by Sarah Price
Samuel spoke up. “I’ll help build it, brother.”
Junior looked at him. For a long moment, he studied his brother. His offer to help was genuine so Junior nodded his head in appreciation. “Danke, Samuel.”
“But the main house?” Samuel asked.
Daniel cleared his throat. “Sure would be nice if Rachel had herself a proper house, now that we have the kinners.”
Everyone nodded in agreement. And so it was decided. The cycle of life continued on the Lapp farm. Junior and his family would move out, Daniel and his family would move in. The apartment over the mule shed would be empty once again.
It was close to seven when the gathering started to break up. The women had kinners to put to bed and the men started to put away the table and chairs that they had been sitting on as the sun started to set over the hill behind the house. Samuel excused himself and hurried into the house to change his clothes in time for the singing; and, when he pulled out the courting buggy to hitch to his horse, he was too aware that the men stopped working and stared.
But when he went to the singing, Mary Ruth wasn’t there. He held his hat in his hand, waiting for her to arrive but she didn’t. Neither was Simon Smucker or Leah Smucker. He waited for an hour, too aware of the eyes that watched him and the whispers that spoke of him. He could ignore those easily enough. But it was the fact that Mary Ruth hadn’t shown up and he had to drive home alone in the courting buggy that disappointed him the most.
It was dark when he returned to the farm. Yet, there was a glow from a light in the horse barn. He found his brother, David, unharnessing his own horse by the light of a battery-operated lantern.
“Wie gehts?” Samuel asked. “You weren’t at the singing?”
“Were you?” David asked, the surprise quite apparent in his voice.
“Ja,” Samuel said. “But Mary Ruth wasn’t there.”
David nodded. “Nee, she wasn’t. Her family had relatives over tonight.”
Samuel looked up. “But no singing tonight?”
David shrugged. “Can’t speak for the Smuckers but I reckon that she got tied up and her brother was too busy to take her.” Noticing the defeated look on his younger brother’s face, David walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I wouldn’t take it personally, Samuel. She may have her own issues going on that you just don’t know about.”
But they both knew what David was insinuating. If Simon wouldn’t have taken Mary Ruth, she couldn’t have gone to the singing; and, if the family was concerned about Mary Ruth’s friendship with Samuel, there was no doubt that Simon might have decided against attending the singing at all. To his disappointment, it was clear that the Smucker family was not happy about the recent happenings at the Lapp farm and they were trying to keep Mary Ruth away from Samuel.
He hung his head, his hand lingering on the side of his horse’s neck as he turned to leave the barn. He didn’t hear David bid him goodnight as he walked toward the house, his heart sinking in his chest for the lost opportunity that he figured had just passed him by. Decisions, he thought. The wrong ones could destroy lives and he realized that he might have made some of too strong a magnitude to be remedied.
Chapter Nineteen
Mary Ruth had used her scooter to travel the road down to the Lapp farm. It was pale blue with a basket in the front. Holding the handlebars, she used one foot to push it along the road. It glided easily on the pavement and the cool breeze felt good against her face. Even though it was early in the morning, the sun was warm already, promising to bless them with a hot summer day with plenty of sunshine needed for the growing crops.
There had been quite a row in the house when Mary Ruth insisted that she’d take some baked goods over to Lillian. She had been surprised that she had won the argument that the Lapp family had little to do with Samuel’s predicament. After all, Lillian was pregnant with twins and the family still needed her help. Mary Ruth had stood her ground to respectfully argue that a promise was a promise. Hadn’t she promised to help Lillian with the kinners while she was pregnant?
She had known that the family’s main objection was specifically related to Samuel. Her father didn’t want her to spend time on the Lapp farm where it was likely that she would run into Samuel. But even Simon had jumped to Mary Ruth’s defense when he stated the obvious.
“Samuel will be at the carpentry shop, Daed,” Simon had said. When he glanced at his sister, she had to fight the tears in her eyes. His compassion and willingness to stand up to their father was overwhelming to her. “I’ll make certain that Mary Ruth arrives and leaves with me.”
Miriam had also stuck up for Mary Ruth, a rare act of defiance against her husband when she added, “And we all must support the Lapp family, Amos. They need us more than ever, ja?” When Amos had hesitated, Miriam had added, “The bishop would want it that way.” That solved the issue for once and for all.
So, on the beautiful summer day that was before her, Mary Ruth hurried herself along the road, one push of her foot at a time. Each push brought her closer to the Lapp farm and further into a cloud of confusion. On the one hand, she hoped that she wouldn’t see Samuel. She didn’t want to openly defy her father’s wishes that she not speak to him. Yet, on the other hand, she respected the fact that she had committed to court him, even though she had no idea what had truly happened on that horrible night in Philadelphia.
Lillian was resting on the sofa when Mary Ruth came into the house. She set her basket on the counter and smiled at Lillian. “Feeling poorly, ja?”
“So tired,” Lillian whispered. “It’s just a feeling of complete weariness.”
Mary Ruth laughed, the sound light and airy in the house full of heaviness. “It won’t last forever; and, for today, I’ll watch the kinners so you can rest, ja?”
Lillian forced a smile. “Linda, Jacob, and Lena are over at Sylvia’s,” she said. “And Rachel has Abram and Anna. The baby is napping upstairs.” Then, shutting her eyes, Lillian seemed to drift to sleep but managed to whisper, “I’m so glad you’re here, Mary Ruth.”
For the next hour, Mary Ruth quietly straightened up the kitchen and upstairs. She gathered the soiled clothing to wash while Lillian rested. It was clear that no one had been certain whether or not Mary Ruth would show up to help. After all, she hadn’t been there the week before and, with the community in an uproar over the accident and Samuel’s involvement, no one blamed Amos and Miriam Smucker if they had decided that Mary Ruth should stay home and not help Lillian during this time of family trouble.
By dinnertime, Mary Ruth had the house in complete order, laundry was hanging outside to dry, and a meal was waiting on the table. She even had time to play with baby James, taking him outside for a walk up the lane so that he could get some fresh air. He had clutched at her fingers, his one-year old legs stumbling as he tried to walk on his own. She had laughed when he fell down on the grass and refused to get up, lifting up his arms for her to carry him. It had been a busy morning indeed.
She knew that Junior would come home to check on his wife and to share the noon meal with his family. Mary Ruth was happy that the kitchen was clean and the food prepared when Junior walked into the mudroom. Lillian would be pleased that her husband was fed properly prior to returning to work for the afternoon.
“Mary Ruth!” he said when he walked in, the surprise quite apparent from his tone. “I’m so glad you came today!” His appreciation was equally obvious. He glanced at Lillian, pale and laying on the sofa. “She is not doing well, ja?”
Following his gaze, Mary Ruth noticed the pale color of Lillian’s skin. There were also beads of sweat on her forehead. “She seems very tired, Junior,” was all that Mary Ruth could say.
“Tired,” he repeated, as though he was testing the word on his tongue. “She was never tired before with our other kinner.”
Smiling, Mary Ruth shrugged. “Mayhaps it’s the twins. She never was pregnant with twins before, ain’t so?”
Junior smiled ba
ck but there was little joy in his smile. Instead, his eyes looked tired and his skin pale. “True, Mary Ruth,” he said. Yet, the concern on his face was more than apparent. Mary Ruth could tell that Junior had more on his mind than just the noon meal. Instead, he was more concerned that his wife was so tired during this pregnancy. “You be certain to thank your folks for letting you come to help out, Mary Ruth.”
If she wanted to ask Junior what was the latest news about Samuel, she did her best to hide the fact. Indeed, she was anxious to know what Samuel was doing, how he was feeling, and whether the law was still chasing after him. But she knew better than to ask. Private matters were kept that way among the Amish. When matters needed to be shared, they were. And, clearly, this one had a long way to go before anyone was going to speak about it.
After the meal, Mary Ruth hurried to clear the table and wash the dishes. It would be another few hours before Linda brought Jacob and Lena back from Sylvia and Jake’s farm. Katie and Jonas had gone visiting to Ephrata, eager to spend some time at Emanuel’s where Steve and his family would be joining them for the afternoon.
Mary Ruth had offered to stay until Katie returned so that Lillian didn’t have to worry about the baby or the older children when they would return from visiting. So, while the house was quiet, Mary Ruth hurried outside to bring in the laundry that she had hung to dry earlier in the day. With six kinners and one hard working man, there was plenty of clothing to wash and it was clear that Lillian hadn’t done any the previous week.
It was warm out, hotter than usual for June. It hadn’t rained in a week and the fields were starting to show the need for water. Mary Ruth stood on her tippy toes as she began to remove the clothing pins from the line and, one by one, folded each article of clothing. She stacked everything neatly on a chair as she worked.
She was just getting to the sheets when she heard the door open to the grossdaadihaus. Glancing under the clothing line, she saw Samuel as he started walking along the driveway, headed toward the back lane. She knew that he’d be returning to the carpentry shop for the remainder of the day. If she wanted to speak to him, now would be the only time.
“Samuel!” she called out.
Her voice must have startled him for he spun around, surprised to see her standing on the porch. But, when he did, his face changed and he hurried toward her. “Mary Ruth!” He didn’t care who was near or watching as he embraced her. “I didn’t think your daed would let you come here!” He pulled back and gently held her chin in his hand. “You are a sight for sore eyes!”
“Can’t be any sorer than my eyes for all the crying I’ve been doing,” she whispered.
He traced her jawbone with his thumb and smiled into her eyes. “No crying, Mary Ruth. I won’t be able to breathe if I think you are crying.” But as he said it, the tears started to form in her eyes. She blinked and glanced away, hoping that he wouldn’t notice. But he did. “No, no,” he said gently. “None of that.”
“What is going to happen to you?”
He took a deep breath. “The truth, Mary Ruth, will be known,” he said. “I know God will not desert me.” He spoke what he felt. How could God desert him after he had made the journey away from his people and quickly returned? How could God desert him on the very day when he had made up his mind to abandon worldliness and commit to life with the Amish. “Nee, He won’t desert me,” he said as he wiped the tear from her cheek with his thumb. “But I don’t know what will happen after that. There are too many people who may not be so willing to forgive and forget, even if there was never anything to forgive.”
She nodded, understanding what he was saying. She wasn’t so certain that her own daed would ever be willing to admit the truth if it were known. He was growing increasingly stubborn as he advanced in age. “I will be here for you,” she said. “Waiting.”
“Always waiting, Mary Ruth Smucker,” he said softly. “Doesn’t seem fair, doesn’t it now?”
Despite herself, she laughed at the irony of what he said. “You speak of fairness?” When he raised an eyebrow in an unspoken question, she leaned her head forward against his chest. “Oh Samuel, how can you speak about fairness to me when all of these horrible things are happening to you? If anyone is having an unfair time, I think you’d be the winner of that award.”
He wrapped one arm around her shoulder and held her tight, not caring if anyone walked by or saw them. He needed this closeness with the one person that he knew believed in him, the one person that he wanted to know believed in him. Her body against his, so soft and supple, comforted him. For a long while, he shut his eyes and let this special moment engrave itself into his memory. Then, reluctantly, he pulled away. “Best to not have anyone spying on us,” he said lightly, although his heart was heavy as he knew that he had to return to work. “I’m surprised you’re here, Mary Ruth,” he said, changing the subject as best as he could.
“Mamm said a promise is a promise,” she replied; “and Simon also promised to keep an eye on me.”
Samuel raised an eyebrow. “Bit hard to do when he’s down there at the shop and I’m here with you, ain’t so?”
She smiled and shrugged innocently. “Mayhaps you have a point but I wasn’t about to argue. Just so long as I could be here, helping Lillian and…” she hesitated. “Being near by in case I could see you.”
He was about to reply when they heard a loud cry from within the house. Mary Ruth looked up at Samuel, questioning him with her eyes. Simultaneously, it dawned on both of them that something was wrong inside. Samuel flung the door open, entering the house first with Mary Ruth close behind him. They found Lillian on the ground, curled up in a fetal position with her dress soaked through.
“Lillian!” Samuel shouted and ran to her side. He lifted her head and cradled it gently on his lap. “What happened?”
“Get Junior,” she whispered, her voice cracking and barely audible.
He looked up at Mary Ruth. “Can you run for Junior, Mary Ruth? Get him down here right away?” She didn’t even answer as she spun around and ran out the door, racing across the yard and through the garden to shortcut over to the lane down to the carpentry shop.
The minutes seemed to pass like hours while Samuel held Lillian on his lap. He said a quick prayer to God, asking for Junior to hurry and for God to protect Lillian and her unborn babies. Whatever was wrong with her looked serious to him and he knew that it would require Englische medicine. He wondered if he shouldn’t have instructed Mary Ruth to call for medical help before going for Junior. Too many thoughts ran through his head at the same time and he felt confused as to what was the right thing to do. He just prayed that whatever decision he had made was sufficient for the beloved wife of his oldest brother.
When Junior finally burst into the kitchen, his face was pale and his eyes large with fright. He quickly took in the situation and hurried to Lillian’s side. Kneeling before her, he clasped her hand in his. “Lillian,” he whispered. “I need to know what happened.”
She nodded and tried to speak but her lips moved without any sound coming out. Junior looked up at Samuel, questioning him with his eyes.
“We heard her cry out and found her like this when we came into the kitchen,” he said.
Junior nodded, doing his best to remain calm. “Best be calling for some medical attention. Would you mind going to the phone shanty and making the call?”
Mary Ruth volunteered. “I’ll do it,” she said then quickly turned and hurried outside, running toward the little shack where the family telephone was housed by the mule shed.
“You’ll stay with the kinners, ja?” Junior asked.
“Of course,” Samuel replied, nodding his head. “They’ll be fine. You just take care of your wife.”
“Junior,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
“Don’t speak,” he said softly. He rubbed her hand in his, trying to comfort her as best as he could. “I don’t want to move you until medical people come, Lillian.”
“It’s
too soon,” she managed to say.
“Nee,” Junior said, forcing a tender and comforting smile on his face that he didn’t feel in his heart. “That’s up to God to decide, isn’t it?”
It was fifteen minutes later when the paramedics arrived and quickly took over the scene. Samuel stood back, his arm protectively around Mary Ruth’s waist as they watched the two men in white uniforms work swiftly over Lillian, getting her onto a stretcher and wheeling her out of the house. Junior followed, uncertain of what to do. It was Rachel who, having settled the children down inside her own home, had come over to see what was happening and quickly urged Junior to go with Lillian in the vehicle.
“She’ll need you and we have your kinners taken care of,” she said.
Junior didn’t need more urging as he jumped into the back of the vehicle with Lillian. When the doors shut and it drove away, Samuel felt an emptiness inside of him. He had never seen anyone taken away like that. It was a surreal feeling to watch the ambulance pull away, the image of Junior’s hat in the small window of the back door. Samuel wondered if this was how his own family had felt when the police had taken him away.
