by Joan Jonker
With a smug smile of satisfaction, Phoebe picked up the egg-cup used for throwing the dice. She gave it a good shake, then stayed her hand. Her head tilted to one side, she asked, ‘Are you two goin’ out together?’
‘Yes,’ Steve said proudly, reaching for Jill’s hand. ‘She’s me girlfriend, aren’t yer, Jill?’
The game forgotten, Dorothy put her hands on the table and rested her chin on them. She thought Jill looked like a fairy princess with her long blonde hair and pretty face. ‘Are yez gettin’ married?’
‘Not for a long time,’ Jill laughed. ‘I’m not sixteen yet.’
‘Yer will be in a few weeks,’ Steve reminded. ‘And I’ll be seventeen.’
‘Can I come to yer weddin’?’ Phoebe asked, her eyes round. ‘I’ve never been to a wedding.’
‘It’s a long way off,’ Jill laughed. Then, gazing at the two thin faces watching her hopefully, she added, ‘Of course you can come to our wedding, can’t they, Steve?’
His heart was nearly bursting with happiness. He felt like hugging Phoebe for bringing the subject up. Every night in bed he dreamed of the day he and Jill would marry, but there was no one he could talk to about it. ‘Yer can both come as our invited guests.’
Their differences forgotten, Phoebe and Dorothy faced each other, eyes shining, their laughter filling the room. ‘Ooh, the gear!’ Phoebe’s face was transformed. Fancy that now, being invited as a guest! Then her brow puckered. ‘Can me mam come, as well?’
How different she looks when she smiles, Jill was thinking. She’s really quite pretty. ‘There’s a long way to go yet, but yes, your mam can come as well.’
‘Yippee!’ Dorothy punched the air. ‘Just wait till we tell ’er.’
‘In the meanwhile,’ Steve said, ‘can we get on with the game? It shouldn’t take too long, I’ve only got two matchsticks left.’
‘That’s because our Dorothy’s been cheatin’.’ But there was no animosity in Phoebe’s voice, she was feeling happier than she’d ever felt. To be able to play games and talk without being shouted at, or getting a clip around the ear, was new to her. She would treasure the memory of this night, she thought as she tossed the dice. And when it rolled to a six, her cup of happiness was overflowing.
‘Have they behaved themselves?’ was the first tiling Ellen asked when she walked into the room, followed by Molly and Nellie.
‘Yeah, we’ve ’ad a smashin’ time,’ Steve said. ‘Haven’t we, kids?’
‘I won nearly all the games, Mam,’ Dorothy said, a grin covering her face. ‘Look ’ow many matchsticks I’ve got.’
‘Yer’d better get home, Jill, an’ you, Steve.’ The look on Molly’s face told her daughter not to ask any questions. ‘It’s work tomorrow, don’t forget.’
‘Ah, ray, can’t we finish the game?’ Phoebe begged. ‘It won’t take long.’
It didn’t go unnoticed by Molly or Nellie that neither of the girls asked about their father. It’s a funny how-d’yer-do, Molly thought as she saw Jill and Steve out. ‘I won’t be long, but tell yer dad to go to bed if he’s tired.’
‘How is Mr Clarke?’ Steve asked.
Molly pulled a face. ‘Ask yer mam, she’ll tell yer. Now, poppy off an’ get some sleep.’
Steve cupped Jill’s elbow. ‘I’ll see Jill home.’
‘Blimey, it’s only next door! Oh, go on then,’ Molly laughed as she stepped back into Ellen’s hall, ‘but make it snappy, she needs her beauty sleep.’
As she was closing the door, Molly saw Steve put his arms around Jill and heard him say, ‘She doesn’t, yer know. She couldn’t be more beautiful than she is now.’
‘What it is to be young,’ Molly muttered softly as she made her way down the dingy hall with its peeling paper and scuffed brown paintwork. ‘He’s a cracker, though, an’ I love the bones of him.’
When Ellen took the girls up to bed, Molly and Nellie went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. ‘We’ll stay and ’ave a drink with ’er,’ Molly said as she filled the battered kettle. ‘I don’t like the way she’s actin’, it just ain’t natural.’
‘It’s a rum do, if yer ask me,’ Nellie huffed as she opened cupboard doors. ‘They’ve got me fair flummoxed, an’ that’s a fact. The girls didn’t even ask after Nobby.’
‘Aye, well, perhaps if we ’ad to live with ’im, we’d understand. God forgive me for sayin’ so, but he’s a right bastard, is Nobby. No one knows what his family ’as to go through.’
‘There’s no sugar.’ Nellie closed a cupboard door. ‘An’ there’s no fresh milk, only conny-onny.’
‘Beggars can’t be choosers, Nellie! Just grin an’ bear it, like Ellen ’as to every day of ’er life.’
Ellen’s face was drawn when she came down, but at least she was talking. ‘We won’t forget the King’s coronation in a hurry, will we? Nobby certainly knows ’ow to pick his time.’
‘Sit down and ’ave a drink.’ Molly pulled out a chair facing Ellen. ‘Now there’s only me an’ Nellie, yer can relax, tell us ’ow yer feel.’
‘I don’t feel anythin’, an’ that’s the truth,’ Ellen said. ‘I’m just numb.’
Molly’s tummy balked when she picked up the cup. It was minus a handle and there were dozens of brown-stained chips around the rim. But she forced herself to take a sip of the sickly sweet tea. ‘Me an’ Nellie are worried stiff about yer. It’s not natural, the way yer behavin’. Why don’t yer let yerself go an’ have a good cry?’
‘What for?’ Ellen delved into her pocket and placed the wage packet in front of Molly. ‘Take a look at that, an’ then yer’ll know why I’ve no tears to shed for Nobby Clarke.’
Puzzled, Molly picked up the packet. ‘Three pounds, twelve an’ six, it says here.’
Ellen’s laugh was bitter. ‘He gives me one pound fifteen shillings to keep the six of us, an’ keeps more than that in ’is pocket every week to pay for ’is gee-gees, beer and ciggies.’
Nellie gasped. ‘That’s not all ’e gives yer, surely?’
‘No, I’m tellin’ lies, it’s not all he gives me.’ Again the bitter laugh. ‘He gives me a belt every time ’e passes me, just for the fun of it.’
‘Tut, tut.’ Nellie’s finger was pushing dents in the fat on her elbows. ‘He should be ashamed of ’imself.’
‘So don’t expect me to cry for Nobby, I’ve shed enough tears over ’im.’ Ellen banged her cup down, her face flushed with anger. ‘I couldn’t afford to pay anythin’ towards the party today ’cos I’m always skint, but Nobby’s been out every night this week, comin’ home drunk. And he got so plastered today, he walked in front of a flamin’ tram! Must ’ave cost ’im a pretty penny to do that ’cos he can certainly hold ’is ale. So while he’s been livin’ the life of Riley, me neighbours ’ave ’ad to pay towards givin’ his kids a bit of pleasure.’
It was shame that finally broke Ellen. Her head dropped and sobs racked her body. Molly and Nellie were round the table in a trice.
‘There now,’ Nellie said, ‘it’ll do yer good to ’ave a cry.’
‘Yes,’ Molly agreed. ‘Get it all out of yer system.’
Ellen raised her tear-stained face. ‘These tears aren’t for Nobby, I’m not such a hypocrite. They’re for all the years I’ve had to put up with ’is violence. Havin’ me pride beaten out of me, an’ havin’ to live in a muck midden like this ’cos I can’t afford any better on the pittance he gives me. Seein’ me kids being knocked around if they look sideways at him, an’ sendin’ them out to school in the mornings with their bellies empty.’ She gulped to clear her throat. ‘I know yez’ll think I’m terrible, and may God forgive me for sayin’ it, but I ’ope he doesn’t get better.’
Molly knelt down by the side of the chair and gathered the broken woman to her breast. Rocking her like a baby, she stroked the lank hair. ‘My heart goes out to yer, Ellen, you an’ the kids.’
Nellie was standing near, tears running down her face. ‘Don’t you worry about God forgivin’ yer, girl. He�
�s not soft. He knows everythin’ that goes on. It’s Nobby what should be worryin’.’
‘Look, Ellen, pull yerself together, go to bed and try to get some sleep.’ Molly lumbered to her feet. ‘Me an’ Nellie will nip up to Maisie’s and let ’er know, just in case the ’ospital rings.’
‘Okay.’ Ellen pushed her chair back. ‘An’ ta, both of yez. I don’t know what I’d ’ave done without yez.’
‘If yer want me in the night, just knock,’ Molly said. ‘If not, I’ll be here first thing, just as soon as I’ve seen to Ruthie.’
‘Don’t bother comin’ to the door with us, we’ll see ourselves out.’
Nellie patted Ellen’s thin arm. ‘You take care of yerself, girl. Goodnight, an’ God bless.’
After taking Ruthie over to Mary Watson’s the next morning, Molly flicked a duster around the furniture and rinsed the dishes. Speaking to the empty room, she said, ‘I’ll give meself a quick cat’s lick an’ a promise, then go an’ see Ellen.’ But as she was running a comb through her hair, the knocker sounded. ‘Oh, God, she must ’ave heard from the ’ospital.’ Her tummy doing somersaults, Molly dashed along the hall. ‘Corker! Am I glad to see you!’
Gabbling fifteen to the dozen, she related all that had happened. Then, after a slight pause to catch her breath, she said, ‘I’m just goin’ to see Ellen now.’
‘I’ll come with you.’ Corker stroked his beard as he watched Molly slip into her coat. ‘Doesn’t ’ave much of a life, does she?’
‘Yer can say that again! It’s not a life, it’s a bloody existence!’
When Ellen saw Corker her face flushed. She would have kept them standing on the step but Molly brushed her aside. ‘Not heard anythin’ then, Ellen?’
She shook her head. ‘I’m just gettin’ ready to go to the ’ospital. I couldn’t go earlier, ’cos I had the kids to see to.’
‘I’m comin’ with yer,’ Molly told her. ‘I’ve got the dinner ready for puttin’ on.’
‘No, I’ll go,’ Corker said quietly. ‘May as well make meself useful, seein’ as I’m home for a week.’
‘I’ll be all right on me own!’ Ellen cried. Her hands were shaking and she tried to control them by folding her arms. ‘I can manage. No one ’as to come with me.’
‘I know I don’t have to, Ellen, but I want to.’ Corker pushed his cap to the back of his head. ‘After all, what are friends for?’
Molly gave her a push in the back. ‘Get crackin’, Ellen!’ But when she didn’t move, Molly tutted in exasperation as she went into the hall. ‘Here’s yer coat. Now, for cryin’ out loud, will yer move!’
Ellen’s whole body started to shake. ‘I’m frightened.’
‘Get us a glass or a cup.’ Corker jerked his head at Molly. When she came back he reached into his inside pocket, brought out a small bottle of whisky and poured a fair measure into the cup. ‘Get that down yer, girl, it’ll steady yer nerves.’
Ellen screwed up her face as the fiery liquid slid down her throat. She coughed and spluttered, but with Molly standing over her she knew she had no option but to empty the cup.
‘There now, yer’ll soon feel better.’ Corker put the cork back in the bottle and placed it on the table. ‘That’s for when we come back. Now, are yer ready?’
Ellen’s lips quivered. ‘What will the neighbours think?’
‘Sod the bloody neighbours!’ Corker put a hand to his mouth. ‘Excuse my language, ladies, it slipped out. But honestly, Ellen, the way yer behavin’ would make a saint swear.’
Molly was standing outside her door watching them walk down the street when Nellie came up behind her. ‘No news yet, kid?’
‘Not a dickie bird! I was goin’ with Ellen, but Corker insisted.’ The corners of Molly’s mouth curved upwards into a smile. ‘They look a scream, don’t they? She’s so small, not a pick on her, an’ Corker’s the size of a flippin’ house!’
‘Aye, I’d want ’im on my side in a fight,’ Nellie said. Then a look of concern crossed her face. ‘I wonder what they’ll find when they get to the ’ossie?’
‘I dunno!’ Molly sighed. ‘Come an’ have a cuppa with me, Nellie, I’m feelin’ down in the dumps. See if yer can think of somethin’ funny to cheer me up.’
‘Well,’ said Nellie, following Molly down the hall, ‘’ave yer heard the one about the Englishman, the Irishman and the Scotsman . . .’
An hour later Molly was seeing Nellie out when a taxi drew up outside and Ellen and Corker stepped out. ‘My God, yer’ve been quick!’
‘We managed to flag the taxi down outside the hospital,’ Corker said, ‘an’ it only took five minutes to get us home.’
‘Are yez comin’ in for a drink?’ Molly asked. ‘The kettle’s on the hob.’
Ellen shook her head, wrapping her faded coat closely around her thin body. ‘Not me, I’ve got a lot of washin’ to do.’
Molly’s mouth dropped. ‘Aren’t yer even goin’ to tell us ’ow Nobby is?’
Corker chipped in, ‘That’s all right, Ellen, you go ’ome. I’ll let them know how things are.’
A vision flashed through Nellie’s mind of the dirty clothes piled up on the kitchen floor waiting to be washed, but she quickly dismissed it. Half an hour wasn’t going to make much difference, and she was eager to know how Nobby was.
‘He’s in a bad way.’ Corker took his cap off and sat down. ‘They had to amputate both his legs.’
‘Oh, dear God!’ Molly gasped, her face the colour of chalk. ‘Poor Ellen.’
‘That’s why I told her to go home. I didn’t want her to ’ave to go through it all again.’ Corker took a packet of Capstan from his pocket and struck a match. He inhaled deeply before meeting the eyes of Molly and Nellie. ‘He’s in a hell of a state, I can’t see him pullin’ through.’
‘Oh, no!’ Molly’s breath caught in her throat. ‘I’m not goin’ to pretend I like Nobby, but I wouldn’t wish that on me worst enemy.’
‘Me neither,’ Nellie said, biting on her bottom lip. ‘It must ’ave been terrible for Ellen, seein’ him like that.’
‘We were only allowed in with him for a couple of minutes, an’ there’s so much paraphernalia around the bed, we couldn’t get near. He’s unconscious, didn’t know we were there.’ Corker drew on his cigarette. ‘I had a word with one of the doctors an’ he doesn’t hold out much hope. In fact, although I don’t want yer to tell Ellen this, the doctor said it would be a blessin’ if he died without regaining consciousness. He’ll have no life if he does pull through, won’t be able to do a thing for ’imself.’
‘Is Ellen goin’ in tonight?’ Molly asked. ‘Me an’ Nellie will go with ’er, won’t we, Nellie? I’ll ask Jill an’ Steve to sit with ’er kids.’
‘She can go in any time, ’cos Nobby’s on the critical list. I’ve told her there’s no point in goin’ in until somethin’ happens, one way or the other, but I think she feels she should go.’ Corker looked from Molly to Nellie. ‘Whatever happens, Ellen’s goin’ to need friends.’ A smile lit up his ruddy face. ‘I’m glad that with you two around she won’t have far to look for them.’
‘Jill, will yer do us a favour, sunshine?’ The family were seated around the table having their evening meal, and all eyes turned to Molly. ‘Will you an’ Steve sit with Ellen’s kids again? She’ll put the young ones to bed, so it’s only Phoebe and Dorothy. Yez don’t mind, do yez?’
‘No, of course not.’ Jill lowered her head to hide a smile, but she wasn’t quick enough for her mother.
Blimey, Molly thought, I’m not asking her a favour, I’m giving her one! Still, they don’t get much time on their own, only when they go to the flicks. If we had a parlour house now, they’d have somewhere to do their courting.
‘Can I go next door, Mam?’ Ruthie put on her innocent face. ‘I’d be good.’
‘Can yer heck-as-like! By the time I go out, you’ll be fast asleep in the land of nod.’
Jack leaned across and smiled into his daughter’s disappointed fa
ce. ‘I’ll put you to bed, eh? And I’ll read yer one of yer fairy stories.’
That did the trick. Ruthie beamed. ‘Will yer read me Jack and the Beanstalk, Dad?’
‘Anythin’ for a quiet life, sunshine.’ Jack held a bone from the sheet of spare ribs between his fingers and inspected it, hoping to find a piece of meat he’d missed. But it was as clean as a whistle. ‘As I say, anythin’ for a quiet life.’
‘Are you goin’ out, Doreen?’ Molly called from the kitchen.
‘I’m meetin’ Maureen, we’re goin’ for a walk to see all the street decorations.’
‘In by ten o’clock, mind!’ Molly came through and started to clear the table. ‘None of this half past ten lark, like it was on Monday, d’yer hear?’
‘All right, Mam, keep yer hair on! I’m not deaf!’
‘None of yer lip, young lady, or yer’ll be feelin’ the back of me hand.’ Molly wagged a warning finger at her daughter before ruffling Tommy’s hair. ‘And you, young feller-me-lad, be in this ’ouse by nine o’clock or else there’ll be trouble.’
‘Aye, aye, sir!’ Tommy gave a smart salute, a cheeky grin on his face. ‘Yer’d make a good sergeant-major, Mam!’
‘Perhaps I should join the army, then!’ Molly chuckled. ‘You lot wouldn’t know what had hit yez! No dinner on the table, no beds made . . . oh, yer’d love that.’
‘I wouldn’t be here to see it, love,’ Jack said. ‘You join the army, I join the army.’
‘We all would,’ Doreen said. ‘Where you go, we all go.’
Molly hummed a little tune as she carried the plates through to the kitchen and slid them into the soapy water in the sink. It was nice to get a compliment now and again, even if it was a back-handed one. She was lucky where her family were concerned. There was many a woman in Liverpool who’d swap places with her, given the chance.
Molly took her hand out of the water to rub the side of her nose. ‘No, I’ve got nothing to complain about. True, I lose me rag with them sometimes, which is only natural ’cos they’re not angels, but I’m not so daft I don’t know when I’m well off.’
‘Did yer say something, love?’ Jack called.
