by Ashley Munoz
I didn’t really care about anything she said, except that I didn’t have to drink alone, so I said yes to everything else. I wasn't going to drive, so I planned ahead and found an Uber willing to drive out to my house. The guy was really nice, he told me that he would be giving rides all night, but that he wouldn’t mind giving me a ride back to Belvidere when I was ready. It was nine at night, I felt old and tired. I wasn't used to being out so late, but Jessica promised that it wasn’t even worth leaving the house until nine, that was when the whole town came alive. The Uber pulled up to the curb of the nightclub and I carefully got out after paying my fare. I waved goodbye to Steve, the Uber driver, and headed towards the winding line around the brick building.
I wasn’t sure where Jessica was yet, so I pulled out my phone to text her, but I stopped as soon as I heard her squeal. I wasn’t sure what else to call it, but Jessica was twenty-one and perky as hell. She squealed and screamed any chance she got. She headed towards me, with two girls flanking her. One was a tall brunette, and the other was blonde, like Jessica, but shorter and curvier. They both looked to be about the same age as Jessica, and they both wore barely enough clothes to cover their lady parts, which made me wildly uncomfortable for them. I waved hello to the girls, and Jessica did a quick introduction of everyone. When she was done, I shifted in my high heels, and pulled Jessica away from her friends. I was nervous and self-conscious, and nearly thirty years old. “Hey, Jess, am I dressed okay?”
Her beady blue eyes about fell out of their sockets. She slapped my arm and I winced, “Girl, you are effing hot! Are you kidding me? Don’t downplay your hotness, it is going to be work for us other girls to get any guy's attention with you around. So shut up and follow us, we are so using you to get in tonight.”
I looked down at my black dress, it was pretty modest compared to what everyone else seemed to be wearing. It was almost knee-length, and strapless, but I wasn’t busty or anything, so I didn’t have an issue of my boobs falling out. My hair was straightened, level ten difficulty, and I had on some darker eye makeup. I finished my look off with the some red lipstick.
Suddenly, I was feeling a bit better. The four of us walked past everyone, and I kept my head low to avoid attention as we cut everybody in line. Jessica pushed me until I was in front of our little group, facing a large bouncer. I smiled at the bald-headed man full of muscle and tattoos, and thankfully, he smiled back and waved us forward after looking at our IDs. We didn’t even have to pay the cover charge. I felt bad for the long line of people waiting to get in, but suddenly my insecurity about being rejected by Jimmy Stenson started to melt away.
We walked into the club, and I couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. We all grabbed each other’s arms and headed towards the edge of the room. Jessica yelled into our faces, so we could hear her as we huddled around a tall table.
“Okay ladies, the goal is to not pay for a single drink. Let’s take this two at a time, so that our odds are better. Lindsey and Jen, you two stick together. Ramsey and I will team up.”
I thought I saw Lindsey, the tall brunette, roll her eyes, but I could have been wrong. I took a second to really look around at the place, to get my bearings.
There were neon lights flashing in all different directions. The floors were hardwood, the tall tables along the edge of the room were white, and the bar was white. There was an upper level that had black ropes blocking it off, and a silver sign that said ‘VIP’ hanging from some of the black ropes, I couldn’t see above the rope from where I was sitting though. The bartenders were not only insanely handsome, but they all wore black shirts with white ties. The waitresses, equally as gorgeous, all wore white dresses with one thin black strip down the middle. The music was so loud that I could feel the bass in my bones; it was deafening and alluring. I was excited to try this drink challenge out. Jen and Lindsey headed towards some of the booths in the back, where there were a few groups of guys huddled up. Jessica and I headed towards the bar.
There were already several people standing around the bar, yelling out their drink orders. Jessica spotted two guys alone, and headed their way. I was nervous; I wasn't a flirt, and I didn't mind paying for my own drinks. More than anything, I really didn't want any more rejection. The two guys watched as we approached, and both of them unleashed megawatt smiles. They weren't too terrible looking, so I dug deep and put on a smile for them. Jessica headed for the shorter blond-haired guy, who was sporting a good amount of scruff and had on a nice suit. The other guy was taller, with dark hair and a strong jaw. He wasn't bad-looking, but there weren't any sparks either. His eyes were brown, not lake green. My heart ached a little at that, but I pushed it away. The taller guy leaned in towards me, so I could hear him.
“Hi! I’m Clark.”
I didn't try to lean back to see him, I just shouted back, “I'm Ramsey!”
He leaned back to catch my eye. “Funny name. Good thing you're hot.”
Oh, hell no.
Was this guy for real?
“Can I buy you a drink, Ramsey?” he yelled, and started gently rubbing circles on my bare arm. If I had to use someone, I guess this chump would do. I nodded and asked for a martini, making sure he requested the good vodka. Once I had my drink in hand, I smiled my thanks and walked away.
Jessica caught on and followed after me with her drink. She grabbed my arm and laughed into it. “I can't believe you did that, Ramsey!”
I kept walking and shouted over my shoulder to her, “Well, he was a jerk, and no one told him to buy me a twelve-dollar drink. I sure as heck didn't say I'd be sticking around.”
Jessica laughed again. “Oh my God, you're the best!”
I smiled as I finished my drink. Jessica pulled me towards the dance floor as a new song started. “Come on, let's go fishing for more free drinks on the dance floor.”
I followed after her, our arms up high above the crowd as we blended in with all the bodies. Jessica made her way over to a guy who was standing on the side, watching. She pulled his arms around her and they started moving to the music. That same feeling of panic or insecurity started flaring up again. Maybe it was just melancholy because I'd rather be in my sweats watching a princess movie with Jasmine right now. I wasn’t spotting any guys that were alone, and I wasn’t brave enough to cut into a couple that was already dancing, so I just moved to the music on my own.
Suddenly, there were arms around my waist and someone’s nose next to my ear. Their big hands were moving all over my front as they grinded into me from behind. I tried to turn and look, but the hands held me forward.
He rasped in my ear, “When I buy someone a drink, it’s usually followed with some gratitude. If you want to act like a bitch, then I’ll treat you like one.”
Clark the asshat had found me. Great
Clark’s hands gripped my sides so hard that I cried out in pain, but with the music, no one could hear me. I tried to find Jessica, but she was facing away from me, and halfway across the dance floor. I couldn’t move. Clark’s hands pulled my waist back and shoved my butt into his groin, where he held it while he moved. I could feel him getting hard, and I wanted to puke.
I pulled away again, and tried to turn around, but he held me firm and yelled again, “I’m getting my money’s worth, baby, whether you like it or not. Just be thankful you walked away after one drink, or else I would be hauling your ass up to one of those rooms in the VIP area right now.” Then he licked my ear, and tears started to burn at the edges of my eyes.
I didn’t know what to do. His grip was anchored at my waist, which left my torso freer to move, so I leaned forward as much as I could and threw my head back as hard as I could, right into Clark’s nose. He let go of me instantly, which was the in that I needed. My head hurt, but I'd suffered worse on the soccer field. I turned my body quickly and kneed Clark in the groin, just in case he had any thoughts about grabbing me again. I was breathing heavily, while I slowly backed away from him. Clark’s nose was bleeding everywhere, and he was p
itched forward, holding onto his junk. There was a huge hole where we had been, and around it, there were several couples huddled together, watching.
I looked up and noticed a few bouncers on their way over. I scanned the room for a brief second before my eyes went towards the VIP area, my mind going back to what Clark said about there being rooms in this club to take women to. Was it possible for guys like Clark to drag girls up to a private room and rape them? My heart was in my throat at that thought, and I vowed to make sure that was looked into. As I scanned the VIP area for those rooms, my eyes caught on a familiar face.
Jimmy was standing there in the VIP area, watching me with a murderous look.
He was near a booth that had a few guys, who each had a woman on their lap. A few seconds passed between us before a leggy blonde in a tiny silver dress walk forward and laid her hand on Jimmy’s chest to pull him back towards the booth. I turned away and pushed through the crowd. I knew the police would be called and that I would have to deal with that, but I had to get out of there. First, I needed a mirror and a second to compose myself. Jimmy couldn’t see me fall apart; I wouldn’t let him see me fall apart. Not after he just witnessed me headbutting some guy, and not after I witnessed him being here with someone else after ignoring me for an entire week.
I had slowly been losing it all week. I'd check my phone and see that Ramsey hadn't texted and every single time, I'd breathe in relief. If she texted me, Davis would see it. I missed her, but I didn't want her to reach out. I'd drive by the restaurant and see her car, and my stomach would pitch. I'd drive by her street in my dad's truck, just to see that she was home. I was starting to crack. The fissure was evident for certain today.
I walked into the kitchen to talk to Rav about the menu for the weekend. Just as I got close to him, I smelled Ramsey's perfume, and all my buried anger issues came to the surface in an instant, and I lost my temper. I stalked towards Rav until I was in his face, and grabbed a fistful of his shirt.
“Why the hell do you smell like Ramsey?” I snapped at him. I had no idea what was happening to me, but jealousy was running the show and it wanted blood.
Rav put up his hands in surrender, and then gently took my hands off his shirt. He took two big steps back. My brain registered that Rav was built like a dump truck and could easily hurt me if he wanted to. Even as I stood there, not sure what I was even doing, but ready for a fight, I saw Rav soften. His big eyebrows drew down, his shoulders slumped, and he looked worried. Rav would never hurt me, he was too good of a friend for that. Shit. What was I doing? I stepped back and turned away from him, still breathing hard and fighting for control.
Silence surrounded us and after a few seconds I heard him say, “Jimmy, calm down, man.”
He waited for me to take a few breaths before continuing. I turned towards him and hated myself for the dark expression on his face and the fear in his eyes. He wasn't afraid of me, he was afraid of what I would do to myself. What damage I could do to my reputation, to our friendship, how much I'd hate myself for it. I looked down and focused on who was in front of me—my friend, someone I would never hurt. Rav must have seen the change in my face because he chose that moment to continue.
“She was really sad today, so I baked her those scones that she loves. I walked into the office right as Jessica was testing some of Ramsey's perfume out or whatever. The two of them were talking and Jessica said she wanted to try some on. Anyway, the stupid shit hit me right as I walked through the door.”
I looked back down at the floor, shame stinging my face. I pulled my hand through my hair and let the air out of my lungs.
“I’m sorry, Rav, I just…” I trailed off, not sure how to even explain this. Rav didn’t even know that there was something going on between Ramsey and me, but after this, it probably wouldn't take much work to know there was.
“I just… it’s hard to be away from her right now, and she thinks that I hate her,” I croaked out in a low voice.
Rav crossed his arms over his chest, his bald head shining under the lights. There was no one else in the kitchen; the three other kitchen staff were in a different area. Which was good, I didn’t need rumors to start that I was manhandling my employees.
“She said you were mad at her, that you showed up at her house drunk, then disappeared, then…nothing… Is that what happened?” Rav asked, his eyebrows drawn together, and his jaw was tight. He was pissed and I didn’t blame him. I knew that he and Ramsey were friends, and he had his own relationship with her.
“It’s complicated, but yes. She lied to me about something or didn’t tell me the entire truth about it. I freaked out because it brought back some fears I have about Lisa, or whatever.” I waved my hand, trying to brush off the topic. I didn't want to dig up my entire life right now and Rav didn't need to know every detail. “Anyway, I haven’t even been able to talk to her about any of it yet,” I explained in a rush, trying to get it all out. Rav let go of his arms and turned away from me, grabbing a white rag, and started wiping down the counters.
After a few swipes, he looked back over at me from over his shoulder, and replied, “Well, that sucks, Jimmy. A little advice, my man? Find some way to explain things to her before it's too late. You know how chicks get about that stuff.”
He turned his head back around and kept wiping. I stared at the floor, letting his words sink in. I knew he was right, but I didn’t know how to go to her without putting her on Davis’ radar. I didn’t want to explain any of this to her. She would be disappointed in me and may even consider not giving us a shot if she knew that I had taken up a job for the Brass. No, I just needed to let the dust settle and trust that Ramsey would still be there when it was all done.
That night, I had turned down the two MC idiots and their offer to “go out.”
Bored, they abandoned me, and went somewhere else while I stayed home. At least, I hoped that's what they did. I had no idea where they stayed or went; that was a part of the “watching me,” game they played. Sometimes they would disappear, and I wouldn’t see them for an entire day, other times they would show up in front of my house at five in the morning, acting like they had been there all night, sending the very clear and direct message that they’re always watching me. Which explained my near heart attack when Ramsey came by that night.
I had a security camera set up to go off if my perimeter was breached. I was on my laptop in bed, trying to stay distracted with work, when the footage came up and I saw her hooded body walking up to my front door. My heart was in my throat in an instant.
I grabbed the computer and rushed downstairs, trying not to make a sound. Thankfully, the computer screen was dark and wasn’t giving off any glow. She was so close to me. All I had to do was open the door, pull her inside, hug her and kiss her, and explain why I had been so distant.
At this point, my anger over the whole lie was completely gone. I just missed the hell out of her and wanted her back in my life. I didn’t open the door, though. It killed me, and when I heard her try to use her key, I actually started choking up. I knew how confused she would be, and how much it would devastate her. I had to do it, though, and I just needed a moment to explain myself, but right then, Jones or Adams might be watching, and it would be a lot easier to explain away a tweaker on meth, than it would explaining the woman I loved, coming in at midnight. No, she'd be leverage delivered to them on a silver platter. God knows what they might do to her.
So, I stood there, with my back against the door, shattering and breaking, while the woman that I was in love with walked away, heartbroken and hurt. I slid down to the floor, fighting tears, fighting anger, and rage; all the emotions rolling through me were so intense. I was terrified of losing Ramsey, but I couldn't bear to have her mixed up in this shit. I kept sitting against the door, on the floor, until I fell asleep. All the while, praying that Ramsey would understand, and that I would get the chance to explain everything.
The next morning, I woke up to someone’s silhouette blocking the sun
. I heard a loud, “Get up, son.”
“What’s going on, Dad?” Confusion tainted my words and probably my face. It had to be early, and he never woke up before ten after a late shift.
“What’s going on is my son fell asleep in front of the door, like a damn dog. What in the hell is going on with you?”
I still hadn’t come clean with him. Dad just thought I was avoiding Ramsey because of the lie she told about Sip N Sides. He didn't know that I was working with the MC again. I started to stand up, slowly, feeling every awkward moment from the night before in my muscles and joints.
“Sorry, Dad. There was someone on our property last night, and I was trying to make sure they left. I must've fallen asleep while I was waiting.”
He looked down at me with his weathered face, in his checkered pajama pants, and sighed.
“Who was it? Did they try to break in?” he asked, alarmed. Shit.
“No, just some teenagers walking, but one of them walked in our grass by the curb, so it tripped the alarm,” I explained while keeping a straight face, so he wouldn't sense my lie. He waited a second, watching me with a curious look on his face. His eyes drilled into me until he finally gave up and turned away while yelling over his shoulder. “Make your kids breakfast, and son, I think you should get out of the house tonight, go do something with your friends. You need some fresh perspective.”
I stood, trying to rub circles into my back and ease out the discomfort. “Okay,” was all I could manage as a reply. I didn’t want to leave, but I was just going crazy by staying home and doing weird things, like sleeping in front of the door because it was the closest thing that Ramsey had been near.
I decided that I would take the two idiots out, and away from Belvidere, away from Ramsey, and get some of that fresh perspective.
