by Sarah Price
“He’s taking his rumschpringe further than most, ja?”
Stephen frowned. “Running free is one thing but, I ran into his brother David at the supply store and he said that Samuel’s hardly ever at home at night.” It was a known fact that Stephen was preparing to take his baptism classes during the upcoming summer months in preparation for his kneeling vow in the fall. The eldest of the four remaining children living at the Smucker’s home, Stephen was always quick to set an example for his other siblings. After all, it was certain that he had his eye on a particular young woman and would be announcing his own marriage soon enough.
Simon spread some butter on his toast. “I must say that he works hard enough during the day at the shop but he sure does seem to like those fellows from Miller Lane. Spends a lot of time with them, I hear. ”
“Bad news, that crowd,” Stephen added.
Her mamm sighed, listening to the story with a somber expression on her face. “I heard from Susan Weaver that the Mennonites are besides themselves with those boys. Buying fast cars, staying out late at night.”
Shaking his head, Mary Ruth’s daed chimed in. “Seems their church leaders don’t know what to do with them, either. I heard Bishop Peachey talking about it with Whitey and Eli Stoltzfus.”
Miriam’s eyes looked sorrowful and Mary Ruth knew that she felt the pain for Katie and Jonas. If one child went wild, it certainly reflected poorly on the entire family and that was bad news for the Lapps. “Seems that boy has just fallen into a crowd that’s simply no gut,” her mamm said. “His poor mamm, Katie, must be at her wit’s end.”
“Everyone sure is putting an awful lot of importance in stories,” Mary Ruth said quietly.
The room fell silent and all eyes fell upon her. It was unlike Mary Ruth to speak up during the meal and especially about so controversial a topic. She felt a flush of warmth spread across her face as the color rose to her cheeks because of their attention. Her daed narrowed his eyes and stared at his youngest child. “How so, Daughter?”
“The Bible teaches us to help one another and to turn a deaf ear to gossip,” she said meekly. “Unless Simon was there that night, we can’t be sure that Samuel was with those Mennonites, can we? And it sure seems that Samuel isn’t saying it’s true. Seems to be gossip, that’s all.” She hesitated, trying to think of the right words to say but quickly realizing that she probably shouldn’t have said anything at all.
“You know I wasn’t there, Mary Ruth! You shouldn’t suggest such things,” Simon said quickly.
Mary Ruth raised an eyebrow and looked at him. “And I’m surprised at you, Simon. Didn’t Samuel give me a ride home as a favor to you the other night after the singing? At your request?”
Simon narrowed his eyes at his sister. “Ja, I asked him, to take you home. But don’t think I didn’t talk to him first. Didn’t want him dragging you over to Miller Lane!”
“He would never do such a thing!” she gasped. “He’s nothing but respectful with me and you know that, Simon!”
“One can’t be too sure,” her brother mumbled.
“Where there is smoke…” her mamm started.
“There’s fire,” her daed finished. He pointed his finger at Mary Ruth. “Don’t be getting any thoughts of sweetness for that one, Mary Ruth. That family has been riddled with problems for the past few years. You know that as well as I do.”
“Daed,” she pleaded.
But her father held up his hand, stopping her before she could say too much. “That Samuel will be having the bishop knocking at their door soon enough and I don’t need our family name associated with such discussion.”
“They’ve been naught but wunderbaar gut to our family,” Mary Ruth said meekly. “Doesn’t the Ausbund teach us to love our neighbor as ourselves in both joy and affliction?”
“And I’ll not be having you talk back,” her daed said sharply. “Katie Lapp is a right gut woman but her children seem to stray toward walking crooked on the path. They seem drawn to worldliness. I won’t have my daughter involved or associated with such a boy.”
Her mother nodded her head in agreement. “A reputation soiled will never be clean.”
Mary Ruth hung her head, her appetite vanished and her heart pounding inside of her chest. If only there was some indication that she had reason to hope that, mayhaps, Samuel Lapp might have a serious interest in her, she would defend him. But he was too independent and rebellious to be taken seriously, even in those moments of intimacy, when he shared a kind word or caressed her hand.
For the rest of the meal, Mary Ruth remained quiet, too aware that her sister Leah and brother Simon were watching her. She didn’t need their concern, she thought to herself. She knew what she was doing. And she knew that Samuel Lapp was not walking a crooked path…at least not one that was so far removed from the way of the People. He would be redeemed and take that kneeling vow. And, Mary Ruth hoped, she would be beside him shortly afterward.
“Don’t you fret none about Mamm and Daed,” Leah whispered to her while they were washing dishes after the meal. “But you might want to use caution.”
Mary Ruth raised an eyebrow. Her older sister had always been more serious and cautious than Mary Ruth. She had learned to question Leah when she made such statements. “What do you mean, Leah?”
“Caution with that Lapp boy,” Leah said. However, when she saw that Mary Ruth’s face fell, becoming serious and drawn, her sister tossed some sudsy water at her. “I know the talk is poor about Samuel and we all know you mean well.”
Mary Ruth glanced over her shoulder. Her father was talking with her mother near the kitchen door. He held his tattered straw hat in his hand. Clearly, he was getting ready to leave for the day, ready to cut some hay in the backfields. Mary Ruth knew that the others couldn’t overhear the conversation she was having with Leah. “I mean well?” Mary Ruth repeated. She wasn’t about to ignore the opportunity to find out what her sister meant by that statement.
“Your heart, Mary Ruth,” Leah replied, her voice low so that their conversation would remain private. “You like to take care of those in need. Samuel Lapp has been your special project for years, ja? Always defending him, always supporting him. Mayhaps, however, it would be good to start looking at some of the other young men, don’t you think? Sure would cause less talk among the folk.”
There was a long moment of silence. Mary Ruth wasn’t certain how to respond. Courting among the Amish was typically kept private and, truth be told, Mary Ruth didn’t want to engage in any conversation dealing with Samuel Lapp. But, as she had for years, she always felt the need to defend him. “Don’t see why people should be talking,” she said softly. “I’m not courting him, not that it’s anyone’s concern.”
“Gut,” her sister added. “Glad to hear that, sister. Remember what mamm said about a woman’s reputation.”
Mary Ruth didn’t reply. For a young Amish woman, the one thing that needed protecting over all else was her reputation. No Amish man would marry someone with a questionable past, not that this was something Mary Ruth feared. After all, she was naught but God fearing and community loving. She had never given anyone reason to question her virtue or honor.
Without another word to her sister, Mary Ruth bent her head to the task of finishing her part of cleaning the kitchen. Her sister’s words echoed in her mind. It hurt her feelings that her sister would hint about Mary Ruth’s reputation, Mary Ruth who was always the first to take care of others, putting everyone else’s needs before her own. A bad reputation was more than just ideal talk, Mary Ruth told herself. It usually meant something bad had actually happened. Certainly her sister wasn’t accusing her of poor behavior, Mary Ruth thought.
Yes, she was annoyed at Leah for even suggesting something so mean to her. Even worse, she was increasingly mad at herself for caring what Leah or anyone else actually thought about her.
Chapter Seven
Samuel narrowed his eyes against the sharp glare of the sun. He saw the willowy figure of an Am
ish woman walking down the road, a basket in her hand. She wore a light green dress with a black half-apron covering the front of her skirt. There was something very determined about the woman and Samuel found himself watching, amused. She was clearly on an important mission, the basket swinging by her side as she walked.
He leaned on the pitchfork in his hand and tilted his head backward, his hat shielding his eyes from the sun. As she came closer, he began to make out her features. A bouncy step, a smile on her face…Mary Ruth Smucker. He glanced around the barnyard to see if his brothers were nearby. To his surprise, Junior and David were not within his line of vision so Samuel set the pitchfork to the side and wiped his dirty hands on his black pants. He walked toward the edge of the mule paddock.
At the edge of the property, he leaned against the fence and waited, watching her walk down the road. Clearly, she hadn’t noticed him yet. So, he enjoyed the anonymity of no one being aware that he was staring at this young girl walking down the road, admiring her beauty and zest for life.
He had known Mary Ruth for his entire life. Thinking back upon his childhood, he was unable to remember one moment that didn’t include her. Church services, playing in the school yard, skating on the small pond, sleigh-riding down the back hill, and tending the crops alongside their fathers. All of those memories evoked images of Mary Ruth and her family. Indeed, Samuel thought, she is more like family than some of my own cousins and siblings.
But, more importantly, was the fact that Mary Ruth had always been the one who stuck up for him. He smiled as he leaned against the fence post, watching her, as he remembered the time that he had accidentally tripped one of the girls at school. It had been Mary Ruth who had defended him. Even at such a young age, Mary Ruth had been his staunch defender.
That day had been the beginning of a lot of problems for Samuel. He was just eleven, maybe twelve. The children were playing outside at mid-morning break. Some of the older boys were keeping the ball away from Samuel, teasing him so that they could see him get angry. And indeed he did. He had turned away from the boys, ready to stomp off to play his own game. Who needed them anyway, he had thought to himself.
When he had turned to run off, the laughter of the older boys still ringing in his ears, he hadn’t seen Katie Stoltzfus behind him and he had bumped into her, knocking her down to the ground. She had hit her nose and it bled. Boy did it bleed! Samuel had stood there, shocked at the amount of blood that could come from someone’s nose. He was so shocked, he didn’t even reach down to help her back to her feet.
Everyone had been so angry with him, several stating that he did this on purpose. In hindsight, Samuel often felt that it was as if the other boys had been looking for a reason to make him an outcast. But, that was there and then when Mary Ruth came to his defense. She had been the only one who stood by his side, claiming that it was surely an accident. The others had scowled at him, shunning him in the way that only children can do. But Mary Ruth maintained his innocence. She had even sat next to him at noon, sharing her dinner while the others stayed far away, pointing at him or talking about him behind his back. Samuel wasn’t proud of the fact that others thought he had tried to hurt another person intentionally. That certainly spoke a lot about what they thought of his character. But he sure had been pleased that Mary Ruth had believed in him.
Now, as he watched her walking down the road, he could only blink away the memory and smile to himself. Mary Ruth Smucker, he thought. The only girl who would have interested him…if only he was interested in settling down.
He waited until she was almost beside him until he poked his head out from the shadows. “Mary Ruth!” he called out, deliberately startling her.
Indeed, she jumped at the sound of his voice, clearly frightened by his sudden appearance. Her hand fluttered to her chest and, when she recognized him, a wide smile broke onto her face. “Samuel Lapp! You scared me!”
He shrugged his shoulders casually. “Didn’t mean to,” he said softly, his head tipped forward and his eyes shielded by the shadow of his hat’s rim. He knew it was a white lie but he couldn’t help himself. She was so pretty when she was flustered, her pale white hand against the front of her green dress and the color flooding to her face.
The brisk pace of her walk was broken and she wandered over to the fence. Setting the basket on the ground, she looked up at Samuel, her dark eyes bright and lively. “Well, you sure could have called out before now, ja? No need to frighten me half to death,” she teased. The laugh that escaped her lips was soft and gentle, not holding anything against him. Typical Mary Ruth, he thought.
“Now, what fun would that be?” he said, a smile crossing his face. “Do you know that you blush when you’re scared? Your cheeks turn pink and your eyes glow.”
“Aw, Samuel!” she teased. “You like scaring people walking down the road? Just to see my cheeks turn red?” She lowered her voice and leaned forward. “That’s scandalous, for sure and certain.”
“Scandalous,” he said, repeating the word. He liked the way that it sounded when she said it. Indeed, everything about Samuel seemed to be scandalous these days. But, as usual, it didn’t seem to bother Mary Ruth. Just as it didn’t bother her when he reached out to brush a piece of hay from her shoulder. Sure, he noticed that her eyes glanced at his hand when he made the motion. But she didn’t seem to mind the intimate touch. “And where, exactly, are you walking to, Mary Ruth, that you didn’t notice me standing here?”
Too aware of his overpowering presence, she took a step backward and glanced down the road. “Whitey’s wife has taken ill, you know,” she began to explain. “Mamm asked me to bring her some soup and fresh bread.”
“Amish recipe for good health, ja?”
Mary Ruth shrugged her shoulders but didn’t respond. She felt strange under the strength of his gaze. He was staring at her and it wasn’t in his usual way. There was something alarmingly close about the way he looked at her. Deciding to change the subject, she looked around the farm behind his back. “You helping with the chores instead of working at the carpentry shop today?”
He took a deep breath and looked up toward the sky. “Not working in the shop today, no.”
“Why?”
He rolled his eyes back down to meet hers. For a long moment, he held her gaze and said nothing. There was a connection, that was for sure and certain. Since the ride home the other week, he had done nothing but think of Mary Ruth and his declaration that he didn’t want to court anyone. That was, indeed, true. He kept telling himself that. But the fact was that Mary Ruth was not just anyone. She was much more than that. She was the one. Only Samuel was too aware that the timing was off. “I was out late last night and Junior told me to not work today.”
A gasp escaped from her throat. “Oh Samuel!” The sparkle faded from her eyes. Unlike other people, she didn’t look disappointed in him but concerned. Unlike other people, Mary Ruth was always concerned when it came to Samuel. “Again?”
He shrugged, trying to act nonchalant about it. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll just help my daed today, listen to some grumbling tonight, and be back at the shop tomorrow.”
Mary Ruth shook her head, her smile gone and the sparkle vanished from her eyes. “Seem to be a lot of grumbling where you’re concerned these days,” she said softly, averting his eyes. “Might not be as exciting as your new Mennonite friends but mayhaps you should stick closer to your own people, Samuel.”
“Not you, too,” he said sharply. He noticed that she flinched and he was immediately sorry that he had raised his voice to her. “I’m sorry, Mary Ruth. I didn’t mean to speak harshly. I’m just tired of everyone sharing their opinion with me. It’s not as though I’ve taken the kneeling vow and I am not going to apologize for enjoying my running around time!”
“If you enjoy it too much, it might be hard to return to the fold,” she said, forcing herself to lift her eyes and meet his gaze. “Women aren’t the only ones who can have their reputations soiled beyond repair, Samue
l.”
“Aren’t you ever curious, Mary Ruth?” He leaned forward again. His eyes seemed to sparkle as he looked at her. “Don’t you ever want to see what it’s like out there? To drive in cars, the window rolled down as you fly down the highway? Or go do some of the things that Englischers get to enjoy like movies or concerts?”
“No,” she said, her voice firm and flat.
He stood up straight, surprised by her quick response, spoken with such conviction. “Just like that? No?”
She lifted her chin defiantly. “There’s nothing out there that interests me, Samuel. For there is nothing worth losing my faith, my family, and my future among my community.”
He laughed at her. “Spoken from the girl who was tapping her toe to that loud hip-hop Viper music the other night!”
Mary Ruth tilted her chin. “You won’t be seeing me at those gatherings anymore, Samuel. I recognized the worldliness in that music and made a promise to God that I would focus more on His word and not Englischer music.” He stared at her, his eyebrows raised as he listened to her. “I made that promise to Him after listening to the sermon on Sunday.”
