by Sarah Price
Samuel groaned. “Ach no! I’ve been trapped!” He leaned down and began to tickle Jacob’s belly. The little boy giggled and twisted his body, trying to get away from Samuel. “See what you’ve done!”
“Jacob! Come get cleaned up and help me with the meal,” Katie said, laughing with her sons. Jacob groaned and sank to the floor in a heap. “Come on, young man! You can help your Mammi Katie!”
Reluctantly, the young boy scraped himself up from the ground. David and Samuel laughed at his theatrics but let him mope over to Katie, half-heartedly helping her with her chores. They were thankful for the break in entertaining him, despite Samuel’s dread of the conversation that he knew would follow.
“Brother, come with me tonight,” David said as he sat down on the chair beside Samuel.
“Nee,” Samuel said, shaking his head. “You know I’m not into those gatherings.”
Katie kept Jacob busy, even though she was leaning toward the table so that she could hear the conversation. She was too aware that her youngest son seemed to avoid any type of Amish youth gathering. It was a concern to her. David was clearly walking the path of the Amish while Samuel was creating great concern for the family. After having almost lost Emanuel and Sylvia to the world of the Englischers, she was not about to lose Samuel.
“You know how I feel,” Samuel whispered. “My interest lies elsewhere.”
David rolled his eyes. “Those three Mennonite fellows are no gut, Samuel.”
Samuel frowned, his eyes narrowing as a dark look crossed his face. “I don’t know what you are talking about, brother.”
“Ja vell, you think you’re fooling everyone, but you ain’t,” David sighed. “Besides, it’s time for you to start socializing more with our own, Samuel. You’re spending too much time outside the fold.” David glanced at his mamm and winked. “Besides, I hear that Mary Ruth is going to be there.”
Samuel straightened his back and raised an eyebrow. That certainly caught his attention. “Mary Ruth Smucker?”
“Ja!”
“As in our neighbor, Mary Ruth? At one of your friend’s gatherings?” he said, emphasizing the word “your”.
“It’s harmless and you know it.” David leaned forward and lowered his voice so Katie couldn’t hear. They both knew that she had the best hearing ability in the county when it came to conversations that weren’t meant to be overheard. “Music and all is OK if you haven’t taken the kneeling vow.”
Samuel smiled mischievously. “And I sure bet that she’s going to take it soon…like you?”
“Mayhaps but,” David replied. “We haven’t taken it yet so we can still listen to the music.”
Samuel snorted. “I’m not intending to take it for a long time…if ever.” He ignored the hurt look that crossed his mother’s face as she glanced over at him. But she had given up on talking to him about the baptism. After all, he argued, his rumschpringe was his right and, until he took that vow, there was naught that the community or church could do about it. But standing around and listening to music near an empty schoolyard was not his idea of a wild rumschpringe. Nor did it sound remotely exciting. “No interest in going, David.”
David laid his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Wouldn’t hurt you to come by, see the fellows, and put a sparkle in that Mary Ruth’s eye. It’ll be the highlight of her week, for sure and certain.”
With a big sigh, Samuel nodded. “Alright, alright,” he relented, forcing himself to look inconvenienced. Truth was that he hadn’t seen much of Mary Ruth outside of the church services recently and he was interested in having a private word with her. “I’ll go tonight. But not because Mary Ruth is going to be there,” he stated, trying his best to sound convincing.
“Of course not,” David said with a solemn expression. “Not because of Mary Ruth.” But the twinkle in his brother’s eye told Samuel that he didn’t believe him.
Samuel stared at his brother, casting a stern look at him as though warning him against matchmaking. He wished he could tell his brother that he was happy enjoying his rumschpringe and certainly didn’t need a proper Amish girl to tell him how to behave or hold him back. Mary Ruth would be sure and certain to do such a thing. True, she had grown so much in the past few years, changing from the neighbor girl into a pretty little Amish doll. Her blond hair was different than most of the dark haired girls and he sure did notice her sparkling blue eyes. But Samuel was not the settling down type.
“Not because of Mary Ruth at all,” he mumbled and, ignoring the chuckles from his nephew, brother, and mother, reached for the paper.
Chapter Two
The lights from the buggies lit up the empty field. Samuel leaned back against his brother’s buggy, his hat tipped down over his head despite the fact that the sun was down. He didn’t want to be there. If anything, he’d rather be at the Maple Grove Racetrack in Reading, PA. He loved watching the car races, loved the energy from the crowd and the loud noises. It was so foreign to his insulated world of farming and horses and church. Unfortunately, Samuel knew that the cars weren’t racing tonight and his brother, David, had tricked him into attending the gathering at the end of Hess Road near the schoolhouse.
One of the boys had produced a music box attached to an iPod and was playing loud hip-hop music. Samuel thought he recognized the lyrics of Viper, a popular singer for the Englischers and one that he knew from the racetracks. The words were hard to understand, especially since the singer had a thick Latino accent and sang in both English and Spanish. But the beat made him want to tap his toes, despite not knowing how to dance.
“Samuel Lapp! I don’t believe it!”
Samuel sighed and glanced over at the young man who approached him. “John Bucher,” he said with a smile. A good friend when Samuel was growing up, John was certainly not one to be associated with such gatherings that were more worldly in nature. “What brings you here?”
John laughed and clapped Samuel on the back. “That young gal, Millie Ann. She said she’d be here.” He glanced around at the small clusters of Amish youth as though looking for her. It was clear that he didn’t spot her in the crowd. “But I don’t see that she got away from her mamm’s eagle eyes.”
“Bound to happen with the good ones,” Samuel said, his eyes skimming the crowd. While it was true that these youth were in their rumschpringe and gathering to talk while listening to music was harmless, many of the parents would certainly hold their daughters close to the farm. They viewed the gatherings as dangerous since there was no one to chaperone. And everyone knew that a woman’s reputation once tarnished was hard to ever get clean. It was no wonder that Millie Ann hadn’t shown up, especially if her mamm had caught wind of the event.
“Ja, vell…” John remarked, letting the conversation fade between them.
“You’ll see her on Sunday, anyway,” Samuel added. He laid a hand on his friend’s shoulder in a friendly, good-natured manner. “And her mamm will let her go to the singing, for sure and certain.”
Before John could answer, a voice called out “Samuel!” Both Samuel and John turned their heads at the same time when they heard the voice that called out Samuel’s name. A young woman dressed in a pink dress with white prayer kapp emerged out of the shadows, bouncing over toward them. The battery-operated lights from the buggies cast a soft glow on her path, illuminating her way. She was a pretty girl with high cheekbones and soft pouted lips. Her bright eyes, a light shade of blue, seemed to take in everything around her. Now, as she approached Samuel and John, she smiled and it lit up her face.
But Samuel maintained his stoic stance. He straightened his back and stood taller. “Mary Ruth,” he said coolly.
“I see your girl had no problem escaping from her mamm’s clutches,” John chuckled under his breath.
“Ain’t my girl,” Samuel retorted, his voice lowered so that Mary Ruth wouldn’t hear as she approached. “No time for courting, John Bucher. Not this fellow.” But John didn’t look convinced. He just smiled and quietly moved
away, letting the two of them have some rare privacy.
“I can’t believe you are here!” Mary Ruth said, trying to contain her enthusiasm. She stood before Samuel, a smile on her face and her hands behind her back. She seemed to rock back and forth on her feet, her exuberance too hard to hide. “You never come out to the youth gatherings!”
“Ja, David dragged me,” Samuel said, glancing over her head to see if he was being watched by the others. It wouldn’t do any good to have tongues wagging, despite the fact that his heart pounded just a little harder when she was standing next to him. She was such a lively young girl, so unlike many of the Amish women who tended to be quiet and shy, withdrawn into their common world of quilting frolics and canning bees.
Mary Ruth’s family had grown up in the same gmay as the Lapp family, attending school and church together. In truth, she had been more like a little sister when they were younger. Now, however, was a different story. Even during their younger years, Samuel had felt protective of Mary Ruth. Her quick smile and pure heart had always been one of the reasons he made certain no one had bothered her at school or after church service. And, in return, she had always seemed to stick up for him.
Now, he did his best to maintain his composure and seem aloof. She was at the age of settling down and Samuel knew that he was a long way from such decisions. He wanted to explore the world before he considered the lifelong ramifications of joining the church and taking on the responsibility of a wife and family. So, despite the way his heart raced, he didn’t want to lead Mary Ruth into thinking that he was interested in her.
“Heard you were coming but I didn’t believe David when he said it,” she gushed, her blue eyes sparkling. Those eyes, so light in color, reflected even in the shadowy darkness. “You’ve been so reclusive! You never seem to have much time for social time. In fact, I haven’t seen you in ages, outside of church Sundays.”
He leaned back against the buggy, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes skimmed the crowd, trying to avoid eye contact with Mary Ruth. “Been busy.”
“So I heard.”
Her comment surprised him and he turned to look at her. He was taken with how pretty she looked in the glow from the buggies’ lights. He also hadn’t realized that he was so much taller than her. Yet, she was willowy thin so she didn’t appear short. Except now, as she stood before him, he realized that he towered over her. Despite having known her for years and having grown up on the farms next to each other, he knew that he didn’t really know her at all.
Oh, he knew that she had always been one to say a kind word to him, even when others frowned at his behavior. He was always aware that she was the first to stick up for him in the schoolyard and among their peers. And over the years, there had been quite a few times when Samuel had found himself on the far end of the favorite stick for many people, both at school and church. But tried and true, there was Mary Ruth, the first to smile at him when others would have just as soon turned their backs but couldn’t.
Yes, Samuel thought, Mary Ruth had grown from a sweet child into a sweet young woman, indeed. Sweet and pretty young woman, he corrected himself quickly as he stared at her. But he also knew that she was Amish, through and through, despite being at such a “wild” rumschpringe gathering with Englischer music and no chaperones.
Snapping out of his quick whirlwind of thoughts, he looked away again. The crowds were still mostly separated by the sexes, the men in one area and the young women in another. Some of the women were swaying in time to the music, the closest they dared to get to dancing. Samuel thought he saw a group of young men smoking cigarettes in the distance but couldn’t be certain. Wild rumschpringe, he thought. Indeed.
“What brings you here anyway?” Samuel asked, nonchalantly. “Your mamm must surely object.”
Mary Ruth laughed, glancing over her shoulder at her group of friends. They were watching Mary Ruth’s exchange with Samuel with great interest. “Simon brought me so she didn’t say much. Besides, it’s something to do, I reckon,” she explained, looking back at Samuel. He could see her eyes sparkling in the dim light from the buggies. “I like the music and, after all, it’s our time to explore a bit, ja?”
Samuel spared her a rare smile. He couldn’t imagine Mary Ruth exploring the world of the Englische. Not with the fast pace of life, the noises, the people. The little that Samuel had explored had shown him the truth about the non-Amish world that surrounded their communities. There were unstructured pleasures out there, pleasures in food and activities and culture. But there was also unstructured evil and temptation that lingered around every corner.
He knew that he had only touched on the tip of it and there was so much more to explore. But he had mixed feelings about it. There was an element of danger to the exploration. He never knew what would happen next. On the other hand, he often worried about how far he was crossing the line. Would it ever get to the point of no return and, if so, would he be able to live with that? Yet, he also knew that the alternative was to stay exactly where he was, listening to music on a cheap, battery-operated radio in the dark of an empty schoolyard. And that was a little less exploration than he wanted, for sure and certain.
But for Mary Ruth? No, he thought. Exploring for Mary Ruth needed to be confined to exactly what she was doing…meeting in that dark schoolyard to talk with her friends and listen to music from that cheap radio until she was ready to join the church and settle down. Exploring much more beyond those perimeters would ruin the very essence of what it meant to be Mary Ruth Smucker: Innocence. After all, when he really thought about it, the more time Samuel spent with his other friends, the more he was quickly finding himself bored with Amish ways.
“Don’t explore too much, Mary Ruth,” he said wistfully.
“Funny you say that, being that you are here, too,” she said. As she did so, she raised an eyebrow and tilted her head, looking at him from beneath long lashes. He felt as though she was staring right through him and reading his thoughts. It made him feel uncomfortable, especially when she continued, “Besides, it sure seems you are quite the explorer these days, too!”
His smile faded. She was right. After all, he was usually away from his Amish friends, watching the fast cars at the racetrack with his Mennonite and Englischer friends. But how had she known? Could Mary Ruth have heard about his time among the Englische? It wasn’t that he was ashamed of it but he wasn’t aware that the community knew. “I have no idea what you mean,” he said casually, not certain why he was denying it.
Mary Ruth leaned forward and lowered her voice to a soft, musical whisper. “You know your secret’s safe with me.” He could feel her warm, sweet breath on his cheek and it sent a shiver up his spine. He looked at her, scarcely able to hear her as she added, “I would never tell.” Then, with a quick smile and a wave of her hand, she disappeared into the darkness to return to her small group of friends.
For the next hour, Samuel stayed on the periphery, watching the groups interact. Just as before, for the most part, the Amish women stayed to one side and the Amish men stayed to another. Yet there was an element of something heavy hanging in the air. Samuel didn’t have to ask what it was. He knew. It was the unspoken element of courtship. The youth gathering wasn’t about rebelling against the church or doing forbidden things like listening to music. It was about being out there and meeting someone, getting to know them outside of the careful eyes of a chaperone.
To be truthful, Samuel never had understood the courtship routine of the Amish, despite having been surrounded by it for his entire life. For years, he had watched his older brothers as they secretly courted their future wives. It was never a big surprise when the announcement came so Samuel wondered why they bothered to sneak around so much.
In fact, he often had wondered why everything was kept such a big secret. He knew that Amish people didn’t ask questions about courtship. It was always such a private matter. And why, he often asked, did courtship presume marriage? He much preferred the Englischer way o
f friendship and dating before settling into a future-promised courtship. Besides, the Amish way hindered the couple from really getting to know each other and that was something that had always bewildered Samuel. A few buggy rides home from church singings, a walk or two on a Sunday afternoon, and maybe a few secret moments stolen under the hint of a setting sun where people couldn’t see. That was courtship. That was the basis for forever. The veil of secrecy meant more than actually spending time together and really getting to know one another.
Yet, despite their feigned acts of secrecy, it was easy to see who was courting. In the beginning, there would be a stolen glance, a shy smile, perhaps a blush across the girl’s cheeks. Then, she might serve him lemonade at fellowship before any of the other men. Finally, as the relationship progressed, from time to time, they’d sneak away from their respective groups to steal a few minutes of quiet conversation. Even when they stole away into the darkness, Samuel knew that none of these youths had anything to worry about their reputations. Most of them wouldn’t even chance a wayward kiss in the darkness.
Samuel sighed, wondering why he had bothered to come with David. During the nice spring nights, some of the younger folks liked to get together and spend time outside of the regular social gatherings such as the traditional Sunday singings that followed the church services every other week. It was harmless, that was true enough. While their parents might frown on the loud rock music or the youth being without any adult chaperones, everyone was respectful of each other and their rumschpringe; and that was boring to Samuel.
