
She fell over laughing, and covered her mouth, probably remembering that my poor, sick mother was sleeping.
“I’m sorry, okay. I just thought it was hilarious how you both kept giving each other those ‘come kiss me’ eyes all night. I would be a rich woman if I didn’t only have myself to bet with because I totally bet that you would kiss him tonight.”
I slipped the jacket off from my shoulders and laid it across my chair like it was a fragile piece of glass. I grabbed some pajamas and headed into the bathroom, but didn’t shut the door. I called out from there to continue our little conversation. “I only kissed him because he wanted to kiss me at the club, but I shut him down because I was worried about people seeing us.”
I was pulling the flannel shorts up my legs as I heard Laney respond, “You were worried about people seeing you?” She asked it with a tone. A judgy one.
I turned a mean glare on her as I left the bathroom and crawled into bed next to her. “Of course I was worried about that. It's my place of work, and I don’t want anyone worried about me getting that job for sleeping with the boss.”
